


A Better World, A Better Me

by DelicateTaleOfBliss



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Character Death, Coming Out, Fluff, Friendship, Love at First Sight, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance, Slight touchy subjects..., Smut, Strict Parents, Suicide Attempt, homeless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 18:34:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 89,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5836345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelicateTaleOfBliss/pseuds/DelicateTaleOfBliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When twenty- one year old Gary Barlow commits a crime, he is sentenced to six months work at a local homeless shelter. However, on his first day at the shelter his life is changed forever when he meets a boy named Mark Owen. Is it possible for Gary to fall in love with someone who use to live on the streets?</p><p>(Updated every two weeks-ish)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Gary? Gary, get up!" Sharply a male's voice calls from the other side of the door. The sun burns through my almost transparent curtains, and disturbs me even more from my sleep. Turning over clumsily, I release a short annoyed grunt. It's seven thirty in the morning, on a Saturday. Usually I'm allowed to have a lie in until at least noon, but this morning is _different_. "You get out of bed right now, Mister!" Rolling my eyes, my hand slaps against my forehead. Even though the words haven't been spoken, already I have an inkling over what exactly my Dad seems to be so pissed about.

 

"I'm... up." Speaking in a small exhausted voice, I stretch my arms above my head whilst my legs almost reach the foot of my single bed.

 

"Good. I want you down these stairs in the next five minutes."

The floor boards creak and the shadow visible underneath the door disappears. Releasing a huff, my eyes glare up at the ceiling. I'm going to kill Rob.

—

 

In a matter of minutes I'm up and dressed, no time for a shower, brush my teeth or even to run a comb through my hair. Padding into the kitchen with bare feet, all eyes are on me. Have I become famous over night or do I have the biggest zit on my face which they're convinced is another head? Glancing between the three of them, my Mother's face softens almost like she's about to burst into tears, where as sitting opposite her my brother, Tyler, has the biggest smug looking grin plastered on his face, I know from both of their expressions I'm in _huge_ trouble. Taking the seat opposite my Father, I crash my teeth together as the wood scraps across the stone flooring. Folding my hands onto the floral place mat sitting in front of me, my eyes decide to focus on them instead of staring into my Father's blazing eyes. "Yeah, you will look ashamed of yourself!"

 

Dragging my tongue across my dry feeling lips, softly I sigh whilst trying to piece together my excuse, but it seems I won't be getting off so lightly this time. "I-" Before I get chance to blurt out my lame excuse, a white opened envelope gets tossed onto the tops of my hands. Lifting my view until it finally connects with my Father's, suddenly I feel like I'm five again.

 

"Well go on, read it! You owe me and your Mother an explanation and a bloody good one as well!" Gripping my bottom lip between my teeth, after a few seconds I decide to unclasp my hands and see what exactly it is that I've done. Unfolding the neatly creased paper, my eyes scan each and every printed letter on the paper. _I knew it._ "Well...? We're waiting!" His voice bellows, making me feel ten times smaller than what I did a few seconds ago.

 

"Yeah, bro! Tell us!" Tyler's amused face bounces inches away from where I'm sat, but stops as soon as he gets a death stare from the powerful looking man, causing him to go back to minding his own business and munching on his Weetabix.

 

"It...it was just...a bit of fun." Clearing my throat, I feel my palms become a little clammy, quickly I rub them on the tops of my jeans.

 

 _"Fun?!"_ The man barks out a laugh. "I'm guessing this was down to that Robbie kid?"

 

"No!" I call out almost too quickly making it clearly obvious that I'm defending my friend. Well, I don't really class him as a _friend,_ not really, he's just someone fun to hang around with and the only person I actually have in my life other than family.

 

"He's no good for you, sweetie." A warm hand lightly touches my arm, almost causing me to flinch by the contact. "...You realise you have to go through court because of him, right?" My throat tightens by the word. Even though I'm in my early twenties and still living at home, right now I feel like crapping myself.

 

Gritting my teeth I raise my eyebrows. "No one I'm ever been friends with is good enough." Moving my hand out of contact, my stomach does flips. It's very rare I stand up to anyone let alone my parents, but today is different, everything about today _is_ different. "...They might not be good enough for _you_ , but they are for _me_!" Increasing my tone of voice, I jump out of my chair, causing Tyler's spoon to slide out of his mouth and drop against the porcelain. "I'm twenty - one years old. You cant keep controlling my life!"

 

"Gary!" Copying my movements, my Father stands to his feet, pointing his finger directly into my face and frowns his lips. "Don't you _dare_ speak to your Mother and me like that!"

 

Shaking my head, my arms fold across my chest, before turning on my heels. "Don't worry...in two months time I'll be out of your hair, _for_ good." With that, I leave the room, leaving the three of them to deal with the awkward silence.

——

 

A month had passed and today was the day of the court hearing. Of course my parents are here with me, acting like it is my first day at school, thankfully minus the hand holding and of course the calming words. It was more like a trip to the dentist to put it politely. It's not the first time I've been in court thanks to Rob and his mates, but today has certainly dragged. The judge or whoever he is that is in charge, hits the small wooden hammer against the side of his desk, causing the three of us to almost jump out of our skins. "Right." Furrowing his brows and wiping the bead of sweat from his forehead, he signs the paper and hands it to the woman which stands beside him, like a dog with it's master. Rolling my eyes as she stamps the bottom and carefully hands it back, a light smirk is present on her face. _Smug bitch._ Fixing his glasses he finally gives me eye contact which only puts me even more on edge. "Gary Barlow, for threatening behaviour and stealing a total of eighty five pounds from _King's Goods_ , you are ordered to pay back the full amount and complete six months of community service at the local homeless shelter." Breathing out a sigh of relief, once again I've got off lightly. Pay back every penny? That's more like a slap on the wrist, then again I'm going to have to pay that money out of my flat deposit which I'm suppose to be moving into next month, maybe my parents will contribute and I can do a typical I owe y- _wait._ Stilling in my seat, the last part of his sentence finally registers in my head.

 

"Ho..homeless...shelter?!" I choke the words out, feeling my chest swell. Never before have I been made to do community service nor have I ever laid eyes on a homeless shelter, but now...now I'm being forced to not only go to one, but work there for six months?!

 

"That's correct. You start Monday morning at nine, so make sure you arrive on time or even a few minutes early." He runs a hand across his face whilst collecting up his papers.

Nodding my head in reply, I decide not to argue, not unless I want an extended sentence.

 _Great_.

 

——

 

"Homeless shelter?!" A chuckle sounds on the end of phone, almost deafening me.

 

"It's not funny! You got me into this soddin' mess, why do I have to suffer?"

 

Even though I can't see him, I can clearly picture the rolling of his eyes on the other end of the phone through the mere silence. "Maybe because you got yourself caught and I never have."

 

"You've been in court more times than me, Rob!"

 

"That's true, but I've only paid fines or whatever. You need to be more smart next time, Gaz-"

 

"There's not going to be a next time!" Flopping down onto the bed, I tug at my tie to loosen it around my neck. "I mean it, I just want to complete that shit and live life in my new flat."

 

"Um, right if you say so." There's shuffling on the line and then the sound of footsteps and keys rattling. "I'm off out for a drink, fancy tagging along? No strings, just a drink, you must be gagging for one." He's right, _I am_. Shaking my head, I decline the offer.

 

"Not today, I start on Monday so I need a clear head before then, plus I need to save for my deposit."

 

"That's still two days away, a drink will help clear your head?" Continuing to temp me, even if I really wanted to go, I don't think I could find the strength to, not after today. "...Well if you change your mind, you know where I am."

 

"Yeah, thanks...have a good time though and stay out of trouble."

 

"Like always!" He laughs. "And let me know how Monday goes."

 

Gritting my teeth at the thought, lightly I sigh. "Uh huh, yeah. Take care."


	2. Chapter 2

The days passed by quicker than what they usually did, and before I knew it, Monday was here. Sitting in the passenger seat of my Mum's car, (she decided to give me a lift instead of me leaving my car outside the shelter, because without a doubt I'd be leaving with half a car by the end of the day), my hand resting underneath my chin, whilst my eyes continue to focus out of the window. My Mum turns off the exhaust once the car stills against the curb, and the vibrations come to an abrupt stop. In the near distance I notice a grey building at the end of the road, not a massive place but still it sticks out like a sore thumb. A few windows are scattered around the building, possibly too high to see out of once inside. "Like a fuckin' prison." Softly I mutter.

 

"Huh?"

 

"I said, I guess that's the place then?"

 

Mum fixes her glasses and nods gently. "You'll be fine. Your Dad and Tyler send their love." Squeezing my knee, lightly a smile forms on her ageing face. "Who knows, maybe you'll enjoy it! Maybe even make a friend or two?"

 

"No thanks." I scoff, whilst straightening up my hair in the mirror above my head. "I better be off, don't wanna be late on my first day. Couldn't handle my sentence being extended, the sooner I'm out of this hell hole the better." Opening the car door, My Mother sighs by my comments.

 

"Have a good day, well try to at least smile? Do you want me to pick you up once you're finished?"

 

Stuffing my hands into my pockets, a mixture of emotions rush through my body, I only have myself to blame. _"Just one more month and you can have your own place."_ I think to myself. "Nah, its good. I need to clear my head, do a bit of thinking. I wont be home late, so no need to worry."

 

Pinching her lips together, she nods again. "See you soon then."

 

"Yeah, bye." Bluntly I say before inhaling a deep breath and walking down the street. Hearing the car engine rumble and seeing the sky darken with grey thick clouds, I shudder as the building comes more and more in sight.

 

Once stood outside, the front doors are frosted, I guess that's understandable, who would want people pointing and laughing at those who simply couldn't look after themselves? Tugging my phone out of my back pocket, I click the menu button which lights up the screen. **8:58 am**. I was told to arrive a few minutes early and two minutes early seems to be perfectly fine on my first day. Breathing in one more breath and squeezing my eyes firmly closed, my hand pushes open the door. Immediately I'm greeted by warmth, chatter and the scraping of pottery. Slowly opening my lids again, I peer around the spacious room. Fold up beds are scattered around the floor where some people are sitting and engaged in conversation. There's an open kitchen to the left hand side of me, where a middle aged woman stands and serves soup and bread to a patient line of people, in my mind I imagined the place would be like this, not as clean as I thought it would actually be, but of course I'm thankful that it is. Three men (roughly the age of my Dad) sit on beds, legs crossed and laughing whilst eating their soup. They're wearing sort of old jackets, one is beige which has a few holes in around the sleeve and collar, the other two are wearing black blazers which are slightly torn and faded. There's also a few children sitting around, not many and not young ones either, possibly early teens? I guess if there were any homeless children younger than teenagers, they would of been sent off to foster care, isn't that what they usually do? Put kids before the parents? Well I hope so anyway. Before I'm able to look at each and every person who is in the same room as me, a hand taps me on the shoulder, causing the hairs to stand up on the back of my neck. I hate being touched, especially by strangers, who knows how dangerous these people actually are. Spinning on my heel, I almost end up colliding with a grinning woman.

 

"You must be..." Straightening her glasses, she peers down at her clipboard. "...Gary. Gary Barlow?"

 

Blinking my eyes, I look her up and down. Judging by her smart clothing, she must be a member of staff here. Her ginger frizzy hair sticks out in all sorts of directions, it almost looks like she's been electrocuted. "...Uh...yeah, that's right."

 

"Excellent. I'm Jenny, I'm the manager of this shelter." Pushing the clipboard underneath her arm, she outstretches her hand into my direction, which of course I take. "There's two other members working today, altogether we have around seven to eight workers, so we're more than happy to have an extra pair of hands." Leading me over to the kitchen area, I follow her behind the counter. "This is Mary, she mainly works with cooking and preparing the food, maybe we'll get you working along side her as the months pass." We exchange a friendly handshake and she pecks my cheek. Mary is half the height of Jenny, but she's chubbier built, her brunette bobbed hairstyle only causes her face to look even more rounded.

 

"Oh, I don't know about that, Jen. You'll have to pry these things out of my hands!" Holding a ladle in one and a tea spoon in the other, widely she smiles into my direction.

 

"Don't worry, I've never been much of a cook, I'll probably end up burning the place down! Much prefer eating than making." Cheekily I wink.

 

"Typical man, eh?" The middle aged women share I laugh and I even manage to push out a meaningful smile. "...Not like our Jay!"

 

"Gary's yet to meet him. We better be quick before he's ready to start his bible stuff, you know what he's like." Playfully rolling her eyes, she tugs on my shirt. We say our goodbyes to Mary, before walking into another room.

 

"I don't have to read the bible, right?" Nervously I ask. For starters, I'm not even religious so there's no chance I could possibly understand anything written in it and secondly, I _hate_ reading, it still brings back awful memories of being a child at school and being _forced_ to read in front of the class, which of course I fucked up. Several times.

 

Patting my shoulder, softly she shakes her head. "No, don't worry hun. Jason isn't all that religious himself, he just finds enjoyment out of reading to the people in here, you know? I guess he wants to show them that they aren't worthless and that someone out there loves them, whether they believe that or not, its down to them. Plus they seem to enjoy it." Knocking on a door, before even given permission to enter, she opens it anyway. Walking inside, I almost end up falling against her as she abruptly stops in her tracks. Peering around her body, I notice a man sitting at a table, the room looks like a staff room. "Jason? This is the new boy, this is Gary."

 

Instantaneously the man lifts his head away from the book resting on the table. "Jesus Christ, Jen. Almost gave me a flipping heart attack!"

 

Lightly she chuckles. "Should you really be using his name in vain?"

 

"Uh, shit. Sorry." Closing the black leather book, he stumbles to his feet and stretches a hand into my direction. "I'm Jason, but you can call me Jay for short, everybody does." We exchange a hand shake and a smile appears on my face. He has jet black hair, sparkling blue eyes and an incredible chiseled jaw line which has dark facial hair scattered across.

 

"Nice to meet you, Jay."

 

The three of us sit around and talk for a good fifteen minutes, just about what exactly the people are like who are staying here, I guess its more like a hostel maybe even a hotel by the treatment they get, all free of charge of course. There's twenty four homeless people in the building, young to old and that's pretty much all of them from the streets around the area (apart from the stubborn ones who prefer to live life on the streets than to ask for help, foolish really.) "Right. We better get you to work then, Gary." Jenny claps her hands and tells Jason the set time he's due to do his reading. Walking back out of the staff room, we walk back to where all the people are. A few are sleeping and the rest are sat around quietly speaking. For people who use to live on the streets, they're well mannered, well at least to one another they are. "You will be doing the laundry today." My stomach flips. The thought of touching people's dirty clothes, causes my nose to scrunch up, I'm a snob, I know. "All you have to do, is...see that pile over there?" Pointing to three wicker washing baskets and a pile of clothes beside them. "...All you have to do, is go through the lot and separate clothes into the right pile of colour. It makes it easier for us when it comes to bunging them into the washing machines."

 

Weakly I nod my head. I've only just recently started doing my _own_ washing, this is a big step for me, I also hate touching other people's belongings, especially strangers dirty clothes. Who know's how many germs are on them! "Uh huh, OK."

 

"Your break is at eleven thirty, so you have plenty of time. No need to rush." Pulling a chair next to the washing baskets, she pats the plastic base. "...Your back will be in agony if you stand up." Rubbing her own back, she rolls her eyes. "If you need anything don't hesitate to come to Mary or myself and if anyone gives you grief, just let us know. Apart from that, have fun with the laundry!"

 

"Yeah...thanks." Forcing out a laugh, I plonk myself onto the chair. 

 _Let the fun begin_.

—————-

 

Thirty minutes into sorting and attempting to fold the clothing, I chew nervously onto my bottom lip, trying the best that I can to not let my hands make full contact with the material. "You don't have to fold them, you know?" A small voice speaks behind me, containing an accent which I can recognise, but can't seem to put my finger on. Turning my head over my shoulder, a smaller man stands behind me with a beaming grin on his face. His teeth are so white they almost burn my eyes. How on earth can a homeless person have such pearly whites?! He doesn't look that much younger than me either.

 

"Uh?"

 

Shaking his head, lightly he laughs. "Given you the boring jobs already? Well, you could have worse. The last guy who worked here got threw straight into the deep end, he had to clean the toilets." The man scrunches up his face. "Poor guy nearly threw up, thanks to Mr Jones over there." Pointing into the direction of a large man who looks well into his fifties, snoring loudly on one of the beds. "...That put me off curry for life, no idea what it did to the man who actually came face to face with the mess, by the way. I'm Mark." Holding a hand into my direction, I blink my eyes down at his palm.

 

"Er-"

 

"Don't worry. I'm not full of disease. I can proudly say I keep myself clean and tidy."

 

Nodding my head, I take his hand, giving it a couple of shakes before pulling away again. "I'm...I'm Gary."

 

"Nice to meet you, Gary. Do you mind if I...?" Sticking out his index finger towards a chair, my teeth sink into my bottom lip.

 

"Go ahead."

 

"Thanks." He mumbles, pushing the brown plastic chair opposite me, running his hand through his hair, it continues to flop back over his right eye. "You're a new one, aren't you?" Searching inside his trouser pocket, he pulls out a cigarette, which immediately causes my eyes to alarm. There's enough anti smoking banners around the building, is he blind? If he gets caught then so will I and that means I'll be involved in the punishment.

 

 

 

"Y...Yeah, I am." Dropping a red shirt to join the other red material, leaning forward into Mark's direction, my voice lowers. "...You do know you're not allowed to, you know? Smoke?" The cigarette rests in the corner of the man's mouth and his eyebrows raise.

 

A smile twitches back onto his lips, showing off that toothy grin, for some reason it brings a flutter into the pit of my stomach. I haven't been smiled at like that in ages. _Ever_ in fact, and I'm the reason for that smile. "Its not real, Gaz." _Gaz._ I've been here for what, five minutes in Mark's company? And already I've gained a nickname. "I gave up years ago, simply because I couldn't afford it. Now I just _'smoke'_ these electronic cigarettes. I do have one of those ecig things, just never got around to set it up, this is on it's last legs anyway."

 

"Oh yeah, I've heard of them. A woman once left hers plugged in, ended up burning her flat down, poor sod."

 

Mark chews on the tip of the cigarette and stretches his eyes. "Ah, I better bare that in mind, then again I don't have a place of mind to burn down." Suddenly the smile is wiped off from his face, lifting his leg, he crosses it over his other and wraps an arm around his own waist. The sadness in his eyes, causes my stomach to swirl. Just by looking at Mark sitting across from me right now, he doesn't even look homeless, he's far too smartly dressed and polite.

 "So...are you 'ere with your family?" Starting on the dark clothing, Mark shifts in his chair by my question and tenses slightly.

 

"Er...no." Dryly he swallows, sucking on the cigarette, whilst directing his eyes away from mine. "...My parents, along with my sister...they died a few years ago."

 

"Oh shit." Freezing in my actions, my throat tightens and becomes slightly hoarse when I next speak. "...I...I'm so sorry."

 

"Its fine, don't worry. ...we didn't really get along that great, but my sister well, I never got chance to meet her." Frowning my face over the ' _I never got chance to meet her'_ comment, Mark picks up on my confusion and continues to explain. "...That's when it happened, they were on the way to the hospital, I was... what? Fourteen, fifteen? I was left with my Gran, one minute I'm ecstatic thinking about having a new sibling, the next we get a phone call saying my parents died in a car crash on the way to the hospital and my sister never got chance to be born. Tragic." Shaking his head, sadly he sighs. "...Sorry, I shouldn't of told you that. I'm whining, ignore me."

 

Sitting back in my chair, my focus has completely been drawn away from work. Running a hand across my chin, words build in my throat but fail to reach my tongue. "I...I don't know what to say. Wow..." I couldn't possibly think about being in Mark's position. Not only has he lost his parents at such a young age, but also his unborn sister. Here I am sat moaning about folding dirty laundry, where as Mark doesn't even have a home to call his own, but still manages to smile. "...And...your er...Gran she?"

 

Shaking his head, he rolls his eyes. "No, she hasn't died. She threw me out on my seventeenth birthday, a few days before that I finally built up enough courage to tell her about coming out, and she couldn't handle it. No one could handle me."

 

"Wait." Squeezing my brows together, my lips scrunch. "...Come out? You already thought about leaving and she decided to throw you out anyway?"

 

Mark sits and thinks for a brief moment, until suddenly he releases a chuckle. "No, no. I mean come out...as in _coming out of the closest?_ Get it?"

 

_He's gay. Oh._

"Sorry, my mind isn't really with it today. I get it, and good for you. I once kissed a boy when I was about nine. He was my first proper kiss." Blushing instantly, I feel like burying my head in the sand. _Why?_ Why did I just say that?! Not speaking a word, faintly he smiles. Probably cringing over my pathetic comment, but he's being too nice to make fun of me about it.

 

"So... I didn't think the place was posh enough for a waiter?" Smirking at my tight white fitted shirt which clings to my chest and also my equally as tight smart black trousers, which of course my Mum had ironed the night before. "Bit overdressed, uh?"

 

Looking down at myself, my cheeks burn once again. "Uh, yeah I know, but I just thought I needed to make a good impression on the first day. Don't want to be forced to stay any longer or anything."

 

"Believe me you don't have to over dress here, in fact, if you do you'll only end up getting mugged. There's some right thieving so and so's in this place." Licking his bottom lip, he carefully removes the cigarette from his mouth. "What exactly did you do to come here, then? I'm guessing it's not for voluntary work?"

 

"Well..." Scratching the back of my head, I begin telling him the story of how I was forced to work here, and about Rob and of course my family. The conversation ends up lasting longer than what I expected it to and I start to feel like I'm over talking, but Mark continues to listen carefully and even laughs at most parts.

 

"So really I should be afraid of _you_ robbing _me_? Then again, I don't have anything worth taking, well there's me hat, but no ones allowed to touch that." Cheekily he winks.

 

"Don't worry, I'm not really into fashion accessor-"

 

"Mark? Stop distracting Gary from his work!" Jason walks out of the staff room, still tightly clutching his bible. "Go on, its time for the reading and Gary can have break. Go on scram."

 

Mark ruffles his long brown hair, and nods. "Thanks for the chat, Gaz. Will you be in again tomorrow?" The man's eyes widen, with a glint of hope sparking in them. My throat for some reason becomes dry.

 "Y...Yeah...I work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday."

 

"Awesome! Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Mr waiter." Playfully he teases as his hand squeezes my shoulder.

 

Rolling my eyes lightly I laugh. "See you tomorrow, mate."

 

—————————

 

Running inside the house, I use my jacket as a shield from the rain. "Gary? Is that you?" A voice echoes from the kitchen as soon as the door slams shut from the gust of wind.

 

"Yeah, its me. Jeez have you seen the weather out there?" Hanging up my dripping jacket, my hand brushes down my now see through shirt.

 

"Terrible, dear. I told you I would of fetched you. Dinner is in the oven when you want it."

 

"Thanks." Releasing a yawn, I sit on the edge of the wooden chair at the kitchen table, my face buried in my hands trying to muffle another yawn.

 

Running a hand up and down my damp shirt, she presses her lips against my temple. "...Go and have a lie down. Your Dad will be home soon and Tyler is round a friend's. Its nice and quiet." Nodding my head I say no more until I reach the door frame.

 

"I met a boy today." Lifting her head into my direction, she almost drops the silverware from her grip. "...He's one of the homeless boy's who stay there, he's called Mark. Nice lad."

 

"Oh, I'm glad you've made a friend, darlin'." Releasing a sigh of relief, I can't help but smile back, feeling the tension drop from me instantly. Why was I so worried about going to the homeless shelter in the first place? If all the other people who stay there are half as nice as Mark, I'm sure I'm going to love it by the end of the week.

 

"G'night, Mum."

 

"Sweet dreams, Gary."


	3. Chapter 3

A week had passed since the first day I started at the homeless shelter and so far I'm loving every minute of it, how strange. Everyday so far, Mark _always_ keeps me company during the work, stopping me from going completely insane and also we sit together during my break. "Fancy a coffee, Mark?" Quivering a brow, I stumble to my feet whilst heading towards the instant coffee machine.

 

"Er...I'd love one, if that's OK? You don't mind paying?"

 

Stuffing my hand into my grey tracksuit bottoms, I pull out a fist full of change. "Course not, Dad left his change out, so I swiped it." Cheekily I wink into his direction.

 

Mark tuts and shakes his head. "You've been 'ere a week and look at you."

 

"Yeah, you must be rubbing off on me already. Bad influence, mate." Playfully I tease. "What do you fancy?" Inaudibly, Mark mumbles something under his breath. "Eh?"

 

"Oh...er...I just said...black coffee, two sugars...please."

 

Putting the money into the machine, I order two coffees, along with two Mars bars once Mark's gaze is focused away from me. "...Here you go, mate."

 

The younger man's cheeks are a little flushed, the pink and reds burn on his pale looking skin as he smiles up at me. "You don't have to feed me, you know? I don't like charity."

 

"I'm not feeding you, I just don't want to look like a fatty." Nudging him slightly, I sit back in my chair. We've been sitting in this very corner of the building ever since my first day. Its nice and peaceful away from everybody else, just for the two of where we can sit and chat without interruptions. I've barely known Mark about a week, but it feels like I can tell him so much and trust him with it. Besides, he doesn't seem to speak to anyone in here, apart from me or the staff.

 

"Thanks." Shyly he smiles, as his lips press against the side of the plastic cup. "...When do you move into your flat?"

 

"Couple of weeks, deposit will be paid soon and a week after that's cleared I can move in. Out of the way of my parents at last."

 

"Do you really not enjoy living there? I mean...a roof is a roof and surly family is the best place for a home?"

 

Guilt runs through my body, but I manage to shake it off slightly. "I know, but I'm constantly being treated like I'm five. I never have time to myself without one of my parents checking up on me every three seconds, or my brother driving me up the fuckin' wall. I'm twenty - one years old and I want a life of my own."

 

Mark nods and scratches his chin with his free hand. "I suppose you have a point there. Your life is yours and you shouldn't let anyone else hold you back. Good for you though."

 

"I'm glad that somebody finally understands. Rob, the guy who got me into this mess and who I told you about, he said I'm making a cock up over movin' out. He thinks if I stay there, I get a free ride. All I have to do is help around the house and everything is free, but that's not the case. I prefer to work and earn for my the things I want and need, then I can proudly show them off. How can I pick up somebody up from the club and bring them back to the house when my parents are in the next room, eh? Try explaining that one with a solid hangover!"

 

Loudly Mark laughs, almost spilling his coffee as he opens his mouth, projecting his laugh. "So basically you're moving out of your free of charge house just so you can have sex with strangers? Unbelievable!" Wiping away the tears of laughter, he still continues to giggle and I can't help but grin back at him.

 

"I don't get out that much, plus I'm not a slag." Sipping my coffee, I cross my leg over the other. "You should come round when I finally move in. We could rent a couple of movies and just stuff our faces. What do you say? It will be nice to let you see different scenery, bet you're going mad in here!"

 

"That'd be nice." Releasing a gentle sigh, his smile calms. "I went mad a long time ago, but yeah, I'd love that...thank you."

 

For a few minutes the conversation drops to a silence level, the pair of us sip our coffees and my eyes focus on the way Mark dunks his Mars bar into the hot liquid. "You like wearing your scarves, eh?" Pointing to the thin grey scarf which is wrapped around the younger man's neck, immediately he presses it against his skin, almost like he's trying to hide a love bite from his parents.

 

"W...what?"

 

Seeing the worry builds up on Mark's face, showing that for some reason I've touched a nerve by asking what I thought was an innocent question. "Er...your...your scarf? You wear them a lot." A wash of panic showers over his face and his fingers remain gripped to the material. "S...Sorry. I didn't realise it was-"

 

"No." Gulping back his nerves, faintly he smiles. "Its fine...its just...its jus-"

 

"Gary? Can you come 'ere a sec?" Mary calls from the kitchen, which stops Mark from telling me his confession.

 

"Erh..." Glancing over my shoulder at the woman, I focus my sight back onto Mark, who pats my knee.

 

"Its OK. You go."

 

"I wont be long." Placing my cup on the floor beside my chair, I sprint over to Mary. "You called?"

 

Handing me a tray which contains five differently coloured mugs, she guides me out of the kitchen area. "Be a dear and hand these around to the five gentlemen sitting over there, please?" Pointing into the direction of five middle aged men, I watch Mark out the corner of my eye. Peacefully he sits, playing with his fingers and draining the remaining liquid from his cup.

 

"Yeah sure, can I get off after this then?" She nods her head and pats my back. Carefully walking over to where the men are sitting, I clear my throat to gain their attention. "Er...I think these are coffees?" Passing a mug to each of the men, they don't speak, instead I receive glares instead of polite thank yous. Once all of the mugs have left the tray, I paint on a smile before walking away again. "Jeez, tough crowd, uh?" Handing Mary the now empty tray which contain coffee stains, gently she chuckles.

 

"They're not all a ray of sunshine like our, Markie." Water sprays against the plastic and she continues washing the pile of used bowls and plates. "...He's took a shine to you."

 

"Mark's a good lad." Peering over my shoulder to look at him again, we catch eye contact and his cheeks redden again. "He's really..." Searching for the right word, without sounding _too_ cheesy, I manage to settle on "lovely."

 

"He hasn't stopped speaking about you, ever since your first day."

 

"Oh, really?"

 

"Hmm - uh. It's: _'do you know Gary has this'_ , ' _do you know Gary once did that?'_ He thinks you're a looker, but would _love_ to style you."

 

Almost choking on my laughter, I hold onto my stomach. "I didn't think I was that badly dressed! Then again, he's dressed far better than me and he's homeless. I think we've changed roles."

 

Happily Mary sighs and lifts the basket of freshly washed dishes. "You better get back to him, before someone else chats him up." Cheekily she winks. "He's a keeper."

 

"Oh, but I'm-" Before I get chance to tell her that I'm not interested in him _that_ way, she scurries out of sight. Running a hand through my hair, I decide to finish my coffee and conversation with Mark before I head off. Padding back into _our_ corner, suddenly the sound of a voice yelling across the other side of the room, causes me jump out of my skin. Lifting my view to the right hand side of me, a tall man storms towards me with his face puffing up from anger.

 

"Oi! I'm talking to you!"

 

Looking around me, there's only me and Mark who are close by. "M...Me?"

 

"Yes you, you fat prick!" It feels like my bones have disintegrated and my body has turned to jelly. There's nothing more that upsets me, other than being called about my weight. I'm not the slimmest boy my age, but I've certainly worked hard to get my figure the way it is. "What do you think you're playing at? Giving my mate sugar when he's diabetic?! Do you understand you could of put him in danger?!"

 

Is _that_ it? Sugar in his friend's coffee and that means he has to charge at me like a raging bull? It's not like he's going to die or anything from sugar, right? "But I-"

 

"I don't care about your pathetic excuses! He's already had one seizure this month! Are you trying to put him into a coma? There's at least four sugars in there!"

 

"Listen. I didn't make the coffees, I just simply did what I was told and brought them over to you. Take it out with the kitchen staff and _not_ me." Turning on the spot, I decide to leave before things get over heated, but before I get chance to, a hand is slapped on my shoulder.

 

"Don't you _dare_ get smart with me, Son! Do you want me to teach that smart mouth of yours a lesson, huh?" Rolling up his blazer sleeves, I hold my hands up in defense. Suddenly my view is blocked and I'm not sure whether that's down to both of my eyes getting punched in, or if someone is standing guard of me.

 

"Sit the hell down!" Blinking my eyes, instantly I recongise the voice. Mark is standing in between me and the guy. He's standing up for me. For once, someone is actually defending me. My heart swells and my stomach swirls. "Don't you dare talk to him like that, OK?" Mark raises his voice and prods his finger against the man's rock hard chest. Easily the man could knock Mark over with one puff of breath, but seeing the anger building up on Mark's face, I wouldn't be so sure.

 

"Mark...Its fine, mate-"

 

"Who's this? Your guard dog or your _boyfriend?!"_ Sneering at the pair of us, the other men join in with the laughter, if I didn't already feel small before, I certainly do now.

 

"Are you going to shut your mouth, or do have to do it for you?!" Standing on his tip toes, Mark's face is almost right up against the man's opposite him. Tugging on his arm, I force him away. The last thing I want is Mark to get hurt, even if he wasn't the one to get hurt, he'd certainly end up thrown out of here and I don't want that to happen either.

 

"Come on, lets get some fresh air."

 

"No, Gary! I'm not having some old bastard speak to _you_ like that!"

 

"Mark, please. I don't want this, please lets just go outside?" Widening my eyes, I pull him in front of me, our noses are almost touching and the hot breath leaves his parted lips and hits against my cheek. For a few seconds he just stares into my eyes. _Really_ stares and it feels like time is travelling in slow motion.

 

"Right...OK, I'll come." Lowering his voice, it softens as he allows me to drag him by the arm towards the front door. The men continue to laugh and call out to us as we leave, insults involving Mark's sexuality. As soon we the exit the building, Mark shakes off my grip and his foot makes contact with the brick wall. "Stupid mother fucker!" Loudly he curses.

 

"S...Sorry...I-"

 

"Not _you_! That old git in there! Who does he think he is? All that over putting sugar in a drink! How on earth was you suppose to know that?!"

 

"I...I didn't make the coffees..." Sadly I bow my head and push my hands into my tracksuit pockets.

 

Breathing out a sigh, Mark's shakes his head. "I know, Gaz. Even if you did, he shouldn't of blew up like that at you! People make mistakes. Uh, I'm livid."

 

"It's OK...I'm fine..." Taking a gentle grip to his arms, I pull him closer towards me. "I'm not hurt, not physically...though the name calling did sting a little."

 

"You're not fat, Gaz. Look at him! He's three times the size of you! You have a great body on you." Tilting his head onto one side, his hands rest underneath my elbows whilst I'm still holding his arms. "Erh...not...not that I've been staring or anything." Quickly he defends himself, but the blushing does him no favours what so ever.

 

Releasing my grip, I can't help but smile as I decide to change the subject. "Mary said you wanted to style me?"

 

"S...She...told you _that?"_ Arching an eyebrow, shyly he smiles. "...Did she tell you anything else?!"

 

Thinking for a moment, I remember that she also briefly mentioned that he has a crush on me, but for now I pretend that she never said a word about that, he looks embarrassed enough as it is. "Just that." I chuckle. "You should come clothes shopping with me when the flat's sorted. Style me the way you like, but minus the scarves and hats. There's no way they would suit me!"

 

Mark giggles and the tension drops from his body. "You'd look good in leather- I...I mean...erh...a leather jacket would look great on you!" Sucking my bottom lip, I can't lie, I almost thought he was suggesting something else with the leather and for some reason I wouldn't of minded if he did suggest _that_. "Some nice jeans, a leather jacket, we could gel up your hair, a white shirt-"

 

"Jesus, Mark. I said style me, not sign me up to star in bloody Grease!" The pair of us burst into laughter, hearing Mark's high pitched laugh only causes us to almost split our sides laughing. "Right, lad. I best be off. I need to pack at least a box or two tonight, God time's flying by."

 

"Alright. Well, try not to over tire yourself, its been a pretty...eventful day."

 

"Yeah, indeed it has been. I'll see you Thursday morning, then." Awkwardly we stand opposite each other in silence. This hasn't happened before, usually we have the bible chat and I leave, but Jason's off ill today and it's never been just the two of us saying goodbye on a street corner before. Is this where we shake ha- A pair of arms are slung around my neck, pulling me into his personal space. A hug. Yeah a hug is... OK. Wrapping my arms around the smaller man's waist, lightly I pat the bottom of his back. "Thanks for today, it'd be hell without your company." Grinning against his shoulder, I feel his hands squeeze my back slightly.

 

"It's great to have you around the place, Gaz. You really brighten up my days." After a few minutes, the embrace is broken. "And by the way, you have a fuckin' incredible figure." Whispering against my ear, the warmth of his breath stirs in the pit of my stomach again. Since when did someone have such a strong effect on me? I guess I'm not really use to the idea of having friend. A friend who actually takes interest in _me._

_A friend._

Rob's never really taken care of me or even told me he's liked one thing about me, but Mark no doubt could write a book about what he likes about me, then again he _does_ have a crush on me. 

 

Majorly blushing, I walk over to where my car is parked. "Um, thanks. Y..You...You too." The words spill out of my mouth before I get chance to think them over. _Major cringe_. I'm definitely going to flush my head down the toilet over that one! Mark giggles and crosses his arms whilst I get in the driver's side of my car. Part of me is dying to ask him to hop in, so we can continue having a good time, but the thought of taking him back home to my parents house will only cause an uproar. A homeless boy who has a crush on their Son, imagine that conversation! "I'll see you Thursday..."

 

"Can't wait..."

 

Pulling out onto the road, we wave each other off. Watching Mark out of the mirror above me, he continues to stand in the same spot until I'm out of sight. My cheeks continue to throb and my forehead collects beads of sweat. 

What's wrong with me?!


	4. Chapter 4

**_Mark's POV_ **

 

Softly smiling to myself, I walk back into the building. Did that really just happen? Me and Gary hugged and he didn't pull away nor kick me in the balls. Bless, it's cute how nervous and shy he gets sometimes. Frowning at the circle of men who started on Gary for no important reason, I slide into the back room. 

"There's something definitely going on between those two...-"

 

"Between which two?" I ask whilst hopping onto the stool against the counter top. Jason stops dead in his tracks and drops his biscuit into his tea.

 

"Why do you never knock?!" Angrily he hisses whilst trying to fish out the crumbled up biscuit from the hot liquid. "And what are you even doing back here?"

 

"Jen let's me back here actually. Anyway, I thought you were off ill? Tryna skive, Jase?" 

 

Jason rolls his eyes and grumbles something under his breath. "I'm feeling better, thanks for asking." Sarcastically he speaks. "I thought it'd be nice to pop in for an hour to help out, unlike _certain_ members of the staff around here." 

 

Clearly he hits out at Gary over that, but I choose to _not_ let Jason's snide comments get to me, that way I know it'll manage to piss him off ten times more. "Well, why you're standing around gassing, you can make me a cuppa. Tea, two sugars, little milk, please." Glaring his eyes into my direction, like always, he does as he's told. Slamming down his mug, quietly I giggle before spinning around on my stool to face Mary. "So what's the gossip then?"

 

Peacefully Mary sips her coffee, and loops a piece of hair around her ear. "What do you mean?"

 

"You two were chatting about two people in here? Oh come on, I'm entitled to a little bit of gossip whilst being stuck in this shit hole!"

 

"There's always the streets you can live on if this place isn't good enough for the Lordship!" Jason frowns, whilst pouring the boiled water into my usual mug. "...Or Gary's home."

 

"Gary's home?" I smirk. "Why would I live at Gary's?" Mary awkwardly slides back into her chair and Jason lightly shakes his head. That's when it all clicks into place. "Wait... you think we're... _dating?"_

 

"It's OK if you are, Mark." Mary reaches for my hand and gently squeezes it. "Just make sure you let Jenny know."

 

Scrunching up my face, Jason places the mug in front of me on the table. "Why would I let Jenny know about who I'm dating?"

 

Painfully the middle aged woman sighs and runs her tongue across her bottom lip. "Gary's moving into his new home soon, isn't he?" Looking puzzled, I vaguely nod my head. "Well Gary's employed at the bar aswell as working here, plus he's going to be owning his own place, so if the pair of you are seeing on another other than being friend's then you would-"

 

"What Mary's trying to say is, if the pair of you are a couple you'd be thrown out of here or you'd move in with Gary. There's no free ride here!"

 

Dropping back into my chair, I crease my forehead. "So we've barely known each other for a week and if we're seeing each other I'd be threatened to be kicked out?! Bollocks!"

 

"They're the rules..." Jason smugly smirks whilst shrugging his shoulders. He's _never_ liked me, so seeing me upset is something he's loving.

 

"And who are you to tell me what to do?! All you're here for is to fill us with false hope so we don't top ourselves! If this so called _God_ was real he wouldn't make us suffer!" Gritting my teeth, my fist clench. "So what if I have a crush on Gary, does that mean mean we have to get married or something? You can't stop us from being friends! I don't even think he's gay!"

 

"He could of fooled us..." Snapping my gaze back over towards the slender bearded man, my eyes burn against the side of his head.

 

"Mark, please." Sadly Mary looks at me, but my anger continues to take over.

 

"No, Mary! What about my health?! I was dragged here because I almost died on the streets! You acted like my Mother... You took me in as your own, now you're throwing me out like I'm worthless. I've already lost one Mum..." My voice shakes and my bottom lip trembles. "...And now...now...I guess I've lost another." Jumping from my stool I stride towards the staff door, feeling the tears drip down my cheeks.

 

"Mar-" Loudly I slam the door, before hurrying towards the showers. Locking the door I drop to my knees, whilst sobbing against my palms. How could they do this?! I have no where else to go, I have no friends other than Gary and I'd never beg to stay with him, it's so unfair.

 

I wish that he was here now...

 

————

 

**_Gary's POV_ **

 

"I'm ho-" Before I even get chance to close the front door, my Mum appears at the kitchen door with her finger pressed against her lips. " _Oh_... Sorry?" Quietly I whisper, whilst slipping off my shoes. Hanging up my coat and car keys, my eyebrows are screwed as I make my way into the kitchen. "Er... What's going on?" Seeing my Father sitting at the table, a hand pressed against his forehead and the other sympathetically rubbing his own back.

 

"...Your Dad got sent home from work today." Softly the woman speaks, placing a steaming mug onto the table, underneath my Father's nose and making him shudder. "He had an accident...he fell off one of the ladders..he's awfully damaged his back, thankfully no broken bones though..." Sadly she looks down at her husband.

 

"Oh... Wow." Shaking my head, I walk closer to the table, but I manage to stop myself from placing a hand onto his back. "A... Are you OK?"

 

"Do I _look_ like I'm OK?!" Loudly my Father snaps, making me jump backwards a step or two. "Christ..." That was unexpected, but then again...not.

 

Holding my hands up in defense, I make eye contact with my Mother, who's face has turned a pale white by the tone of his voice. "Alright...no need to yell." Muttering under my breath, I walk over to the boiled kettle.

 

"I want some peace, Gary. Is that _too_ much to ask?" He hisses through his teeth.

 

It's always the same, whenever he's ill or having a bad day the blame will be cast onto somebody else, he's _never_ to blame.

 

Adding the teabag and sugar into my mug, I frown my lips whilst peering over my shoulder. "All I said was are you OK? Stupid question I know, but there's no need to bite my flamin' head off!"

 

"Maybe I wouldn't bite your head off for once, if you use your brain! Look at you! You're twenty one years old..."

 

_Oh, here we go. A lecture._

 

"...Who's _only_ just decided to move out of his parents home! You've threw away your education to sing karaoke in some backstreet bar-"

 

"Excuse me?! I haven't thrown away my education for anything! Just because I'm not like Tyler, mirroring you! I make music and I play piano, but I also work damn hard in that bar!"

 

"Yeah tinkling the ivories and pouring a few pints, such a hard life, Gary!" Slamming the side of his fist against the top table, the pair of us glare into one anothers direction. "By now, me and your Mother expected you to be settled down with a girl, maybe even with a family on the way. But no, you're too busy getting into trouble with the law with all types of scum on the Earth!"

 

"I don't need to listen to this." Dropping the tea spoon into the sink, I leave my half made cup of tea on the work top.

 

The older man scoffs. "Don't expect me to help you with moving your crap to your shoebox. I mean... _flat."_

 

His words cause me to freeze on the spot. "Are you kidding me?! You're expecting me to shift _all_ of those boxes by myself?! I bet you purposely injured yourself, just to get back at me, uh? Well, shove it. I don't need your help, I've got people and they will help me, just don't expect me to come running when you need _my_ help."

 

"People? You mean the druggie and the tramp?!"

 

Suddenly something snaps inside of my body. Did he just call Mark a tramp?

 

_A tramp._

 

"How dare you!" Clenching my fists, my Mother flees from the seat opposite my Father at the kitchen table.

 

"Gary. Gary, calm down. He doesn't mean it." Her hands cup my face, but in frustration, I break the contact.

 

" _His_ name is _Mark_. Don't you dare speak of him like that! You don't know a single thing about him!" My heart rate increases and my body slightly trembles from the flowing rage. "He's ten times the man you will ever be!"

 

The older man smirks, pressing more pressure onto the bottom of his back. "I'll give you one more week until you call the cops on him for robbing you. Don't come crying to me when that happens."

 

Stepping backwards out from my Mother contact, I shake my head in pure disgust at the pair of them. "I've had enough. You can talk about me all you like until you're blue in the face, if I'm that much of a disgrace to you, but you never...never speak about my friends like that." On that note, I leave the kitchen area. Marching along the laminate flooring, I make my way to my bedroom. I can't take living here much longer, its killing me, emotionally. Slamming my door once I'm inside, the palms of my hands press against my burning cheeks. How could someone be so vile? Mark's lost everything he's ever loved and he still manages to keep a smile on his face, he still manages to make _me_ happy!

 

Kicking the pile of dirty clothes which sit beside my bed, I plonk down onto the mattress. If only I could speak to him now, at least that way I could calm down. Laying flat on my back, steadily I begin to breathe as I stare blankly up at the ceiling. Its not like I can even walk to the shelter to see him, it closes at a certain time and there's no other way we can communicate...unless. Sitting upright onto the centre of the mattress, finally it hits me.

 

_A mobile._

 

———————

 

It's my day off from both the shelter and the bar, but instead of sitting around twiddling my thumbs or packing endless boxes, here I am standing in a second hand mobile shop deciding on which brand would be easiest for Mark to use. I guess a standard _Blackberry_ would be best, I'm sure it's been years since he last had a mobile...that's _if_ he has actually ever had one. At least a _Blackberry's_ keys will be easy to understand, unlike a touch screen. As soon as it's my turn to be served, I point to the correct mobile which sits behind the glass counter. Carefully putting it into the slightly torn box, lightly I smile. Why am I going to so much effort for someone I've barely known a week? Scolding myself for questioning my generosity, it hits me _why_ I'm standing here now. Mark's been through hell and I want to make _him_ smile for a change, he deserves a gift in return.

 

"Is that everything Sir?" The grey hair male scratches his mustache whilst sliding the package across the glass counter, nodding my head I reach for my wallet. "All in all, that will come to seventy pounds, please." _Ouch._ OK, maybe I wasn't expecting a second hand mobileto come to _that_ much, but then again he did throw in a ten pound top up for free, along with the accessories. Handing over my credit card, I type in my code. I _was_ using this money to put towards a new keyboard, but that can wait...like always. "Thank you, Sir. Have a nice day." Placing the receipt into the plastic emerald bag, we both exchange a friendly smile, until I almost end up falling into a taller man who's standing just centimeters from me.

 

"Woah. Sorry mate!" Running a hand across my slightly sweaty forehead, our eyes lock and bulge slightly. "Oh hel-"

 

"You're...Gary?" It's Jason, from the shelter.

 

"Eh, yeah I am. How are you doing?" Faintly I smile. This is the first time we've spoken, one on one since being at the shelter. He's not the most talkative person and Mark can barely stand him, but we haven't had any run ins, not _just_ yet.

 

"Yeah I'm good thanks, you?" Scratching his overgrown stubble, his eyes are drawn to the plastic bag which is in my grip. "...You're not at the shelter today, are you?"

 

"Erh...no...but I'm about to pop in. Are you buying a new phone or something?"

 

"New charger. I go through these things like toilet paper, I tell you." He shakes his head, slightly annoyed. "You downgrading?" Pointing to the bag, he notices the _Blackberry_ logo shining through the plastic.

 

"Oh er..." Chewing my bottom lip, I pause for a moment or two. "A...Actually...it's a present. A present for... _Mark."_

 

Jason's blue eyes widen, almost burning down into mine, for some reason I feel suddenly small. What is the deal with him and Mark. "Wow. That's erh...some _gift."_ Awkwardly he stands in front of me, blocking my only exit. "You have some...generosity...make sure he appreciates that and doesn't take advantage."

 

Opening my mouth to question _what exactly he means,_ for now I ignore it. He's probably trying to wind me up and turn me against Mark, fat chance that'll happen. "I'm sure he will. I better get going, so I'll see you at the shelter?"

 

Nodding his head, forcefully he smiles. "See you later."

 

———————

 

Resting the package at the foot of the passengers side of the car, I happily walk inside. Strangely I get flutters picturing the look on Mark's face when he opens his gift, even if I do feel guilty that it's second hand, I simply can't afford anything else. Glancing around the spacious room, my eyes immediately notice the figure who's slouching in his chair in the usual corner. A beaming grin stretches across my face as I begin to pick up the pace. It seems he's down dressed today, grey joggers, blue and orange non branded trainers, matching hoodie and of course a scarf wrapped tightly around his neck, this time a thin green one. Clearing my throat as soon as I'm stood inches behind him, I bite my bottom lip, seeing him flinch and almost spill his coffee. "S'cuse me Sir, but the more you stare into that wall, the bigger chance you'll burn a great hole in it."

 

Mark jumps from his chair, his mouth drops open slightly. "G...Gary? What...what are doing here?" Stepping backwards, a guilty look appears on his face. Already I can sense something isn't right, he certainly looks like he hasn't had a good night's rest.

 

"Wondering whether you wanted to accompany me for a bite to eat? That's if you are allowed out of here? It's only a local burger place, but-"

 

"I'd love to." Answering almost too quickly, I notice the redness underneath his eyes.

 

Something _really_ is bothering him.

 

"Awesome. Well, the car's waiting outside, do you need to tell anyone that you're leaving?"

 

Shaking his head, already he begins walking towards the glass doors. "It's fine, I always leave without saying owt, they're just thankful to see the back of you."

 

———

 

The drive merely lasts ten minutes and Mark doesn't even question the strange package which currently rests against his shins, I decide to give it him after we've eaten, at least that way I can understand why he's acting so strange. The only sound which can be heard is the faint mumbles coming from the radio and the car engine humming, so once the car stills everything is brought to an awkward silence. "Do you want to er?" Holding onto my seat belt, Mark's hand rests underneath his chin whilst he peacefully stares out of the window, he's been in that position since we set off.

 

Shaking away his thoughts, he paints on a smile before unbuckling his seat belt.

 

"I haven't had a burger since I was about twelve." He says as we get out of the car whilst I quickly lock it. "Mum never agreed to fast food, so I always use to travel places with me Dad, just so I could get one on the way back."

 

Warmly I smile at him, as we walk up towards the small building. It's nice to see Mark's face lighten when he speaks about old, happy childhood memories. "So you're breaking the rules now, eh?"

 

"It's fine, it's good to have someone around so I can blame them." Softly he chuckles.

 

Pushing open the transparent door, the place is crowded, which is unusual, especially for a week day.

 

Mark pokes me in the ribs. "Forgot it was school holidays."

 

 _Shit, of course._ There isn't a table in sight which sits two chairs, everywhere is taken, even the high chairs.

 

"We could go back to my car and eat? Not very appetising, but then again there's always the shelter?"

 

"I've got a better place we can go." Mark interrupts.

 

Smiling gently, I don't question. The pair of us order our chosen burgers and after a guilty smile, Mark allows me to pay. "You know, I will pay you back." The smaller man pipes up as we walk along the pavement.

 

"Eh?" Biting into my burger already, I chew with my mouth open, which Mark giggles at the sight.

 

"As soon as I've got myself sorted and I'm firmly on my feet, I'll pay you back. For the coffees, the chocolate bars and now the burger."

 

Tutting softly, I suck the grease from my thumb. "Don't be daft, I want to treat you, Mark."

 

"Why?"

 

Shrugging my shoulders, I continue to eat my burger, focusing my eyes away from him. "Well, why not? You're a friend and that's what friend's do, isn't it?"

 

"Yeah." Clearing his throat, he continues to lead the trail to his chosen destination. "It is, but not when it's one sided. I have nothing to offer you, Gaz. So you shouldn't feel the need to _treat_ me."

 

"Non sense. You're a good friend, Markie. You listen to me constantly babble on about my family and god knows what other crap I talk about. I really appreciate it, you make me erh... _happy."_ The last part comes out in a mere whisper, but somehow Mark still manages to hear it, well I think he did, because his cheeks have started glowing and his eyes are focusing on his moving feet.

 

Not replying to what I've just said, he walks up the grass banks, with me shortly following behind. "It's just up 'ere." Once he reaches the top, he offers a hand down to me, which I take with a blush. It's clear that I'm unfit, especially whilst I'm shoving a greasy hamburger down my throat. Tugging my hand, with a grunt, somehow I manage to reach the top, thanks to Mark's helping hand of course.

 

Standing back to my feet, with my half eaten burger in hand, my eyes widen at the beautiful scenery around me.

 

"Wow...nice place."

 

Happily Mark drops his head back, as a smile twitches against the corners of his lips. Sniffing the air, he breathes a sigh of relief. "...I use to always come here, with my parents. There's a bench over there." Letting him lead again, I quietly follow him.

 

"I didn't know you were close with your parents, because you said-"

 

"I know." Cutting me off, the pair of us sit down on the ancient looking wooden bench, I'm pretty sure it won't be able to hold both of our weights, but it's worth a shot. "I wasn't the last few years of my parents lives, but when I was younger...I was. I regret that now."

 

"You must think I'm a complete arse..." Muttering under my breath, I cover up my half eaten burger, after all the walking my hunger has officially been filled.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"All I ever do is complain about my parents, saying how much I dislike my Dad...I should be treasuring the time I have with them, because I know, it wont last forever..."

 

The brunette nods gently. "Yeah...that's true, but it's your choice at the end of the day. Not every parent is the same and at the end of the day, life is too short for grudges."

 

_He's right._

 

If only my Father was as understanding as Mark was, my life would be a lot simpler and easier. Resting against the back of the bench, I take in my surrounds. It's beautifully quiet up here and even though the conversation has turned into silence, it isn't awkward this time, it's relaxing. "...There use to be a rose bush and a small river over there, obviously things have changed since, but I use to love chasing the butterflies in the summer. I use to sit and cry for hours when they flew out of my hand. The guy who use to sell balloons and stuff for the summer fairs even gave me a cuddly butterfly when he saw me throwing a strop one day. God knows what happened to the thing, I use to carry it everywhere with me." Bowing his head slightly, he puffs air out of his cheeks.

 

"So you have a thing for butterflies?"

 

"When I was about eight, Gaz. You don't see me chasing them now." A smile graces his face once again.

 

"Hey, if you wanna go chase the butterflies, be my guest. I might even join you."

 

Laughing now, he knocks his shoulder against mine. "Yeah, looking like two overgrown children, chasing butterflies. People will think we're on somethin'."

 

"You're only saying that, because you know I'll catch _more_ than you."

 

Turning to face me now, he raises both of his brows. "Are you challenging my butterfly skills, Mr Barlow?"

 

Seeing the serious look on Mark's face, only causes the pair of us to fall about laughing for a good minute or two. I haven't laughed like this since knowing Mark. It's strange, but good at the same time. It's cheesy and an overused statement, but it honestly does feel like I've known Mark longer than two weeks, possibly like I've known him in a previous life and we're laughing like old times. Either that or it's something else, a feeling I can't describe.

 

The sun slowly disappears behind the gloomy blankets of clouds. Mark shivers slightly and goosebumps form on his skin, not even the remaining heat of the wrapped up - untouched burger can keep him warm. "We better head back, the shelter will be closing soon, don't want you being locked out, otherwise you _will_ be stuck up here waiting for the butterflies to wake up." Giggling softly, I wrap an arm around Mark's back, almost like I've lost control of my limbs, it feels a natural thing to do. Nudging closer, he rests his head against my collar bone and his eyes slowly open and close, noticing the tiredness creep into his body, I decide to leave the questions about his previous mood for another day. I can't ruin things, not now.

 

"Yeah..." Releasing an exhausted yawn against my body, he forces himself to sit back up again. "I'll eat this before bed. It's cold now, but it's better than the crap they feed you in there." Squeezing his now cold burger, we stumble to our feet. "Thanks for today, Gaz. It's been...nice. _Very_...nice." Tiredly he smiles up at me, whilst blinking through his long lashes.

 

"It's been fun, I'm glad you came. And it's good to see you smiling again, _butterfly."_

 

The younger man frowns his eyebrows looking confused, yet a pleased smile glows on his face. "Did you just call me... _butterfly?"_

 

Chuckling softly, we begin to walk down the grass banks and towards the car. "Indeed I did. And before I forget...I've bought you a present. That was the whole reason why I wanted to meet with you today."

 

Looking back down at him, his smile straightens into a thin line and confusion fills his face. "A...a pr...present?" Almost choking out the single word, different emotions show on his face, mainly shock and surprise.

 

"Uh huh." Wrapping a single arm around him, I pull him closer towards my body as we walk together, keeping the pair of us warm the best that I can. "You deserve to be treated for once and to me...it's the perfect gift...for both of us."

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**_Gary's POV_ **

 

_**Marky:**  "I can't thank you enough!!!!"_

 

Smiling to myself whilst glancing at the bold message on the white screen, I remove my t shirt before tapping a message back. _"That's the 5th text where you've thanked me ! Nothing to thank me for. How r u feeling?"_ Placing my mobile onto the Chester draws opposite my bed, before I even get chance to put my black vest top on, my mobile vibrates in seconds. To say this is the second time he's owned a mobile, he certainly knows how to use one. Discarding my tracksuit bottoms, I slide on a pair of white Adidas shorts.

 

 _ **Marky:** "Better than earlier, what are you up to??? :-)"_  

 

Laughing softly, I pull back my duvet, whilst reaching for my notepad. _"Just got into bed...u?"_ Scribbling the pen against the slightly creased corner of the paper, it takes a few scribbles until the black ink shows.

 

 _ **Marky:** "Oooh............I better leave you then."_  

 

 _"No its fine. I need to write some lyrics down for tomoz. I need me little Marky's company incase I fall asleep lol"_ Humming softly, I begin writing down the lyrics which have been floating around my head on the drive home. My mind is like a jukebox lately, it must be my new surroundings which are giving me ideas for new songs. Mark doesn't type a message back for at least five minutes and when he finally does, the vibration almost makes me jump out of my skin.

 

 _ **Marky:**  "You need to let me listen to some of those songs of yours........I bet you have a beautiful singing voice......"_ 

 

Chewing on my bottom lip, my eyes scan the text message at least four times until it sinks into my brain.

 

_Beautiful singing voice._

 

I haven't had that as a compliment before, not ever about my songs or voice and definitely not about my appearance. With a tight throat and a sharp flutter in my heart, a cheeky grin twitches on my lips.

 

_"R u flirting with me, lad? ;) Don't make my head bigger than it is !"_

 

_**Marky:**  "Bet you're blushing ?????!"_

 

 _Bastard._ How does he know? Running a hand against my burning cheeks, I must be getting ill. All I've done since working at the shelter is become hot and sweaty, that's _not normal_.

 

————————————

 

**_Mark's POV_ **

 

The text messages have been going forward and backwards for the past hour and half. Laying on my fold out bed, the blanket is over my head and my mobile rests against my chest, the vibrations from the messages wake me up everytime I doze off. We haven't really spoken about anything in particular and I love that, mostly we've spoken about Gary's job and obsession with keyboards and my strange habits and which type of music we prefer. The vibration buzzes against my rib cage and my eyes immediately flicker open.

 

_**Gaz x:** "Hey, Mark. Can I ask u something ?"_

 

Suddenly my surroundings become a blur and my heart picks up in beats. Staring at the bright words inches away from my eyes, a million questions spin around in my head. A mixture of both excitement and fear swell in my heart. _"Course......anything, mate. :-)"_ I reply with shaky fingers. The next message takes longer than expected and the nerves continue to build. Placing my thumb into my mouth, my teeth scrap against my nail. It's not until after a ten minute wait, my mobile vibrates again.

 

_**Gaz x:** "Can u help me shift some boxes into my flat ? Dad put his back out and I can't do it alone. If u can't don't worry ! It would be nice to spend some time together other than being in the shelter. We can order a pizza and get a few beers in... :)"_

 

My heart sinks slightly. I _wasn't_ expecting that. But still, a smile reaches my face, did he just say that _he_ wants to spend time _together?_ Just the _two_ of us? Breathing a sigh of relief, there's still a hope in my mind. _"I'd love that Gaz......are you still wide awake? I'm drifting off so sorry if I go silent on you!!!"_

 

Shifting around on the uncomfortable bed, the frame continues to dig into my ribs. How people manage to sleep on these things, I'll never know. Hearing the mobile bleep, instead of the text notification, for some reason he's sent an attachment. Blinking my eyes, I click on the file. It takes a minute or two for it to load and I manage to read the caption before the photo appears.

 

_**Gaz x** :"If u can call this wide awake !!!!! I'll be like a fucking zombie in the morn ! I'm gonna get a few z's, cya tomoz !!!! Xx" _

 

The screen then fills with a photo. Not any kind of photo, but a photo of Gary. Suddenly I'm no longer tired, my eyes widen and my pants tighten at the sight. Gary's fluffy blonde hair is sticking out in all kinds of directions, he's wearing a tight black vest top which does wonders for his chest and muscular arms, it also manages to show a bit of his stomach which his shorts aren't covering. Staring at the image, I feel my crush increase. How can someone look so tired, yet look so god damn gorgeous?! What I wouldn't give to be laying next to him in that bed, letting my fingers stroke against those biceps, moving towards his stomach and the hem of his shorts...

This crush is becoming dangerous.

 

_Gary. Is. Not. Gay._

 

Hitting the right key, I don't hesitate when saving the photo. The crush will fade in time, I don't want to ruin our friendship, Gary makes my miserable life bearable. _"You look cute!! Sweet dreams Gaz. See you tomorrow..... :-) Xx"_   With that, I glance at the photo one last time, before pulling my knees up to my stomach and the mobile remains tightly gripped in my palm.

 

I'm certainly going to have sweet dreams tonight.

————————-

 

How the hell I've been able to keep a straight face after last night, I have no idea. Possibly for the first time whilst sleeping, I didn't suffer from any night terrors, but instead I dreamt about falling asleep in Gary's arms. Feeling his lips press against my temple and his steady heart, beat against my ear, I haven't had such a relaxing sleep in years.

 

_It all felt too real._

 

"Mark? You OK, mate?" A hand waves in front of my face, almost making me swallow my tongue. I must of been staring.

 

"Y...Yeah...sorry..." Adjusting myself on the chair, I nervously run a hand through my hair. _Pull you're together, Mark._

 

A concerned look approaches Gary face whilst he blows away the steam from his coffee cup. "This place sending you mental, eh?"

 

"Something like that..."

 

Tilting his head slightly, he looks me up and down, which only causes the nerves to rise and my cheeks to burn. "Hmm." Scratching his chin, he knocks back the remaining brown liquid from his cup. "...Fancy comin' to the bar with me later?"

 

"T...The...bar?"

 

"The one that I work at, that is."

 

 _Duh, yeah of course. "_ Erh...I haven't been out for a drink...since I was under age..."

 

"I'm not asking you to come ravin'!" Playfully Gary slaps my kneecap whilst giggling. "There's only ever old folk coming in there anyway. All I do is serve when needed and sing a song or two. I usually end up feeling about seventy odd when I leave that place, so your company would be much appreciated."

 

This isn't a date...is it? He wants me for my company, because he doesn't have anybody else? "Yeah, sure... but is your boss OK with having a tramp in his bar?"

 

Frowning his face, his eyebrows almost manage to touch one another. "Don't talk like that about yourself, Marky." Squeezing my kneecap with those dexterous fingers of his, his fingers alone cover my small knee. Uncontrollably, my tongue skims across my bottom lip at the sight and I have to hold back any type of moan. 

 

_Jesus, what's wrong with me?!_

 

"It'll be nice to have a drink with you, see how much of a light weight you are." He winks.

 

_That wink._

 

My heart almost breaks out of my chest. Why is he teasing me? Does he know he's even doing it? Then again, I guess he's not aware of my crush on him and probably thinks this is a friendly way to act. It's not. Well, to me it isn't.

 

"Can't wait..."

 

———————————

 

"Side fringe or quiff?" Standing in front of the staff room's mirror, I run the comb through my hair for the fiftieth time. I'm still not really talking to Mary, and no chance am I talking to Jason.

 

"I'm sure Gary will like it either way..." Softly Mary speaks, her eyes remain sad as she pushes out a smile. I'm acting childish I know, but I'm still upset over the whole argument.

 

"I'm not trying to impress Gary." I scoff. "I'm trying to look like a normal person and not some bum off the street. Gary's _not_ gay, remember?" Applying a large amount of hair spray onto my fringe, it bounces back into a quiff.

 

"Yeah...sorry..." Roughly she clears her throat. "Are you going to stay for the bible reading today? Jay's feeling better today..."

 

"No thanks. I'd rather not, thankfully Gary's on his way." Glancing at my phone, a new text has come through.

 

 _"see u in a few mins x"_  

 

Grinning at the message, my cheeks feel slightly flushed. "I better be going."

 

"Have a good time and be careful..." Standing up from her seat, she gives me a quick brush down and adjusts my red and white checkered scarf. "Does he know about-" Pointing to the thin material around my neck, I tie it tighter.

 

"No. No, he doesn't." Gritting my teeth at the thought of his reaction, my entire body tenses. "...Sorry...I...I need to go."

 

Nodding her head, she steps aside. "Let me know how you get on."

 

"Hmm, yeah." With that, I grab hold of my hat, before rushing out of the front doors. The cold air does wonders on my burning skin. "Why did she have to bring it up?" I question myself, feeling my mood drop. Apart from Mary and my parents, nobody else knows about my-

 

"Ayup." Suddenly a voice speaks and knocks me out of my daze. Gary is parked just meters away from where I'm standing. "You waiting for someone? Doesn't give you a good impression standing on a street corner with me chatting to you." Lightly he chuckles. Painting on a smile, I walk around to the other side of the car, before getting into the passengers side. "Wow...you look-"

 

"A state?"

 

"Oi! No...you look...incredible..." Eyeing me up and down, suddenly the car has turned into a sauna. Chewing on my bottom lip, I hold back my beaming smile.

 

Instead of returning the compliment, (although he's only wearing his work outfit, which is a tight black t shirt and equally as tight black jeans, I can't help but glance at his tensed arms as his hands are gripped to the steering wheel) quickly I wrap the seat belt around my body. "I...Is it far?"

 

My question snaps Gary's wondering eyes away from me and he focuses straight ahead. "Not by car it isn't, about ten, maybe fifteen minutes and its only a five minute walk from my house." Starting up the engine, he looks at me one last time. "Mate, are you OK? You seem a little..."

 

Sighing softly, I rest my hat onto my lap whilst forcing out a convincing smile. "I am...now I'm away from that place. Jason's been getting to me a bit, but I'm OK now, thanks for asking though."

 

"If he's causing you any problems I'll have-"

 

"Gaz." Cutting him off instantly, he runs his tongue across his bottom lip which causes an electric feeling to shoot down my spine. "...It's fine, honest. I don't want to hear about the shelter... I just want to be with you today, if that's OK?"

 

Immediately his face softens by my words and faintly he smiles. "We better go then."

 

————————-

 

Gary's just finished his second song of the day, well I mean he's just finished _covering_ his _second_ Elton John song of the day. The bar has begun to fill with customers, so quickly he rushes from his stool as soon as the music fades. Once the five new customers have been served and happily take their seats around the room, Gary makes his way back down to me. "I'm a bit of...er...an Elton fan." His cheeks blush slightly.

 

"I guessed that from the first time I met you, you were humming one of his songs..."

 

"Oh, jeez. Well, that's embarrassing." Bowing his head a little, he squeezes the towel in his hands.

 

Lifting myself up from the bar stool, gently I pat his shoulder. "Don't be embarrassed, you have talent. I much prefer your voice than Elton's, that's for sure. I was right, you do have a beautiful voice... "

 

Taking a step back, he holds his heart in an over dramatic way and he forces back a smile. "Are you actually saying someone is better than, Elton?! Oooh, you've got a lot to learn, my little butterfly."

 

_My..._

 

Playfully I roll my eyes, whilst sipping my white wine. "What time do you get off? My arse is killing on these stools."

 

"Ten minutes or so. Fancy some nuts?"

 

A smirk teases my lips by his question. "I love nuts. What kind of nuts do _you_ have, Gaz? Salted or dry roasted?"

 

Squeezing his eyes shut, he shakes his head. "That was lame, Marky. Go on, sit on the sofas and I'll bring you another drink and a _packet_ of nuts over." Jumping off the stool, I drain my glass. The pair of us share a final giggle before I disappear to the back of the room. Sitting now on the comfortable leather of one of the two sofas, I wait for Gary to join me.

 

_The date has only just begun._

 

———————————

 

These so called _ten minutes_ have been the longest minutes of my life. There's a dark haired male, a little younger looking than me, who's leaning against the bar opposite Gary. No way can he be served? He only looks about sixteen, at a push. Gary shakes his head and holds his hands up in defence, maybe he's here to make trouble. Adjusting myself, I continue to watch from afar. Taking Gary's hand in his own, he plants kisses against his fist and cheekily winks. Something snaps inside of my body. Jealousy? Anger? Who the hell is he?! Gary shakes his head one last time and finally the male decides to leave. Gary picks up the two glasses from the bar and walks into my direction. Turning my gaze away from his direction, I focus on a dying flower which sits in a small glass in the centre of the table. For some reason I feel...hurt? "Sorry that took too long."

 

Lowering my gaze, my fingers skim against the water droplets on my glass. "No worries. You're a busy man, didn't expect you to drop everything." I mutter under my breath. I shouldn't be feeling hurt or even angry, because Gary isn't gay and even _if_ he was, he's not dating me, so I shouldn't feel like this, but...I can't help it. Did he just say to me that he's not gay so he didn't hurt me? Was that boy his boyfriend? Then again, that boy didn't look like the type to let his boyfriend have a drink with a random stranger who has a crush on him.

 

"Uh? You alright, Markie?"

 

"I'm not as dumb as I look, Gaz. So if you're playing games with me, I'd rather you tell me now."

 

Gary's furrows his brows whilst taking the seat opposite me, he works his mouth but no sound is heard. "...I...have...have I upset you, Mark?"

 

"Is it because I'm ugly? No...I know. It's because I'm homeless, isn't it? I didn't think you were that shallow, Gary." Stumbling to my feet, before I get chance to reach for my hat which perches next to me on the sofa, Gary grabs hold of my hand, threading his fingers through mine. Even though his skin is warm against mine, it still causes me shudder. Staring down into his eyes, I feel mine begin to fill, which only makes him feel guilty.

 

"Please...please don't go? Talk to me, Mark. Tell me what's on your mind?" Breaking our gaze, I focus down at our hands , softly he strokes his thumb over the top of my knuckles. "...Please?" He presses and warmly smiles into my direction. Giving in with a deep sigh, I drop back into my seat, averting my eyes completely away from his. "Thank you..." Squeezing my hand, the contact is broken.

 

Sitting in silence for a few minutes, I finally crack. "...I know...that you know...and I feel..." Clearing my throat, I feel the scarf around my neck feel incredibly tight all of a sudden. "...I feel stupid. Jesus..." Rubbing my palm against my forehead, if my hands weren't so shaky I'd reach for my glass of wine and knock it back, but that would only show my nerves even more in front of Gary.

 

"Know what, mate?"

 

"Mary told you... about...about how I feel about you..." Mumbling out the last part, quickly I grab hold of my glass before taking a long deserved sip of the golden liquid. Am I really confessing that I have a crush on Gary? He's sitting just metres away from me and I can't even blame it on the drink. He blinks once, twice, then finally crosses his arms across his chest. "If you hate me...I understand."

 

"And why would I hate you?"

 

Shrugging my shoulders, I hook two fingers underneath my scarf, loosening it the best that I can away from my throat, but still I keep my neck hidden. "...Because I know you'll feel uncomfortable being _friends_ with me...and...and your boyfriend doesn't seem the type to let you hang around with me, not knowing that I have a crush on you...that is."

 

"Wait...did you just say... _boyfriend?!_ And...what gave you the idea that I have a boyfriend? Is it because I like Elton or something?"

 

Biting the tip of my tongue, the last part almost makes me laugh out loud, but I manage to hold it together. Maybe it's best I stop talking, but I'm already in too deep. "Erm...that...er...that boy...at the bar-"

 

"You mean Robbie? The boy who was there a few minutes ago?"

 

Playing with my fingers, my head bows. "...The one who was kissing your hand..."

 

Gary chuckles lightly and I breathe a sigh of relief. "That's Rob. The boy I told you about? The one who got me into trouble? He usually comes in here, but he's never got any cash to actually buy a drink. Don't take him serious, I don't even know how old he is, so that shows how close we are. We're far closer, Mark. Rob's the gayest straight man that you'll ever meet, but gosh is he a handful to be around. I don't want you mixing with people like that."

 

_We're far closer, Mark._

 

"Sorry, I just thought-"

 

"Will you stop apologising and over thinking?" Playfully he rolls his eyes whilst reaching for his glass and taking a gulp of it, before smacking his lips together. "I brought you 'ere to take your mind off things and to give you a good time. So please, knock that wine back and give me one of those lovely smiles of yours."

 

So what, are we just going to forget about my confession and humiliation? Gary's too kind, of course he doesn't want to knock me down, gay or not, I'm thankful for having someone like him in my life. "I'll drink to that." Holding up my glass, he knocks his against mine, whilst we attempt to down them in one.

 

—————————-

 

An hour later and it's the fifth time Gary's walked over to the bar to buy in yet another round of drinks. Once returning, he places down my glass of white wine and a larger glass for himself, which looks like it contains Coca - Cola. "You replaced the lagers and vodkas with soft drinks, eh?" Pointing to his glass, he almost trips over himself as he reaches for the sofa. It's pretty obvious that Gary's had _too_ much to drink already. Now who's the lightweight?! 

 

"Uh? Me? On soft drinks? That'll be the day, Marko. This...this 'ere is a _Jack..._ er...a _Jack..._ Christ, what's his name again?" Scratching his jawline, I hold back my giggles watching his eyes go into all kinds of directions. "...It's called somethin', wanna try some?"

 

"I think I better give it a miss this time...one of us need to be sober."

 

"Ooooh don't worry about that, Markiy. I can w...walk!" Loudly he hiccups and talks louder than the music playing in the background.

 

"Sssh..." People turn into our direction, making us feel like we're animals in a zoo, seeing all the eyes stare at us or should I say, _glaring_ at us. "We need to be setting off in a minute, the shelter shuts early, remember?"

 

"Hmm...alright...alright...party pooper." Lolling his head backwards, his eyes close whilst a stupid grin fills his face. How the hell am I going to get him home in this state? Draining the liquid from my glass, I've barely hit tipsy, unlike Gary who can't even keep his eyes open. Moving his full glass out of sight, gently I tap the top of his shoulder.

 

"Do you remember where you live? We need to get you home, mate."

 

"Umm..." Mumbling out random words, he finally gives me directions, correct or not, it's a start. "Three...three streets away...number forty eight." Nodding my head, I take hold of his arm, which he wraps around my neck, causing me instant discomfort, not because of his weight, but because of my insecurity. If he pulls my scarf off, God knows how either of us will react. Thankfully as we walk towards the front door, somehow he manages to snake his arm around my waist, making me feel at ease again. "D...Do you know...you're...you're erh...the fittest bloke in Manchester?"

 

Furiously my cheeks burn over his compliment. "Um, thanks...Gaz. Shame you have to wear your beer goggles to say that." I shouldn't take anything that he says serious, because its clear to see that he has no idea what he's actually saying. "Are working tomorrow? At the bar, that is."

 

"I'm...I'm always working. The dick head never gives me time off!"

 

"Gaz, sssh...he might hear you. You don't want to go losing your job."

 

Loudly he laughs against my ear, almost deafening me. Stopping dead in his tracks, he eyes up the building of the bar the best that he can. Pushing out his chest, suddenly he shouts out the words. "Nigel is the biggest wanker in Manches-"

 

"Gary!" Slapping my hand against his mouth, abruptly I cut off his speech, whilst practically dragging him up the streets. "As soon as you're home, you need to go to sleep, OK?"

 

"Yes Mum!" Pressing the side of his hand against his temple, he fails at saluting. "You know...when or if I ever become...um...gay...I'll go gay for you."

 

"When or if?" Rising my eyebrow, I can't help but laugh at that. I guess he hasn't heard the saying ' _being gay isn't a choice'._ Still, it's sweet...in some way.

 

"Wait...wait...this is my folks home." Stopping outside a huge looking house, which has differently sized bushes in the front garden, there's no grass in sight, but instead there's gravel. Eyeing up the number which is nailed above the letterbox, he isn't kidding. _Number 48._ At least we've made it home in one piece, he wasn't lying about the five minute walk to work. Glancing down at my watch, I silently remind myself that it's three minutes fast which means I've roughly got thirty minutes until the shelter closes, so if I run now I'll make it. I can't cope spending the night on the streets, not after last time.

 

"Well I bett-" A pair of arms tightly wrap around my waist and our bodies are pressed together. Gary nuzzles his nose against my scarf and inhales my scent. Freezing for a second, I don't hesitate when returning the hug. Patting his back lightly, I feel his heart pound against my chest. _I wish we could stay like this forever._ However, it's likely that he'll forget this when morning comes around.

 

"Thank you...so...so much for coming tonight, Marky. I love being around you." The flutters haven't left my body since the first time the pair of us spoke. He brings a spark and a brightness into my life, something I can't explain, something I've never witnessed before. It's almost like in those movies when people have their first kiss with the person they've been searching for their entire lives and the fireworks explode in the background. Gary brings me those fireworks. Pulling back from the hug minutes later, I'm forced back to reality. "Here..." Reaching into his back pocket, he still clings tightly to my frame, using me as his only support. Stuffing two crumpled up twenty pound notes into my hand, my mouth almost hits my knees. I haven't seen so much money in a while and I've certainly never held this much before. "Ring a taxi. No arguments and text me...when...er...you're safe."

 

"But Gary-"

 

"Ssssh..." Pressing his finger against my lips, again he hiccups, clumsily he drops against my chest, which nearly knocks the pair of us into the gravel. "I'm in charge, alright?"

 

 _In charge?_ Instead of questioning him on that, I decide not to argue. Tucking the money safely away, I thank him about fifty times. Suddenly our conversation is brought to an end, as a light inside the house behind us is turned on. Gary's house. "Oh er-"

 

"Shit. It's Dad. You...You can't be 'ere..." His eyes continue to roll and he tightly grips to my shoulders. We thank one another for the final time and just before I decide to leave, Gary lips are pressed against my face for at least three seconds. Not on my lips, not exactly, but close. Was he aiming for my lips? Has the drink caused him to miss?! A large grin appears on his face, before he rushes up the pathway. Swallowing hard, I back away from the house. Looking like a rabbit in headlights, my face burns from Gary's contact and I remain stunned whilst hiding behind the hedge which stands tall behind the pavement.

 

Did that really just happen? Gary kissed me? Do friends do that?

 

 

_Gary. Kissed. Me._


	6. Chapter 6

**Mark's POV**

 

Ever since the night out together, the kiss hasn't left my mind. A week had passed and today is the day I'm suppose to be meeting Gary to help him move into his new flat. Standing in front of the mirror, I dip my finger into the sudocrem, which is perched on the side of the sink. Breathing out a deep sigh as soon as the coldness makes contact with my skin, briefly I close my eyes whilst spreading it equally. Everytime I see myself without a scarf on, it sickens me. Ever since it happened, I've had trouble accepting the way that I am, only Mary and my parents have been able to see, I guess the _real me._ No one else has understood, no one else has accepted me...and I don't feel like losing Gary over something as petty as this. Once the cream has soaked into my skin as much as possible, I begin wrapping a thicker scarf around my neck, the days are getting colder and wearing a scarf is now an acceptable excuse. Before I get chance to finish, my mobile buzzes. I don't even need to check the ID of the person who is texting me, Gary is the only person who has my number. We've been texting one another non stop like always, the night out hasn't changed anything between us, or should I say the _kiss,_ but of course he didn't remember a thing.

 

_"Ready and waiting :) x"_

 

 _Wow._ Those twenty minutes flew by. Tucking the grey scarf underneath my black hoodie, I check myself once over before rushing towards the exit. Gary is parked in his usual space outside the shelter, seeing the back of his bleached blonde head brings a warmth to my heart. I swear everytime I see him, his hair gets lighter. Walking over towards the driver's side of the car, I bend down enough to disturb the drumming of his fingers against leather steering wheel, instantly we lock eye contact and his smile reflects mine. The sky begins to darken as the light blue fades away only to be replaced by the grey clouds, quickly I dash to the now open passenger side of the car. "Hiya...sorry I'm late." Shyly I smile as I slip down the chocolate coloured leather of the seat.

 

"Fashionably?" Furrowing a brow, happily he chuckles, which only causes me to blush like an idiot. "You look great, mate...like always." Patting the top of my knee, I manage to pull myself together enough to breathe out a weak laugh.

 

Tugging on my seat belt as soon as Gary starts up the engine, I notice four boxes stacked up on the back seat. "That's all you have?"

 

Pulling away from the shelter, Gary glances behind him. "Oh, no no. I have far more than that, but that's all I need...for now. I just want to get my most used things in there to start with. Mum and Dad are fine with keeping the rest in my room for the time being."

 

"Suppose you've packed your Elton posters, eh?" Cheekily I tease, which only rewards me with an eye roll.

 

"You spill my secret obsession, Marko and I've got a right mind to give you a good spankin'." The pair of us share a giggle, before winding down to relax to the soothing music playing on the radio during the drive.

 

—————————

 

It takes about forty five minutes until we finally arrive and it seems I must of dozed off for the last part of the journey. "Markie? Mate, are you awake?" Snapping my eyes open, softly I smile whilst carefully shifting around in my seat. "Ah, good lad." Blinking my eyes, trying to focus them, the rain pours from the sky and pounds against the windscreen.

 

"Have...Have I been asleep long? I'm awfully sorry...I've been er...having a few rough nights sleep."

 

"Only 'bout ten minutes or so. I don't think this bastard's gonna stop. Typical." Gary shakes his head, annoyed at the amount of water splashing against his windows.

 

"If we run we shouldn't get _too_ wet, the quicker we move the better."

 

"I don't think the boxes are _that_ heavy...if it took me fifteen minutes to load them into the car by meself, that means..." Pausing for a minute he mumbles whilst tapping his fingers together. "Erh...Seven and a half minutes? Right?"

 

Loudly I laugh at the serious look plastered on the male's face sitting beside me. "A singer, a songwriter, an Elton lover and now a mathematician? Wow, you certainly get around Gary Barlow!"

 

"Don't miss a thing do ya, butterfly?" Tilting his head into my direction, there's a smaller smile forming on his face now. Staring deep into my eyes, for the first time I'm able to focus on every inch of his face, which only causes a million thoughts to rush through my head, thoughts that should _never_ be spoken. I wish I could stroke his smooth shaven cheek, trailing them to his jawline and bottom lip, as his lips lightly peck against my finger tip. Gary would be such a fantastic lover...maybe even a fantastic lover maker. The pit of my stomach tingles at the thought, I wouldn't want to have meaningless sex with him, a quickie then it's over. _No_. I would want him to hold me in his arms after making love, tell me his plans in life and his fears. For him to completely open up to me and vice versa. I would want to wake up beside him every morning, to go on romantic walks to places we've never been, to talk about pointless things until early morning of the days, without doing that from a mobile phone. I just want...somebody who I can't and can _never_ have. I barely know the man and I have so many hopes and dreams...its pathetic, _I'm_ pathetic. "We better get a move on, it's not gonna end." A hoarse voice breaks the eye contact and breaks my dreams. Nodding my head, I unbuckle my seat belt, still feeling Gary's eyes burn onto every inch of my body. He's been acting strange lately and I wouldn't be surprised if I've freaked him out since admitting my petty crush on him.

 

———————————

 

"You're really unfit, Gaz." Dropping the final box into Gary's empty flat, after a few minutes, the blonde finally joins me. Looking sweaty, exhausted and drenched by the rain, he puffs out his red cheeks whilst dropping against the box once it makes contact with the floor.

 

"Why...Why on earth...did I take...the third floor when there was one for sale on the first...Christ." Running a hand through his dripping hair combined with sweat and water, it flicks up into all directions.

 

_But still looks incredibly sexy._

 

Snapping my mind away, I try to focus onto something else, anything other than Gary bloody Barlow and his soaked t shirt which clings tightly around his chest. "Nice...er...nice place this is, Gaz."

 

Shrugging his shoulders, he reaches into one of the still packed, slightly damp cardboard boxes. "It's a make do...for now."

 

"Until you're a multi millionaire who's travelling the world writing songs for a living?"

 

"'ey!" Winking, he stumbles back to his feet whilst rubbing a towel across his face. "It could happen."

 

"I know." Taking hold of a towel which he tosses into my direction, I force my eyes away from him. "...And _I_ believe _in_ _you."_

 

Drying the back of his neck with the pastel green towel, his movements slow by my words. "...That's...that's really sweet. Thanks mate." Feeling my throat tighten, my knees buckle at the sight of his beaming grin. Why are these thoughts suddenly creeping into my mind? I don't want to take advantage of Gary's generosity and kindness by ruining it with how I truly feel about him. I would _never_ take advantage of him, but he doesn't know that. "...Are you OK?" A hand squeezes my shoulder and my pupils dilate as I'm dragged back to reality.

 

"Um, er...w...what?"

 

"You...You look terribly pale, do you want a glass of water?" Gary's face is literally just inches away from mine, his hot breath blows against my left cheek. The worry on his face makes me weak and his hand continues to squeeze my shoulder. Poking the tip of my tongue out of my mouth, gently it runs across my bottom lip whilst focusing on Gary's mouth. Focusing on the lips, the exact lips which  _almost_ made contact with mine. I still question myself why exactly he did that. Since the night of the _kiss_ I haven't been the same, I haven't been able to sleep as much as I usually do, even if it wasn't much before, its almost becoming to staying awake all night and sleeping maybe three hours at the most. Since meeting Gary, since becoming closer and getting to know one another, I haven't been the same and it's messing with my head.

 

"I...I..." Clearing my throat, I bow my head in shame. He's a straight man and all I can think about is having him to myself. I'm an awful friend. "...I feel...kinda light headed...a glass of water would be great...thank you..." The words just fall from my mouth before I'm able to realise what I'm talking about. The older man nods and removes his hand from my body.

 

"Go and have a lay down on the bed, I haven't tried it out yet, but it looks much more comfortable than this ancient sofa they've left me!"

 

Blinking my eyes, the words absorb into my brain after a few seconds. "...A...Are you sure? It's only a dizzy head, it passes... it usually does."

 

Frowning his face, he rummages through another box which contains his clothes. "Yes I'm sure and here-" Pulling out a long white t shirt, it almost looks twice the size of Gary. "...Put this on, I know It's big but it's dry and comfortable. Don't want you getting a cold aswell. Leave your wet clothes out and I'll dry them on the radiator."

 

Holding the creased t shirt against my chest, faintly I smile. "Wow, I'm surprised the girls aren't lining up outside to have a date with you!"

 

Gary chuckles. "I might have a pretty attitude, but certainly not a pretty face." Giving my shoulder one last squeeze, he disappears into the kitchen.

 

Huffing gently, softly I mutter out the words. "You're gorgeous..."

 

——————————

 

"Fuck sake, work you damn thing!" 

 

"Mhmmm?" 

 

"Shit, sorry. Didn't mean to wake you." Lowering his voice, my body moves slightly against the mattress by the figure's movements. It's dark, but not pitch black. Holding the back of my hand against my eyelids, I notice a dull lamp flicker beside me. Gary sits next to where I'm laying, twisting the bulb into the lamp until it stops flickering. "Finally!" Silently he cheers himself, before pulling his knees up to his chest and settles against the headboard. 

 

"You should of..." Uncontrollably a yawn escapes my mouth. "...Woke me. What time is it?" Peering through my heavy feeling eyelids, I vaguely blink up at the blonde. He still manages to look good even through the bad lighting. His hair looks golden and his cheeks look a little flushed, he's even changed clothes, a black short sleeved t shirt and matching black shorts. Avoiding the view of his legs which are practically right next to my face, I keep focus on his face the best that I can. 

 

"Nah, don't be daft. You needed sleep...certainly worried me, lad." Arching his eyebrow, a concerned look reappears back onto his face like earlier. "Is this a frequent thing? Dizziness? Being light headed? Not being able to sleep?"

 

Gritting my teeth, softly I sigh whilst propping my head up against my fist and elbow. "It's fine, Gaz. Honest. Like I said...things have been on my mind...I've had trouble sleeping...it will pass, it always does." 

 

"I don't like the sound of that. Sleep is important...and you hardly ever eat so that doesn't help. Is there anything you want to talk about? You know, talking is the best medicine when you have things on your mind...bottling it up is no good at all." Squeezing my wrist, warmly he smiles. 

 

What exactly can I say to that? ' _The reason I'm this way, the reason I can't sleep is because you kissed me after I told you about me having a crush on you? '_  It was a mistake and I know already that is exactly what he'll say to me. I can't risk losing him, not after how close we've become, I haven't been this happy in years, I'm not about to let that disappear. Staring up on him, suddenly my eyes focus away from his face and towards the metal shining on his wrist. "Oh...oh no...shit, shit!" Jumping up in the bed, Gary almost tumbles off. 

 

"Woah? Mate, what's wrong?" 

 

"No, no, no, no! Please tell me your watch is wrong?!" Crawling on my hands and knees, I go in search of my clothes. 

 

He glances at his watch. "It's ten thirty? What's the problem?" 

 

Tears prick in my eyes and sickness builds in my stomach. "No, please. It can't be! Why didn't my phone alarm go off?!" 

 

"Er...because I turned it off?" 

 

Snapping my head around, my eyes widen. "You what?! Why on earth did you do that?!" My voice raises and shakes. 

 

"You looked ill, you needed to sleep." Confusion just continues to spread on Gary's face. 

 

"I'm going to be worse now aren't I?! You don't understand...you just don't understand, Gary!" 

 

Shaking his head, he stands back to his feet. "Then tell me? What on earth is going on, Mark?!" Gently placing his hands onto my face, softly his thumb strokes against my cheek and I feel like bursting into tears. "...Make me understand...tell me what's going off in that head of yours..." A tear escapes my eye which Gary's thumb immediately catches and brushes away. Right now is the perfect opportunity to admit my true feelings, find out whether or not I have a chance to be with him, to know how he truly feels about me. Staring into those glowing green eyes, only manages to make things ten times worse. How can someone be so lovely, so sweet and so gorgeous, be so caring about _me_  ? 

 

"The shelter...it closed...it closed at eight tonight...and I fuckin' slept for three hours! The thought of sleeping on the streets...it...it just-"

 

"Hey." Pressing his finger against my lips, he silences me. Keeping it there only causes my head to swirl. Right now I could peck my lips against it, confess all and who knows where it'd take us? "You're not going anywhere. I know what time the shelter closes...I work there, remember? You're staying 'ere tonight...you're going to have something to eat, then get a good night's rest." Removing his finger away from my lips, his hands remain pressed delicately against my face. "I don't want you ill, Mark. And no, before you ask, this isn't a charity case...it's because _I_ care about _you_."

 

_'I care about you'_

 

More and more tears slip past my eyelids. Did he actually just say he cares about me? Someone actually cares about me for once? "I...um..." Wiping my eyes, Gary helps my back to my feet. Eyeing up my scarf in the process. 

 

"You're not going to be comfortable sleeping with that around your neck, you know? No wonder you can't get a decent nights sleep. I know you're trying to hide something...we all have our scars and regrets...I mean look 'ere." Pressing his index fingertip against his cheek, it shows a part of his skin which has turned golden and shines under the light, different to the rest of his skin. I must admit, I have noticed it from time to time, but its nothing big or jaw dropping. "...I was showing off once with a knife, ending up almost slicing me soddin' face off." Stroking my finger against his cheek, its basically nothing compared to mine, it doesn't make me feel sick when touching it and his skin is still perfect. Noticing the sadness show back onto my face, he takes my arm and walks me towards the edge of the bed, encouraging me to take the space beside him as he sits. My legs feel stiff and my fingers stroke against the over sized material, which is still wrapped around my neck."You know you can talk to me, right?" Holding loosely to my wrist as soon as I sit onto the springy mattress, he tilts his head onto one side, watching as the tears drip off from my face. Gripping my bottom lip in between my teeth, I feel incredibly embarrassed for crying in front of Gary. Since when did I become so weak? I _hate_ showing my weak and vulnerable side, it just makes it easier for them to kick me down. My body shakes, but Gary doesn't let go, letting his fingers stroke against my wrist and then moving towards my hands, he laces his fingers through mine. His eyes drift away from our hands, even though my head is still bowed, I feel his eyes looking over my body. "...Was...was you in some kind of accident, mate?" 

 

Even hearing _that_ word still manages to cause my body to tense. Squeezing my hands in his, he continues to try and relax me. "...Y...Yeah..." Inaudibly I croak out the simple word.

 

_There's no going back now._

 

We sit together in silence for a further five minutes, until I decide to speak. If I don't confess now, it's only going to hurt even more when he finds out later on in the friendship, which will possibly hurt ten times more when losing him. "...I...I er...was ten..." Dryly I swallow, feeling my chest tighten and my muscles tense. Gary removes one of his hands from mine and gently places it onto my back, gently moving his palm into a circular motion. "And...I don't...want to go into detail...it makes me feel...sick. The nightmares are bad enough...s...sorry...it's hard to talk about is this." Forcing out a nervous laugh, my hands become sweaty against the blonde's. 

 

"It's OK...I'm here..." Calming he whispers, making me feel comfortable and safe to be around him. 

 

"I...I...I was victim...and survivor in a fire...it wasn't accidental, but I wasn't the target...I just..." Taking a shaky breath, I feel Gary's grip increase. "...I was just there...at the wrong place...and the wrong time...and I'm never going to get accepted since..."

 

"Oh...gosh, Mark." Dropping his head delicately against mine, deeply he sighs. "You were...so young? I couldn't imagine what you went through...how scared you were-" 

"I...I still am...pathetic, eh?"

 

"No. No, far from pathetic, Mark. What do you mean...accepted?" 

 

Puffing out my cheeks, I shake my head. "I...Is it OK...if we talk about this another time? I really...don't want to have the night terrors tonight...not whilst I'm in your house. Can...Can we forget about this conversation?" 

 

Nodding his head, he removes his hands from mine. "Of course...of course, Mark." A pale look washes over his face and I'm not sure whether that's because he's picturing what I _really_ look like or whether he's judging me, silently calling me a freak, he wouldn't be the first and he certainly won't be the last. "Just so you know...I'm always, _always_ here for when you want a chat? Don't take it all on by yourself, OK?" 

 

"Thanks...G...Gaz. It means a lot...I appreciate it...I really do..." My lips twitch into a faint smile. Softly Gary hums and pulls me closer, running his hand up and down my back, slowly. My chin is forced to rest into the crook of his neck and my arms wrap around him as tight as possible, using him as my only support as my body turns incredibly weak. Pulling back, only slightly, I notice that his eyes are firmly closed and a smile is present. Suddenly all of my fears vanish in an instant, I haven't felt comfort like this since I was a child. And it's clear to see that he's enjoying this hug more than what I am. Closing my eyes, I inhale his scent, nuzzling my nose against the side of his neck, his chest vibrates against mine, as he silently laughs. Repeating my actions I decide to do it again and again, until my lips accidentally make contact with his skin and he quietly moans.

 

Gary. Moaned.

 

The husky moan causes my pants to tighten at the weak sound, Gary instantly breaks the contact and clears his throat. 

 

"Erm..." Nervously he runs a hand through is hair and his cheeks glow a brighter pink. "...I erm...dinner...yeah...your dinner." Painting on a smile, he looks a right state, but in a good way. Acting like a bag of nerves his words just splutter out of his mouth.

 

_He's cute when he's nervous._

 

"What are we having, chef?" Trying to help his nerves, I sit back against the headboard, licking my lips and rubbing my stomach. 

 

"Nothing impressive...just somethin' that you bung in the microwave, I promise to make an effort the next time you're here." 

 

_Next time._

 

 _"Anything_ is better than that slop at the shelter, trust me." 

 

Gary grins and runs his palm across his slightly damp, but burning forehead, before walking out of the bedroom to sort out the dinner.

 

\------------------------

 

"I think I'm gonna pop!" Dropping my head back against the headboard, my mouth hangs open. The debate over the microwave meals were simple, I hate spicy food and Gary loves Indians, so he ended up with the c _hicken tikka,_ whereas I had the  _spaghetti bolognese_. Gathering the empty plastic bowels and silverware together, immediately I sit upright, taking my empty dish from him. 

 

"You alright?" 

 

"Yeah...allow me." Softly I smile, removing everything from Gary's grip, he shakes his head and chuckles. 

 

"Oh no, don't bother messing around with them 'til morning."

 

"But I thought you-" 

 

Quickly he moves everything onto the wooden flooring at the foot of the double bed, and bats away any crumbs and rice from the sheets. "I need to make my bed up, on the sofa." 

 

My eyes widen and my heart sinks. "...This is your place...and _your_   bed, I'll take the sofa. Anything will be comfier than that metal rack I currently sleep on every night." 

 

The older man raises his hand into my direction. "You're the guest and you need a good night's sleep, so no arguments." 

 

Rolling my eyes, I tuck my arms underneath my legs. "You certainly wear the pants in this friendship, huh?" 

 

"Like an old married couple, me and you." He jokes, whilst packing away his last pair of briefs into the Chester draws which sit at the foot of the bed. "...But let's get on thing straight...I'm the husband." He winks and barks out a laugh.

 

 _You can be anything you want to be, just so as long as we're together_.

 

"Sweet dreams, butterfly." 

 

"Night, Gaz." 

 

\------------------------

 

"Ugh." Grunting in my sleep, I continue to toss and turn in the spacious bed. Too many thoughts are floating around my head, keeping my brain awake by the constant over thinking, but for the first time, it isn't due to the night terrors. I still can't believe I had enough courage to actually confess part of the story which has ruined my life and not once did Gary throw up, then again he hasn't actually _seen_ anything, thankfully.

 

Sitting up in the bed, I peer around in the darkness whilst rubbing my throat. Maybe a glass of water will help. Sliding out of the bed, I stretch out my muscles and release a yawn, before shuffling along the floorboards. The light in the hallway is far brighter than the lamp in the bedroom. Squinting my eyes, I tip toe towards the kitchen, but along the way, I'm distracted. The living door is ajar and the street lamps shine through the bare window, he hasn't had time to hang up any curtains or blinds. Immediately my eyes are drawn to the outline of the figure laying on the sofa, eyes screwed shut, duvet up to his neck and the tip of his thumb resting against his partly open mouth. Leaning my head against the door frame of the living room, silently I sigh whilst listening to the faint snores which create a soothing sound. It's the first time I've seen Gary asleep and all I want to do is join him. Bowing my head, I feel the disappointment begin to build inside of me once again. Breaking my gaze, I walk into the kitchen in search for a glass of water, maybe after today it's best if I find another shelter to live at for the time being, I can't handle these thoughts anymore, it's going to destroy everything.

 

The kitchen is much darker than any other place in the flat, using my hand to search for the light switch, it feels like I'm blind. "Ah ha." Mumbling under my breath once I reach the light switch underneath the cupboard, it fails to work. Shaking my head in annoyance, I manage to take a wrong footing, knocking something onto the floor with a loud _thud._ My hands instantly slap over my lips in surprise. "Shit." I hiss. 

 

"M...Mark...? That you?" A voice calls out inches away from where I'm standing. My heart rate rapidly beats against my chest, almost as if it's trying to break free. If I could find my way back out of here, I would leg it back into bed and hide under the covers, but that's not going to happen. Shakily I remove my fingers from my lips, if I don't reply he will probably think I'm a burglar and probably lamp me one.

 

"E...er...y...yeah...I...I'm looking for a glass...so I can have some water..." Dryly I swallow. Skimming my fingers against the dampness on my forehead, suddenly everything has gone silent, maybe he's fallen back to sleep? Well I hope so. Edging out of the kitchen as slowly as possible, a finger is pressed against my spine, causing me to loudly yelp. My hand slaps over my neck, hiding away my scars and my eyes widen. 

 

"There's no bulb, forgot to say." The figure yawns, blinking my eyes up at him, my mouth almost drops to my knees. Having the street lights and moonlight as my only source of lighting, my boxers tighten at the sight. There standing in front of me is Gary, wearing nothing but a pair of extremely tight briefs. If the lighting was better I would certainly see a lot of detail and in some way I'm thankful that I can't hardly see anything other than his shirtless torso, I can't be sporting a hard on in front of him. "Erh...glasses." Scratching his chin, his eyes are red and still half closed. My back hits against the work surface as he reaches above my head into the highest cupboard. Our torsos are pressed together, closing the thin gap inbetween our bodies. Breathing faster I feel Gary's hard stomach brushing up against my over sized t shirt whilst he searches through the cupboard, closing my eyes I try to focus on anything else around me, because if I don't then I'm fucked. Thankfully it ends within seconds, Gary pulls his weight away from my body and my eyes snap back open. "Here you go, mate. If you need...-" Yawning again, I feel my cheeks continue to glow whilst I stare at his broad chest. "...Owt else, gimmie a call..." Lightly smiling, his palm slaps over the top of my shoulder and gives it a firm squeeze.

 

Swallowing down a moan, my hand remains pressed against my neck. "Uh...uh...huh...thanks." Tiredly he nods his head and winks, before walking out of the kitchen. Puffing out my cheeks, I wait until he's fully out of sight until I remove my hand away from my neck. As soon as the door closes, my hand jumps to the front of my boxers, squeezing my hardening cock, I drop my head backwards against the cupboards.

 

_What the fuck has just happened?!_

 

Filling the glass quarter of the way, swiftly I knock it back. Thinking of Gary's body, thinking of Gary being pressed up against me wearing practically nothing, drives me insane. Feeling my erection continue to grow and strain against the tight material, neatly I place the now empty glass onto the drainer, before sprinting back into the bedroom. Groping myself through the restricting material, my fist is forced between my teeth to silence the moans the best that it can. This is killing me, is he doing this on purpose?! "Oooh..." Snaking my hand into my boxers, I guide my limp body back onto the bed. That body. Even though I could barely see, it's enough to please me...for now.

 

Laying flat onto the bed, I kick away my boxers into the duvet, allowing my erection to spring free. "Get a grip, Mark." Scolding myself, a fist forms around my aching dick. It's been so long since I last touched myself and here I am pleasuring myself over Gary's shirtless body. Pumping my fist against myself, tightly I close my eyes, allowing the fantasies to begin. The thought of Gary's torso pressing against mine is almost enough to send me over the edge. If only we both were naked, no boxers, no t shirts, just plain skin on skin. Those enormous hands of his running down my back until they reach the bottom of my spine, cupping my ass and giving me a firm squeeze, possibly giving me a hard slap on each cheek just to hear me moan. Is Gary rough in bed or a passionate lover? Either way, I'd enjoy it.

 

Curling my toes, my fist increases and my teeth dig into the bottom of my lip, silencing my groans the best that I can, the warmth grows in the pit of my stomach. I've never masturbated over a friend before and definitely not over _that_ friend who is just feet away from where I am. Arching my back, my thoughts continue to drift off, forcing the back of my head into the pillows, I picture Gary at the foot of the bed. 

 

 _Crawling on all fours up to where I am, his fingers skim across my bare thighs and tickle the light hairs around my navel with his free hand. The look of lust growing in his eyes, sending me closer and closer until he carefully wraps his hand around my throbbing cock, never taking his eyes away from my shivering body. "G...Gary..." Softly I whisper out, feeling the heat escape from his parted lips, allowing it to make contact with my slightly damp tip. In an instant he knows what sends me crazy and before it gets too much, he_ engulfs the tip _, circling his tongue and letting the pre come dance along his taste buds. "Mmm...oh yeah..." Grunting louder, he smirks and takes me further and further until I'm resting against the back of his throat._

 

_"Like that...?"  He asks as I slide out of his mouth and back into his fist. Licking his bottom lip, his fist continues to pump whilst he waits for an answer._

 

_"M...More...I need more..." My hips automatically buck forwards, making me look desperate for Gary to help me release. "...I've...I've been needing this for so long..."_

 

_"Me too..." Calmly he whispers, but before I get chance to question, he takes me suddenly back into his mouth and bobs his head into a rhythmic pattern. Increasing the speed rapidly, my eyes roll to the back of my head, as my hand grabs a fist full of the bed sheets._

 

_"S...So...so close...I'm...Oh fuckin' hell..." Thrusting my hips, my cock continues to hit the back of Gary's throat, testing out of his gag reflexes. He's far more skilled than I thought he ever would be. Has he done this before? It suddenly didn't matter as a finger is inserted inside of me, breaking through the tight layer of muscle._ _"Ohh...G...Gary...I..." I must look a right state, but I've never felt this way before. Gary adds another finger, widening me the best that he can and that's all I can take. Without warning I release my load, seeing Gary swallow the most that he can, the rest drips down his chin and bare chest. Seeing the sight in front of me causing me to double over, releasing for the second time just minutes after the first._

 

"Ga-" Sitting bolt upright in the bedroom, my eyes widen and my body continues to shake from my orgasm.

 

I'm alone.

 

Panting for my breath back, I notice the sticky thick mess on stomach and in my palm. I imagined the whole thing. Dropping back onto the mattress, the cool sheets comfort my burning body. What have I become? I just wanked over the thought of being sucked off by my friend, not any friend, but _Gary._ My knees press against my torso, whilst I turn onto my right hand side. How am I going to look him in the eyes again after this?! 

 


	7. Chapter 7

_**Mark's POV** _

 

The sound of faint whistling manages to disturb me from my sleep. Rolling over in the spacious bed with a grunt, I glance over at my phone's home screen. It's six - thirty in the morning. Rubbing the back of my hand against each one of my eyelids, the thoughts come flooding back into my mind from last night, filling my head with the images. Before I get time to vision everything all over again, the bedroom door bursts open. "Shi-" Dragging the duvet over my head, my heart pounds against my chest. 

 

"Oh, sorry Mark!" A voice speaks, sounding incredibly guilty. Pulling back the duvet slightly, I peer into the direction of the door frame. Gary sucks his bottom lip and weakly smiles into my direction. 

 

"N...no, no it's fine. I er...forgot where I was for a sec." 

 

Gary nods and places a few shirts into the wardrobe. "How did you sleep?"

 

"Yeah...yeah...great, thanks. This bed is rather comfortable." 

 

"You think so?" Placing the final shirt onto the hanger, he spins on his heels. "Suppose that sounds good for a freebie." Giving me a toothy grin, thoughts of being pushed against the work surface by a shirtless Gary Barlow grows back into my mind. "Too hot, eh?" 

 

Shaking my head, I blink my eyes. Even though I slept well after my orgasm last night, I could do with an extra hour or two of sleep. "Huh?" 

 

Gary walks over towards the empty side of the bed, pulling out my boxers from the duvet. "Guessing these are yours?" Lightly he chuckles whilst holding onto my boxers. Immediately my cheeks glow at the sight.

 

 _Fuck sake_.

 

"It's fine, mate. No need to be embarrassed. I sleep in the nude quite a lot actually, very rarely I sleep in me clothes, unless guests are over." Winking at me, it doesn't help in the slightest. Gary sleeps naked? Why on earth would he tell me _that?!_ Breathing out a deep breath, I hold tightly to the duvet, feeling incredibly heated. 

 

"Is...Is it OK, if I take a quick shower?"

 

"Oh yeah, course you can. Erh...there's a couple of towels in there and body wash. Please use as much as you want, I'm loaded with the bloody things. I swear me whole family thinks that I stink, it's all I ever get for Christmas." Playfully he rolls his eyes. 

 

"Cheers, Gaz." 

 

\-----------------

 

 ** _Gary's POV_**  

 

Unloading the groceries into the fridge and cupboards, I stretch out my back as soon as the task is complete. It's strange having to do the everyday chores by myself, when I was at home I never really needed to do it. Even though I'm in my early twenties, I was still treated like a child, but the independence is something that I craved. It's been roughly an hour since I last spoke Mark, when he asked to use the shower and time is ticking. I haven't even started breakfast and I'm going to have to get ready soon so I can start work at the shelter, he must of finished by now. Listening carefully, there's no water running and the bathroom door is slightly ajar. I guess I better tidy it up and then start on breakfast. Rolling the plastic bags into one another, I neatly place them into the bottom cupboard, before walking over towards the bathroom door. Using my palm, I push it open and it releases a sharp creak. Stepping inside, instantly I become frozen to the spot. 

 

"Oh no! Gary no, no!" Mark yelps and grabs hold of himself trying the best that he can to hide his naked body or should I say, his hands cup over his private parts. For a second or two, I zone out at the figure standing just inches away from me. My heart throbs in my chest at the sight of Mark's eyes widening in fear and embarrassment. Licking my lips once over, I avert my eyes away from his naked slim frame seconds later.

 

"I...I erm...s...sorry...I...I didn't realise. Sorry." Hoarsely I speak before closing the door. As soon as the door is closed, I feel my heart violently thump against my chest. Pressing a hand against my suddenly burning forehead, I drop my back against the closed door. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. My eyes close for a brief moment and still the image of Mark's body is clear in my mind. That was possibly the first time I've ever seen a man naked in front of me, well maybe I've seen Robbie naked once or twice, but I've never looked at him the way that I did Mark. It was only a quick glance, but it felt like time had stood still. I even eyed him up his dick. I stared at Mark's dick like it was the first time that I had ever seen one, for some reason it made me feel...excited?

 

 _J_ _esus_.

 

Trying to take my mind off of things, I decide to start breakfast. 

 

\---------------

 

Slicing the bread into halves, I place the two plates onto the kitchen table. Turning around to reach for the orange juice from the fridge, awkwardly Mark stands at the doorway with a small smile on his face. "Hey..." Softly I smile whilst pouring the juice into two glasses. "I...erh...I made us bacon sandwiches." 

 

"Great...thanks, Gaz." Taking a seat at the table, I hand him a glass of orange juice. "I'm starving..." Sitting opposite him, I reach for the ketchup and he reaches for the brown sauce. Catching eye contact with him very briefly, he focuses on the sandwiches on his plate. 

 

"Mark...listen...about earlier...erm...I...I didn't kn-"

 

"It's fine." Cutting me off, he forces out a smile, which isn't convincing in the slightest. "You...er...didn't...see much...did you?" 

 

Thinking about what exactly I can say without making him feel too uncomfortable, I shake my head. "N...no." Clearing my throat, I lie through my teeth. "...I wasn't gawping at you, don't worry." _I was_. Sinking my teeth into the bread, Mark breathes out a sigh of relief. 

 

"Good...good..." Still the tension in the room remains thick. Taking a small bite out of his sandwich, he still avoids eye contact with me, either because he still feels embarrassed or he knows I'm lying and feels uncomfortable that I was staring at him. 

 

"...I'm at the shelter today, want me to drop you off too?" 

 

Finally looking up at me, lightly he smiles. "Please, if you don't mind?" 

 

"Course not. Do you have any plans today? Mary mentioned that you usually go for walks and stuff, but I guess I've stopped that, claiming your time for myself." I smirk. 

 

"Well first things first, I better get changed, otherwise I'll be labelled as a dirty stop out." He chuckles and the tension abruptly drops.

 

"You should feel honoured. I even ironed your gear and I _never_ iron!"

 

"Well..." Chewing on his bacon, he wipes his mouth onto a piece of tissue which is used for a make do napkin.  "You better get used to it, Mr Barlow. I've got a sack of dirty clothes back at the shelter which needs washing and ironing, they need a Gary touch!" 

 

 _"A Gary touch."_ Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. "You're barmy, lad." The pair of us share a laugh and previous moments disappear from our minds.

 

\------------------

 

**_Mark's POV_ **

 

The first ten minutes of the drive is quiet. _Too_ quiet in fact, only making me over think the bathroom situation again. "Oooh...I use to love this song! What a tune!" Gary turns up the radio, plucking me away from my thoughts by his singing. " _You better shape up, cause I need a man and my heart is set on yoooou!_ " Pointing at me, my cheeks burn and loudly I giggle over the fact he knows the song word for word. " _You're the one that I want, oo-oo-oo!_ Take it away Markie!" 

 

"Oh no, no." Holding my hands up in defense, I sit back and enjoy Gary's singing. He's incredible, even if he's only being playful, I could happily sit and listen to him singing cheesy songs all day. Once the song comes to an end, for some reason I blurt out something I never expected I would say. "I use to do some singing...years ago." 

 

Gary raises his eyebrows and turns down the news reporter on the radio. "You did? Really?" 

 

"Yeah...hard to believe I know. I wasn't any good, but my parents thought I was, guess the school did too." Clearing my throat, I shift in my seat, catching the look of interest in Gary's eyes, it feels good to see. "...I was asked, well I  _forced_ to join the school choir instead of the football team, but at least I enjoyed it."

 

"Did you do solos?"

 

Merely I shake my head in response. "No. Not really. I did more of a band thing, four or five of us would do a few songs in the playground and at talent shows, but when I was alone I would do my own stuff...but not covers, I didn't enjoy singing covers when I was alone." 

 

"So...you wrote your own stuff?!" Gary's voice almost squeaks and his eyes light up, softly I giggle over his reaction. 

 

"Yeah...I did, nothing interesting, I guess if I saw something through the day which caught my attention, I'd write it down and work around it, not really the lovey - dovey things, because...I didn't really understand the whole _love_ thing."

 

"What do you mean?" 

 

Running my tongue lazily over my lips, I pause for a moment. _Good question_. "I guess...I guess I didn't really find the right person at the time, I didn't want to use false emotions...I was waiting to find the person who made me feel those emotions so I could let my words flow and I could wear my heart on my sleeve." 

 

The blonde looks into my direction and a serious look grows on his face. "Have you found those emotions since?" 

 

"I...erh..." Searching for the right words, my jaw stiffens. "Um...Jason?" Gary almost chokes by my words until he sees my eyes setting onto the figure standing beside the shelter. Jason glares into our direction, whilst Gary parks the car. Already I know he's going to assume things, then again anyone would. "Here we go..." 

 

"You never told me what exactly happened between you, Mary and Jason?" 

 

Unbuckling my seat belt, deeply I sigh. "I'll explain over lunch? Fancy meeting me on the field about one?" 

 

"Yeah, sure." 

 

"I better get changed, thanks for last night and the ride here, Gaz." Quickly we embrace and Jason locks eyes onto mine during the hug. Pulling back seconds later, I open the door and head inside. 

 

\--------------

 

**_Gary's POV_ **

 

Today is really the first day at the shelter where I've barely spent any time with Mark. Apart from the morning together, the drive here and a few glances during the day, it feels like we're seeing one another for the first time. I miss his company, I just... miss _him_. Washing the cutlery in the kitchen sink, I wipe the sweat away from my forehead. Looking out of the corner of my eye through the small window which is fixed above the sink, I watch as Mark sorts through his bag of dirty clothes and it isn't long until he's interrupted. Jason appears with his hands on his hips and his eyebrows furrowed. Sadly I can't lip read, but instantly I know it's turning into a heated argument. Mark stumbles to his feet, dropping the clothing from his hands and forcefully shoves his palms against Jason's chest, the taller man barely stumbles, but pushes back, tugging at Mark's scarf.

 

Dropping a plate into the sink, it smashes instantly and slices my fingertips, but the pain doesn't register. Mark's eyes widen as he tightly holds the scarf against his neck and runs off, my blood boils over the sight. Glancing down into the sink, I notice that the water has turned red from my cuts, but right now I couldn't care less. Wrapping a large amount of kitchen roll around my hand, I march out of the kitchen. My stomach churns the closer I get to where Jason is crouching, carelessly he throws Mark's clothing back into the black sack. For some reason I feel protective of Mark, well of course I should feel that way, he is my _friend_ after all and no one has the right to upset him like that.

 

Clearing my throat, it feels like my feet have become stuck to the floor now I'm stood inches away from him. "J...Jason." 

 

Lifting his head, he squints his eyes. "Alright, Gary?" 

 

"No. Not really." It's too late to back away now, I want this sorting and ending, _today._ Whatever problems Jason has with Mark, I want them to stop. "Can I...erh...have word. In private?" 

 

"Can it wait? I'm kinda bu-"

 

"It can't." Removing my damp apron, it rests over the back of Mark's chair.

 

Nodding his head, heavily he sighs. "Right...come to the staff room." Waiting for him to lead the way, I stick the hand which has the blood soaked tissue paper wrapped around it, into my tracksuit pocket. Following Jason into the small room, I feel my heart pound against my chest. Pointing his finger to the chair which is opposite his desk, nervously I perch onto the edge of the seat. Cupping his hands together, his eyes burn into mine. No wonder Mark always acts so strange when he's around. "So, what's the problem?"Licking my lips once over, I take a deep breath whilst trying to gain as much confidence as possible. 

 

"Mark." 

 

Knitting his brows together, he shakes his head. "Mark's the problem? That isn't the first, what's he done this time?" 

 

"N...No. It's not what _he's_ done, it's...it's how _you_ treat _him_. I want it to stop." If looks could kill, I'd be burning alive in hell right now, possibly with Jason digging in the pitchfork. 

 

"...The way that I treat, Mark?" He smirks, which only causes the anger to seep back into my body. 

 

"I saw you, just now. And it isn't just the first time either, a few days back he told me that you and Mary did something to upset him, but he hasn't got around to tell me exactly what and if it doesn't stop I'll take matters into my own hands." Raising his eyebrows, the smug look remains. 

 

"Are you threatening me, Gary?" 

 

"Are you taunting me...Jason?" Crossing my arms across my chest, I ignore the visible blood dripping onto my shirt. 

 

"Listen, I haven't time for your's and your boyfriend's games-"

 

"Yeah that's right, you have a bible class to organise. Filling people's heads with false hope! And Mark _isn't_ my boyfriend, is it such a crime to speak to the same sex without having sex with them?!" 

 

"Please, spare me the details. The fact that the pair of you are constantly attached at the hip, staying over at your flat and then coming back here for the free roof and food? You're not going to make a mug out of us." 

 

Slamming my fist onto the desk, Jason yelps and flinches. "Listen here." My teeth sink into my bottom lip and it wouldn't surprise me if bursts. "...If I hear that Mark has been upset by the likes of you one more time, this conversation wont be as gentle next time, OK?" Rolling his eyes, he huffs under his breath. "Good." Standing to my feet, I don't take one look back, instead I happily walk out of the room with my head held high.

 

_That felt good._

 

 ---------------

 

Me and Mark didn't spend lunch time together, he brushed me off which is understandable. He looked awful, so he decided to have a few hours worth of sleep instead. "Ugh, that Jason sounds like a right cock." 

 

"You don't know the half of it, Rob." Swirling the remaining liquid around my glass, I knock it back. 

 

"You really care about, Mark...don't ya?"

 

Reaching for the bottle of vodka from underneath the table, lightly I nod. "Yeah...yeah I do." It's not everyday I hide in the staff room at work on my day off, especially not with an under aged friend and a bottle of vodka talking about feelings and random shit. "Why do you ask?" 

 

"Because this is the forth time in thirty minutes where you've spoken about him."

 

"No I never?...Have I...?"

 

 Laughing softly, the younger man taps my shoulder. "It's fine though. If you like him...you like him."

 

Rolling my eyes, I pour a generous amount of alcohol into my glass. "What are suggesting?" 

 

Shrugging his shoulders, he removes the bottle from my grip and takes a gulp of the neat vodka and hisses loudly at the taste. Speaking in a hoarse tone by the burning feeling at the back of his throat from the alcohol, he comes to a conclusion. "...You like him, don't you? Like, like him." 

 

"Come on, Rob. This isn't pre school." 

 

"I know, and that's why you shouldn't continue to beat around the bush." 

 

"I'm not...I'm not gay." 

 

Nodding his head, faintly Robbie smiles. "Then explain what happened when you saw him naked. Does a straight guy feel excited when seeing another man's dick?" 

 

"You...you said you wouldn't judge me over that. It was the first time I saw another guy like that, can you blame me? My emotions they were...just confused." 

 

"Well I've seen you naked and I haven't had that feeling, _ever_." 

 

"But you're not me...and you're not like Mark and neither am I. I mean, his body it's just..." Sitting back in my chair, slowly my eyes close whilst a smile uncontrollably fills my face. Picturing Mark in my mind, the image causes my heart to race. "...His body is incredible...nicely tanned, maybe a little skinny, but if he had to, he could easily kick your arse into gear." Still smiling, I peer through my eyelids, noticing that Robbie's giving me a certain look, a _look_ which I can't describe but I know exactly what it means. Suddenly it hits me seconds later why he's looking at me that way. Am I really enjoying the image of my friend naked? And he's not any friend, it's Mark. A MAN.  "...Oh...Christ..." With shaky hands, I reach for my glass, but Rob stops it from meeting my lips. 

 

"Don't drink yourself stupid, that isn't going to solve things." 

 

Closing my eyes, my hands hold my face. "I...I can't be gay, Rob. I just can't be. My parents are going to regret bringing me into the world, you know how homophobic they are."

 

"I know, but you're _their_ Son. Bloods thicker than water an' all, right? Who cares what your parents friends think of your family, this is _your_ life! They aren't going to disown you because you fancy a guy." 

 

"You _really_ don't know my parents, besides I don't even know how I actually feel about him...my emotions are fucked and I've never felt this way about another man before...maybe it's just a phase? What do you think?" My eyes widen and they frantically search my friend's face for any kind of answer. Maybe this is all a dream.

 

Squeezing my wrists, softly he sighs. "I think you need to talk to Mark." 

 

"And say what?! I don't want to fuck his life up anymore than what it is, maybe his crush has faded since?! I can't just roll out of nowhere and say that ' _I think I like you, I think it might just be a phase I'm going through'_ , I don't want to lead him on if my feelings mean nothing!"

 

"Mark will understand. Just think how he's been feeling since he told you about his crush, that couldn't of been easy for him. This stuff takes courage and it's about time you act like the man you're making out to be, if you're gay, you're gay. That doesn't make you any less of a man, what makes you less of a man is if you don't admit to those feelings and if you just keep brushing them off."

 

Since when did he become so grown up? This is Robbie Williams, the number one pest around Manchester, but that guy isn't the one sitting opposite me right now. I've never heard him speak so much sense before.

 

_He's right though._

 

Placing my glass back onto the table, I search around in my pocket for my mobile. "I...I'm going to do it." Dryly I swallow, my legs tremble whilst I type in my lock code. 

 

"And I'll get you a coffee whilst you arrange that." Placing the vodka out of sight, he walks back out of the staff room to make my drink. Taking a deep breath, I text a simple message, but in the back of my mind I'm hoping he's still asleep or doesn't hear the notification. My finger hovers over the send button, waiting a further five minutes I close my eyes and my finger hits send. 

 

_**Hi, can we meet up? On the field...it's important... G x** _

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**_Mark's POV_ **

 

Laying down flat on my back, I stare up at the black sky, watching the stars twinkle, whilst I fiddle with a strand of grass between my fingers. I've been here for roughly fifteen minutes, it was pointless coming so early, but there was something about Gary's text messages which worried me, so arriving earlier gave me enough time to sit and think. Maybe he just wants to meet up with me to have a little rant and to get away from his problems and to be honest I'd love to do the same thing right now, the shelter and everyone in it are doing my head in lately, it's nice to just get some fresh air and - " _Boo..."_ Flinching slightly, instantly my head shoots up towards the dark figure standing inches away from where I'm resting. 

 

"...Ah, there you are." 

 

Gary hesitates whether to sit next to me or ask if we can move to find somewhere decent to sit, but he smiles and sits beside me on the grass anyway. "Haven't been waiting long, have you?" 

 

"No, only couple of minutes." I lie. "You alright?" Noticing his flushed cheeks through the dark surroundings, they stand out a mile. 

 

"Y...Yeah, course, you?" 

 

"Mhmm, yeah I'm good, I suppose." Shrugging my shoulders, my palm presses flat against the earth, acting as my only support. 

 

"Did I wake you?...Last time we spoke...er...you went to sleep..."

 

"You didn't, Gaz. I was just brushing me teeth when I got your text." His eyes nervously scan my body and as soon as we catch eye contact for a brief moment, they move to focus onto something else. "...Have...have you been...drinking?" 

 

There's something different about the way Gary is acting, something I can't put my finger on. Still showing me his new attitude, he shrugs his shoulders carelessly and mumbles under his breath. "Had a few vodkas with Rob, but no, I'm not pissed." 

 

"Hmmm...isn't Rob a little under age to drink?" 

 

"Got no one else to drink with, have I?" Gary sucks on the tip of his tongue regretting his sharp words, he didn't mean for them to come out as snappy as they did. "...Sorry. I've just...had a lot on my mind lately...that's all." 

 

Nodding understandably, my fingers continue to pick at blades of grass. "I know the feeling..."

 

"I might have my sentence decreased...at the shelter." Suddenly he blurts out and the guilt in his wide eyes show that he regrets telling me.

 

"Oh." My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach. That was something I _really_ didn't need to hear. "How long...have you known?" 

 

"...Couple of days. Mum gave me the letter before you came round. Nige isn't happy that I can't cover shifts, so he's doing what he can to shorten my sentence. It'll still be a couple of months yet though, I'm guessing."

 

"Right." Sighing, his words sting, but I have to accept reality. It hurts because he didn't tell me, but then again I'm just someone he met at work, someone to talk to, to pass the time.  "...Well good, good for you." 

 

"You...you erh...think so?" Lifting his gaze to meet mine, forcefully I try to hold back my sadness by painting on a smile. Gary looks full of emotions tonight, whether that's caused by the amount of drink inside his system (which worries me how he actually managed to drive here safely) or something else, either way, I will get to the bottom of it. 

 

"Yeah...you get your life back. Working at the bar and sorting out your music career, you're lucky Gary, you have it all planned out." 

 

"Doesn't mean it will actually work out." 

 

"It will if you stop doubting yourself. What's holding you back? Not your parents, because you've moved out, so that's out of the excuses." I admit, I'm being a little sharp, but I'm upset...can he blame me?

 

"It's not so much about what's holding me back it's...I just wanna be a someone, you know? I want to hear other people singing my songs, I want the credit that I deserve for the hard work I've put in, I don't want to get it all handed to me. I just want to make people happy with something which makes _me_ happy..." 

 

"You make me happy..." Inaudibly I whisper. "...Because a body that hurts is a body worth moving, right?" 

 

"God, yeah. If only my life was simple...-" 

 

Something snaps inside of my body hearing those words. "Simple?! Stop acting as if your life is hard, Gary! You've got everything you need. You've got a family, yeah sure they aren't happy about you wanting to go into music, but if you need them, I'm sure they will bloody support you! You've got a job, you've got clothes on your back, dinner on the table, your _own_ roof over your head! What more do you possibly need? I, for one know that you can do this. I know that you can succeed and that's coming from a dumb, broken tramp!" 

 

Taking hold of my face, he shakes his head and his muscles tense. "You're telling me to stop doubting myself when that's all you ever do, you need to stop dwelling on the past! You're an intelligent, funny and an attractive man, Mark. You're telling me not to give up and to stop making up excuses, when that's what you do every single day!"

 

_Attractive man_

 

Breathing faster, my stomach warms and my eyes lighten. Staring into his eyes, I feel the warmth of his breath against the side of my mouth, it takes me back to the night of the kiss, bringing back the emotions I felt as soon as he became close to me. It takes a few seconds until I make the first move. Closing the gap between our faces, my lips firmly press against his, which lasts merely a few seconds until he pulls away, not allowing either of us to savour the moment. With his hands still holding against my face, I look up at him, his pupils have dilated and his mouth hangs open slightly, which only angers me. "Mark I-" 

 

"Save it." Pushing his hands away from my face, I stumble back to my feet. Once again, he's led me on. How dare he?! 

 

"No, Mark. Wait-" 

 

"No, Gary! Just leave it, yeah?! I can't do this anymore! I can't do it, OK?!" Blinking his eyes up at me, he reaches a hand into my direction, which I refuse to take. 

 

"Do what?" 

 

 _"This!_ Being your friend. Having you flirting with me or what ever you think it is, it's not fair, Alright?! Are you playing on the fact that I have a crush on you?! Is that it? I don't want my emotions fucked up even more! Do you understand how unhealthy this is making me? Since the night _you_ kissed me, I haven't been able to sleep or eat properly, because you're just the sort of guy who does these kind of things and pretend like they never happen!" Almost falling backwards, the words sit on the tip of his tongue, but refuse to leave his mouth. 

 

"I...I...I kissed...you? When?!" 

 

"The night we went out drinking. You were drunk." I scoff. "Like everyone else who has ever kissed me, they have to have alcohol inside of them to make contact with me. _Typical."_  

 

 "B...but Ma-" 

 

 "I don't care. I don't care about _your_ excuses. I can't deal with this, or my emotions or you anymore, Gary. I'm out! Done, friendship over! Don't you dare follow me!" Storming away from where the pair of us have been sitting, Gary remains in the same position, still in shock. Tears fill my eyes as I quickly march out of his sight. I can't believe him, this is painful. 

 

 --------------------------- 

 

**_Gary's POV_ **

 

"Hello?" The cheerful voice speaks, staring into space, heavily I breathe whilst the tears slip down my cheeks. "Gaz? Mate, you there? Have you pocket dialed again?" 

 

"...I...I'm here." Sniffing my blocked nose, I use the back of my hand to remove the tears. God, I feel pathetic. 

 

Rob sighs and releases a yawn, I must of woke him up, but I couldn't feel any guiltier than what I do right now over Mark. "...What's happened?" 

 

"I...I've...lost him." 

 

"You've lost him? As in...he's gone missing? Or you've fucked things up?" 

 

"What do you think?" Deeply I sigh, feeling my head continue to violently spin. "He hates me. We were...bickering I guess...and now he hates me." 

 

"Why, what did you say for him to hate you?" 

 

"It's not so much what I said, it's what I did." Running a hand across my sweaty forehead, it's so dark now I can barely see my own hand in front of my face, but at least no one can see me crying...if there's even anyone around that is. "...He kissed me-" 

 

"That's good, right?" 

 

"...And I pulled away..."

 

"Ah, that's not good..." Even though I can't see him, I can perfectly picture Robbie in my mind, sitting in his bed, pinching his nose and shaking his head. "I thought you liked him? Why did you pull away?"

 

Yes, _why_ did I pull away? I've never felt lips as soft as his, stupid as it sounds, but it could of been something beautiful, something which we both wanted, yet I ruined it. "...I...I...I don't know. I really don't, Rob. He just gives me so much hope in life, he's awful for my ego, but he's just so honest. If I'm being a dick, he'll tell me...and that's what's worrying me now, he said the friendship is over...and I believe that-"

 

"He's upset by the sound of it, anyone would be when they're receiving mixed signals." 

 

"He...he er...said that I kissed him, one night I got drunk. I know I've been, you know...kind of flirty around him, but I didn't know I was doing any harm. I just thought he enjoyed having someone care and give him the attention that he craved. I'm an awful person, aren't I?" 

 

Robbie lightly chuckles. "Truly the worst. Surely he'll understand though, I mean...this is the _first_ time you've had feelings for a man, right?" 

 

"Yeah."

 

"And you are a stubborn fucker, he obviously knows that!" We both giggle over that, because...maybe it is true, just a little. "...And you're confused, he's confused and I suppose you've both been flirting with one another like mad, but you just tried to ignore your true feelings towards him, because he's a man and your parents have brought you up in a household where loving the same sex is wrong and all that." Hearing Rob tell me all of this, softens my heart. It speaks so much sense, I shouldn't be _too_ hard on myself. 

 

"But what can I do now? His mobile is off and the shelter is closed now, so he's probably in bed."

 

"Go there, you both need to talk whilst this is still heated. He will only over think things whilst he's mad and upset, you both will." 

 

"It's closed though and I don't own a key." Drying the remaining tears on my hoodie's sleeve, tiredness seeps into my body. Right now I could happily curl up and cry myself to sleep in this very field. 

 

 _"So?_ Never stopped you before when we use to sneak into clubs, this is more important. Throw stones, bang on windows, or climb through one of them... just get his attention." 

 

Briefly my eyes close and the light breeze makes contact with my damp face. It's possible, extremely risky, but possible and worth it. "...There's no harm in trying, right? Hopefully he's smoking or something...they sometimes give him an extra few minutes outside."

 

"It'll make things a little easier, him seeing you trying to fix things. You've gotta try it, Gaz."

 

Nodding my head I feel myself slightly begin to pump up. "Yeah...I'm going to try it...I'm going to tell him how I really feel...then he can either love me or leave me." That phrase is rather fitting right now, but I suppose he doesn't love me...I don't think?

 

"Let me know how you get on tomorrow, good luck mate!"

 

"Thanks for all your help, Rob. I owe you." Breathing a sigh of relief, my heart pounds against my chest, mainly because of excitement and fear which I'm currently feeling.

 

"...Ah, just make sure I get an invite to the wedding and I'll let you off the hook."

 

"Funny one you are!"

 

\--------------------------

 

_**Mark's POV** _

 

Laying in bed with a pounding head, my fingers firmly press against my temples. "Bastard headache." Loudly I grunt whilst rolling around in my bed, trying to find a comfortable position. The thoughts of Gary continue to violently spin around my head, picturing him and Robbie in the bar laughing about me, it wouldn't surprise me. Tears fill my eyes once again, which only annoys me even more. Why am I even wasting my tears on someone who doesn't give a fuck about me? He used me for attention and someone to cry to, that's all I ever was to him. At least I know where I-... the sound of something hitting against the window above my head causes my body to freeze. Again, again and again the same noise fills my eardrums. Someone's throwing something at the window? Possibly stones...kicking back the thin blanket which covers my bare legs, I stand on the bed frame so I'm able to reach the window. It's not a high window, but I'm noticeably small for my age. Ripping back the single green curtain, I feel like having a fight to release some of this tension, so fighting with some stranger throwing stones at my window would be the perfect excuse. Unable to see anything through the darkness, I open the window and peer my head out of it. "Alright, who are ya? I'm in no mood for games, so show yourself!" 

 

For few seconds, there's nothing but deafening silence, the only sound which can be heard is the blood pounding in my ears. "...Mark." Suddenly a voice whispers and a blonde head comes into view. 

 

"I should of known." Snorting at the sight of Gary standing underneath the window, still with stones in his fist, I shake my head whilst reaching to close the window again. 

 

"No! Stop! I need to say something." 

 

"You've said enough, I've told you. I don't want anything else to do with you! Now go away before we both get into trouble." 

 

"I don't care! I'll beg. I will get on my knees right now and beg you to come out and talk to me if I have to!" Noticing Gary's body shake slightly, my arms cross over my chest whilst I continue to scowl into his direction. "Fine." Sticking to his words, he places both of his knees onto the concrete ground, whilst holding his hands together. If I wasn't in such a bad mood, I'd be wetting myself over the look of innocence growing on his face. "Please, Mark. Please come out and let me explain."

 

Chewing on the bottom of my lip, holding back a smile, deeply I sigh. No matter how angry and upset I am over him, I still care about him. "...I'm only in my underpants."

 

"It won't take long, promise. I'll help you back inside after." Jumping back to his feet, his breathing increases, almost like he's just run a marathon and is losing breath. That doesn't look healthy.

 

Nodding my head, I agree to speak. If I don't, then he's going to pester me all night. Crawling onto the window ledge, Gary holds his arms out incase I fall, it's only a five foot drop. Sliding away from the window, I fall against Gary's chest and he ends up losing his footing and falls against me, causing my back to slam against the wall behind. 

 

"Fuck." Loudly I groan. Opening my eyes, the blonde remains pressed up against me, almost like we're in a tight space and there's hardly any room for the two of us. "W...Well?" Finding it hard to calmly breathe, our eyes lock into a gaze and our noses almost bump together.

 

"I...I don't want...I don't want to lose you, Mark..." Sadly he whispers and I almost hear my own heart shatter. Feeling my throat tighten, I avert my eyes towards the logo on his hoodie.

 

"Bit...late for that, don't you think?"

 

"Nothing is ever too late... to fix things."

 

Trying to wiggle away from Gary's body, I fail, which slightly frustrates me. Is he trying to lead me on again? Maybe he's had more to drink. "Gary, what is it? Just spit it out and let me go back to sle-"

 

"I like you." Those three simple words almost make my heart leap out of my chest.

 

"Is this...a sympathy thing?"

 

Shaking his head, the fear continues to grow in his eyes and his breathing reflects mine. Short heavy breathes. "...No. It's not. I don't understand my feelings...but I know that no one has made me feel this way. Not a girl and certainly never a man, but there's just something about you which makes me go weak at the knees everytime you smile. The way you build me up when I feel like a failure or that I can't do something... you're the sweetest person I have ever met...and you make me feel...you make me feel like a somebody, Mark."

 

Running the tip of my tongue against my bottom lip, my legs almost give way. Is he saying what I think he is? "That's...that's what friends are for, right?"

 

"I've been hiding...my feels for too long. I'm scared."

 

"Wh...why?" Holding the back his head, my fingers naturally comb through the strands of his hair.

 

"I've never considered myself as a gay man...then again I've never met a man who makes me feel the same way that you do. I'm going to... lose...so many important people in my life, but...for once _I_ want to be happy."

 

Feeling my throat tighten, Gary moves incredibly close towards my face, completely stepping over the friendship barrier and that's when his lips finally close the gap. Softly he plants his lips over the top of mine, it isn't a sloppy, thoughtless kiss, like the kisses which I've received in the past. It's a slow kiss which melts my brain. My eyes widen whilst the kiss continues, tightly he grips underneath my arms, pushing my back completely flat against the brick wall of the shelter.

 

Gary is kissing me, _Gary Barlow is kissing me_ and I feel like I'm falling.

 

A million emotions shoot through my body at once. Confusion, happiness, sadness...relief. Wrapping my arms around the back of his neck, I show him I want this, more than anything else in the world. I've had daydreams about this moment and for it to finally become reality...I...I can't begin to describe it. Closing my eyes, fireworks errupt in the pit of my stomach. Pulling away slightly, the embrace comes to an end and I notice that his eyes have become a little watery. Pressing his chin against my shoulder, for a moment we just hold one another. "...What...what now...?" I find myself blurt out minutes later.

 

"Want to come back to mine?" Mumbling against my shoulder, I feel myself freeze by his offer, until he corrects himself. "...I'm not... after...you know..." He clears his throat awkwardly. "...I think...we need to talk...about things..."

 

Lightly smiling, I tilt my head onto one side. "...I'd like that...but I've left my trousers inside...erh..."

 

"You can borrow somethin' of mine, if you like? They'll probably be huge on you, but...it's better than being caught, right?"

 

"Good plan." Finally Gary pushes his body away from mine, but still I feel like I can't breathe, just picturing the kiss makes me feel...breathless. Taking hold of my hand, lightly his thumb traces over my knuckles. Forcing myself away from the wall, weakly I smile whilst we walk over to his parked car.

 

"Are you OK...?" Stroking my cheek with his other hand, I couldn't feel happier right now.

 

"Yes...lets go..."

 

Gently he pecks his lips against mine one last time, before opening the passenger side of the car door for me.

 

\-------------------------------

 

The journey to Gary's was extremely quiet, but not awkward silence. The radio was on low and his hand rested on top of my bare kneecap, whilst I felt myself drift off. "Want me to take the sofa...tonight?" Yawning louder than expected, the older male chuckles slightly, whilst removing his trainers.

 

"Oh...I thought...maybe we could...er...share the bed? Or is that being...too pushy?"

 

Almost stumbling over my own feet, I hold back a beaming grin. "...Sounds good to me. As long as you don't snore...or steal the duvet."

 

"I don't snore!" He whines, whilst playfully rolling his eyes. "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling knackered. Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

 

"No...no I'm fine, Gaz. Sleep is the only thing I need...with _you."_ Running my hands down towards his waist, I could never get tired of kissing Gary's lips. Making the first move, our lips brush together and I feel myself open my mouth uncontrollably. Lightly I feel Gary's tongue skim the tip of mine and my stomach feels like it's going to explode. Breaking away first, I feel my cheeks blushing like crazy. "...You're a great kisser, Gaz."

 

Nervously he laughs and wraps an arm around my waist. "Never heard one that before...thanks."

 

Walking to the bedroom feels like a long journey, but as soon as we step inside, I feel my eyes become heavy again. Maybe I can finally have a good nights rest with a clear mind? Sliding off my thin t shirt, Gary looks away to give me some privacy whilst he does the same in the other corner of the room. We settle on sleeping shirtless, but in our boxers. "Do you mind if I sleep with my-" Pointing to the thin emerald scarf wrapped around my neck, nervously I stand with my hands in front of my stomach, feeling slightly ashamed.

 

"If you're happy...I'm happy..." Taking both of my hands in his, we walk over towards the bed. Pulling back the covers, finally I sink underneath them, drifting into bed like a feather. Feeling the softness of the mattress against my back and the cool sheets over my body, happily I sigh. "I...I hope one day...you'll show me." His words vibrate against my shoulder, as he begins to spoon me. Shuddering at the thought of Gary's reaction over my scars, sickens me. Why would anyone want to see that?! They're vile. He's going to be disgusted. Faintly I smile, whilst reaching for his hand and resting it against my hip, wanting him to be closer. I've never shared a bed with anyone before, so I want to feel relaxed, I want to sleep in Gary's arms like I've been dreaming of. "...Sweet dreams, butterfly."

 

"You...-" Releasing a yawn, I nuzzle the side of my face against the pillows, feeling Gary's warm breath through the fabric of my scarf. "...You too, Gaz." Feeling his broad chest firmly press against my bare back, I couldn't be in a happier position right now.

 

Maybe dreams _do_ come true? 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

_**Mark's POV** _

 

"I could never get tired of this..." Gary hums whilst running a hand through my hair. Propping myself up on my elbow, I reach a hand up towards his lips, letting my fingers brush against them.

 

"...I could stay like this forever..." Moving my hand more south, I stroke his bare chest. Laying naked in bed with Gary is by far the best thing I have ever done.

 

"Maybe...maybe we can."

 

"We can?"

 

The blonde smirks and places his hand onto the back of my head, forcing our faces closer and pecks his lips against the tip of my nose. "...We can do whatever the hell we like, butterfly..."

 

Feeling the warmth grow in pit of my stomach, it's impossible to hold back my beaming grin. Almost squashing him into the pillows, I throw myself at him. "...You make me...so happy..." Passionately I kiss him, feeling him grin during the kiss only causes me to do the same. His hands grip around my waist, letting me feel his cock grow hard against my naked skin. Breaking away first, my forehead rests against his whilst I pant for my breath back. "...Fuck."

 

"Indeed." Softly he whispers, fingering the fabric of my scarf which hangs around my neck.

 

"...God...I want you..." Planting kisses against his neck and collar bone, he almost squeaks at my words. I've never felt so ready in my life, I've never wanted something or someone so badly before.

 

"You sure?"

 

"...Very."

 

Widely Gary grins whilst biting his bottom lip. "...You're going to have to remove...your...you know?" Pointing to the thick material around my neck, I feel my heart drop slightly. I've never shown my scars to anyone before, other than my parents and Mary, but if I want this relationship to work, I'm going to have to come clean about everything. Nodding my head nervously, Gary doesn't stop stroking my hips and warmly smiles up into my direction. With shaky fingers, I grip hold of the showing end of the scarf, very slowly I begin to unravel it from around my neck, feeling the cold air hit against the exposed skin. Closing my eyes as tight as possible, the whole scarf drops from around my neck. It's at least a minute until I decide to open my eyes and I feel a vibration from Gary's stomach whilst I remain seated on top of it. "Oh...oh my...God." Screwing up his face in horror and disgust, instantly my heart shatters at the sight. "...That's...that's...ugh, God!"

 

Tears fill my eyes immediately by the tone of his voice and one manages to escape and drop onto Gary's skin. "...I...I-"

 

"Get off me!" Forcefully he pushes my body, causing me to fall limp onto the wooden floor beside the bed. "I was almost about to have sex...with...with...a freak!"

 

"Oh god." Holding my face, the tears continue to flood from my eyes.

 

_Not again, please not this again. Please._

 

"You're disgusting!" Loudly he shouts, whilst reaching for his underwear. "Get out of my flat! Go on! Get back to the place where you crawled out of!"

 

"P...p...please, don't do this. I...I'm sorry...I'm so..." I stammer and gasp for breath. "I'm sorry...I...I...I'm s...sorry...I'm-"

 

Suddenly my eyes snap open and my body almost jumps out of the bed. "AH!" Blinking my eyes rapidly around the room, within a blink of an eye for some strange reason I'm back in bed.

 

_I'm in bed?_

 

"Oh...afternoon." A voice chuckles beside me. My entire body shivers and sweat builds up on my face and forehead. Immediately my hands jump to my throat, feeling the scarf  _still_ tightly wrapped around it. It was all a dream...? Just a dream, a nightmare infact. "...Mate?" A hand touches my bare shoulder and I almost jump a mile by the feel. Turning my head towards the figure, Gary's eyes are wide and full of concern.

 

"Y...Y...Yeah." Stuttering out the single word, I feel sick. "...Just...just a dream."

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Quivering a brow, lightly his fingertips brush against my shoulder blade.

 

Shaking my head, I hold my palm flat against my burning forehead. "N...no. I'd rather forget about it." Dropping backwards onto the mattress, I inhale a deep breath. Would Gary really react like that? I wouldn't blame him, besides...ex partners have behaved like _that_ over seeing them, so why wouldn't he? Then again Gary is different compared to them, extremely different and I'm thankful for that. Edging closer, he wraps a single arm around my waist and places a tender kiss onto the tensed vein which is visible in my neck, above my scarf. 

 

"I'm 'ere...if you need to talk about anything. I won't  _ever_  judge you..OK?"

 

Leisurely I nod my head in response. I've never known someone as caring as what Gary is. He could _never_ behave like he did in my dream and even if he was disgusted he wouldn't call me a freak. Well, I believe he wouldn't say that to my face. "I'm OK now, but thank you." Softly I kiss his lips and my forehead rests against his bare chest. "...What time is it? Have you been awake long?"

 

"Just gone twelve." He mumbles into my hair. "...Only a couple of hours...couldn't help but watch you sleep, it was a nice soothing sight to watch." Lifting my head, I notice his cheeks are lightly blushing.

 

"That's...that's sweet." Stroking his glowing cheek with the back of my hand, faintly I smile. "...And...wow, I slept that long?!"

 

Gary shrugs and smirks. "I couldn't believe it when I woke up to see you in my arms. I'm glad you don't hate me."

 

"I could never hate _you_...no matter how upset I was, I'm sorry you thought that-"

 

"Hey." Taking my hand, he entwines our fingers together. "...No sorrys. Anyway, I was thinking maybe we could go shopping? For clothes, If you're feeling up to it?"

 

"Oh, shopping?!" Instantly my eyes light up by the word. It's been so long since I last went clothes shopping. Actual clothes shopping and not just me staring through glass windows.

 

Giggling at my reaction, he shifts his head up towards the headboard and grabs hold of his jeans from the chair beside the bed. "Guessing that's a yes, then? After all you did say you wanted to style me... we can get you a few new things too."

 

"Oh no, Gaz. You don't need to do that!"

 

"I know, but I want to treat you. I  _really_  like  _you_ , Mark." Happily he sighs, whilst walking over towards his wardrobe, not taking his eyes away from mine. He looks so relived to finally being able to speak those words out loud, how long has he had these thoughts about me bottled up? "...But I'm afraid you're gonna have to wear an outfit of mine if we do...unless you want to parade around town in your undies." He smirks over his shoulder whilst arching a brow. Crawling down to the foot of the bed, I watch Gary flick through his small amount of clothing, even though I'm homeless I'm pretty sure I have double the amount of clothes than what he has in his entire flat. "...What about this?" Holding up a denim jacket, it pulls me away from my current thoughts and I almost choke on my laughter.

 

"Jesus, Gaz! What's that from?! The nineties?!"

 

"Oi! I think it's rather nice, actually."

 

"For a fancy dress party, maybe. Jeez, I can't wait to choose your outfits!"

 

\--------------------------

 

After half an hour of deciding out of Gary's lack of clothing, we settled on a black vest top and jeans, both a size too big for me, but it's better than wearing nothing I suppose...even if Gary does keep mentioning that my nipple is on show every time I take a step. "I'm not modelling them, lad. I'm either buying them or moving onto the next shop." We decided to keep hand holding, touching and kissing for our eyes only. It's barely been a day and with Gary's friends and family living around the area it's best to wait, also I don't want to be kicked out of the shelter, but that doesn't mean I can't still boss Gary around.

 

"What's the point of shopping if you're not going to try anything on? You won't know the correct size and you might not like it whilst it's on! That's the fun part."

 

"There  _isn't_  a fun part when it comes to clothes shopping." Miserably he mumbles, whilst I continue to load his arms up with various shirts and trousers.

 

"Now go." Checking to see if anyone's around, gently I tap his bum with my palm, whilst he disappears behind the curtain. Folding my arms across my chest I stand and wait outside the changing rooms.

 

Closing my eyes for a brief moment, the visions of the dream from this morning continues to haunt me. Maybe I should talk to him about it, explain what exactly happened and how it's made me feel...then again it might upset him if I think bad of him. My legs feel weak and my stomach churns, it's almost been twenty four hours since we confessed to one another and already I'm about to fuck things up.

 

"Earth to planet Mark?" A hand grips to my upper arm and I almost end up choking on my own tongue. Snapping open my eyes I come face to face with the taller male who's face is full of concern. "Mate, are you OK? You look...a little...er pale?" Feeling my forehead burn up, swiftly I paint on a fake but convincing smile.

 

"I...erh...y...yeah..." Scratching the back of my head, I avert my eyes away from Gary's, focusing on differently sized racks containing brightly coloured shirts which burn my eyes. Who on earth would wear those?!

 

"Well, how do I look?" He clears his throat and stands in front of one of the full length body mirrors, which is fixed to the wall opposite the changing rooms. "I think the trousers are little tight around my... you know what... and they're slightly big around my waist so I might get a belt to fix that, but they're comfortable and I _love_ the shirt." Running his hand down his dark blue shirt which is tightly fitted around the chest area, my jaw almost hits the floor. Noticing how tight the dark skinny jeans fit around his ass, only causes my  _own_  pants tighten at the sight. "What do you think? And tell me...honestly."

 

Moving closer to where Gary stands, he pinches his lips into a horizontal line, looking slightly insecure. "Y...You look...incredible." Breathing out the words, it's impossible to hold back a beaming smile when he's looking as gorgeous as ever. "...Seriously, Gaz. You look amazing." Placing my hand onto his shoulder, the pair of us continue to stare into the mirror in front of us.

 

"If they're good enough for you, they are for me. Think I should take the outfit then?"

 

"Please...the shirt is perfect for showing off your muscles...hmm..." Squeezing Gary's tensed bicep, softly I mumble. This whole thing feels like a dream.

 

Gently he chuckles and spins around on his heel, making our faces become incredibly close together and it's painful having to resist the urge of kissing him in public, but that'll have to wait until we're behind closed doors. "You have a pretty good eye when it comes to fashion, Mr Owen." Wrapping a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I can't help but blush at his comment. "...Right, we better get you an outfit then we can finally get going so I can get dinner sorted...if you fancy staying over again tonight, that is?"

 

Running my tongue against my bottom lip, awkwardly we stand there like two high school kids, about to ask one another to go to the prom for the first date. Stroking my nervously arm up and down, I kick my foot forwards slightly against the laminate floor, like I'm kicking an imaginary stone. "...If that would be OK with you?"

 

Gary's lips twitch into a smile. "I really want you to stay. I've got work tomorrow at the shelter so I can drop you off with me, then I have to go and work at the bar...Nige is being a bit of prick, but it's nothing new..." He rolls his eyes.

 

"Oh, nothing serious is it?"

 

"No, no. Nothing I can't handle. Apparently I haven't been focused on the job for the past month, but...I suppose that's sorted now." Wrapping an arm around my waist, lightly he squeezes my hip. Feeling my cheeks burn by his obvious hint, I hold back my smile by biting my bottom lip.

 

God, I want to kiss him _so_ bad. This is torture.

 

"Anyway...we need to get you an outfit. Hopefully it wont take _all year."_ He teases and pinches my arse.

 

Bastard.

\------------------------

 

An hour and half later and we've finally arrived home, but food is the last thing on our minds. "Worst shopping trip of me life." Gary mutters against my mouth, whilst dragging me by the collar of my new shirt, I almost squeal when he pins me against the door and deeply kisses me. It feels so good to finally touch him and finally have our bodies pressed tightly together. Snaking my hand up shirt, I press my palms against his bare skin.

 

"Worst, ay?"

 

"Well...it _was_  good to have  _you_  with me...even if you dragged me in every single shop in soddin' Manchester! But...today showed me I need me hands in cuffs to stop me from touching you."

 

Lightly smirking, I bring my hands around to the front of his body, pawing them against his chest. "...I'd love to see you in a pair of cuffs...Mr Barlow..."

 

A moan vibrates from the back of Gary's throat and he laces his fingers through mine. "Let's...let's go somewhere comfortable...my feet and back is killin'." Not giving me chance to respond to that, he leads me towards his bedroom and I feel my head begin to spin by the possible thoughts.

 

Resting his head against the headboard, he pulls me on top of him and suddenly the dream is back into my mind. Here I am sitting on top of Gary, I'm getting Déjà vu. Trailing his hands up towards my visible chest through the undone buttons on my shirt, slowly he begins to undo them one by one, causing the pair of us to breathe faster by the current gentle touches. Pressing my ass more into Gary's crotch, his jeans continue to tighten and his dick becomes slightly hard each time I roll my hips forwards. Throwing his head backwards against the headboard, whilst his hands rest against my hips, his cheeks redden from slight embarrassment. Discarding his shirt on the floor beside up, I catch his lips with my own. 

 

Are we moving too fast? It's not like we're pushing one another...am I pushing him?

 

**_Gary's POV_ **

 

There's a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. A feeling I haven't felt in years, or maybe ever. It's been a day now since I confessed about liking Mark,  _really_ liking him and thankfully he accepted my apology and here we are now, semi naked and I'm getting harder by every passing minute. Mark continues to rapidly grind his hips into my lap, making me lose breath and see imaginary stars. Arching my back, the rough material of my briefs and jeans which are my only restrictions, make my erection feel even more uncomfortable. "I...I'm...not ready." Choking the words out unexpectedly, instantly I regret speaking them as soon as Mark stills his movements. Chewing my bottom lip, I grit my teeth together trying to think of a good enough excuse why I'm not ready for sex, even though _I_ basically lured him into _my_ bed. "S...sorry...it's...it's just-"

 

"Shhh..." Pressing his fingertip against my parted lips, warmly he smiles down at me. "I understand...it's the first time you've been with a man...I don't want to push you into anything you're not ready with." Nuzzling his lips against my collar bone, his smile presses against my skin, making me shiver slightly by his warm contact. "...Do you want me to stop? Or do you want to start off slowly? When the time is right for the both of us...it will just happen naturally, Gaz." Instantly I become relaxed by his soothing words. I never expected having some kind of relationship with a man would be so calm and relaxed, especially being a man myself...then again I never expected to have a sexual and love filled relationship with a man in the first place.

 

How time has changed.

 

"...C...can we start off slow...? I'm a bit...insecure about...taking all of my clothes off...at the moment." Keeping my teeth pressed against my lip or tip of my tongue, I feel like a virgin all over again, but when it comes to touching and having sex with a man of course I'm a virgin that way.

 

"No worries...but we need to do something about this." Mark cheekily winks whilst rubbing his backside against my covered erection. "I'm going to remove your jeans now...don't worry. Tell me to stop if it gets too much, alright?" Vaguely I nod my head, feeling the nerves grow inside of me, my eyes never leave Mark's. Watching the smaller man carefully roll off from my body, his unbuttoned shirt remains on his body and so does his scarf. Unbuckling my belt, the sound of the zip being dragged down the metal teeth on my jeans, manage to burn my ears. It's obvious that Mark's experienced when it comes to having sex or touching another man, but that doesn't make me feel comfortable about my figure, no matter how much Mark tries to reassure me. It was better spooning him last night, because it was too dark to see anything. Slowly and carefully he pulls my jeans until they reach my ankles and his eyes bulge at the sight of my tented briefs. "Still...erh..." Clearing his throat, he directs his eyes back up towards mine. "...Still feeling OK with all of this?"

 

"Y...Yes."

 

His smile softens and he tugs my jeans away from my ankles, but leaves my briefs and socks on. Tickling the inside of my thigh delicately with his fingers, quietly I moan by his gentle touches. "...If you want me to remove your underwear...just say. I don't want you uncomfortable." Circling his thumb against the very tip of my covered cock, my fist grips hold of the duvet underneath me. Forming a fist around the material, lightly he squeezes the full length the best that he can. As much as I want to beg him to remove my briefs and to wank me off with ease, the thoughts continue to eat at me. This is the first sexual thing we've done and for now, I want to experiment and build up the confidence which could possibly lead to sex in the near future. Moving his fist lazily up and down, I press the back of my head even further into the pillows, it's been so long since a person has touched me, It feels like the very first time all over again. 

 

_But better._

 

"You're...so hard, Gaz." Mark mewls against my thigh, increasing the speed of his fist. Planting kisses against my right leg, I begin to relax by his soft touches, feeling myself getting pushed closer towards my limit. "...And big...and thick and...wet..." He mumbles against my cock, pressing a kiss against the head, any minute now I'm expecting the material to split.

 

"M...Mark..." Reaching forwards, my fingers wrap around the overgrown strands of his hair and he moans against my dick, sending me insane.

 

"It's...It's...OK..." Continuing to palm me, loudly I puff out my cheeks, tugging his hair harder, which he doesn't complain about at all...maybe he enjoys it? I should keep a note of the things he enjoys.

 

Wrapping his lips around the head of my cock, I feel his hot breath make contact with my damp underwear and wet skin. "Oh...f...fuck...I'm...I'm gonna-" Warning him, my body begins to tremble. Removing his lips away from my shaft, he continues to pump his hand against me.

 

Minutes later I finally ride out my orgasm. Soaking my underwear, I arch my back as much as I possibly can whilst I mutter out his name, before dropping flat onto my back and Mark releases me from his grip. Neither of us speak for a minute or two and my vision remains blurred from my orgasm for a few seconds.

 

Quickly he jumps from the bed and disappears into the bathroom, returning seconds later with a bundle of tissue paper. "...Do you want me to...er...?" Nervously he stands beside the bed.

 

Feeling incredibly embarrassed for coming in my underpants, my face sweats slightly and burns. "It's...fine...thank you." Taking the tissue from him, I reach for a clean pair of briefs from the drawer beside me. "...I...I'm sorry."

 

"For what?" Cheerfully Mark asks whilst sitting onto the edge of the bed.

 

"For...um...you know..." Shrugging my shoulders, quickly I clean myself up, out from Mark's view and change my underwear. "...Comin' in me undies..." Shyly I smile.

 

"Don't be embarrassed, Gaz?" Sharply Mark looks into my direction, almost looking shocked at my worry. "...It's all part of experimenting isn't it? I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to change mine after that too!" Loudly he laughs and happily sighs. "It was... _so_ hot."

 

"Y...You think so?"

 

"God, yeah." Leaning forwards, he pecks my lips and gently sucks the bottom one into his mouth. "...So...fuckin' hot."

 

My stomach violently flips, I can almost taste myself on his lips. Why am I getting turned on by this? Grinning against his face, lightly I nod. Handing him a fresh pair of briefs from the cupboard also, I force myself off from the bed. "...I better start on dinner..." Before I get chance to get chance to walk towards the door, tightly Mark grips to my hand.

 

"...Wait."

 

"Are you OK?" Frowning my eyebrows down at him, the smile is instantly wiped from his face.

 

"...I know how insecure you are of your body...even though it's far more attractive than what mine will ever be." Sadly he looks down at his knees.

 

Sitting back onto the bed, I take both of his hands into mine, resting them onto my covered lap. "...Your body is perfect. Why would you say that?"

 

"B...Because." Shakily he speaks whilst pointing at the material around his neck. "...I want to stop hiding them from you...because I need to see your honest reaction to my scars. If they make you feel sick or make you think I look like a freak, then I know I'm wasting my time, sorry if that sounds horrible, but my past relationships have ended because of them." My heart shatters by Mark's words, unable to work my mouth to speak, faintly I nod in reply.

 

Is that true? People have judged Mark over his accident? Maybe it was kids, not serious relationships, children can be such bullies and that scars your mind for life. I know exactly what he's talking about, I grew up suffering from bullies mainly about my weight and I changed, not because I really wanted to, but because I felt like I had to just to make them leave me alone, but I'm happy I did and I hope to change my figure even more now that I'm with Mark. I want him to proudly show me off in the future.

 

**_Mark's POV_ **

 

My throat feels like it's on fire and my heart almost feels like its going to stop beating, _I wish it would._ Taking a sharp intake of air, I close my eyes and reach for the end of my scarf, compared to my dream, its almost the same, expect we aren't fully naked this time. Slowly, extremely slowly infact, I begin to unravel the light material. Rapidly my breathing increases and I become dizzy. Gary's hands and thumbs stroke against my exposed stomach, trying the best that he can to calm me down, which is strangely working, but not a great deal. _"...Freak..."_ I mumble under my breath, scolding myself. _"...You're a freak, Mark."_ It's only a short scarf this time, but it feels like a life time until it leaves me skin. Dropping it into my lap at last, my eyes remain firmly closed and I continue to kick myself down. _"Disgusting... freak... ugly...worthless..."_

 

Still Gary doesn't speak a word. He's disgusted, he's going to throw up on me any second now-

 

Suddenly his hands tightly take hold of mine once again. Squeezing them. "Beautiful." He whispers. Moving closer towards the side of my neck where my scars are located. "Beautiful..." His breath is so warm against my tender flesh, what is he doing? Prying open one of my eyelids, I notice his lips have puckered and very lightly, he pecks them against my scars. "...You're beautiful." He continues to repeat over and over several times, kissing my scars and now wrapping his arms around my waist.

 

Tears fill my eyes and one manages to escape and drop onto his bare kneecap.

 

"Ga...Gary..." I tremble, feeling overwhelmed by his reaction, but still incredibly scared.

 

"Thank you..." Trailing kisses from my neck and down towards my collar bone, he moves a finger up towards my face and holds it underneath my chin, delicately moving my face to look him in the eyes. "...It means a lot."

 

Sniffling softly and feeling the tears continue to roll down my cheeks, I move my free hand to wipe them away. "...W...Why?"

 

"To know that you trust me. I know how upset they make you...but you're not disgusting...and you're certainly not a freak. They are scars and they don't make me feel different about you...if anything...I like you even more now...if that's possible, because I know it's taken a lot of guts to do that, Mark."

 

Nodding my head, my entire body begins to shake. Is this real? Is this another dream? Working my mouth, words fail to leave my lips. What can I possibly say to that?

 

"Come 'ere you..." Throwing my arms tightly around the back of his neck, loudly I start to sob against him. "It's OK, Marky. It's over with...now." Stroking his hand up and down my back, Gary's lips never leave my neck and for the first time, I don't feel sick. He's so soft and gentle with me, I couldn't be happier. Holding one another, we slowly rock back and forth together. "So proud of you... _so_ proud..."

 

I could happily stay like this for the rest of my life.


	10. Chapter 10

(Two months later)

 

_**Mark's POV** _

 

"Hello?"

 

"Mate, it's me." The voice sighs. "I'm going to be working late, are you able to get a bus to mine?"

 

Unplugging my E cig's charger, I zip up my over night bag. "Er...yeah if you like? Or I could come and wait for you at the bar if you're not too busy?"

 

"You can do if you want, Rob's 'ere and the place is pretty dead. Nige has left me to run the place single handed, but thankfully I'm not rushed off me feet tonight. I've just got to sing a couple of more songs and serve until midnight. Do you still have the bus fare that I gave you yesterday?"

 

"I do, yeah. I'll get the bus now and see you in less than an hour?" Faintly I smile at myself whilst sitting on the edge of my bed.

 

Gary's voice lightens up in an instant. "Sounds good to me, sorry about of all this. Work's been making us distance the past couple of weeks, hasn't it?"

 

"No, no. Don't be silly I understand. See you soon."

 

"Thanks, bye mate."

 

It's been around two months since me and Gary have been _'seeing'_ one another, which sounds weird, but we haven't really discussed the whole boyfriend tag just yet nor have we discussed the sex, we just decided to take things slow. Thankfully nobody at the shelter has noticed anything between the pair of us, even if I do spend around three nights a week at Gary's, it's _our_ private business.

 

"Off somewhere?" A female's voice speaks behind me as soon as I'm about to leave. Turning around on the spot I come face to face with the smaller woman, who looks at me with sadness in her eyes.

 

"Yeah. Going to go and meet a friend."

 

"Is that friend _Gary_ by any chance?"

 

Ever since the whole bust up two months or so back, I still haven't had time to sit and resolve things between me and Mary. I love her, I really do, but she hurt me at the time. She's my second Mother in a way, maybe I over reacted and at the end of the day she was right and was only being fair. "No actually, I do have friend's other than Gary believe it or not." Bitterly I speak.  I'm not completely telling a lie when I say this, because I will be spending time with Rob whilst I'm waiting for Gary to finish his shift at work.

 

"Oh...er...right, yes of course. Sorry." Bowing her head, I feel a firm tug on my heart strings. Without my parents and my unborn Sister in my life, Gary and Mary are the only people I care about, but now it feels like I _only_ have Gary and that's scary, especially because he isn't exactly known as my boyfriend at the moment. 

 

"No, Mary...wait." I sigh. I can't lose her, one day I might fuck things up between me and Gary and then what? Who will I have in my life? If I've learnt one thing in my life, it's that life is too short, as pathetic and cliché as that sounds, I wish I had a few more minutes with my parents, to at least show them that I'm thankful for everything they have ever done for me. "I'll be back...in two days time...can we speak when I get back?"

 

Her face soften and there's a slight glow reappearing in his eyes. Lightly she nods and takes my hands in hers. "...Of course we can, hunny." Pecking my cheek I close my eyes briefly, I've missed having the Mother figure in my life. "Be careful, _promise_ me...?" Gently she whispers and there's a strange feeling in my heart. Does she mean be careful of being outside of the shelter? Or does she mean be careful possibly knowing something is going on between me and Gary? Well it is kind of obvious, after all the smile hasn't left my face ever since his first day here and my crush on him sticks out like a sore thumb.

 

Smiling at her, faintly I nod my head, there's no time for questions otherwise I'll end up missing my bus and I can't bare to be apart from Gary a minute longer.

 

"I promise..."

\-------------------------

 

Slinging my rucksack over my shoulder, I walk through the wooden doors of the bar. The smell of alcohol immediately fills my nostrils, whilst my eyes scan around the room. Gary was right, this place really is _dead!_ There isn't a young face in sight...oh, and of course there's hardly anyone actually in the bar, maybe he meant the term dead in that way...

 

"Mark? Mark, over here!" A voice calls, but it's not a voice that I can easily recognise. Searching around the spacious room, I notice a hand waving into my direction and strangely that hand belongs to someone who is far younger than seventy. Shooting my famous beaming smile, I walk up the stairway to an area next to the bar. "Gaz said you were on your way." Pushing the chair back which is opposite him using his foot, I drop my rucksack on the floor.

 

"Yeah, sorry, traffic was a nightmare." Rolling my eyes I sit opposite the boy, who looks far too young to be sitting alone in a bar with half a pint and a glass of white wine sitting in front of him. Then again Gary _is_ running the bar tonight and it seems he lets anything go.

 

"Tell me about it, man. That's Manchester for you. Anyway, I'm Robbie...but you can call me Rob." Outstretching his arm into my direction, I take his hand in mine and lightly I shake it to greet him.

 

"I'm Mark...oh...you know that of course..."

 

Rob laughs, whilst sipping his beer. "I'm the one you thought Gary was having a secret relationship with, right?"

 

Instantly my cheeks burn from embarrassment, knowing exactly what he's talking about, it was also the night that Gary _kissed_ me. "Oh...er...he...er-"

 

"Yeah, he told me. He's told me _a lot_ actually..." Wiggling his eyebrows, I feel a knot form inside of my stomach. Gary talks about me? Not in a bad way I hope and I really hope he hasn't said _too_ much about us either. "Relax, mate. Nothing bad, I'm only playing with you! Oh and he bought you that aswell. I was tempted to drink it thinking that you wasn't going to turn up." He chuckles whilst pushing the glass closer towards me.

 

"T...Thanks. I really wish he'd stop wasting his money on me."

 

 _"Wasting_ his money on _you?!_ He's crazy about you and he sends me crazy talking about you!" Playfully he rolls his eyes.

 

"Erm...I...I didn't...know he spoke about me...s...sorry...erh-"

 

"Mark." Tapping my hand, lightly he laughs. "It's fine. I haven't seen him this happy in all the time that I've known him, of course he's going to talk about his boyfriend...even if it is every single hour, minute and second of the day..."

 

_Boyfriend._

 

Did he just say?... _Boyfriend?_

 

"I...he said _that?"_ Blinking my eyes, I take hold of the glass of wine and a strange feeling grows in the pit of my stomach. Taking a long gulp of the liquid, Robbie raises his eyebrows at me, surprised over my reaction. "...We...haven't erm...spoken about the whole boyfriend kind of tag...I didn't think he would want to say anyth-"

 

"Ah ha! 'ere he is!" An arm wraps around the back of my neck and I flinch slightly, as my fingers immediately grip the the side of my scarf, until I realise who my predator really is. "Thought you weren't comin'."His fingers tug against my earlobes. For some reason he does that quite a lot to me, maybe it's a habit? Either way, it helps me to relax.

 

"And miss the gossip you've been saying to Rob about me? No chance. How're you?" We half hug and Gary briefly pecks my lips (of course he checks who is around when doing that, I wish things would be different...but I'm glad I can say in some way say he is _mine_ ).

 

"Gossip?!" Gary scowls at Robbie. "I only ever speak about you in a good way...you don't have a single flaw, mate." Sinking back into my chair, Gary notices my insecurity. Placing both of his palms on the tops of my shoulders, he presses his lips into my hair. "I mean it..."

 

Smiling up at him, our lips are hovering just inches away from one another's and I feel like I'm being tortured for not being allowed to kiss him, even being in this position is extremely risky.

 

Suddenly we get interrupted, but not by Robbie making a joke about throwing up over us making goo goo eyes over one another, but by an older looking man who has a sly look about him. "'scuse me." He speaks in a strong London accent and his bony finger taps against Gary's hand. The very hand which is still pressing slight weight onto my shoulders. "Are you... _Gary Barlow?_ The lad who sings in 'ere?" Gary blinks at Robbie, then to me, then back towards the older gentleman.

 

"Er...y...yeah it is and yes I do...most days in fact..."

 

Nodding his head, a half smile graces his lips. "Great. May I have a word?...In _private."_ Faintly he glares into mine and Robbie's direction and I feel my stomach flip. I've come across bad people whilst I've been sleeping rough and there's certainly something which makes me feel cautious being around him. He's at least in his late forties, black hair greased back and wearing a leather jacket that went out of fashion in the early eighties, looking down towards his feet, I turn my nose up and curl my lip at the sight of his footwear, don't even get me started on his shoes!

 

"Um, sure."

 

Gritting my teeth together, I feel my heart sink as soon as Gary removes his hands from my body. I have a bad feeling about this and it almost makes me feel sick. Staring at the two men walk towards the bar, they perch onto the bar stools and Gary offers him a drink. Moments later the blonde returns with a small glass which sort of looks like it contains...brandy? Ugh, even his taste in drink is awful.

 

"Hey!" The feel of a hand slapping against mine, causes me to flinch and spin back around in my seat.

 

"What?"

 

"Stop staring. He'll be fine." Rob pats the top of my hand, trying to reassure me with a gentle smile, but I'm not buying it. There's just something about that guy which I don't like.

 

"Have you seen him before?" Lowering my voice, I lean forwards across the table slightly. "He...he's giving me the creeps if I'm honest."

 

Looking behind me, Rob frowns his lips and shrugs. "Nope, must be a new un. There's usually a fair bunch of weirdos who end up in here...and I'm not just talking about Gary." He jokes and winks, whilst knocking back the liquid in his glass, but I don't feel like having a joke anymore. This is serious. "Gary's a big boy, Mark. If there's something wrong he can handle it. Besides...if you think he's creepy wait until you see Nigel, the guy who runs this shit hole."

 

"Hmm...yeah...I guess...I guess you're right." Peering over my shoulder, I notice the older male has his hand placed over the top of Gary's and Gary widely grins back. It looks like they're sharing a joke. Something bubbles inside of me.

 

_Jealously? Anger?_

 

Shaking my head I turn back to face Rob.

 

\---------------------------

 

"You what?!" Almost spitting his drink out, it's safe to say we've had a little _too_ much to drink. I've certainly had a few wines too many, entering the tipsy stage, maybe even slightly beyond that. It's past midnight and we're the only people left in the bar and of course Gary and Mister Weirdo. "You made Barlow come in his pants? Jesus." Chuckling loudly in the silent room, I can't help but giggle back.

 

"Shhhh...it was a slip of the tongue, don't tell him I told you that, alright?"

 

"I bet that tongue of yours has slipped in all sorts of places on Gaz's body." Rob slurs. 

 

"Stop it!" Almost choking on my laughter, I haven't laughed or drank so much in a long time. Actually, I can't even remember the last time, it was that long ago! "Here...I'll let you in on a secret of me own." Rob edges closer in his seat and listens carefully. "...One night...before me and Gary got...you know..."

 

_"Together."_

 

"Erh...when you put it like that...we are together...even if we don't call it dating." Skimming my tongue across my bottom lip, it now becomes a challenge to focus my eyes. "Anyway, one night he pressed me against the work surface in the kitchen shirtless wearing nothing but a tight pair of pants." The younger boy's jaw almost hits the table top. "...Then when he went back to bed...I quickly ran back to the bedroom and I wan-"

 

"Alright lads, time to go." Hearing the sound of the unexpected voice, it manages scare the life out of me. "Dirty stop outs." Shaking his head, lightly he squeezes my arm.

 

"Oh, you've ruined the fun! Mark was letting me in on your secr-"

 

"Speak soon, Gary. Nice meeting you." Again the male appears back into sight, shaking Gary's hand, he doesn't even look twice at me and Rob.

 

"Thanks again, mate. Really appreciate it." Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Gary doesn't take his eyes off of him and I even notice the man wink in return.

 

Is he flirting with Gary?!

 

As soon as he leaves the bar, leaving the three of us alone at last, instantly my eyes shoot up into Gary's direction. "What was that all about?" Slightly I snap.

 

"I'll tell you when you're sober." Winking down at me, still the anger and jealousy remains. I'm not drunk...not too drunk anyway. "Rob, your taxi is waiting outside. Come on, I need to lock up." Knocking back our drinks we stumble to our feet, thankfully Gary links arms with me so I don't end up going arse over tit.

 

\------------------------

 

As soon as we're back to the flat, my lips haven't left Gary's. Pressing them against every visible piece of skin on his body, the alcohol has settled during the journey and has mostly left behind arousal. "Christ, you're in the mood tonight, lad." Smirking against my mouth, I could happily let him take me here and now on the floor of his living room, but still sex doesn't seem to be on the cards...yet.

 

"Mmm...come on." Slamming the front door, I literally drag him into the direction of the bedroom. "...Gonna make you...feel so good, Gaz." I mumble against his lips, hearing his shoes make contact with the floor, our limbs tangle together and our fingers tug at each others hair.

 

_This is good._

 

"You always do..." Muttering against my cheek, we end up falling into a heap onto the bed, Gary's hard dick presses uncomfortably against my thigh. I'm so horny right now, I need to feel him without having restrictions this time.

 

"...Relax for me, Gaz." The room is dark, almost pitch black in fact, the street lights shining through the partly drawn curtains are our only source of light. Dryly Gary swallows and I know he's feeling sort of awkward, but we can't keep ruining his underwear. With the alcohol still swirling around my head, and with the best of my ability, I unzip his tightly fitted work trousers. As much as I love seeing how tight they are fitted mainly around his arse, I'd much rather see something else tonight. Gary's tented briefs tower in front of my eyes and my mouth waters at the sight. "Someone's excited to see me..." I've been dying to use that cheesy sentence at least once in my life and right now is the perfect moment. The blonde giggles and rests his head against the headboard of the bed.

 

"Could say that again..." Unbuttoning his shirt, frustration takes over seconds later after failing to undo the buttons, causing the shirt to be ripped from his body. Gasping by my actions, he doesn't speak a word, I know I'm going to feel incredibly guilty about that in the morning.

 

Running the back of my hand down the side of his face, it runs down his neck and towards his collar bone and shoulder. Feeling how tensed they've become, with my other hand, my fingertips delicately stroke against his inner thigh, trying to keep him calm. He shouldn't feel embarrassed about his body, certainly not after seeing me naked. Before I know it, Gary's hands are on my body this time. Tugging at my clothing and before I'm able to focus my eyes again, I'm left in just my boxers exactly like him. My dick throbs seeing the smirk and cheekiness glow on his face.

 

Sucking my bottom lip, I grip to the waistband of his briefs, peeling them away from his skin and allowing his cock to spring free right in front of my eyes. "...J...Jesus...fuck..." Hiccuping, I lick my lips at the glorious sight. His dick isn't much different to mine, maybe a couple of inches shorter but definitely thicker, possibly three or three and a half fingers wide. "S...so...fucking big..." In seconds, my hand strokes down the full length and Gary's toes curl.

 

"Mark..." Grunting softly, I lower my face so that my chin rests onto his thigh and I form a fist around his hard shaft.

 

"Shhh...it's OK..."

 

Lightly Gary smiles and nods. Grinning to myself, my tongue parts my own lips and swirls around the tip of Gary's dick. "Oh...oh my..." Repeating the action several times, very slowly I open my mouth a little wider, allowing the head of his cock to slide partly into my mouth. "Oh...fuck...M...Mark..." The older male stutters and a hand grips to the top of my head, grabbing a fist full of my hair, not that I mind...in fact it only spurs me on even more. I like it rough. Sliding him even further into my mouth it isn't long until he finally reaches the back of my throat and at first I almost end up choking. "Are you...are you OK?!" Loudly panting, worry fills Gary's eyes when he sees me gag at couple of times, but I manage to press my hand against his chest, forcing him to rest back against the headboard. It takes a couple more thrusts of his dick pressing against the back of my throat until I become use to it. It's been so long since I last gave a blowjob, of course I'm going to be a little rusty, not that matters now. Increasing the speed of my mouth on Gary, my own hand sinks underneath my body and into my own underpants, tending to my neglected cock. Stroking up the full length from base to tip, I stroke myself into the same speed as my moving mouth is working on Gary. The gagging noise soon becomes a turn on for Gary, most of the guys I've been with were put off by the sound of that and I even got put off when girls or guys sucked me off, but by hearing Gary's soft hums and the sharper pulls on the strands of my hair, I continue to make them. "...N...not gonna last...long...s...sorry..." Panting out, rapidly I increase the speed of my mouth as soon as I hear his confession.

 

Pulling off from his cock for a brief moment, my words vibrate against the sensitive skin. "Come in my mouth." I've never really enjoyed the taste on previous experiences, but Gary tastes so good, I just want to taste all of him. It only takes a few more thrusts and he finally lets go.

 

Calling out my name and shooting the warm liquid into the back of my throat, I swallow most of it, letting the rest dribble down my chin. His entire body shakes and his chest swiftly rises and falls. Unable to hold back any longer myself, quickly I pull away my boxers and my cock slides against Gary's, feeling his wet sticky skin rub against my own cock sends me insane. Rubbing myself up against his body, it only takes a few seconds until I copy his actions. "Fuck...oh fuck! Gary!" Dropping my face against the crook of his neck, his large hands press against my back whilst my teeth sink into the sensitive skin between his neck and collar bone. Bucking his hips against my body, I ride out my orgasm and my head violently spins. Peppering kisses against my jawline and neck, his hands stroke and down my back, helping me calm down and catch my breath back.

 

It feels like an hour has passed, but it's barely been a couple of minutes and Gary is first to speak. "...T...That was...oh,fuck..." Words can't even describe what had just happened, as silly as it sounds, I feel alive.

 

"...So good, Gary...so good..." Nuzzling my face against his neck, the tiredness has sunk into my body. Feeling too exhausted to even walk to the bathroom to get cleaned up, I end up curling up onto Gary's naked body. "...You're...you're amazing...I...I..." Unable to finish my sentence, my eyes become incredibly heavy and I feel Gary wrap the duvet around our naked bodies, not moving me an inch. 

 

"Sleep well, _my_ little butterfly..." Kissing the tip of my nose, I remain laying on top of Gary and resting in his arms.

 

What a perfect way to fall asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Mark's POV** _

 

Smoking from my E Cig, loudly I groan whilst laying in the bed, wearing nothing but one of Gary's over sized t shirts. "Think I'm dying...I'm not even kidding!"

 

"You really are drama queen, Marko." Gary laughs whilst combing his hair in front of the mirror.

 

"No I'm not...I need looking after...and someone to feed me chocolate all day...why don't you call in sick?" Peering through one of my eyelids, cheekily I smile into his direction. The blonde places the comb down onto the dresser and folds his arms across his chest.

 

"You've got a hangover, because somebody is a lightweight. And stop chuffing on that bloody thing, I'm going to stink of smoke!" Waving his hands in front of his face, he bats away the smoke.

 

"Fuck off am I a lightweight! Says the one! At least I didn't end up kissing someone..." Wiggling my eyebrows, Gary shakes his head. "And it's not a real cigarette!" Crossing my leg over the other, Gary almost ends up choking on his own tongue.

 

Oh, yeah...I'm not wearing anything on the bottom half of my body, _whoops._

 

"Christ, lad! I'm about to go to work and now I've got that image on my mind." Biting his bottom lip, he can't help but stare at my half naked body.

 

"If you stay home today...then maybe we can recreate last night...and I can do something about _that_..."

 

Pointing at the front of his trousers which shows off his visible growing bulge, shyly he smiles. Crawling down to the foot of the bed, I thread my fingers through the loop holes in his trousers, pulling him closer towards me so that his bulge now rests in front of my face. Dropping his head backwards, softly he moans. Nuzzling my nose against the front of his trousers, feeling the warm fabric against my skin. A hand pushes against my forehead seconds later which causes me to pout.

 

"Sorry, mate. I've gotta go...need to pay for this place haven't I?" Sadly he sighs, but I understand, I was only teasing after all, I'm not _that_ selfish.

 

"It's fine, Gaz."

 

"Sure you're going to be OK on your own? There's food in the fridge or cupboards so help yourself. I was planning on cooking us a meal once I'm home, if you fancy it?"

 

Widely I grin. "You really shouldn't make a fuss, Gaz. Honestly, I just enjoy being with you...that's more than enough."

 

"But I want to, it's about time I cook a proper meal for my _boyfriend_ instead of sticking something in the microwave."

 

For my _boyfriend_

 

My heart leaps a mile and I almost end up swallowing my E cig. "B..boy...boyfriend?"

 

"...Erh...yeah? If that's OK with you that I call you that...? Unless you want to be my girlfriend?" Gently he nudges me. "...But seriously, if you don't want me to refer to you as that, I understand because of us not being public and me not being...out, yet. I just thought because-"

 

"No...no..." Just hearing the word makes me speechless. Never in a million years did I think I would end up having a boyfriend, a real proper boyfriend this time. Not someone to get a blowjob off down an alley or a quickie with someone I'd never see again. "...I just can't believe...I...er...I don't even know what to say..."

 

Sitting onto the edge of the bed, he entwines our fingers together. "You make me happy, Mark. I'm proud to have you as my boyfriend...it sounds strange saying that seeing as I still haven't come out to my parents yet." Shivering at the thought, he lowers his head and sadly stares down at our fingers. "...But I will...I don't want to hide you, I want the world to know that I'm dating my...best friend."

 

"You're cute, you know that?" Stroking the side of his face, gently I press my lips against his.

 

"Can we...talk about _this_ when I get home?"

 

"That'd be nice." We quickly kiss again and he walks back over towards the mirror, giving himself one final look over.

 

"I shouldn't be too late, Nige only wants me for five hours and the shelter is giving me less and less work each time. Won't be long until the court settles it and I can finally leav- Oh...s...sorry I mean-"

 

Yeah, that kinda hurt, but I understand. It must be stressful having to carry two jobs around in one day and one of them where you're not even getting paid, what's the point of that? But then again, he broke the law and had to be punished and now he's being rewarded for his good work.

 

"It's...It's OK." Painting on a smile, I stop smoking.

 

Looking slightly guilty, he pecks my lips for the final time and shifts towards the door. "See you around six - thirty...?"

 

"Looking forward to it...have a good day..." Weakly I smile back, still feeling my head throb from the previous night. Gary lightly grins before opening the door. "Gary, wait." Immediately he stops by my voice, my mouth is open but nothing is coming out. Still, he's standing there, looking at me and waiting for an answer. "I...I...I...er...lo..." Chewing my bottom lip, abruptly I shake my head. No. "...Can...can you get me my lotion from my locker? Just...my neck's feeling a little dry and I don't want it to get sore...especially now the weather's getting colder."

 

Knowing that I wanted to say more than that, he goes ahead and nods anyway. "Of course. See you later."

 

"Thanks, bye." And he's gone.

 

\------------------------

 

_**Gary's POV** _

 

Jogging down the steps of the flats, after a quick sprint I make it outside to my car within five minutes. I'm turning twenty two in about four months time and I feel about fifty two. Mark's been behaving a little odd this morning, maybe because of his hangover or maybe because he's over thinking things. It isn't easy for him either, he wants us to be a couple...a _proper_ couple, not a couple behind closed doors, but we can't...not yet. I'm shitting myself thinking about telling my family, being gay isn't a bad thing, it's 2015 for Christ sake! Also, it's hard for Mark, because if people know we're dating he's going to end up homeless without a roof this time...sleeping rough again, of course I wouldn't let him sleep rough, but maybe it's a little too soon to have him move in at mine permanently?...Then again he does leave a few clothes at mine from time to time.

 

Just before I get chance to open my car door, my mobile vibrates in my pocket. Sliding it out, I scan the home screen, noticing that the message is from Mark. Surely he hasn't set fire to the place already?! Clicking it open, a beaming smile fills my face and lightens up my mood again.

 

 **Marky:** _Have fun today at work!!!! Give Jay and Nigel a kiss from me...... ;-)Xxx_

 

Yep, Mark's back. Noticing the figure appear in the front window of the flat, he's holding his phone against his chest and it looks like he's laughing. Bastard. Shaking my head, I smile whilst sticking up my two fingers at him in reply to the text. We give one another a quick wave, before I finally head to the shelter to begin my first shift of the day.

 

\-----------------------

 

_**Mark's POV** _

 

Popping two paracetamols into my mouth, I take a gulp of water to wash them down. Emptying my mouth with a swallow, my hands rest on top of the work surface. Gary knew. Gary knew I was going to say something. That word, I've never used it before. Three simple words.

 

_I. Love. You._

 

We've been dating (yes, I can finally give our relationship a name now) just over two months now? It's weird, Gary makes me happy and that's an extremely hard thing for someone to achieve, I've been emotionless since my parents died. Then suddenly this man appears in my life and boom I almost drop the L bomb so early into our relationship? At first when he confessed that he liked me and we kissed then ended sleeping together in his bed, I thought maybe he was just experimenting. Maybe after a few snogs and wanking sessions he would realise that, that all of this isn't the life he wants, but now...he calls me _his boyfriend._ He wants the real deal, exactly what I wanted the first time I laid eyes on him. It's weird how things change and how quick time slips away. I know some guys get edgy when they get told the person they're dating that they love them, not liked, but _loved_ , actually _in_ love with them. Gary could be one of those guys? We still don't fully know one another, but we're getting there. I hope tonight we can open up to one another, talk until the early hours of the morning, but then again Gary is cooking us a meal tonight. Just for the two of us, our first proper date. As much as I want to sit around and talk, opening up old wounds from both of our pasts (maybe Gary's had a harder time than me in life, I doubt it, but who knows?!), I'd rather leave that for another day, I'd rather spend the night sucking his dick after our meal.

 

Who said romance was dead?

 

\-------------

 

It's been about an hour and half since Gary left, so he must of arrived and started work. And I'm bored, very...very bored, the TV isn't helping either. I'm sick of watching Jeremy Kyle, it's been on for less than ten minutes and I'd rather not watch people yelling at one another or complain about their lives. Ugh, no thanks. Turning the TV off, I pace around the living room, thinking what I can do to keep myself occupied. I'm still wearing Gary's t-shirt and now I'm wearing a pair of my boxers, there wasn't any point of walking around the house naked when Gary isn't here to grope me. Walking towards the bedroom, I notice there's another door near the bathroom. I haven't really had chance to look around Gary's flat, we mainly spend our time in the bedroom or living room, I've barely even been in the kitchen area.

 

Opening the wooden door, I peer my head inside, it's small, much smaller than any other room in the flat, maybe it's just storage? Turning on the light, I notice there's a small desk and a chair which sits in front of the window. There's a keyboard on the table and there's a notepad next to it, also a few balls of crumpled up paper which has been tossed around the table. This must be where Gary comes to practice before his sets at the pub, it makes sense.

 

Pulling back the chair, I sit myself down and I find myself turning on the keyboard. I haven't used one in such a long time, I still remember a few notes in my head, but I prefer to work on a guitar. Sadly I had to sell that when I started sleeping rough, it was either keep my pride and joy or eat. Pressing my fingers randomly onto the white keys, softly I hum by the out of tune sounds. I've missed working with music, but most of all I've missed writing. So much has happened since I last put pen to paper, maybe I could ease my boredom by having a little bit of harmless fun...?

 

\------------------------

 

_**Gary's POV** _

 

Focusing on work is becoming even more difficult by the minute. I've been here for forty five minutes and all I can think about is Mark, even more so about last night and this morning. The way he sucked me off last night, taking me fully to the back of his throat, no girl that I've been with has taken me that far when giving me a blowjob, then again I've only had two blowjobs in my life by two different girls, both inexperienced, being too young I suppose. They say third time lucky, right? I shouldn't be thinking about all of this now, not whilst I'm sorting out dirty laundry, I can't go off hiding into the nearest bathroom to toss myself off to the image of Mark on his knees and taking me whole. I want to know what it feels like, I've never had a dick in my mouth before (of course I haven't, all this boyfriend stuff is new to me). I wonder if he likes receiving as much as he likes giving? Would tonight be a night to see? A romantic meal and maybe I can return the favour afterwards? Feeling my trousers tighten, a voice calls my name and I'm knocked out of my fantasy.

 

"Gary? You alright, love?"

 

"Huh?" Almost stumbling over my own feet, Mary appears alongside me. "Ah...y...yeah, thanks. How're you? Haven't really seen you around here." Forcing out a smile I continue placing the coloured shirts into the correct piles.

 

"Y...Yeah I'm...doing good, I suppose. You seem to be daydreaming, just stopped by to see if you were OK. You're due to be on your break soon, right?"

 

Glancing down at my watch, lightly I nod my head. "In three minutes to be exact."

 

"Good...I...I mean...I know you're already know what I'm going to ask, but can we have a word? In private? It wont take long..." The brown haired woman nervously looks me in the eyes.

 

About Mark

 

 _Me and Mark,_ infact

 

Has she grassed us up? I didn't notice we were that obvious when we're here together? Oh shit, don't say she's told Jenny. Or maybe Jason's snitched us up? He's got it in for Mark and me too now ever since I gave him that bollocking. "I'll just finish this last pile..."

 

"Come into the staff room once you're done, it's more private in there. Jason's out for lunch and Jenny isn't in until later. There's a couple of staff around so the shelter will survive without me for a few minutes." Lightly she smiles and hurries away.

 

What am I going to say? What am I even going to do? I don't know Mary like Mark does, like he's said before, she's like his second Mother. Maybe she wants to have a talk with me like the Dad's usually do when their daughter gets a new boyfriend. I'm not good at talking. I wish Mark was here. Maybe I should text him? No, I shouldn't worry him, I need to man up.

 

Once the last items of clothing has been placed into the correct pile, I walk into the staff room where Mary is sitting behind the desk, stirring her cup of tea which sits in front of her. Faintly she smiles when she notices I've walked into the room, offering me some coffee, but I end up refusing. Taking the seat opposite her, my palms press together and sweat builds up on my forehead. It feels like my school days all over again, expecting a good telling off and a lecture. The clock ticks, deafening me in the awkward silence, I should be leaving soon to go to work. "Mary, listen...I-"

 

"You're dating, Mark."

 

The words are softly spoken and it takes a few seconds until they register into my head. It sounded so casual, almost like it's been going on for too long. Maybe it has. "I...I...-"

 

"All I want is honesty, I know Mark is lying. He might not be my blood, but I know that boy inside out like he's my own. I've known about his crush since day one and I know you've said many times before that you're straight and it sounds to me you've been living in denial. When Mark becomes a little too friendly around you, you don't care, you just act normal."

 

"We're just close, that's all. Me and my mate, Rob, we always do these kind of things." Shrugging my shoulders, it's true. Me and Rob use to always fool around, he use to flirt but not mean it, it's just a bit of fun, except when me and Mark do it, it's _real._

 

Running a hand through her hair, sharply she sighs. "He's been staying at your place, hasn't he?"

 

Averting my eyes towards my hands which rest in my lap, I feel my heart swell. I hate lying, I seriously hate it and I dislike the fact I have to hide Mark away. "...Why can't you just drop it? Why can't you all just leave us alone? We're not doing any harm...?"

 

Reaching out across the desk, she takes hold of my hand when she notices the tears burning in my eyes. Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why does happiness have to end?

 

"Sweetheart, you're not doing any harm to anyone. You can't help who you fall in love with...all I ask is you both to be careful, OK? It's not fair having to hide this relationship. Have you spoken to your parents?" Still avoiding eye contact with the woman, dryly I swallow. "...I'll take that as a no." Removing her hands from mine, she strokes the side of her palm against her face. "...All I ask...is for you to look after him, promise me that?"

 

Slowly lifting my eyes to look at her, her face hardens and a serious look glows on her ageing face. Nodding lightly, nervously I drum my fingers against my thigh. "...Of course, I will..." Whispering out the words, my heart hammers against my chest. Even though the clear words haven't been spoken, I've basically just admitted I'm dating Mark. He's going to kill me. "...I...I...I've got to go...Nigel won't be happy about me being late."

 

Faintly she smiles and simply nods her head. "Send my love to Mark."

 

"Yeah, see you...soon." Not even allowing her to say goodbye to me, swiftly I leave the room.

 

What if she tells Jenny about my confession? What if she tells Jason?! He's going to be a right prick when he finds out with the whole _'I told you so'_ smug attitude. Or worse...what is she tells my parents?! They're going to hate me, they're going to regret ever bringing me into this world.

 

I feel sick.

\--------------------------------

 

Hearing my mobile vibrate against the dashboard, I inhale a sharp intake of air before answering. "Hello...?"

 

"Ah ha! There you are! How are you feeling?" Robbie's voice sounds on the other end of the line, he sounds happy, too happy for his normal self...he's probably high.

 

"Rather shitty actually, I'm on my way to work. Are you popping in at all? Nigel's toy boy is probably on duty tonight though."

 

"Erh...I'm a bit...busy tonight so I can't. What's wrong? Had an argument with lover boy?" Playfully he jokes. Why is he so obsessed with mine and Mark's relationship? Then again, I owe him a lot for getting us together...in a way.

 

"No...no we're good...well, he was acting kinda strange this morning. I guess it was because of his hangover, he was going to say something to me but changed his mind. I'm going to cook him dinner tonight when I've finished at work."

 

"Ay up, where's my invite?!"

 

"...It's just for the _two_ of us, Rob."

 

Lightly he laughs. "I know, I'm joking. So... this dinner is a ticket to get into his pants?"

 

Scrunching up my face by the use of his words, I frown. "Straight to the point, eh Rob? And no...it's not. Well, not yet, we're building up and taking things slow...although...I was wondering if you could help me out..."

 

"It's not hard, Gaz. It's exactly how you have sex with a woman but you have to put your di-"

 

"I know! I know!" Pulling into my usual car park space, I remove my keys from the exhaust. "I gathered how you have sex with a man...I was wondering about something...something else..."

 

"...You've lost me."

 

My cheeks burn and my hands become a little sweaty. This is embarrassing to ask. "Well...last night...he...er...well he...-"

 

"Gave you a blowie?"

 

 _Wow_. He's good.

 

"Er...y...yeah...and I was...um...wondering-"

 

"...How to give him one back?"

 

Closing my eyes, my free hand rests against my forehead. "...Yes."

 

"But you've had them given to you before, right? And you just had one last night...? Remind me not to use anything Mark's had his mouth on again, thanks for the image by the way!"

 

"Rob, I'm being serious. I need advice...I want to cheer him up, because...I think I've fucked things up for him at the shelter, I don't want to ruin this as well."

 

Softly he sighs and there's the sound of a lighter being flicked on the other end of the line. Inhaling whatever it is he's smoking, loudly he coughs before speaking again. "Well, you've never sucked one before so Mark will be your first, right?"

 

"...Yeah. God, this is stupid and embarrassing."

 

"Do you want my advice or not?"

 

"Yes...sorry."

 

"Good." Clearing his throat with yet another cough, I roll my eyes. I wish he didn't smoke as heavily as he does, his lungs will be knackered before he's twenty. "You've just got to test out your gag reflexes really, don't ask me how I know all of this." Robbie is much younger than what me and Mark are, but he acts like he's in his early forties. But he's right, all of the advice I've ever asked him for he's probably tried it himself, so it wouldn't surprise me if he has had a few gay flings through the years. "Either use something large enough to represent the size of a dick...I don't know, a cucumber? Or even just use your fingers, just try it for a few minutes, you'll gag but you won't die."

 

"That sounds so wrong."

 

"Well, no one is going to see you doing it. Just make sure Mark's out of the room when you do it, otherwise you'll look even weirder than what you already do." Loudly he laughs.

 

Rolling my eyes, I lock the door of my car. "Cheers for that Rob."

 

"Anytime! Oh and by the way, this advice isn't free y'know." Even though I can't see his face, I can plainly picture him smirking and giving me a wink whilst speaking that sentence.

 

"As long as you don't tell Mark...or anyone else for that matter...I'll buy you all the booze you want. Anyway I best be off."

 

Again he coughs and there's a smile present in his tone of voice. "Bloody love you, Gaz. Alright have a good day with sad sack and...have great night tucking into your sausage dinner..." Cheekily he jokes.

 

Oh, he's loving this, isn't he?!

 

"Um, yeah...thanks."

 

\---------------------------------

 

**_Mark's POV_ **

" _Oh yeah. Say it can be, It will be, Hallelujah, us forever now..._ "

 

Dropping backwards in the swivel chair, my pupils dilate and my fingers remained pressed on the keys. Grimacing slightly, I shake my head whilst staring down at the words which have been messily scribbled down onto the notepad. Have I just...written a love song?

 

A _love_ song.

 

Picking up the pad, my eyes scan over the listed words, just as I'm about the tear the page out and rip the paper up into a million pieces, the front door slams shut, causing my heart to leap into my throat.

 

"Marky? Where are you, mate? I've knocked off early to do some shopping. It wasn't busy and Nigel was in a good mood for once...are you in the shower?" Breathing faster, in a panic, I end up throwing the notepad behind the desk, before scurrying out of the room. "Ah, there you are! What were you doing in there?"

 

Licking my lips once over, I stare at the man standing in front of me who's arms are loaded with white carrier bags, I look at him almost like he's got two heads.

 

"...S...Sorry...was just being...nosey..."

 

Lightly Gary smiles and takes a stride forwards, connecting our lips briefly. "These four walls sending you crazy already? I know that feeling." Walking into the kitchen, he places the bags onto the floor. "...I didn't know what to do, so I thought I'd do something simple. Stir fry OK with you...?" His voice echoes.

 

Walking into the kitchen I lean against the door frame. "...Sounds great...use to be my favourite, actually."

 

Taking the ingredients out of the plastic bags, neatly he sets them out onto the work surface along with a bottle of white wine.

 

"See, I can read your mind." Laughing under his breath, but seconds later he suddenly frowns. "...I read it that much, I've ended up forgetting to buy soddin' peppers. Forget me head if it wasn't screwed on. I better go and-"

 

"I'll go." Blurting out, Gary freezes by my response.

 

Eyeing me up, confusion fills every inch of his face. "...But... you're not dressed?"

 

Shrugging my shoulders, faintly I smile. "I won't be long. I'll just put me jeans on and wear my coat over the top half. I need some fresh air anyway."

 

Gary scratches his chin and nods. "Well, alright then. As long as you're sure." Taking out his wallet, he hands over a five pound note. "...You can keep the change for bus fare in the week. Don't be too long, yeah? I...I...er...got a surprise for you before dinner."

 

 _"Oh?"_ Rising an eyebrow, lightly I smirk. "In that case...I bet get me skates on." Pecking Gary's lips, I hurry out of the room to get dressed.

 

I wonder what he has in mind...?

 

\----------------------

 

_**Gary's POV** _

 

Once the onions have been chopped and seasoned in one pan and the beef in another, I lean against the work surface. Mark's been gone roughly about ten minutes, which means he's due back any minute now. Reaching inside the last carrier bag, I pull out the final object.

 

_This is ridiculous._

 

Pinching my lips into a straight line, I remove the outer packaging and I rub the palm of my hand against the rough green skin. Moving it towards my mouth, very lightly I run my tongue down one side, allowing my teeth to lightly graze the vegetable's flesh. With the thought of Mark walking in any second now, I speed up my actions. Closing my eyes as tight as possible, heavily I sigh, before moving the cucumber inside of my mouth inch by inch, allowing it to slide across my tongue. As soon as it makes contact with the back of my throat, I gag immediately. "...Oh, fuck..." Hissing through my teeth, slightly annoyed, my eyes widen. This isn't going to work. Again, I repeat the action another three more times, only this time I move it slowly, very slowly into my mouth, engulfing a few inches to begin with before working it closer to the back of my throat. The gagging calms and I work up a steady pattern of it inside of my mouth.

 

I must look like a right weirdo, sucking off a cucumber, what has my life come to?!

 

"Sorry, Gaz. I went all over the supermarket, but they didn't have any red peppers...I hope orange and green are-"

 

Still with the cucumber half way inside of my mouth, my eyes snap open and they focus onto the small male who's standing at the kitchen door way. Both of Mark's eyebrows are raised and his mouth is slightly ajar. "I...am...am I...er...interrupting...something?"

 

Throwing the cucumber which is coated in saliva into the sink, furiously my cheeks burn, almost like a teenage boy who's just been caught by his mother watching some porno movie on his laptop. "...Y...You're...back?"

 

"Erh...yeah?" Placing the single carrier bag onto the work surface, he eyes me up and down. It feels like my legs are about to give way, I've never been so embarrassed in my life. "...Did you get a bit... hungry?"

 

Wiping the bottom of my chin using the back of my hand, shyly I smile by his question.

 

"...Um, somethin' like that..."

 

Nodding his head, his eyes refuse to leave mine. "...Gary?...Is everything...er...is everything O-"

 

Taking a couple of steps closer to where he's stood, I cut off his sentence by firmly pressing my lips against his. Wrapping an arm around his waist, I close the thin gap inbetween our bodies. It doesn't take Mark long to return the gesture, placing a hand onto the back of my neck whilst the other claws down my back. Sliding my tongue into his open mouth, loudly he moans against my lips, sending vibrations down my spine and blood rushes towards the end of my cock. Noticing my growing bulge in my tightly fitted trousers, Mark begins to grind his hips against mine, almost like he's on fire and trying to put himself out. Breaking the kiss minutes later, heavily I pant whilst he remains in my arms.

 

"...Christ, Gaz...that...that was..." Blinking his eyes, he stands searching for the correct word. _"...Incredible..."_ Chewing the bottom of my lip, faintly I smile down at him.

 

Sliding my hand down to reach his, I take a firm hold of it. "Come on..."

 

"W...What...what about dinner...?"

 

With a flip of the switch, dinner is put on hold. "That can wait." Tugging him with my remaining energy, softly we both giggle like little children as we approach the bedroom.

 

As soon as the door closes, Mark's back on me. Pushing me against the closed door, he kisses a trail up and down my neck and his teeth nibble against my earlobe and he gently bites near my collarbone. Feeling the heat rapidly rise and Mark's erection uncomfortably press against my thigh, arousal replaces my nerves. "...On...on the bed..." Groaning out the simple words, Mark freezes to the spot.

 

Pulling back slightly, he looks me deep in the eyes. "...A...Are you...sure?"

 

"...Yeah, _very._ " Licking my bottom lip, the brunette smirks and obeys my instruction. Sitting on the edge of the bed, his breathing increases as soon as I walk towards the foot of the bed, dropping to my knees, firmly I hold onto his thigh. Weakly smiling up at him, my heart loudly thumps against my chest, swiftly I move my hands towards the hem of his boxers.

 

"...Now I get what you were doing in the kitchen with that cu-"

 

"Shhh...no talking." Again my cheeks glow a slight pink from the memory. That's going to scar my mind until the day that I die.

 

Pulling the thin material down to rest at his shins, his cock springs free and a sigh of relief escapes from his open mouth. Staring down at it, I notice that it's a few inches longer than my own, but not as wide and certainly not as wide as the cucumber, maybe a little less than that...thankfully. It's perfectly shaped and perfectly sized. With a shaky hand, I wrap a fist around the tip which causes Mark to loudly groan by my contact. It seems that Mark is rather vocal during these kind of situations, imagine him during sex.

 

Oh, fuck that image.

 

Squeezing my hardening self through the fabric of my own trousers, I look at the younger man. His eyes are closed and his mouth is slightly open, with his fingers pressing against the side of my head. I hope he isn't going to be _too_ rough. Very carefully I run my tongue down the tip of his cock until it reaches the base. At first it feels weird against my tongue, but not a bad weird. Repeating the action several times, the ball of Mark's feet press against the small of my back.

 

Still feeling extremely nervous about doing this, I wrap my lips around his tip, holding it there for a few seconds. Mark's fingers trace down my jawline, letting his thumb stroke against my cheek.

 

"Don't worry...I won't do anything you're not comfortable with..." Softly he whispers and the knot unties inside of my stomach. Pushing my mouth further down his cock, it takes a further three minutes until I've almost taken Mark's full length. "...Oh...that...that's it Gaz..." Gradually I move my mouth against him. "...S...so good..." Steadily I begin to move a little faster, until I begin to make the gagging noises, which for some reason don't make Mark feel uncomfortable to hear. His hands find their way back onto the top of my head, tugging at the strands of my hair, but not forcing my mouth onto himself at all.

 

Plopping off for a second, I use my hand to work on him faster. "...You taste...g...good...so...good..." I mutter against the side of his dick, tracing the veins with my tongue and tasting a mixture of my saliva and Mark's pre come. Removing my hand from his thigh, lightly my fingers skim against his balls, causing him to gasp.

 

"Oh...oh...Gaz...I'm...I'm gonna..." Wrapping my lips back around his cock, I thrust my lips against him in time with my moving hand. I can't believe I've actually got the hang of this and I haven't choked or made a fool of myself...yet.

I'm sucking Mark, I'm actually sucking Ma-

 

Suddenly a strange taste begins to fill my mouth, it tastes very similar to the precome from earlier, but this time it's slightly warm and lots more of it.

 

"Arrghhh...fuckin' hell, Gary!" Loudly Mark calls out, sinking his fingertips into my skull before collapsing onto the bed. Choosing to swallow the come, half of it manages to dribble down my chin as soon as Mark slides out of my mouth. Wiping my mouth onto my t shirt, I watch Mark pant for his breath back whilst staring up at the ceiling. "...I...I don't know...what to say...sorry for not lasting long..."

 

Biting the tip of my tongue, I sit down so my backside rests on the back of my ankles whilst I remain on the floor. "...I...It was...my first time doing that...sorry if I wasn't up to the usual standards..." The nerves fill my body once again, causing me to become insecure. 

 

Using his remaining strength to lift his head, he frowns at me. "Are you...kidding?!...I can't even describe how good it felt...much better than any other blowjob that I've ever received. They couldn't suck a cock to save their lives!" Sitting up, he places a hand onto my shoulder to steady himself. "...I love how you can take it so well...and the fact you swallowed afterwards... was more than a turn on." He growls.

 

"I didn't know what you preferred and some of it went down my throat before I realised anyway..."

 

"As long as you're comfortable, anything pleases me...trust me..." Winking at me, very lightly he pecks my forehead, before rubbing his nose against mine. "...Let's get that dinner cookin'..."

 

Eyeing up his softening cock, I take his hand in mine whilst delicately trailing kisses along his knuckles. "Couldn't wish for a better night..."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Gary's POV** _

 

  
It's been two weeks since I gave my first ever blowjob, and since then, it's almost been every single day, maybe even _twice_ where I've given him one. He says that I'm getting better each time, he loves feeding my ego. Although he was pissed at me for telling Mary about the pair of us, we had our first argument, which almost turned into make up sex later on in the evening, but...I bottled it.

 

Today Mark is over at mine and instead of rushing into touching one another, we decided to talk and open up to each other...however, I've finally stocked up on _certain_ supplies, who knows what tonight will bring.

 

  
"What's your earliest childhood memory?" Mark asks, whilst draping an arm over the back of the couch.

 

  
"Erh...suppose... when I was seven, me parents bought me my first keyboard. Only because I was screaming in the street when I first saw it, they couldn't afford it, but I ended up getting it."

 

  
"Spoilt brat." Smirking at me, he shakes his head whilst taking a sip of his wine.

 

  
"Yours?"

 

  
Tensing up slightly by the question, already I understand why. "...Erh... p...probably when I use to go...er...footie with me Dad. I was about eight or nine... Mum wasn't keen on me wrecking my best clothes, so for my birthday they bought me a full kit. I even went to school in it once. Loved it..."

 

  
Warmly I smile at him, whilst placing my hand onto his knee. "...Were you close to your parents?"

 

  
Shrugging his shoulders, his face hardens and a serious look grows on his face. "Some days more than others...Mum suffered depression later on in life. Dad was up to his eyeballs in debt and with another child coming along, I couldn't blame them. Times were better when I was younger, you know? Parents try not argue when you're small, they just try and protect you and pretend that life is full of rainbows..."

 

  
"I know what you mean...but you're...happy now, right?"

  
"With _you_...yes. When you wasn't in my life, it was about surviving and wanting life to end as quickly as possible...I'm not proud of certain things I've done in my life, but I'd rather not go there if you don't mind...?"

 

  
Lightly I nod my head. Even though he hasn't said it in much detail, it pains me to think of Mark hurting. "...Whenever times get rough...or you're ever upset, you promise to tell me, OK?"

 

  
"I'll try me best." Squeezing my thigh gently, he gives me a toothy grin. "...So...ever had a long term relationship?"

 

  
Scratching my ear, I reach for my glass of red wine from the coffee table. I'm gonna need it. "...Er...yeah...I've had little relationships here and there...but my longest was...two years."

 

  
"Two years?!" Mark squeaks. "Christ, mine barely lasted two minutes, never mind two years!" Sitting back against the sofa's arm rest, he places his feet onto my lap. "...Were you in love with...um, I'm guessing they were a _'her'?"_

 

  
Pausing for a moment, I picture her in my mind. I haven't thought about her for some time. Slim, shy, short blonde hair, a real natural beauty. "...Yeah, I believe I was."

 

  
"W...What happened...? If you don't mind me asking..."

 

  
Tapping my finger against my glass, I drain it before allowing Mark to refill it. "...Just didn't work out, I suppose. I didn't see it not working out actually, I was blind to the truth. I was...about sixteen? Seventeen? I've probably told you that I've either not had a girlfriend or I haven't had one in my teenage years, if so...I was lying just so I didn't have to talk about my past. She wanted a family, she was slightly older than me at the time, but she had her head screwed on. I wanted a career, I wanted to make something of myself...I do want kids and marriage and all that, but at that age? No chance. I was doing me singing and she'd be doing her dancing, we didn't work together or anything like that, but I had the dream of seeing my name up in lights...she wanted to settle down. I only just left school and wanted to go for my goals...with a family that would just end them before they even began, I know that sounds horrible." Deeply I sigh, whilst rubbing my thumb against my eyebrow. Mark's eyes haven't left mine once and his face is full of interest and concentration. "...I was selfish and I lost the person who I first ever loved. It made me open my eyes, made me change. That's why I stopped so much of the singing and went and got myself a job. It was only cleaning and stuff at the bar, until I got old enough to work behind the bar. It was a dark time through the break up, but I don't blame her for leaving me. Who could ever live with such a self centered person like I am?...Well... _was_... now, I hope. I hope I'm not like that anymore. I did some awful things, I shouldn't of let Rob talk me into half of the things which I did, but I just wanted to get away from reality, you know?"

 

  
"I...I get what you mean, Gaz...it must of been an awful thing to experience." Guilt shows on Mark's face, maybe I've spoken too much.

 

  
"Y...Yeah, it was." Awkwardly I clear my throat with a cough, feeling sudden tension between the pair of us. "...Have you ever...been in love?"

 

  
Thinking for a brief moment, he shakes his head seconds later. "No...well, not really. I fancied the pants off this guy when I was sleeping rough. He was the only one who wouldn't rob off me when I was sleeping on a doorstep, even gave me his lunch box, said he wasn't feeling very well, but I didn't believe that...I knew he was just being nice to me. I knew from the start I'd never get a chance with him, I mean, he wore a suit. An actual three piece suit! He was a young business man, why I ever thought he'd fall for homeless guy, I'll never understand. I guess sleeping on the streets sends you coo coo. The last time I saw him, we ended up kissing on the park bench after having coffee and ice cream, later on I discovered he had a girlfriend. Bloody typical, eh? I opened up to him and I regret ever laying eyes on him."

 

  
"He shouldn't of led you on like that...did he ever explain why?"

 

  
Smacking his lips together, he places the empty wine glass onto the table. "Nope. I guess he was just experimenting with his sexuality. That's why I didn't want to rush things when we first got together, you said you were straight and that made me think you were just testing that."

 

  
Hearing his words, shocks me slightly, making it hard to string together a sentence. "...I wouldn't have it in me, Mark. I wouldn't be able to hurt you...that's just not who I am..." It kind of hurts knowing he actually thought I was just using him, but it's understandable knowing now what he went through.

 

  
"It was stupid of me to compare you to him, but... I've never had a proper relationship before. The only time I got with people was for...you know. That's why I was kinda shocked when you called me your boyfriend...I didn't expect it. I didn't expect ever kissing you either..." Taking my hand in his, he nuzzles his cheek against my knuckles. "...I'm sorry for behaving like a dick."

 

  
"You haven't...I'm glad you've told me these things..." Stroking the palm of my hand against the sole of his barefoot, softly he giggles. "...I'm very lucky to have you."

 

  
"Y...You think so...?"

 

  
"Yes. You're beautiful, funny, the kindest person I have ever met and I love how you tell me how it is. You make me love life." Gritting his teeth together, his bottom lip wobbles slightly by my words. "...I hate spending time apart from you, it makes me soddin' miserable. I never thought I'd end up spending my living days with a guy, but I'm glad you're the man I'm with. You make me complete, Mark. God that's so soppy and cheesy...think I've been listening to too much lovey dovey Elton stuff." Playfully I joke, whilst the tears sting in my eyes, I hate showing my weak side.

 

  
Seeing Mark's eyes fill, a tear slides down his cheek and disappears into the fabric of his black vest top. "...You make...you make me so happy, Gary." Leaning forwards, tightly he wraps his arms around the back of my neck and begins to cry against my chest.

 

  
"Oh, Mark. I'm sorry." Hearing him cry breaks a piece of my heart. "...Shh...don't cry, it's OK." Rubbing his back up and down, I nuzzle my nose into his hair, before trailing kisses down the nape of his neck. Pulling away slightly, he blinks away the loose tears. "...Mark-" Swallowing dryly, my throat tightens. "...M...Mark...I...I...I love...you..." The words fall out of my mouth, sharp and quiet. We've been dating for a little bit over three months now and already I'm speaking the words I never expected to say to another person again. Maybe it's too soon, maybe it's too-

 

My words are cut off by a pair of lips firmly pressing against my own. Tasting the salt on the tip of my tongue from his tears, I place my glass down without breaking the connection, whilst pulling him closer. It's not a passionate kiss, just slow and gentle, flicking my tongue against his lips and the tip of his tongue, we take our time to explore one anothers mouths. Squeezing his foot in one hand and stroking his back with the other, softly the brunette mumbles against my lips. Breaking away as slow as possible, I open my heavy feeling eyelids. "...Sorry, what did you say...?"

 

  
"...Can...can we...erm...go to the bedroom?" His cheeks have turned a light pink and his hand rests against his crotch.

 

  
"Of course..." Speaking with a small smile, we take the bottles and glasses into the bedroom. Neatly I place them onto the bedside table and I turn the nearby lamp on. Spinning around on the spot, I notice that Mark's laying on the bed, looking up at me with a faint smile present on his face and his eyes are full of lust. He looks so gorgeous, but...nervous, but extremely turned on. Crawling onto the bed, I place my hand onto his hip whilst staring deep into his eyes. "...Do you want me to turn the light...off?"

 

  
"It's...it's fine..."

 

In seconds we're kissing again, this time faster and more passionate. Feeling him straddle the lower half of my body, my hands snake up his vest top, stroking my palms against the burning flesh on his back. Already I begin to get hard, but it seems he was hard since we kissed in the living room. Very lightly he grinds his hips against mine, rubbing his erection against my trousers, sending us both insane. Delicately, he presses his hands flat against the side of my head, whilst sucking onto the tip of my tongue. My mind melts and the arousal grows inside of me. As soon as the kiss ends, his lips continue to press elsewhere on my body, especially around my neck, he always loves kissing my neck and enjoys it when I squirm underneath him in response. Curling my toes, feeling his teeth graze my skin, again I blurt out the words I fear are too soon for me to say.

 

  
"...I...I want... _you_..." Mark freezes instantly, but still he remains in the same position, allowing his warm breath to make contact with the damp spot on my neck. Moments later, he pulls back and gives me a light smile again, before reaching over to the bedside drawer. Taking hold of the supplies, I notice the look of fear with a hint of worry growing in his eyes, but he refuses to look at me. Watching him fiddle with the foil pack, I take a firm grasp to his wrist. "A...Are you...OK? You look...nervous...?"

 

  
Sucking onto the bottom of his lip, it takes a while for him to answer and even longer for him to look at me again. "I...I...I just want your first time to go good...that's all."

 

  
"Don't worry about me." Sitting up, I peck the tip of his nose.

 

  
Looking a little more relaxed, faintly he smiles. "D...Do you want me to put it on you? Or do you prefer to do it yourself...?"

 

  
Licking my bottom lip, I rest the back of my head against the headboard. "...C...Can you...do it?" Hoarsely I speak and I feel my cock twitch in my trousers at the thought. It's almost worrying how much I sound like a nervous, but horny virgin. 

 

  
"Sure." Undoing the button on my trousers, the zip is dragged down the metal teeth, happily he hums to himself whilst undressing me. Kicking away my trousers, he removes my socks before discarding my shirt. Ripping open the condom wrapper with his teeth, heavily I begin to breathe. "...Are you OK?"

 

  
"Y...Yeah. Oh god, yeah."Mark breathes out a laugh and hooks a finger underneath the waistband of my briefs, removing the restricting material away from my erection. Freezing his movements, his face drops at the sight of my hard cock. Panic washes over me suddenly, it isn't the first time that he's seen me naked and it certainly isn't the first time he's seen my dick. "Mark?" Wrapping my hand around his wrist, he flinches slightly and his stare is broken. "...What's wrong? Do you...do you not like the look of it now?" Feeling incredibly insecure, he picks up on my new feelings.

 

  
Pressing his eyes closed, he releases a sigh and places a hand onto my bare shoulder. "I...I'm...I'm sorry, Gaz. I'm just...overwhelmed that this is finally happening... and I do admit that I'm nervous...that's all. You're perfect..."

 

  
"Listen, mate. If you don't want to have sex, I won't get offended. It's still early days I guess, but I underst-"

 

  
"I want to. I _really_ want to." Taking both of my hands into his, lightly he drags his thumb over the tops of my knuckles. "...Sorry, it's...been a...while." He tenses. 

 

  
"Take all the time you need, I want you to be comfortable." Planting a lingering kiss onto his lips, very slowly I pull away whilst squeezing his wrist. Softly he smiles and his cheeks turn a faint crimson. Placing the circular latex over the tip of my cock, using his thumb and forefinger, he rolls it down until it reaches my base. Running his fingers back up the full length, they stroke against the visible veins through the condom. "Oh...yes..."

 

  
"How do you...want me...?"

 

  
Scanning the figure in front of me, lightly I smirk. "Undressed. Then make yourself comfortable." Nodding his head, he stands beside the bed and removes the rest of his clothes. Watching Mark strip away the clothing, I begin to give my dick some attention, stroking it up and down, whilst my eyes never leave Mark's body. "So...beautiful..." I find myself croak out as soon as the last item has been discarded, now just standing inches away from me is a naked Mark Owen. Letting go of my cock, I outstretch my hand, taking a firm hold of his wrist and pulling him towards me. My eyes face his stomach and my hands stroke up the smooth skin of his hips, noticing some scars on the lower half of his body, it shows I haven't really explored every inch after all. Noticing Mark become a little tense over my wondering eyes, I help him back onto the bed, this time he lays flat against the mattress. Taking out the lube from the drawer, I squirt a liberal amount into the palm of my hand, before coating three fingers in it. "Are...Are you comfortable enough?" Mark's eyes have widen slightly by the site of my hand and he pushes out a convincing smile.

 

  
"Yes."

 

  
"If it hurts, tell me to stop." Stroking a lube covered finger down the base of his cock, he hisses through his teeth as soon as it sinks inside of his entrance. Stilling my movements, the hot muscles clench around my finger, showing how tight Mark really is. He wasn't wrong when he said it has been a while. Seeing Mark's face calm minutes later, I begin to curl my finger whilst pushing it deeper. "...Like that?"

 

  
"Add...another." Obeying Mark's instruction, I add another finger, this time flexing both of them whilst thrusting deeper. "Oh...fuck..." With my free hand, I begin working his neglected cock, slowly running my fist from tip to base in the same speed of my fingers. The brunette throws his head backwards and deep into the pillows behind, whilst his hands squeeze tightly to the duvet. Slipping in the final finger, which is a struggle and is almost impossible, I move my hand as quickly as I possibly can, driving Mark completely insane. Pre come leaks out from his dick so I decide to lick it away, not taking my eyes away from Mark's reactions for a split second. "...G...Gary...please!" Heavily he pants out.

 

"...I...I...I think...I'm...I'm ready."

 

  
Hearing those words, very carefully I slide out my fingers. "How do you want to...you know?"

 

  
"Um...I...I'll...lay on my back with my legs on your shoulders or lower back?"

 

  
I breathe out a soft laugh. "Better you than me!" Opening his legs, he wraps them around my lower back.

 

  
"...What do you mean by that?"

 

  
"Because I'm not flexible. I'm surprised I can even lift me legs sometimes."

 

  
Mark smirks. "Well, you better get practising 'cos I'll be fucking you one day."

 

  
Not breathing a word, I just nod my head. I've never really thought about having a man have sex with me, even whilst being with Mark, I've never thought of myself as a bottom. Leaning forwards, I brush my lips against his whilst angling my cock against his entrance. Very slowly I begin to push myself inside, causing Mark's mouth to fly open and his eyes to slam shut. "Shhh..." Trailing kisses along his jawline, my other hand strokes his hip bone. "...I promise...not to hurt you..." Even after fingering him moments ago, he's still incredibly tight, making it a challenge.

 

  
"Oh...s...s...shit!" Digging his fingernails into the spine of my back, I freeze any kind of movement as soon as my entire length rests deep inside of him. Kissing his cheek then his lips, weakly he opens his eyes.

 

  
"I'm...going to move now..." Feeling the tightness of Mark's muscles is almost enough to make me lose it already. Seeing him vaguely nod in reply, I place my hand back onto his waist. "...Oh, oh fuck. You're so...tight." Squeezing my eyes closed, it almost becomes impossible to actually move inside of him. "...I...I don't...think...I can."

 

  
"Fuck...sake." Sounding slightly frustrated, Mark unwraps his legs from around my waist and places one on top of my shoulder, giving me better access. Pulling out very slowly until I slide completely out of his entrance, seconds later I push all the way back inside, repeating this action several times to open him more. "...Oh...oh god..." Getting carried away too soon, Mark's hand firmly grabs hold of my bicep. "Stop! Not _too_ fast!" He cries out.

 

  
"S...Sorry." Slowing my movements almost completely, I kiss the visible vein showing in his neck. "I'm...sorry. So sorry..." Muttering against his burning flesh, I begin to create a gentle pace with my hips, allowing Mark to get use to the feeling. Five minutes pass and Mark begins to relax underneath me, bucking his hips upwards, the wetness of his cock rubs against my naked torso.

 

  
"O...oh...fuck...I...I'm not...I'm not going to last long." Sinking his teeth into my shoulder, I take hold of his ankle to raise his leg. "...Faster...fa...faster...please..." Heavily he pants, writhing against me as he scratches my skin. Doing as he pleads, without teasing, I begin to increase the speed of my hips. Pounding inside of him, I feel myself swell, sending me closer to the edge. Removing my hand from his ankle, I wrap a fist around his hard dick, stroking it into the same speed of my thrusting hips. It only takes a couple of strokes until Mark spills his load against both of our bodies. "...G...G...Gaz...!" Dropping his head backwards against the pillows, he arches his back as I give my final thrust.

 

Pulling completely out of him, I tug off the condom, before releasing onto his stomach. "Ugh...fucking 'ell..." Loudly I groan out, feeling the orgasm crash over me multiple times.

  
_**\------------------------------** _

  
_**Mark's POV** _

 

  
Gary collapses beside me and his body begins to tremble. Feeling an ache in the bottom of my back, I wince as I lift myself to look at him. "G...Gary? You're...you're shaking?" Worriedly I watch as his entire body shakes.

 

  
"I...I know..." Panting for his breath back, the sweat drips from his forehead. "...S...So...so good..."

 

  
"Are you OK? What happened?!"

 

  
"I...I'm fine. Really." Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, he forces my head to rest against his naked chest. "...I...that was...the best sex...I've had in a long time. I guess my body isn't use to good sex." Tiredly he laughs.

 

  
Still feeling confused, I look up at him with a soft smile. "Yeah?"

 

  
"Yes." Entwining our fingers, they rest on top of his stomach. "...Are you in pain? Was it OK...?"

 

  
"...I'm aching...feeling really achy, actually...but...when the burning pain stopped, I enjoyed it." I feel too exhausted to even smile. 

 

  
Stroking my damp hair, he nuzzles the side of his face against the pillow. "Good...good..."

 

  
There's a minute's silence, the only sound which can be heard is from our breathing. Gary's eyes remain closed and his thumb strokes against my index finger, the guilt suddenly hits me. Chewing my bottom lip, I peer up at him through the golden lighting. "...Gaz...?" Lightly he snores with parted lips. He's dozed off already. "...Gary...?" Nudging him, he stirs in his sleep.

  
"Hmm?"

 

"I...I lied." I find myself stutter out seconds later. 

 

  
Gritting my teeth together, it takes a minute or two for Gary to force his eyes open after my confession. "...Eh?"

 

  
"I'm...I'm sorry." Bowing my head I feel the ache become more painful now and I feel extremely sore.

 

  
"Wait, what do you mean? What have you lied about?"

 

  
_"This."_

 

  
A serious look grows on Gary's face, but there's no anger...yet. What if he hurts me for lying? Would Gary do that? My stomach begins to flip.

 

"You...didn't enjoy it?"

 

  
"No, no. I did...I loved it, but-"

  
"But what, Mark?" Hearing the frustration in his voice, makes me feel even more nervous about confessing.

 

"...I...It..." Clearing my throat, the words come out in a short whisper. "...That...was my _first_ time..."


	13. Chapter 13

_**Mark's POV** _

 

Seeing Gary frown his eyebrows, causes my heart to sink. I've fucked things up, like always. Playing with my fingers, my eyes continue to avoid his.

 

"Why...why did you lie?" Hearing the serious tone in his voice, only increases my nerves.

 

"I...I, um...I didn't think you'd...want to have...sex with me...being so inexperienced an' all..." Timidly I speak. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I continue to avoid eye contact with him. It wouldn't be the first time I've lied to a guy before and it wouldn't be the first time I've been hit by one either...but Gary wouldn't do that, right?

 

Dropping his head back onto the pillow, deeply he sighs. "That _wouldn't_ stop me from having sex with you, after all, it's my first time with a guy too. It'd just make me be extra careful..."

 

"And you were...I just...I dunno...I didn't want to lie to you, I really didn't. I was ready, you wanted too aswell and it was the perfect moment after building up for the past weeks and months. I'm...I really am sorry for lying...I just didn't want you to pretend that I was made out of glass, I just wanted you to make love to me. I've ruined the moment now...haven't I?"

 

Closing his eyes briefly, he wipes the sweat away from his forehead. "...You haven't. I understand why you did it...I just wish you told me, I wouldn't of been mad at you, no one should be mad over something like that. I feel honored that I was your first time...well, with a guy." Reaching up to squeeze my shoulder, weakly he smiles. "I enjoyed it and I hope you did too...and I hope I made your first time... er...something to remember?"

 

Breathing a sigh of relief, I lay back down beside him underneath the duvet. "...Y...You did. Although, I know I'm going to hurt tomorrow...it was worth it..."

 

Massaging the top of my back with his palm, he pecks the tip of my nose. "I'm at work at six, but I'll be back before eleven-ish...so if you stay in bed, I'll pick up breakfast or something."

 

"You really wanna spoil me, eh?"

 

"I haven't made you breakfast in bed. Besides, you need your rest..." Tiredly he smiles.

 

"A lie in...breakfast in bed and...round _two?"_ Smirking to myself, the tiredness catches up on me. "...Can't wait..."

 

Lightly Gary chuckles and cuddles me closer towards his bare chest. "...Sweet dreams, babe."

 

_Babe_

 

Grinning like an idiot as soon as the light is switched off, I cling to Gary's chest.

 

I am the luckiest man alive.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_**Gary's POV** _

 

The sound of a loud bleeping rings through my ears. Snapping open my eyelids, I realise that it's my mobile's alarm screeching. Removing one hand away from the figure who rests in my arms, I switch it off with a sigh. The bedroom is still pitch black and Mark is still sound asleep. Nuzzling my lips against his bare shoulder, my heart sinks slightly. I don't want to leave him, I want to spend the entire day with him, but sadly that isn't going to pay the bills.

 

Sliding my arms away from his waist, softly he grumbles. "It's just me. I'm going to have a shower then leave for work. I'll see you in a few hours." Whispering against his ear, his cheek moves against my lips as he nods in reply. Pecking his temple, I finally force myself out of the bed. Mark instantly rolls onto my side of the mattress, soaking up the warmth from my figure and cuddles tightly to the duvet. The sight manages to weaken my heart and brings a smile to my aching feeling face.

 

Breaking my gaze away from the bed, I decide to hop in the shower.

 

\--------------------------

 

Once again it was another tough shift at work. Nigel's been chewing my ear lately, he says I need to get me head out of my arse and concentrate. He doesn't understand what it's like to be in love. Sad git. Thankfully it wasn't too busy today so I was able to finish early, I should really start looking for a new job, especially that I'll be leaving the shelter in a couple of days.

 

Parking my car into an empty spot outside the block of flats, I feel a flutter grow in the pit of my stomach. Even though I told Mark to stay in bed, apparently he got bored and decided to have a shower and get dressed, but at least I can take him shopping with me later. I wish things could be simpler, I want to do public things with him, like couples do, but I guess that will become easier when I finally come out...

 

Unlocking the front door, I hold onto the carrier bag handle containing our breakfast. "Marky? I'm home." I call as I open the door. Words cannot describe how good that feels to say out loud. 

 

"In the kitchen, Gaz!" A voice echoes and instantly a smile fills my face. Sliding the lock onto the door, I kick off my shoes before walking into the kitchen. Walking through the door, immediately I'm greeted by a pair of grinning lips and a shine of Mark's pearly whites whilst he's seated at the kitchen table. "Hiya!"

 

"Mmm hello." Grinning back equally as wide, I peck his lips whilst dropping the bag onto the centre of Mark's open newspaper.

 

  
"Had a good day?" He asks as he helps me slip off my jacket. How sweet is this man?! 

 

"Cheers." Dropping my jacket over the back of my chair, I reach for the bag. "The usual. Nige banging on about all kinds of shit, but I don't care. I'll be out of there soon. I got a call from that guy again this morning."

 

Mark arches a brow whilst rummaging through the carrier bag. "Mr Weirdo?"

 

"Eh, yeah. He said he wants me to go in possibly... Wednesday? Next week. Just to go over a few songs." The guy who I met at the bar a few weeks ago turned out to be a successful manager for music careers, and if I work hard enough and if my voice is well suited up to his expectations, my dream career could finally set off.

 

"Sounds good to me. If you want, I could go with ya, you know?...For support an' that?"

 

Tugging a strand of Mark's over grown hair to wrap it around his ear, I tilt my head onto one side whilst giving him a lopsided grin. "I'd love that." Patting his shoulder, I reach for the chair next to him. "How's your day been? Aching much?"

 

"A little, I was tempted to sit on your froze peas I spied..." Eyeing up the freezer lightly he chuckles. "...I've missed you, though."

 

"Oi they're for the Sunday roast!" Playfully I roll my eyes. "Awh, sweet. I've missed you too...like _always_..." Gently I rub his earlobe between my fingers. "...Now, how about some breakfast?...Sorry, nothing spectacular. Just popped into subway on the way home and managed to grab the breakfast deal."

  
  
"Anything is fine with me." Widely Mark grins when I hand him over the wrapped baguette. "I'm starving."

 

"I told you, you can get anything you want whether I'm 'ere or not, my place is your place."

 

"You're too kind. I could get use to thi-" The brunette's speech is interrupted by the sound of knocking on the front door.

 

Frowning my eyebrows, I place my sandwich onto the table before jumping to my feet. It's very rare I get visitors, maybe a couple of times I've had people knock who were looking for somebody else, but Mark and Robbie are the only people who actually knock to visit _me_.

 

"Won't be a sec."

 

Leaving Mark alone in the kitchen, happily I skip into the living room. Standing on my tip toes I peer through the peephole. "Gary? Come on, open up. We know you're in there, we've seen your car!" The familiar voice calls and a face fills my view.

 

"Shit. Oh, shit." Gritting my teeth, I latch onto the door handle whilst glancing at the open kitchen door.

 

It's my parents.

 

"Gary!" A fist knocks again.

 

"Erh, yeah...just a minute!" Inhaling a deep breath, I close my eyes for a brief moment. I have to get rid of them. Unlocking the door, we almost end up colliding. Taking a step back, My Father nearly lands flat on his face. "Um, what are you doing here?" Suddenly a smaller body pushes past the two adults and steps foot inside. "Tyler!" I scowl.

 

"Oh, hi Mum, hi Dad. Nice to see you, come in?" My Father sarcastically speaks and follows Tyler inside. The nerves rise inside of my body as they begin to examine my living room, with Mark just inches away in another room.

 

"You never said you were comin'?" Chewing my bottom lip, lightly my Mother smiles and gives me a peck on the cheek. "I...I was just about...to go out..."

 

"Nonsense. I've made a casserole, you can eat before you leave."

 

Closing the door as soon as My Mum walks inside, my stomach continues to churn. "I have a friend over, can't this wait?" Watching the three bodies walk into the kitchen, quickly I chase after them.

 

The door swings open and Mark's head turns into the direction of the creaking sound. The smile is soon wiped from his face.

 

"Oh...hello?" My Mum is first to speak as soon as she lays eyes on Mark. I guess it's a good thing after all that he decided to get dressed, I'm sure my parents wouldn't appreciate a naked gay homeless guy in my kitchen who's secretly my boyfriend. Immediately Mark's eyes search for me over the intruders, showing nothing but worry as his hand flies to his exposed neck.

 

"...H...H...Hello."

 

"Mum, Dad, this is Mark. Mark...this...this is my parents and brother, Tyler."

 

The younger male jumps to his feet and holds his free hand out whilst politely smiling. "...Nice to meet you."

 

"Mark...as in...the homeless boy you met at the shelter?" Mum asks, causing my Father to turn his nose up at Mark's offer of a friendly hand shake.

 

"As I were saying, I'm about to go out...so if we can make this another-"

 

"Tyler, grab some plates and cutlery." Tapping the smaller boy on the shoulder, he rolls his eyes before walking over towards the cupboards. "Is Mark staying for dinner?"

 

"Oh no, I should be getting-"

 

"Yes. Yes he is." Cutting Mark off, apologetically I look at him. "...I'll grab some more seats then..."

 

\------------------------------

 

Sitting beside Mark at the kitchen table, awkward doesn't even describe this family meal.

 

"...So, Mark. Do you work?" My Mother is first to spark conversation during the five minute silence.

 

Flicking half of the sausage around his plate, he sucks his bottom lip. "...I...I er...no...not at the moment-"

 

"Another sponger. Typical." Dad interrupts and barks out a laugh.

 

Mark gulps and I feel even guiltier for putting him through this. "...No...I don't sponge off anyone. I don't believe in claiming when you're fit enough to work... I'm looking, honest. I...I even asked Gary's friend, Rob, about searching around for anything for me, I will get work hopefully soon."

 

Snapping my eyes shut as soon as he mentions Rob's name, the sound of my Father's fork hitting against the porcelain sounds, followed by a laugh. "Ah, another drug dealer. Well, I don't know what's worse. Someone who lays on his back all day and ends up getting paid for it, or someone who puts others lives at risk just so he can get a flash car."

 

Confusion fills Mark's face and he looks at me for answers. "Dad, Rob isn't like that. You just see the bad in everybody..."

 

Noticing my Mum nudge my Dad slightly, Tyler continues to play on his video game instead of joining in on conversation or eating his dinner. Lucky him. "Stop being rude." She whispers under her breath and turns back to Mark with a tender smile present on her lips. "...Are you single, Mark? I'm sure a boy your age should be thinking about settling down with a girl by now? Maybe you could have a word with Gary about doing the same thing..."

 

What's this? Twenty questions?!

 

"Actually..." Placing down his cutlery onto his half empty plate, he wipes his mouth onto a piece of tissue paper which is used for a make do napkin. "...I'm, I'm gay."

 

I should of expected that as a reply, of course.

 

"Oh. Oh, right...I...I see..." Suddenly the sweet smile fades away from my Mother's face. I knew her politeness wouldn't last long after hearing that. Mark becomes even more tensed and his foot taps against mine, but I foolishly try my best to ignore it. "Gary use to go through phases when he was younger too, obviously not by saying he was gay or anything of that kind, but he use to be obsessed with that singer, Elton? I'm sure you are familiar with him. Thankfully he grew out of that."

 

"I still listen to Elton, Mum. There's nothing wrong with having a person who's gay as your idol."

 

"Whatever you say, dear." Winking at me, she reaches across the table for the jug of water to refill her empty glass.

 

"No...n...no, Mrs Barlow." Mark stutters out and plays with the table cloth. "It's not a phase...I am honestly attracted to men...and I'm actually in a relationship with one, isn't that right... _Gary?"_

 

My heart swells in my chest and I almost end up choking on my tongue. What on earth is he playing at?! Does he expect me to just blurt out my confession? Can I really just easily label myself as gay? Or bi? I can't, not yet. Feeling his eyes burn at the side of my head, his fingers skim across my knee underneath the table. "Er...I...er..."

 

"Christ, that's me put my dinner." Muttering under his breath and pushing away his empty plate, Dad frowns into Mark's direction.

 

"Um, Tyler don't listen to this grown up conversation, it's all nonsense, you know that boys can't love boys, right?" The female runs her bony fingers through the short strands of the younger boy's hair.

 

Still not paying attention, his mouth is slightly ajar whilst his vision is fixed to the screen in his hands, he replies with a simple nod. Mark removes his fingers away from my knee and sighs whilst the tears burn in his eyes. Holding my hand against my forehead whilst my elbow rests on the table, I feel a headache swiftly appear. "Tyler put that soddin' game down, will you?!"

 

"But Dad I-"

 

Before Tyler is able to argue back, the man grabs hold of the console and shoves it inside of his coat pocket which hangs on the back of the chair. "Enough. You'll kill your brain cells."

 

"But...but!" His bottom lip wobbles and his arms fold across his chest whilst he begins to sulk. It's hard to believe he's a teenage boy who should be out getting into trouble with his mates instead of sulking over a video game.

 

"Anyone for sponge cake?"

 

"...None for me thanks, think I'm getting a migraine." I hold my hand up, still avoiding eye contact with Mark.

 

"Sugar will help, you need to eat, Gary." My Mum scolds whilst plating up a large piece of cake onto a plate for me. "Mark?"

 

"N...No...no thank you..." Wobbly he speaks, but still manages to push out a smile. He's upset, he's really upset. Yet I'm doing nothing about it.

 

Nodding her head, she places a slice of cake in front of everybody else apart from Mark.

 

"Urgh, what's that on your neck?!" Tyler blurts out his first sentence of the evening. Lifting my head up from my plate, I notice that he's pointing beside me. Turning my head, I lay my eyes onto Mark's frame properly for the first time tonight. "Ugh, gross! Freaky...but cool!" His eyes light up in excitement and tries to scan Mark's scars.

 

Dryly Mark swallows and slaps his hand over his neck whilst he heavily begins to breathe and his eyes fill with fear.

 

"Tyler!" I call out whilst frowning at my brother.

 

"No pointing, darlin'."

 

"Soz, but they're pretty awesome scars!"

 

Feeling Mark tap his foot harder against mine, enough is enough. "Can we finish this off another day? I'm feeling awful, my head is banging and I need a lie down. I promise to make it up to you all. I just need some sleep."

 

Dad rolls his eyes and scoffs as he tugs off the napkin from around his neck which contains gravy stains. He might think that he's posh, but he's far from it.

 

"I'm sure we can have the cake once we're home. Would you like me to leave you some for later on?"

 

"No, Mum. Really I'm fine, food is the last thing on my mind."

 

Standing to my feet, I begin collecting the empty plates. "Here let me-"

 

"No. Please, I don't need help. I just need peace."

 

Mum picks up on my mood change and decides not to question or argue about it. Nodding her head she pushes back her chair and stands to her feet. "I'm sure Mark will help you clean up. Come on Tyler, get your coat on." Giving me a gentle hug and a peck on the cheek, she rubs my arms and softly smiles. "Get some rest, you. I'll give you a call later on to see how you're feeling."

 

"Thanks, Mum." I force out a convincing smile. "Thanks for dinner...and...er...for coming to visit. I appreciate it."

 

"No problem, hun. Have a good sleep." Turning towards Mark's direction, once again the smile fades. "Bye, Mark." Bluntly she speaks with a slight bitterness in her voice.

 

"S...S...See you, Mrs Barlow." Hearing his voice break only does the same to my heart. The tears continue to fill his eyes and any second now he's going to break down, I can just tell.

 

Following my family into the leaving room, I leave Mark once again alone in the kitchen. Dad and Tyler don't even bother saying goodbye to him, but I guess it's for the best. As soon as we've said our final goodbyes, they finally leave and I lock the door behind them before dropping my head against it.

 

Soft cries sound from the kitchen seconds after the door is closed, I had a gut feeling that would happen. Keeping my eyes closed for a brief moment, steadily I breathe and prepare myself before re-entering the kitchen.

 

Clutching to the door handle of the kitchen door, I peer inside. With his palms firmly pressed against his face, he continues to cry.

 

"M...Mark? Mark, are you...OK?" Nervously I edge inside, shakily whispering the words out. "...Mark?" Wiping his face with his hands, I wrap an arm across his shoulder, feeling his body tremble. "I...I'm...I'm so sorry."

 

Avoiding eye contact, he stares straight ahead towards the kitchen window, allowing the tears to drip onto the table. "...How...how could you?" Almost inaudibly he speaks.

 

"I didn't plan this, believe me...I just-"

 

"I didn't want to stay. You forced me to stay...and...and you didn't even defend me?!"

 

Shrugging off my contact, a lump forms in my throat. "...I...I wanted to but-"

 

"You were protecting yourself. Lying about the _real_ you."

 

"...L...lying about the real me? I didn't lie?"

 

"You didn't tell the truth either!" Mark hits the side of fist against the table top, causing me to flinch and almost end up flat on my backside by the unexpected sound. "...I was being attacked...by your own family...and you did nothing! I...I can't...I can't do this." Pushing back his chair, he clambers to his feet and hurries out of the room.

 

"Mark?" Blinking my eyes, I watch as the figure swiftly enters the bedroom and slams the door behind him. "Mark!" Chasing after him, my heart rapidly pounds inside of my chest. Opening the bedroom door, carelessly Mark throws his clothing into his over night bag. "What...what are you...doing?"

 

"Can't be here." Heavily he breathes, still with tears running down his cheeks. "Gotta go...I can't do this anymore."

 

"Do what? Mark, calm down, please! Let's just talk." Grabbing hold of his wrists, panic rushes through my body. I can't lose him. "Please don't go."

 

"...You don't understand, Gary. You've hurt me. The fact you couldn't just tell them the real reason why I was there or just defend me in some kind of way, it hurts me even more than your family looking down their noses at me."

 

Feeling my own tears build up, I feel sick and disgusted with myself. "...I...I'm not ready, Mark. It's too soon...tonight...tonight was the first time my family have met you..."

 

"If you're not ready now you never will be! I'd give up everything I have for you, it's not a lot but..."

 

"I don't even know who I am, I love you Mark, but-"

 

His whole body freezes by my words and surprise shows on his face. "...Y...You don't...you don't know who you are?!" Forcing my hands away from his wrists, he takes a step back. "...If you don't know who you are...why did you ask me to be your boyfriend? Why did you kiss me? Why did you make love to me?! Do you think you're straight still?! Does a straight man do all that with another man? Are you for real?!"

 

"I...I know...I know I'm not straight. Oh, I don't know, Mark. Please, this is messing with my head. We need to talk and we need to stop arguing, this isn't getting us anywhere!"

 

"...I'm not going to be your dirty little secret. I'm sorry." Zipping up the bag which contains some of his clothes from the previous nights of staying over, he walks towards the open door.

 

"No! Just stop, stop it Mark!" Panic washes over me and causes me to lash out due to the fear of losing him. Pushing him against the bedroom wall, he drops the bag to the floor as soon as I hold his wrists either side of him. "...You're saying all this about me, yet when I told you that I loved you...you...you said nothing! Not a single word!"

 

"I knew..." Shakily he breathes out and guilt becomes a new emotion as soon as he notices my tears. "...I knew you couldn't be true to yourself. You let your ego get in the way, you care more about what people think about you than about the people you are suppose to love. I thought after last night...things would change, but after today...it's opened my eyes. We can't be together, this isn't a true relationship. You're feeding me lies. Are you lonely? Is that it? How can I tell you how I truly feel about you, when you can't do the same for me? I tried so hard not to get my heart broken by telling you that I love you, but even without saying those words...you still managed to break it."

 

"W...Why are you doing this?"

 

"I'm not doing anything. For once I'm looking out for myself. It's over, Gary." Seeing his bottom lip tremble, it's like a punch to the gut. Watching him slide out of my grip, the tears come flooding out.

 

"Please! Please don't-" Reaching out to stop him from leaving, I catch him off guard. Swinging his hand backwards, it ends up colliding with me. Hitting against my face, instantly I taste blood. "Ow!"

 

Mark spins around on the spot and notices the blood on my bottom lip. "Oh. Oh, Gary...I...I'm-" His eyes widen at the sight and his face becomes pale.

 

"It...It was...it was an accident..." I mumble against my hands covering my mouth. Shaking his head, he runs out of the door. "Mark!" Hearing the slam of the front door, causes my knees become incredibly weak. "...Please...please come back..." Falling to the floor I hold myself, whilst I break down. "...Come...come back..."

 


	14. Chapter 14

_**Gary's POV** _

 

It's been three days. Three _whole_ days since Mark walked out on me and ever since that day, I've been feeling empty. It's weird how someone can have such a strong affect in your life, but right now, I don't even feel human. Hiding behind the sunglasses, I pull down the street. Resting my head against the staring wheel for a brief moment as soon as the engine cools down, heavily I sigh. As pathetic as it sounds, I feel broken, lost and worried as hell. I haven't heard a single word about or from him since the last time we were together and of course he's switched his mobile off, so I can't even receive a simple 'I'm OK' text.

 

Pulling myself together the best that I can, I head towards the deserted flat which stands in the middle of nowhere. This is probably the second time I've ever visited Robbie's home. I can't stand the town he's living in and it usually has some random drunk or someone with a needle sticking out of them laying on his sofa. How can he live with people like that?

 

Inhaling a deep breath, I knock against the glass on the front door. Today seems to be quiet within the house, the first time that I came here, there was some awful sounding music blasting out and I spent about an hour stood on the doorstep.

 

After a few seconds, a shadow appears behind the frosted glass and the tall dark male stands in my view. "Gaz?!" His smile is instantly wiped away from his face by the sight of mine. "...You..you look terrible, mate." Instantly he eyes up the cut on my lip, but chooses to leave the questions unspoken.

 

Nodding my head, I force out a smile. "Thanks, Rob. Don't look too bad yourself."

 

Rob presses his lips together and steps aside, allowing me entry. As soon as I step foot inside, my nostrils are greeted by the strong smell of booze and smoke. "Sorry about the mess." He grumbles whilst closing the door with a hard thump to securely close it. "Haven't had time to have a tidy around...and you didn't say you were comin', so I haven't got me duster out." He jokes and guides me into the living room, his words just go over the top of my head. "Drink?"

 

"Sure."

 

Immediately Rob walks over towards a messy looking cabinet at the end of the room. Removing a pile of dirty clothes, I drop them to the floor whilst taking the now empty seat on the sofa (which use to be cream white, now looking more of a chocolate/grey colour, looking as worn out as I currently feel). "So...what brings you over to this side of town?" The younger man asks, whilst handing me a glass which contains whiskey.

 

Shrugging my shoulders I don't hesitate when taking a sip. "...Head's been all over the place. Mark's gone."

 

"...Mark's... gone?"

 

"Yeah, I fucked things up and he saw sense." Still trying to keep myself together, I feel the tears reappear for the third time today.

 

"I'm sure you've just had a tiff, that's a normal thing. It'll make you stronger."

 

"Stronger?" I bark out a laugh. "He can't even stand the sight of me and I don't bloody blame him. He's been gone three days...and...and I don't even know what to do any...any...more." Feeling my bottom lip wobble, frustration takes over.

 

_Don't. Cry._

 

"Gaz." A hand rests on top of my shoulder and my eyes swiftly avert away from his to focus on the glass resting on my lap. "...What's happened? Talk to me." A tear manages to escape my left eye and fades into my dark jeans. "...Look at me, mate. It's OK to cry." Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, more and more tears run down my cheeks.

 

"...I...I'm...so...worried." I sniff and my voice cracks. "...He could be laying in a gutter somewhere and it's all _my_ fault."

 

"Don't punish yourself."

 

"But I deserve to be punished and I'm not feeling sorry for myself either." Angrily I wipe the tears onto my sleeve. "...I constantly have my own head up my arse, I was the same with Dawn and I lost her and now I've done the same with Mark."

 

"You can't compare your relationships, Dawn was completely different to Mark. He's just upset and wants to make a point, he wants to hurt you like you hurt him."

 

"I don't think he cares about hurting me, he doesn't have a bad bone in his body, no matter how much I hurt him. It's just hard, thinking about the whole gay/bi label...I know he wants me to tell my parents about our relationship, but...but... I'm scared."

 

"I can imagine...I've met your parents and well...I better stop there before I get a punch." Playfully he jokes and supportively he strokes my back. "...I'm sure Mark will understand how you feel about telling them once he's met them himself."

 

"Well, that's where you're wrong." Removing the tears, deeply I sigh. "He has met them and that's why he's gone. My family basically attacked him with question after question and were disgusted by his comments about his sexuality. I don't know...he wanted me to confess who I really am, but I couldn't, not at that moment. Then again, it wasn't fair how they were just stabbing the knife deeper into him and I sat back and let it happen. No wonder he wanted me to spill, at least they would of laid off him... a bit. I'm not pleased with how I handled the situation, he's my boyfriend for Christ sake, I should protect him. I'm truly disgusted in myself."

 

It takes a minute or two before Robbie speaks again, I guess it's a lot to take in. I don't blame him for having a second opinion on me. "I'm not takin' sides or owt, but...no wonder he took off."

 

"Thanks. Makes me feel great, that."

 

"It was the first time he had met your parents...can you imagine how nervous he was just thinking about that? Never mind them being so judgemental on top! Did he even know they were coming over?" Closing my eyes, softly I shake my head. "Ah, so you didn't even get time to warn him."

 

"Warn him? Rob, I know they're a pain in the arse most of the time, Dad mainly, but they're not some kind of wild animal, at the end of the day they're my parents. I don't want to choose sides, I guess that's what Mark wants me to do, I don't know." Knocking back my drink, my heart continues to ache. Searching for the right words, he nods his head and settles on asking me for a refill. "Please." I mutter whilst handing over the empty glass.

 

"I better make you a coffee, you're driving and it looks like you need some sugar in you." I don't complain at that. I haven't slept or eaten properly in the past few days. Rob disappears into the kitchen, leaving me alone. Holding my forehead, I run my palms across every inch of my face, trying the best that I can to piece together my thoughts. Removing my sunglasses from the top of my head, I shuffle on the sofa, feeling something dig into my backside. Frowning my eyebrows, I search for a comfortable spot, which fails.

 

"You need a new sofa, mate. This one's crap."

 

Rob's laugh echoes from the kitchen. Standing to my feet, I shift aside the pillow, discovering the object which I've been sitting on. Taking hold of the object, instantly I glare at it, noticing the wire plugged into the socket beside the sofa. Is that...? Turning it over, my question is silently answered. "That...that bastard." Gritting my teeth together, I eye up the doorway as soon as Robbie re enters carrying the steaming mug.

 

"What's that?" He questions.

 

Shaking my head, my body fills with rage. "He's here? He's here, isn't he?! You bastard." Unplugging the E Cig from the socket, angrily I shove it into my pocket. "I'm not fuckin' dumb! It even says his soddin' name on the back!"

 

"I...er...Gaz, liste-"

 

"Don't. Just don't you dare feed me with lies. I have no time for games."

 

"Seriously, Gaz. He's not here...not anymore."

 

"What?" Taking a step back, my eyes scan around the room, it wouldn't surprise me if Mark's actually hiding under a stack of dirty clothing. "Where is he then?"

 

"I...I...well, I don't know."

 

"Bullshit." I mumble. "I just want to talk to him. I need to talk to him, this needs sorting. I can't...I can't lose him."

 

Robbie sighs and places the mug onto a coaster in the centre of the coffee table. "Look, I wish I could help you out, because if he was here now, I'd make you both sort it out, but he isn't. He left when I was sleeping and he never said where he was going."

 

"When did he arrive?"

 

"...Couple of days back."

 

Rolling my eyes, deeply I sigh. "I texted you if you had seen him and you told me you hadn't. Some friend, eh?"

 

"He didn't want to speak. He turned up, said he needed time apart and I gave him the sofa to crash on. I don't know why he left, maybe he's physic and knew you were coming over today."

 

"This isn't a game, you know? This is my life!" I can't believe he kept this from me. Me and Robbie have never really been close friends, but I thought he was at least decent enough to tell me something like this. "Did he mention anything? I tried the shelter as soon as he left and I asked Mary to call if she heard anything. Then again, she's probably playing with my feelings too."

 

"Do you want me to come wit-"

 

"No. I think you've done enough." Storming past him, I search for my keys in the back pocket of my jeans.

 

Rob rushes to the doorway just before I leave. "Let me know if you f-"

 

Cutting off his sentence, I slam the front door as I leave.

 

\--------------------------

 

Since leaving Rob's place, my stomach how been twisting and turning on the journey to the shelter. I officially left working there the day after mine and Mark's argument, maybe that's why he's there today, he knows that I no longer work there now. Parking my car in the usual space outside the shelter, I look up at the huge gloomy looking building. It's almost like it's my first day working here all over again, this time without my Mother to hold my hand, of course. I wish it was my first day at this place, my nerves wouldn't be half as bad knowing I'd meet my future boyfriend. Feeling emotional, I remove the keys from the exhaust. The cold air slaps me in the face and a shiver runs down my spine, sensing a storm brewing, deeply I inhale a sharp intake of air before pushing open the front door.

 

As soon as I step foot inside, I'm greeted by the familiar smell of food cooking and my ears are filled with random chatter from around the room. It looks more crowded than usual, I guess with Christmas just a few months away, more people are being taken off the streets. Scanning around the room with a lump in my throat, my eyes connect with the small woman sitting in my old work area. Her eyes widen and fear grows in them, as she looks at the figure opposite. Walking closer, my tongue skims my bottom lip and I frown feeling slightly confused. Standing just inches away, automatically my legs feel like they're about to give way, almost like I've been super glued to the floor. Refusing to believe my eyes, Mary sadly bows her head when she notices the tears fill my eyes. "M...Ma...Mark..." Stuttering out the single word, the figure freezes, still showing me the back of his head. "...Ma...Mark..." Again I try, my bottom lip wobbles and my jaw clenches.Removing my hands from my jacket's pockets, they continue to shake and a tear manages to escape my eye.

 

Slowly, very slowly, the male's eyes leave the floor whilst turning around to face me. "...Y...You...go...g...go...home..." His voice breaks and he hoarsely stutters. Lifting his head so our eyes meet for the first time in days, instead of feeling the butterflies flutter around the pit of my stomach, my heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest at the sight of his face. Feeling my throat become dry and my heart rate almost become a flat line, horror fills my face. Blood almost covers every inch of visible skin and his right eye is swollen.

 

"Gary-" Mary grips to Mark's arm as he tries to stumble to his feet.

 

"I...I told...I told you...to ring me...if...if he...oh, God."

 

"Don't...please...don't look at me..." Tugging off Mary's grip, he stands to his feet, but in seconds he ends up losing his balance and collapses to the floor.

 

"Mark?!" Dropping to my knees instantly, my hand cups the back of his head. "Mark?!" His eyes remain closed and his mouth opens slightly whilst laying limp in my arms looking lifeless. "Mark! Wake up? Oh, don't do this...p...p...please, Mark." More and more tears roll down my cheeks and disappears into his ripped and tatted shirt. Feeling a crowd form around the area and the conversations die down, they stare down at him like he's just been dropped off from the circus. "Don't just fuckin' stare! Ring an ambulance! _Now!"_ Loudly I yell whilst I cradle Mark in my arms, causing a pale faced Mary to scuttle away to obey my demand. Holding my face onto Mark's, feeling the blood against my skin, my fingers curl around strands of his hair. "...I...I am...so...so sorry..." I whimper, trying to hold him tightly without hurting him, I sob into this blood and sweat soaked hair. "...I...I love you...I love you..."

 

 _"...I love you?"_ A voice echoes in disgust. Without even bothering waste any of my energy on them, already I know who exactly it is.

 

_Jason_

\----------------------------

 

"What's going on?!" Flying out of my chair, I pant as soon as the doctor walks out of Mark's room. Mary follows and holds onto my arm, forcing me to take a step back to allow the doctor to breathe.

 

"It's nothing major, a few cuts, a black eye and some swelling on the back of the head."

 

Breathing out a sigh of relief, I run a hand across my face. He's still not recovered, of course, but at least it isn't anything life threatening. "...Is he staying in over night? Oh god, who did this to him?!" Glaring down at the female, I still feel incredibly pissed about her not calling me.

 

"Erm...well, that's the thing. After asking Mister Owen a few questions to check whether he's got any injury to his brain, he hasn't, he explained to us about his living conditions-"

 

"Yeah, what about them?"

 

"Mister Barlow, please." Pushing the glasses further up his nose, softly he sighs. "...Due to Mister Owen's living arrangements, we can't treat him like an ordinary patient."

 

Blinking my eyes by his words, they fail to absorb. "...E...Excuse...me?" Choking on my own words, I can't believe what I'm hearing. "Y...You're just going to toss him out without treating him properly?! Just because...he's homeless?! Are you fuckin' kidding me?!"

 

"Gary-"

 

"No, Mary!" Harshly I tug my arm out of her grip and rage shows on my face. "So what, if he were dying you'd just let him?! I pay my fucking taxes and I want him treating! I am appalled!" Heavily I breathe and my body shakes in anger.

 

"I'm sorry, but it's hospital policy. There's a lot of injured homeless people out on the streets and if we treated them all to a bed, there wouldn't be any room for other patients."

 

Looking at the ageing male in disgust, my head violently spins. Could this week possibly get any worse?! "...They're people too! I...I can't believe this...you know what? He does have a home."

 

"...Gary? What are you saying?" Mary asks with fear in her voice.

 

"He...He's living with me. I have a home and I have a job and he's _my boyfriend_. I'm not tossing him out like everyone else is doing, _I_ care about him."

 

The doctor turns away from me and looks into Mary's direction, who continues to look gob smacked ever since I first arrived at the shelter this afternoon. "...We still can't fully treat him until he's signed out of the shelter, but if you want to go ahead with it, we can prescribe him some painkillers for tonight to ease the pain and swellings, then we can book him into a couple of appointments for the upcoming days for check ups. He's...he's not addicted to an-"

 

"No. No he's not." Instantly I cut him off. It's almost like people think homeless people enjoy living on the streets, like it's their choice to do so. Whenever someone hears the word homeless they just expect to find a junkie or an alcoholic who can't look after themselves, Mark isn't any of those things, he's a normal person and I expect him to be treated like one.

 

"Right. Well, he's well enough to go home with you tonight, just keep an eye on him and if there's anything you want to ask feel free to give the hospital a call." Handing me a leaflet which explains in detail about side effects for painkillers and also includes the hospital phone numbers, a tightness fills my chest.

 

"Can I?" Pointing into the direction of the closed door behind him seconds later, lightly he nods in reply. Leaving the two of them alone, I rush over towards Mark's room.

 

As soon as I step foot inside the small room, his eyes shoot up to meet mine. Seeing a now clearer face, it shows off his the grazes and his shining black eye.

 

"G...Gary..." Painfully he speaks and guilt fills his face. Slowly his eyes fall away from mine and focus onto the thin sheet covering the lower half of his body. "...I...I'm...I'm sorry..." He almost inaudibly mutters under a shaky breath.

 

Trying to take the moment in, I feel enough strength to force myself to his bedside. "Please...please...never...never ever apologise." Carefully cupping his face, my thumb gently strokes against the roughness of a large graze across his left cheek. "...You have nothing...to be sorry for. Oh...Mark..." Unable to hold back my emotions, I finally show my weaker side to him for the first time.

 

"Don't cry, Gaz..." Mark sniffs and weakly wraps an arm around my back.

 

Placing both of my arms around his fragile frame, I cry into his gown, feeling the tears from his eyes drip into my hair. The pair of us cry together whilst holding onto one another.

 

The pain of missing each other was clearly becoming unbearable. I never want to let him go, _again._


	15. Chapter 15

_**Gary's POV** _

 

"...I really need to get me haircut." Mark winces whilst trying to stop himself from sliding around in the bath.

  
"...I like it long." Filling the cup with water, it washes away the blood and dirt from the long strands of hair.

  
"Might go for the skin head look."

  
"Don't you dare!" Lightly I chuckle. "I don't fancy living with a walking egg..."

  
Carefully Mark leans backwards, enough to create eye contact. "...This official, then? Me movin' in?...I understand if it's just until I'm well and I don't want to make you uncomfortable... _again."_

  
"Hey, no Mark. Come on. Make me uncomfortable? _Never._ Even if we weren't dating, I still would of loved you to move in, honestly." Stroking the flannel against the dark bruise on the center of his back, lightly I sigh. "...I'm going to look after you, not just because you're injured, but I'm going to be a proper boyfriend this time. I don't want to hurt you again, Mark. I know we've only known each other for a short time and we've only really started dating, but you mean a lot to me. I'm going to do everythin' I can to prove myself to you." Gently I place a tender kiss onto his bare shoulder.

 

Lightly Mark nods in reply, I understand that we need to work on things, I'm just glad he's... _home._

 

Noticing the goosebumps form on his pale skin, I reach for the oversized dressing gown from the door. "Are you cold?" Again he chooses to nod. Opening the dressing gown, I wait for him to stand up, allowing him to take my hand for support. Wrapping the blue gown around him, tightly I tie it around his waist. "...I'll get you somethin' warm to eat."

  
"...Gaz?"

  
My fingers grip to the door handle and my head shoots into the direction of the voice. "...Yes?"

  
"...I...I...thank you." Dryly he swallows and tries to smile. "...I appreciate your kindness."

  
Just by hearing some kind of happiness in his tone of voice, makes me feel relaxed and less stressed. "...You're more than welcome."

  
\------------------

  
"Just a couple more mouthfuls?" Blowing away the steam from the brown liquid, Mark shakes his head. "Please?"

  
"It hurts, Gary. I can't." Holding his mouth and looking frustrated, sadly he sighs.

  
Placing the spoon back into the soup, lightly I squeeze his shoulder. "...Things will get better, are you still hungry?" Softly he shakes his head and continues to stare at the duvet covering his legs. "...I hate seeing you in pain..." Shakily I speak whilst placing the soup tray onto the floor next to the bed. "It should...it should of been m-"

  
"Don't." Deeply Mark sighs whilst resting against the headboard. "Don't go down that road."

  
"...S...sorry."

  
"Hadn't you better...ouch." Wincing as he tries to find a comfortable position, my heart sinks to see him in pain, I feel so useless. "...Hadn't you better...get to bed...? It's Thursday tomorrow...you're on early."

  
"I'm not at work tomorrow..." Pulling back the duvet, I slide in along side Mark, trying the best that I can to not make too much movement.

  
Rolling his eyes with a deep sigh, carefully he rests his head onto the pillow. "You're not staying off work just to babysit me, I'm fine."

  
"You've barely been home two hours from the hospital, what if you have a fall? I'm not risking it, Nigel will understand."

  
"Working is more important. You're going." Switching off the light, I begin to giggle. "...What's so funny...?"

  
"Just that you haven't been living here a day yet and you're already wearing the trousers around 'ere." Reaching for his hand, very lightly I squeeze it through the darkness. "...I was thinking...maybe we could go to the shelter tomorrow afternoon, if you're up to it? Collect the rest of your things, don't want anyone pinching anything."

  
"...Actually..." Hoarsely Mark speaks. "...I...I think I'll give it a miss...I'm not really in the mood...seeing Jason's smug face."

  
"Jason? He...he hasn't played any part...in this, right?"

  
Running his tongue lightly across his top lip, carefully he shakes his head in reply. "No...I couldn't really see...it was dark, it was probably their doorstep I was sleeping on-"

  
Just by hearing those simple words, it feels like I've just been slapped across the face. "I...I...but...but I thought that you were staying...at Robbie's? How...why was you sleeping on the street?!"

  
"Because..." Releasing an exhausted sigh, painfully Mark frowns. "...I...I came back 'ere...but I couldn't find it in me to knock...I didn't know how you would of reacted seeing me again. Part of me thought that as soon as I walked out, you would of forgotten about me, probably think that I was being a drama queen or something. I didn't think you'd want me back...but another part of me thought that you'd be a mess...and I was still emotional at the time, I thought the walk would do me good...I didn't really want to go back to Rob's, he was stoned out of his head with a few of his mates...so I just...you know..." Avoiding eye contact with me, immediately I sense his guilt.

  
"But...you said that you'd rather be dead than sleep on the streets again. Am I that bad? Was I that much of a monster, Mark?" It isn't suppose to make him feel even worse about the situation, I just can't believe he'd rather sleep on a street than talk to me. That hurts. I guess I'm getting a taste of my own medicine.

  
"Can you blame me, Gaz? I was a mess, I thought I lost you...to be honest, I would rather be dead on the streets than be without you, you make my life worth living...I'm still upset about what happened with your parents so I wouldn't just say that. Ever since we first met, you accepted me for me...even if it did start as a friendly thing...-"

  
"Mark...Mark, it's ok..." Feeling my heart flutter and the sadness begins to fade, tiredly I smile into his direction. "...You don't need to explain yourself...you mean so much to me and how I behaved wasn't acceptable, you didn't deserve that. I'll do everything that I can for you to forgive me and to make you happy, even if it means telling my parents about us...I don't want to lose you either. You have nothing to be sorry for..." Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he releases a quiet sigh of relief before weakly smiling. "...Come 'ere..." Lifting up one of my arms, he doesn't hesitate when moving closer to me, resting his head onto my chest with a few sharp winces, he finds a comfortable position against my body.

 

Switching off the bedside lamp, very gently I drape my arm across his back. "...Things will get better...I promise you..." Delicately I press a tender kiss against his temple.

 

I'm _so_ glad he's home.

 

\--------------

 

**_(7.30 am, the next morning)_ **

 

"You don't have to go, you know?" Tiredly a voice speaks, whilst his eyes remain closed.

 

Almost jumping out of my skin, I turn around on the spot to look at the figure laying in the bed. "Bloody 'ell, lad. You scared me half to death. Get back to sleep."

 

Rubbing his eyes and nuzzling against the duvet, loudly he yawns whilst speaking. "I've been awake longer than what you have."

 

"Are you in pain?" Sounding concerned, I rush towards the side of the bed.

 

"No...no...I'm fine." Lightly he breathes out a laugh and slides up the headboard, wincing during his movements. "...It...it was nice...to wake up beside you. Thought I were dreamin' at first, but...it was a lovely sight."

 

Sitting onto the empty side of the bed, happily I sigh whilst running my fingers through the brunette's curls. "I've done that most mornings...just seeing you next to me, it gives me a feelin' I can't describe. A warm, happy feeling. I know I've already been babbling on, but it was horrible not having you in my life those past few days... I'm grateful for everything you've done, Mark."

 

Stroking his fingers over my hand, his chin rests onto my shoulder. "...But...I haven't done anything?"

 

"You've been open and true to me since day one, I really admire that in a person. It's more than enough." Looking at his black eye and swollen lip, sadly I smile. Even looking battered and bruised, my feelings haven't changed about him. He's still beautiful inside and out. "...Like I said last night, I _will_ tell my parents and we will become public, I just need time to get my head around a few things, but you're my main priority and getting you well again is top of my list."

 

"...I know you'll tell them...in time, I now understand that is better than nothing. I'm sure many guys would of run a mile seeing me looking like Frankenstein, but you didn't. You took me in and cared for me...that's a true man." Pecking his lips against my fingertips, finally I begin to relax just by hearing his calming words. "...What time do you have to be at the shelter?"

 

"...Any time, really. I was going to go whilst you were sleeping, so I can spend the day with you."

 

Nodding his head, he slides his fingers inbetween mine. "...Fancy hangin' around a bit?...I was thinking about tagging along."

 

Raising my eyebrows, I search his face expecting it to be some kind of joke. "...Are you sure? I mean, you've only just been out of hospital five minutes, babe. You're clearly still in pain."

 

Shrugging his shoulders, he sighs and removes his hand from mine. "The pain is bearable, the face...well...a bag wouldn't go amiss! But...I've got some explaining to do to Jenny and of course to Mary. I can't just leave like that."

 

"They'll understand. Your health comes first."

 

"I know, I know that, but...it'll make me feel better, Mary will be upset about how everythin' come out and that I won't be there anymore. I guess in a way, I was all that she had."

 

Staring up at me with his sad dark eyes, I lower my guard. It's only fair that he gets to talk to Mary and explain to Jenny. He has a big heart and I'm happy to support him, besides, I'm going to need the favour returned when it comes to me confessing to my parents. We both _need_ one another during times likes this.

 

\-----------------------

 

After an hour and a half of trying to get Mark dressed (it took longer mainly down to him being unsure what outfit to wear, I have no idea why he's trying to make an effort), we've finally made it in one piece to the shelter.

 

"Easy..." I mutter whilst wrapping an arm tighter around his waist, as the pair of us make our way inside of the shelter. I wish he stayed in bed this morning, he's only going to be in more pain at this rate.

 

"I...I...I'm fine. Just lemme...ah..." Grabbing hold of the first chair he sees once we're inside, he sits down onto it and rubs his ribs. "...That's...that's better." Softly he groans and massages his aching bones. 

 

Seeing how exhausted and pale his looks, causes me to deeply sigh at the state of him. I told him to leave it for another day, the shelter isn't going anywhere and I'm sure Mary would come and visit so he can explain to her everything which has happened, but no, it's impossible to talk Mark out of things. And people call _me_ stubborn!

 

"Right. Stay 'ere, I'll go and find them."

 

"I wasn't planning on running off, but ok." Sweetly he smiles up at me as I shake my head at him.

 

Taking a wrong footing, I end up colliding with another figure. "Watch it!" Sharply he speaks as I hold onto his arms, stopping him from tripping over my feet.

 

"S..Sorry, mate I-" Looking at the male, instantly I regret my apology. "Oh, it's _you."_ Immediately I let go of him as I take a couple of steps backwards.

 

Jason eyes me up and down whilst frowning, before jotting something down onto his clipboard. "Gary, what are you doing here?" He asks with a childish attitude.

 

Glancing over my shoulder at Mark who sits just inches away from where we are standing, lost in his own world, I turn back to face Jason. "...I'm looking for Mary and Jenny...so if you don't mind-"

 

"Fed up of him already?" The older man smirks at the sight of Mark. "Not being funny, but we don't want him back, especially not looking like... _that!"_ He breathes out a laugh over Mark's visible injuries.

 

"Listen." Closing the gap between us, our noses almost bump. Something just snaps inside of me. "I'll say this once and only once. You speak like that about _my boyfriend_ again and you won't have any teeth left in that disgusting mouth of yours. Got it?!" I whisper out the threat, feeling my blood levels boil. I've never been a fighter, I've always been a coward and weak when it comes to arguments, but I love Mark too much to let someone like Jason kick him whilst he's down. I've let my family walk over him already, no way am I letting a nobody do the same. 

 

Nodding his head, he gives me a stern look before taking a step back. "...Jen isn't in today. She's off ill, so I'm taking over her role. Mary's in the back."

 

"Right. Thanks." Barging past him, he takes a grip to my arm and turns his voice into a whisper with a cough.

 

"Don't go upsetting her. She thinks a lot about Mark and this has clearly made her miserable since finding out."

 

Not speaking a word, I brush off his grip, but I absorb his words. He's right with what he says, but I'm not going to praise him for that.

 

Walking into the back room of the shelter, I peer around the ajar door. "Mary? You in 'ere, love? It's me, Gary."

 

A head appears over a book which is resting in the woman's hands. Instantly her face fills with relief and lights up over my presence. "Gary! Oh, is everything OK? How is he?"

 

Widely I smile whilst holding onto the door. I still feel incredibly guilty over the way I acted with her when finding out that Mark ended up back at the shelter. At the end of the day, it wasn't anybody's fault, apart from my own.  "Come and take a look for yourself."

 

"He's...here?!" Excitedly she stands to her feet and rushes past me within seconds. Following her back into the main room, Mark's head shoots up as soon as we appear back in sight.

 

"'ello..." A small voice speaks. Seeing Mary's eyes fill with tears, she doesn't wait around when embracing Mark into a tight him, almost crushing him to death. "Ah! Ouch..."

 

"Oh...sorry...sorry dear." Cupping his face, she plants a couple of kisses onto his cheeks. "...I'm sorry...so sorry..."

 

Faintly smiling, gently he strokes her back. "Come 'ere..." Wiping a single tear away from her cheek, carefully he wraps his arms tightly around the woman's back. Seeing a smile fill his face, I know this moment means a lot to Mark. Other than me, Mary is all Mark has in life. She's his second Mother and that shows, they both care a tremendous amount about one another and the fact that Mark can no longer live under her care, will be a big change in both of their lives. "Thank you..." Silently the male mouths to me.

 

Watching the two hold one another in front of me, causes my heart to warm. "...I'll leave you two to talk...I better get packing."

 

It feels like a ton of bricks have been lifted from my shoulders. I'm so relieved to have Mark back in my life. I know that I'm not out of the doghouse just yet, but I can't wait for all of this to blow over so we can start planning our life together. 


	16. Chapter 16

_**(2 weeks later)** _

 

**Mark's POV**

 

Laying on the sofa only wearing my underpants, Gary tickles the sole of my foot whilst we continue to watch some crap on TV. "Knock it off." I grumble under my breath as my legs remain over his lap.

 

"I've been thinkin' whilst I was at work today..." His hand strokes the side of my cheek and his fingers tug against my earlobe.

 

"Uh oh...right..." Playfully I tease.

 

Gary rolls his eyes and places his hand on top of my bare kneecap. "No, it's nothin' bad. I saw an ad in the newspaper which was left at the bar. It was something about a new model being created for Madame Tussauds, think it was William and Kate actually. But I was thinking...maybe we should go down one weekend?"

  
Frowning slightly I scratch the back of my head. "Madame Tussauds? I've heard it mentioned before...isn't it in New York or some place like that?"

 

Almost immediately Gary bursts out laughing over my idiotic comment. "No...no...Christ I think the travel over there would take the weekend alone! It's in London. I've only been there once...when I was about three, just to visit the Buckingham Palace, _well_... the gates."

 

"I'm not really a fan of the Queen-"

  
"Oh no...I didn't mean go and have tea with her." Again Gary giggles. "I thought it'd be nice to be out of Manchester, be _ourselves_. There's some great buildings to see, could even go on the London eye and visit the tower!" The blonde's face lights up, making him look like an over excited little boy. "What do yo-" Before he's able to fill my head with the arts of London, there's a knock against the door. "I'll get that, but think about it, yeah?" Lightly I nod my head and move my feet. Gary skips towards the front door whilst I reach for laptop, to explore the city of London and to get a taste of what we're about to discover.

  
Minutes later, the sound of soft mumbling is heard along with the sound of the TV, so I just continue to get lost in my own world on Gary's laptop. "Gaz?" I call, noticing how long he's taking just to get rid of the person at the door.

  
A few minutes later, he appears back into the living room, except this time he isn't alone. "You've got a visitor." Sounding slightly annoyed, he walks off into the kitchen leaving behind the guest.

  
Blinking my eyes through the dull lighting, I notice a familiar face. "Rob? Oh hiya mate, long time no see!" Shooting him a grin, I shift the laptop from my knees and I open my arms whilst laying on the sofa.

  
Immediately he picks up on the bruises which remain on my face. "How're you keeping?" Sadly he smiles whilst giving me a gentle hug.

  
"Yeah, I'm good...a lot better now. How are you? I've missed you."

  
"That's good to hear. I thought it was probably best if I stayed away for a while."

  
Frowning my face, I tilt my head onto one side. "Why?"

  
"...Gary made it clear I wasn't welcome. I felt awful hidin' you at my place...I should of told him, but I made a promise to you...so I was kinda in the middle, but I had to come tonight. I've got some news...good news that is."

  
"It wasn't your fault...you weren't the one who beat me up. Anyway, that's in the past now." Shuffling up the sofa, I pat the empty seat beside me, in seconds Rob settles next to me. "I'm all ears."

  
"Well, I've been talking to a few of my mates, looking for somewhere so you can find your feet outside of this place. I'm sure Gary drives you up the wall sometimes." Lowering his voice lightly he knocks his elbow against my arm. "...But my mate, _Howard._ He's on holiday at the minute and he's due home sometime next week. He works about two streets away from this place, it's only a small barbers, but he runs it single handed. He said he'd be delighted to give you a few odd jobs around the place, nothing fancy, just sweeping up hair, greeting the customers and making tea. He'd be more than happy to take you on, the pay isn't that bad either considering what you have to do. What do you think?"

  
My mouth opens but no words leave my tongue. Instead, Gary's voice answers Rob's question. "What does he think about what?" Perching onto the sofa's arm next to me, concern fills his face whilst drinking his glass of coke.

  
Unable to hold back my enormous grin, I excitedly look up at my boyfriend. "I've been offered a job!" Excitedly I exclaim, which almost causes Gary to choke on the liquid.

  
"A...job?" Frowning his face slightly, he immediately looks into Robbie's direction. "And when did this come about?"

  
The dark haired male shrugs and pinches his lips into a thin line. "Well, Howard messaged me the other day...so I thought I'd drop by to-"

  
"Howard? And this is a mate of yours? You know how I feel about your friend's, Rob. I don't want Mark involved with them."

  
Sitting back, I watch between the two men. Dryly Rob swallows and tries to defend himself. "N...no...Howard isn't like that, honest. He runs the barbers just down the street from you. He's got a kid on the way, he wouldn't risk harming his family by getting into anything like...well,you know."

  
Even though me and Gary are together in a relationship, there's still quite a lot about him which I don't know. Maybe Gary isn't so innocent as he makes out, but do I want to know these secrets he's hiding about his past?

 

"A job's a job, right?" Both heads turn into my direction, suddenly they realise that I'm still in the room. 

 

"I know, but...I don't want you getting hurt. Not _again."_ Tiredly Gary sighs whilst pinching the bridge of his nose. "If need be, I'll come with you on your first day, just to check this guy out." Gary notices Robbie shake his head and roll his eyes by the comment, but Gary doesn't breathe a word.

  
"I'm not a kid, Gaz."

  
Picking up on the tension between the pair, Rob stands to his feet within seconds. "I'll forward you his number and you can let him know for sure that you can make it. Honestly, he's a good, friendly guy. It's only for a few hours and I'm sure you'll love it." Patting my shoulder, faintly I smile up at him.

  
"Thank you, I appreciate your help." The two of us hug and he nods his head nervously into Gary's direction before leaving.

 

Watching Gary slide from the sofa's arm and onto the space next to me on the sofa, I turn my gaze towards the TV. "You didn't have to be so rude, you know? He's only helping." Bitterly I speak. 

 

"I know, but sometimes Rob helping isn't always for the best."

  
"He wouldn't put me in danger? He seems like a nice lad. I wish you'd be happy for me. I don't want to keep sponging off you and laying around this place. I want to pay my share of living 'ere."

  
Coiling an arm around my shoulder, he perches his mug against his thigh. "I am proud of you, Marky. You're just gettin' better again and I know that most of Rob's friends are wrong uns, so if you want this job, then I'd prefer it if I at least drop you off there and meet the guy myself."

  
Still feeling slightly annoyed over the fact Gary's continuing to treat me like a child, I know he means well. "Right, fine."

  
\----------------------------

  
**(The following week)**

 

**Gary's POV**

  
Rolling over onto my right hand side, I almost end up bumping noses with the figure soundlessly sleeping beside me. I really should start hunting for a new bed, it's not big enough for the two of us and it's far too lumpy, my back will be in agony before long. It's almost half past eight in the morning and today is Mark's first day at his first ever job.

 

Sliding a hand out from underneath the duvet, I curl a loose strand of hair behind his ear, feeling a warmth grow in the pit of my stomach. Just by watching him sleep and looking so relaxed opposite me, I feel incredibly proud of him. Nudging my face closer, warm breath escapes his parted lips and hits against my cheek. "...Mornin'." Softly I mumble, noticing his eyelids flicker whilst they remain closed. "...Oi, Mister sleepy. You've got your first day at work..." Nibbling his earlobe, loudly he grumbles in reply. 

"...Five more minutes, Gaz."

  
Breathing out a laugh, it almost sounds as if we've got children, those are exact words which would be spoken _every_ morning. "I'll go and make you a coffee." Pecking the side of his mouth, a faint smile graces his lips whilst he still refuses to open his eyes.

  
\----------------

  
**Mark's POV**

  
Buttoning up my freshly ironed shirt, I walk into the kitchen still barefoot and with my scarf in my hand. "Bloody buttons." I huff in frustration.

  
Within a matter of seconds, Gary jumps out of his chair and stands in front of me grinning. "Come 'ere, you've buttoned it up wrong." Screwing my eyelids shut, I hold tighter to my scarf. "...Hey? Is everythin' alright?"

  
Bowing my head slightly, lightly I nod. "Yeah...just nerves. Feels like me first day at school...even that went shit."

  
"You'll be fine." Reaching the final button, a finger is pressed underneath my chin and a pair of lips peck against mine. "Rob said Howard is a lovely guy, so I'm taking his word for it." Glancing down at the thin material in my hands, he looks back up at me. "Do you need help?"

  
"No...no...was just deciding whether to wear it or not."

  
A lopsided smile appears on Gary's lips whilst he places a supportive hand onto my shoulder. "Do what makes _you_ feel comfortable."

  
Painting on a smile, I wrap the grey thin material around my neck, loosely. "So...what you going to do on your day off? Laze around in your undies?" Playfully I smirk, whilst giving myself a final look over in the kitchen mirror. Still the bruising around my eye shines and a few cuts remain on my face from my accident a few weeks back. Hopefully this doesn't ruin my chance getting the job, I don't want to look like some thug. 

  
"No, actually I'm not." The blonde rolls his eyes and places his empty mug into the sink. Crossing his arms across his broad chest, he leans against the worktop. "Think I might tidy up the studio and clear some of my unpacked boxes. That way, it'll give you more room if you need it. Then I'll write a few songs...got my meeting comin' up so I've got to impress."

  
"If you come up with owt, I'm the first to hear it, right?" A beaming grin fills my face as I happily bounce on the balls of my feet like an excited puppy.

  
"Always babe."

  
\-----------------------

**Gary's POV**

  
In the end, I didn't get to meet Howard. Mark managed to persuade me to leave him on the street corner, I guess I owe it to him. After what happened with my parents, I'm still not out of the doghouse, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about him. Striding over towards the spare room door, as soon as I open it, a box instantly crashes to the floor. "Shit." I mutter, noticing that the box contains Mark's belongings. Who would of thought a homeless person could own so much?

 

Dropping to my knees, I begin to carefully load the box. It's going to take a good hour or two to tidy up this room, it's only the size of a shoe box! Suddenly something manages to catch my eye. Taking hold of the magazine, it's unable to hold back a laugh. "Dirty git." I smirk whilst reading the title, _**'PlayDude'**_. It doesn't surprise me that Mark owns gay magazines, I wouldn't personally buy any, I've had a couple of female ones in the past, but they never really interested me.

 

Flicking through the first few pages, my eyebrows rise by the images. Lots of leather and positions I didn't think bodies could bend. Who knew Mark had a kinky side to him? There's still a lot I don't know about him, maybe he even wants to try some of these sexual acts? Closing the book, I decide to leave the questions for later. If I want to get this room finished and practise on the keyboard before Mark gets home, ogling a gay porno magazine isn't going to help me in the slightest.

  
\-----------------

  
**(Meanwhile...)**

 

**Mark's POV**

 

Taking a deep breath, I push open the front door. The nerves only started to rise as soon as I said goodbye to Gary, I regret turning him away now, but I can't have him holding my hand twenty four seven.

 

Standing inside the empty barbers, I hear a voice echoing from the back of the room. As soon as the bell rings above the door when it closes, the conversation is cut short. "...Mate, I'm going to have to call you back. I have a customer...uh, right. Yeah, well...talk later. Bye, bye." Clenching my jaw, nervously I look into a mirror which is fixed onto the wall opposite me, but my gaze is shortly interrupted. "Sorry about that." A tall male appears, sweetly he smiles whilst striding towards me with his hand stretched out into my direction. "I'm Howard...Howard Donald, but you can call me Dougie."

  
Taking his hand, we exchange a friendly handshake. "...N...nice to meet you." Widely I smile, but that's mainly down to the nerves. "...I'm Mark...Mark Owen."

  
"Oooh, so you're Mark! Sorry, I thought you were a customer, I've got a new fella coming in later for a trim. You're Rob's mate, aren't ya?"

  
"Well...sort of, I met him through my part-...um, my... _mate_ who I'm currently staying with." Playing with my fingers, awkwardly I remain standing.

  
"It's good to have you here, it's unusual having friend's of Rob's turn up early. Usually they'd arrive an hour late and that's on a good day." The man smirks whilst stepping behind his desk. Scribbling down a few notes in what it looks like an appointment book, he checks his watch and shakes his head. "The customers are getting as bad as ex staff." Rolling his eyes, he breathes out a laugh. Smiling over towards the older man, I start to feel much calmer. "Anyway, there's no point giving you a trail on making a cuppa...unless you need one?" Rising an eyebrow, faintly he smiles towards me.

 

Laughing loudly, I unzip my coat. "If Gary was 'ere, he'd say I need one. There's always a problem when I make the teas, but that's just because he's fussy...unlike me." I lie, I'm the fussiest person alive. "...How many sugars?"

 

"Oh...er...just one please, mate."

 

Nodding my head I walk towards the back of the barbers. I'm surprised at myself at how calm and relaxed I've become, but Howard seems like a pretty cool guy and I really want-... well _need_ this job. It's only a few hours until I see Gary again, so I might aswell enjoy my first day instead of standing around like a loose part.

 

\---------------------

_**(1 hour later)** _

  
**Gary's POV**

  
  
With a clear pathway made inside of the spare room, I can finally walk around without having something jab me in the ribs or fall on my head. How on earth did I let such a small room get _so_ cluttered? I guess I've been far too focused on Mark and work at the moment, I've let everything else go over my head, I've only seen the bedroom the past couple of months.

 

Finally reaching my keyboard, immediately I blow away the dust. There's at least a few inches which has built up on it, that just shows how lazy I've been lately when it's come to songwriting. If I want this deal to work, new songs should be the first thing on my mind...well Mark comes first, of course.

 

Searching for the plug at the back of the keyboard, when leaning over the small table, something catches my eye. Without hesitating, I reach for the crumpled up piece of paper, I know it's going to be another distraction, but it could have something important jotted down on it. Leaning against the wall of the spare room, I try the best that I can to smoothen out the creases, enough for me to have a clear view of the writing. "Wait..." Softly I mumble to myself whilst scanning the writing, that's when it hits me. This isn't my writing.

  
_"Oh yeah. Say it can be, It will be, Hallelujah, us forever now..."_

  
This is a song.

 

Not just any song, but a _love_ song. And it isn't written by _me_. Sure, it's only a line long, but it's a start and it looks like it could be something beautiful. And written...by Mark?

 

Reading the words over and over several times, I cast my mind back to the day Mark told me about when he use to be in a band to cover songs, then when he was alone he'd write his own songs. He mentioned at the time that he didn't write love songs because he didn't have the _right_ person in his life to write about that stuff and he didn't want to use false emotions. Running a hand through my hair, I feel a lump form in my throat and happiness swells in my heart. Maybe he's finally found those emotions. I've always doubted whenever Dawn told me that she loved me and I still sometimes doubt it when Mark tells me, but if this song is written with me in mind, I guess it just shows he really does love me.

  
Thankfully, the sound of my mobile ringing from the kitchen, puts my waterworks on hold for the time being. Sprinting out of the small room, I leap over boxes before reaching my mobile. Without checking the caller ID, I pant out a breath whilst answering. "'ello?"

  
"...Gary? Are you OK, darling?"

  
It's Mum.

 

"Oh...er...yeah I am, I was just cleaning out the spare room...was goin' to write a few songs. What's wrong?" 

 

"Don't tire yourself out, darling." Calmly she speaks, which causes me to relax. It's hard not telling her the reason why the spare room has suddenly got so cramped, but opening up to her about Mark still scares me. I love my Mum, of course I love my Father too, but I've always been that bit closer towards her. I suppose she wouldn't be as hard on me as Dad would be about Mark, after all, he is the reason why me and Tyler were brought up in a household where being gay means you might as well be dead. It's disgusting. "I was actually calling to ask if you could do be a favour, regarding your brother." 

  
"Oh aye, what's he done this time? He hasn't broken anythin' of mine again has he?!"

  
"No, no. Nothing like that. Me and your Dad have been invited to his boss' dinner party tomorrow night, but it's in Birmingham, so we were wondering if you could look after him for a few days at yours? We'll be leavin' in a few hours so your Dad will drop him off and we'll pick him up in three days time."

  
Suddenly my heart feels like it's stopped beating. Is she serious?! She's just dropping him on me like that? And it seems I don't even have a say so on the matter either. Turning to look at the clock behind me, I notice that Mark will be home in a couple of hours. "I...Isn't that...a bit, sudden?!"

  
"He won't be any trouble, he' was planning on going to play football tomorrow afternoon so he won't interfere with your plans. Just make sure to drop him off and fetch him afterwards, your Dad will be leaving in a few minutes, Tyler's just packing."

  
"Packing?! I thought you only said a couple of days? Mum, I've got songs to write, it's important for my interview."

  
"Oh Gary, you'll be fine. You've already got a job, there's no point wasting your time."

  
Pinching the bridge of my nose, lightly I sigh. I wish she'd show some support when it comes to my musical career. They might think I'm wasting my time, but if my career takes off, they'll regret it when I'm travelling the world first class and living in America... _with_ Mark. "You could of given me notice..." Softly I grumble.

 

What on earth am I going to do about Mark?! I can't just toss him out like that, he's had his first day at work, he's going to be tired and will be needing a goodnight's rest. I can't even send him to Rob's because I don't trust his mates and why the hell should I just turn Mark out like that?!

 

Oh fuck it. He's staying. This _is_ his home as much as mine now. 

 

"Right, fine. But I don't want him messing around when he's here otherwise I'm sending him over to Birmingham." I threat.

  
\------------

 

**Mark's POV**

 

The beaming smile hasn't left my face since leaving the barbers. My first day went pretty well, I even got paid today and all I did was sweep up hair and make tea! I haven't felt proud of myself before, I guess that explains why I'm smiling so much, I can't wait to tell Gary.

 

Reaching the final set of stairs, as soon as I turn the corner, my smile manages to grow even more when my eyes set onto the blonde figure standing outside the door. "Gary!" Loudly I call as I begin to speed up towards the flat door.

 

Swiftly his head cracks into my direction and his smile reflects mine. "Ah, there you-" Throwing my arms tightly around the back of his neck, my nose rests against his shoulder and deeply inhales his scent. "You alright, mate? How was is it?" Pulling away slightly from the tight embrace, he runs a hand through my quiff.

 

"It went...really good, really good. _Look!"_ Removing a hand from the back of his neck, it dives into the back of my trouser pocket. Pulling out two crumpled up five pound notes, I wave them in front of his face.

 

"Wow, you even got paid? Well, that's bloody good then, isn't it?" Proudly he smiles, whilst wrapping his arms around my waist.

 

"So, takeaway and booze on me tonight? It won't be able to buy many beers though."

 

Gary shakes his head and rubs his nose against mine. "Save your money, treat _yourself."_

 

"God, I've missed you." Catching his lips against mine own, strangely he pulls away and releases me from his arms. Chewing his bottom lip, his eyes drop south which causes my stomach to churn. "...Gaz? What is it? What's wrong?"

 

"I...I er...promise you won't be mad?"

 

Feeling nerves immediately fill my body, I look at him slightly wide eyed. "...Have I done somethin' to upset you?"

 

"W...What? Oh...no, Marky, no...the thing is...well, we've got a visitor...staying with us tonight..."

 

Frowning my eyebrows slightly, the nerves are rapidly replaced with confusion. "Oh?...Rob?"

 

"No, no...I wish." Breathing a laugh, he scratches the back of his head and places his hands onto his hips. "...I was de-cluttering the spare room, when I got a call from me parents. They've gone off to some party for a few days up in Birmingham...and...asked if Tyler could stay 'ere for a few days."

 

Ah. I get the message.

 

"I understand. Have you packed me an overnight bag?"

 

Instantly Gary frowns by my words, almost like I've just thrown the biggest insult at him. "Eh?"

 

"I could stay with Rob...or I could try Mary, although I don't know exactly where she lives so that means I'm going to run into Jay at the shelter-"

 

Suddenly my speech is cut off as Gary takes a tight grip to my arms. "What are you talking about you daft sod? You're _not_ going anywhere."

 

"But...your brother is staying over? Won't it be a little...awkward? Especially with what happened the last time I met your family. What if he tells your parents?"

 

"I've spoken to him about that and I've warned him if he upsets you again, he's being sent to Birmingham. They don't know you're here and he's promised to keep it between us. Anything a bit of bribing can't do, eh?" A lopsided grin shows on his face and his thumbs caress my skin. "...The only problem is...we have to tone us down...just for a few days." 

 

"So that's why you were waiting outside for me?" Not going to lie, I feel slightly disappointed. I thought he was waiting to greet me from work, looks like he was waiting to warn me. 

 

Weakly he sighs. "I'm such an ass of a boyfriend aren't I? Today was suppose to be about you and your first day and I-"

 

"Shhh..." Placing my finger against his lips, I kiss his cheek. "You're an ass, but you're my pain in the ass, alright? Now, are you going to invite me inside so we can order this takeaway or am I going to have to eat you on the doorstep."

 

Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, he wraps his arms back around my frame and places his hands on the top of my ass. "...I'll make it up to you...I _promise."_ Swiftly he pecks my lips. "...And...you can eat me, anytime..." Tapping my backside, both of us cheekily giggle.

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

_**Mark's POV** _

 

Following Gary into the flat, immediately I notice a figure sitting crossed legged on the living room floor. "Look who's finally 'ere." Gary announces and firmly squeezes my shoulder, showing me support. 

 

The young boy's head swiftly cracks into my direction with a faint smile forming on his face. "Hello, Mark! Do you like horror movies?!" Excitedly he asks whilst searching through the pile of darkly coloured DVDs in front of him.

  
  
"Erh..." Smiling softly at Gary who just shakes his head in response, I walk over into the direction where Tyler is sitting. "...What do you have in mind? I'm not into those SAW films, they're a bit too gory for me."

 

"Nothin' too scary, I've told you. We don't want you having nightmares." Gary warns with a stern look. "I'll grab the pizza menus, won't be a sec. Pick a film with Tyler." Patting my backside out of sight, he winks before disappearing into the kitchen.

 

Standing awkwardly behind Tyler, I stare down at the differently coloured DVDs which are being carelessly tossed across the floor. I'm no good with kids, I've never had experience before, but I know I'm not good around other people who I don't really know. "What do you think?" The teenager huffs and rests a hand underneath his chin.

 

"I...er..." Dropping to my knees beside him, I glance down at the cases. "...I'm not fussed really, have you asked Gaz?"

 

"Yeah, but he prefers Disney, but he only ever cries over them..." Rolling his eyes, he flips a case over and scans the information on the back.

 

"Gary _cries_ over Disney?" Suddenly a smile fills my face and my heart weakens slightly.

 

How cute is that?!

 

"Yeah, he cried over all of the Toy Stories, Tangled, UP-"

 

"Ay!" Unexpectedly a voice speaks behind us, causes the pair of our heads to shoot around in shock. Standing inches away is Gary, holding leaflets and frowning slightly. "Don't go telling Mark lies."

 

"I wasn't! You _always_ cry over Disney's!"

 

Seeing Gary cheeks flush, only causes me to smile even more. "Is that right, Gaz?"

 

Scratching his chin, shyly he smiles to himself. "...I...I...- anyway." He shakes his head trying to hide his embarrassment. "...Are you even allowed to watch this stuff? Most of 'em are eighteens!" Gary points out as he swiftly changes conversation. "I'm not being held blame for scaring the life out of you."

 

"I always watch this stuff at me mates, that's where I borrowed them from. Besides, watching rated DVDs are nothing compared to half of the stuff you've done in your life." Tyler flutters his eyelashes playfully and I can't help but giggle. You can tell they're related to one another.

 

Heavily sighing, Gary gives in. "Alright, just hurry up and pick, but like I said, nothin' too scary, we don't want to scare Mark off now do we."

 

"Oi, speak for yourself! I'm no wimp." Trying to look serious, I place both of my hands on my hips whilst looking up at him, it doesn't last long until the pair of us crack a smile.

 

\----------------------

 

The film has been on roughly an hour and I'm getting tired as each minute passes. Tyler also copies my actions as he lays on the floor falling in and out of sleep, but wakes up as soon as he hears Gary continue to babble on throughout the movie. After a long debate, we settled on watching a zombie movie, it's a fifteenth rated but really it should be at least PG, it's awfully corny. Well, with the way Gary's been acting you'd think he was actually inside the TV screen, Tyler was right, he is a wuss...but not that I'm complaining.

 

"Why would you even run away from a zombie?! It has one flippin' leg!" Loudly Gary crunches on his popcorn and continues to shake the bag whilst his eyes are glued to the flashing screen.

 

"...Because...it's a movie, Gaz. Nothing is _ever_ simple." Resting my head against his shoulder, I nuzzle my cheek against the thin fabric of his shirt. I didn't know how much I could crave for simple touches from him, until they're restricted. My first day at work has drained me, mainly down to stressing about it through the morning, but right now I wish that I could cuddle up in Gary's arms.

 

"...Dozy cow! I told you not to run. You deserve to be eaten!" He continues to mutter at the TV whilst shaking his head.

 

Smirking to myself, I glance down at the figure curled up on the floor. Luckily for him, he's given in. Nudging Gary gently against the ribs with my elbow, I nod my head into the direction of Tyler's sleeping form. "...Think someone found the movie a little borin'."

 

"How is people being eaten alive classed as boring?!"

 

"Oh, right sorry, yeah...I forgot you that you chickened out at those parts...Tyler was right, you _are_ a wuss." Running my hand through my messy hair, I release a yawn.

 

"Ay, I felt you flinch a couple of times through that!" Reaching for the remote, he grimaces one final time at the images on the screen before turning it off.

 

Weakly I laugh. "The only times I flinched was when you was shouting at the screen or hiding behind your pillow!" Moving towards his face, I pucker up my lips, until it suddenly hits me. "...What...what's the sleeping arrangements tonight?"

 

"Well, he already said he wasn't going to sleep with me because I snore too much, bloody cheek, eh?!" Shaking his head, he grabs hold of the sleeping bag and places it onto the sofa which I'm sitting on. "...We're gonna have to top an' tail in bed." Cheekily he winks, before tapping his foot against Tyler's body. "Go and get yourself to bed, mate. I'll sort him out. You look knackered, I won't be long myself."

 

Nodding my head, I drag myself into the bedroom. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I know I won't be waking up for a week. Taking hold of one of the pillows, I place it at the foot of the bed. I shouldn't be surprised that Gary said that we'll be sleeping this way tonight, after all, our relationship is still a secret, so it wouldn't be a natural thing seeing your brother cuddled up next to his _mate_ in bed.

 

As soon as I start to undress, Gary appears into the room and swiftly locks the door behind him. "Oh, back so soon? Thought I was going to have the bed to meself." Playfully I tease whilst removing my shirt.

 

"You might as bloody well have the bed to yourself sometimes. Woke up twice this mornin' without any duvet. _Twice!"_ Unable to hold back a smile, he breathes out a laugh whilst wrapping his arms around my waist. "...I've been dying to get my hands on you all night. Sorry about not being able to ask you properly about your first day. I'm a lousy boyfriend." Mumbling against my chest, he pouts slightly.

 

"Far from it, Gaz. There was nothing to tell, Howard's a great guy and the work is easy. I'm sure I can fit you in for a freebie soon..." Running my hand through his messy hair, tiredly I smile down at him. "...What did you get up to today anyway? Did you manage to clear some space?"

 

"Oh yeah...well, sort of. Kinda got distracted by some _treasures_ I found." Wiggling his eyebrows, he cheekily grins at me. "...When I say treasures, I mean...porn mags." Instantly my mouth drops south slightly. "...Sorry, I was being nosy through your boxes. They looked... _interesting."_

 

Is the word he decides to settle on. To be honest, I can't even remember the last time I looked at a porn magazine since being with Gary and why would I need to? It does cross my mind however, what exactly he was doing looking through it to start with, maybe looking through wasn't the _only_ thing he was doing with it.

 

Fuck. That image.

 

"Well, you can keep them, because I won't be needing them anytime soon." Pinching his arse, my smile broadens. "I'm knackered tonight, but I'll make it up to you in the morning, yeah?"

 

"Mmm...now that is my kind of morning to look forward to." Pecking my lips, he taps my backside before walking over towards the bed. "...Why is the pillow at the bottom of the bed?"

 

"Oh...I thought that's how we were going to sleep tonight? You said when we were in the-"

 

  
Gary erupts into laughter, which cuts my sentence short. "You really are a daft sod, Mark Owen. I only said that incase Tyler was still awake. Better safe than sorry, right?" 

 

Feeling my cheeks begin to burn, I feel incredibly stupid right now. 

 

\----------------------

 

The strong smell of burning fills my nostrils and causes me to stir in my sleep. "G...Gaz...?" Weakly I mumble. Trying to move my aching body, the space beside me feels empty. Snapping open my eyelids, I discover that I'm in bed. Alone. The room is almost pitch black and grey smoke floods around me. Instantly panic rushes over me. "N...no please...please no..."

 

It's happening, it's happening again.

 

In seconds the smoke fills my lungs, making it incredibly difficult to breathe, but I can't move. Sharply I tug my wrists from above my head, but it's no good. I'm tied to the bed, all four limbs are tied tightly to the bed. Breathing faster, sweat almost pours from my forehead from fear and from the rapidly rising temperature, as my body begins to shake. I'm tied to the bed and there's a fire. "Help! Help me! Gary, please!" What if he's escaped and left me? It's obvious that someone has purposely done this to me.

 

My thoughts are interrupted by a deafening bang. Squeezing my eyes closed as tightly as possible, any second now I know I'm going to pass out. Hearing the fire roar, it burns around my nostrils.

 

Peering through one of my eyelids, the flames dance in front of my eyes. The door has collapsed and the fire spreads around the room, I can feel the heat on my bare flesh.

 

Tears run down my cheeks, but dry in seconds due to the heat. "I'm going to die. I'm going to die." I tell myself. There's a heavy feeling pressing against the centre of my chest and on my torso, making it harder to breathe, it's almost like someone has cut off my air supply or is holding a pillow over my face. "Help!" Using most of my energy, it's no use. The fire burns the duvet which is hanging off the bed and it begins to travel towards the direction of my covered leg. "Plea...pl...please...n...no...not...again...Gary! Gary! Ga- Argh!" Loudly I yell feeling excruciating pain.

 

"Mark! Mark! It's me!" A voice calls over my screams. The room falls to complete darkness and I feel my body shaking. "Mark!" A slap against my cheek causes me to wake up.

 

Inhaling a sharp intake of air, I sit upright and I come face to face with a figure who is currently sitting on top of me. The room is no longer pitch black, as a dull light now brings some colour back into the room. The fire and smoke is no longer in sight either. "F...f...fire...fire..." Grabbing hold of my wrists, I notice that I'm no longer tied to the bed and my leg isn't on fire anymore.

 

"You were dreaming?! You were just dreaming...just dreaming..." Gary pants and continues to tightly hold onto my shoulders. His face is a glowing pink and his skin is slightly sweaty.

 

"...D...dreaming?" Still, I continue to pant for my breath back and my body still continues to shake, but not as much as before. "...B...but...but I felt it...my...my leg...it was one fire. Someone tied me to the bed...you left...you left me...on my own tied to the bed...I was going to die..." Tears fall from my eyes and I still fear for my life even though I'm now in my safe place, Gary's arms.

 

"Oh...Mark...oh babe, no. I'd never leave." Cradling me against his chest, he runs his hand through my hair. "...I'd _never_ leave you..." Planting kisses against my scalp, tightly I hold onto him, refusing to let him go.

 

The pain felt real, too real infact. It was the exact pain I felt when I was trapped in the house all those years ago, the scars on my neck are the constant reminder of that painful memory and now it continues to scar my mind. I haven't had a night terror for a while and I definitely haven't had one as bad as this in a long time. "...I...I'm...so sorry..." I whisper against his covered chest, inhaling the smell of fabric softener on his t shirt, I squeeze my fingers into his flesh.

 

"Shh..." Rocking me lightly in his arms, he comforts me. "...Don't apologise...never apologise." Rubbing his palm against my spine, his lips peck against my temple, gradually I begin to calm down. "...Was it because of the movie?"

 

Nuzzling against his collar bone, lightly I shake my head. "N...n...no. I thought I was over these terrors... I guess, it was a slip up. I'm sorry for scaring you..."

 

"Don't worry about that, I'm just glad you're OK. I know talkin' about it will be the last thing on your mind right now, it's probably best to try and forget about it...after it is almost four in the morning, you must be shattered. But, just so that you know, I'm always 'ere for you, babe. _Always."_ Running his fingers through my hair, finally my heart beats into a steady pace and I feel comfortable. "...No one will hurt you, not whilst I'm living, I mean it."

 

Breathing a sigh of relief, my eyes become heavy once again whilst I rest against Gary's frame. "...I love you...so much." Weakly I breathe against his chest.

 

"I love you more..." Still holding me in his arms, carefully he lays me back down onto the mattress whilst wrapping the pair of us under the duvet.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Gary's POV** _

__

Turning over in the bed, as soon as my eyes flicker open they focus onto the soundlessly sleeping figure beside me. Seeing him look so peaceful right now, saddens me when remembering what happened just a few hours ago. I thought the night terrors and bad dreams had stopped, because they haven't happened for a while, but I guess something has triggered them again. Sadly I smile at him whilst gently brushing my fingers against his cheek whilst he remains in a deep sleep. He really doesn't deserve a life this way, even if he thinks he deserves to be punished, he really doesn't. I wish I could help him, I'd happily take his pains and fears away, but I can't, it's not that easy.

 

Softly Mark groans minutes later and rubs the side of his face against the pillow a couple of times. Tilting my head onto one side, I notice his eyes begin to flicker slightly which causes a faint smile to appear onto my my face. As much as I would love to sit and watch Mark sleep, I'd much rather have him in my arms. "Mornin' butterfly..."

 

Stretching out this body before mumbling one final time, tiredly he smiles with half lidded eyes. "...Mmm...Morning..."

 

"How're you?"

 

Nudging closer to where I'm resting, he lays the side of his head against my chest and happily sighs. "...Pretty good...you?"

 

"I'm fine...was just worried about you, that's all..." Running my fingers through his messy bed hair, sadly I smile down at him.

 

Lifting his head seconds later, his eyes show nothing but guilt and sadness. "I'm really sorry for scarin' you...I...I don't know why it happened, maybe it was because it were the first time meeting your brother...I'm not really good around new people and I was pretty nervous, but that doesn't explain why it made the terrors that realistic. I haven't had one as bad as that in a while."

 

Still my fingers play with strands of his hair, helping him to stay relaxed. "...The only thing that I can think of is the movie, I know you said it being cheesy an' that, but there was fire in that...plus we went straight to bed after it, so it was still fresh in your mind..."

 

Shrugging his shoulders, deeply he sighs. "...Suppose you're right. I just hate how I can't even watch a simple movie without flipping out." 

 

Sadly I breathe out a sigh. "If you need to go to the doctor's or somebody who is professional to talk to...you know that I'll always be there for you, right?" 

 

Looking up at me, he threads his fingers through mine before sadly smiling down at our joined hands. "...Bet you never thought you'd end up dating a nutter."

 

"Babe..." Shaking my head, gently I press my lips against his temple. "You're not a nutter, sure you're crazy sometimes, but you're crazy in a good and fun way. I just want you to be happy, that's all I want." 

 

"As long as I'm with you... I will be..." 

 

"Same here." Lifting our hands towards my face, my lips peck against the top of his hand. "...I love you." 

 

Dropping his head against my shoulder, swiftly he changes the mood as he breathes out a laugh. "...How much?" 

 

"Don't think I can give you a straight answer on that one, babe. There's no words good enough to measure how much." 

 

Sliding up the headboard, widely he smiles, the biggest smile I've seen in hours, even the tiredness in his eyes begin to fade as the spark reappears. "You're such a soppy sod..." Moving his face closer to mine so that our lips are just hovering inches away from one anothers. "I'm so lucky..." Closing the gap, slowly we begin to kiss. It feels so long since we've been this close, I guess it shows that I can't survive a few hours without touching or kissing Mark.

 

Sliding his tongue into my mouth as soon as I open it to release a moan, our tongues brush together during the lingering kiss. Running my hands down his back which is covered by a thin t shirt, the embrace is broken as he rests on top of my lap. 

 

"...How lucky are you?" I tease as soon as the kiss comes to an end. 

 

Playfully he rolls his eyes whilst sitting on top of me. "...Maybe I could _show_ you, Mr Barlow." Reaching backwards whilst his eyes remain on mine, lightly he strokes my semi hard erection through the duvet. "...Always nice to see you  _happy_ in the morning, even if you still look like a grumpy git." He smirks as he begins to squeeze me from the material.

 

"I'm never grumpy in the morning..." Lowering my voice, I finally remember that my brother is just meters away from us in the living room and any second now he could possibly walk in, but at this very moment, I don't even care. 

 

"You know that's a lie, Gaz!" Lightly Mark chuckles whilst reaching over into the bedside table. Pulling out a black foil square packet, tearing the side open with his teeth, I continue to lay flat on my back whilst watching Mark's movements. In seconds, the duvet is ripped from my body and my pants continue to tighten by every passing second. "...Do you want to...you know? Do this?" 

 

Smirking slightly, I tilt my head onto one side whilst smiling up at the male who is straddling me. "Since when have I said no to you?" 

 

His cheeks burn a light red whilst he fiddles with the condom wrapper. "...Your brother is next door-" 

 

"And?" 

 

"And...he could walk in...or he could hear us..." 

 

Maybe it's because I'm horny or maybe it's because I no longer care what people think of me, but right now, I don't even give a shit about being caught out. I don't want to live a life a lie anymore. I am who I am and there's no way I'm going to change that. "...It's been too long..." Running my tongue against my bottom lip, faintly he smiles before continuing with his actions. Edging off my body slightly, he removes my underwear and watches as my erection springs free against his stomach. "Mmm..." Gently I mumble, feeling Mark's fingers run down my entire length, before sliding on the condom. 

 

"I...I might be a little...tight." Shyly he smiles whilst reaching for the lube out of the drawer. 

 

"Just how I like it..." 

 

Climbing back on top of me, once he discards his own underwear and applies more lube than necessary, he gives my dick a couple of strokes before positioning me against himself. Immediately his teeth crash together by the feel of my tip entering him and his eyes tightly close. "...O...Oh...g...g...God!" The brunette almost chokes out, but instantly sucks in his moans. 

 

"Fu...fuck." I hiss, as I begin to slowly fill him. He wasn't joking, he really _is_ tight, it's almost like the first time all over again. It really has been _too_ long. It takes a few minutes until I fully fill Mark, noticing the look on his face, concerns me. "...A...Are you...ok?" 

 

"Y...Yeah...of course..." Already panting slightly, he learns forwards so our faces are close once again. Kissing the side of my mouth, quietly he whispers against my cheek. "Gon...gonna move now." 

 

Swallowing back my moans, I grip to either side of his waist. "I wan...want you so much..." I murmur whilst the back of my head rubs against the pillow. Resting his palms flat against my bare chest, very slowly he begins to move up and down. 

 

"O...Oh..." Biting his bottom lip, his finger nails scratch against my chest. Increasing the pace of his hips minutes later, I almost end up losing it too soon. "...Like...like... that?" 

 

Gripping tighter to his small hips, I begin thrusting my hips up against him. Moving my hand up his thighs, I wrap my fist around his own hardening cock. "God, yeah. So fuckin' much. Ride me." I demand just how Mark likes it. Speeding up my fist, I feel him begin to leak into the palm of my hand. 

 

"N...not...not gonna last long...sorry..." Panting faster whilst riding me in the same rhythm, I can't keep my eyes off him. It only takes a couple more strokes until Mark surrenders, shooting his load over my chest and torso. Drawing the cries from his lips as I pump out every last drop, watching Mark's face above me as he orgasms is truly a beautiful sight to witness. "...G...G...Gaz...Gar...Gary..." Collapsing against my chest, his come sticks against my body and his t shirt. Abruptly I still my movements. "...C...continue..." 

 

"...Are you...sure?" 

 

"Muh uh..." Weakly he mumbles against my collar bone. 

 

Heavily I breathe out. "Ride me, babe." 

 

Taking a break for a minute, he does as I instruct, riding me much harder and faster than before, causes me to slip out a couple of times. Once I'm back into position, I reach my hand up towards his softening dick, giving it few swift strokes, loudly Mark groans. Digging my teeth into my bottom lip, I feel myself swell deep inside of Mark. It's becoming impossible to hold back any longer. "...C...come...come for me, Gaz." Heavily Mark pants out before sinking his teeth into the side of my neck. Feeling his teeth and lips go to work on the sensitive part of my neck, it manages to push me over the edge.

 

Pounding a final time inside of him, deeply I push myself as far as I can until I finally let go. 

 

"Ah fuck! Mark!" Falling flat against the mattress, I feel all of my energy slip away from my body. Wrapping my arms tightly around Mark's frame, I nuzzle my face against his shoulder. The pair of us lay together in a sweaty, sticky mess, not speaking a word whilst we pant for our breath back. 

 

_Perfect._

 

**(30 minutes later...)**

 

Mark decided to stay in bed for a little while longer, whereas I had to force myself out of bed to go and have a shower. Creeping out of the bathroom, I'm soon stopped in my tracks by a figure staring at the TV. 

 

"Been up long?" Releasing a yawn whilst I walk into the living room, Tyler lays on the sofa with the TV on low.

 

"About twenty minutes...where's Mark?"

 

Swiftly walking into the kitchen, I turn on the kettle. A large coffee is needed. "He's still in bed..." I mumble to myself. Once the kettle is boiled, I pour in the hot water into my mug, making a strong black coffee, before walking back into the living room. "...He...he needs his rest."

 

Nodding his head, he goes back to watching the colourful screen. Today I have my appointment with Mr Clark, the guy who I met about my music career. Seeing as I didn't turn up to the audition last time, because of Mark's disappearance, today is really a second chance, proving that I really do want this. I vaguely mentioned it to Mark yesterday when he came home from work, but after last night, I don't blame him for staying in bed. He doesn't need to go with me, because like I said, it isn't an audition, but that doesn't make me any less nervous about the whole thing. Softly I sigh to myself whilst taking a sip of the hot liquid.

 

"Were...were you two arguing last night and this morning?" The young boy asks, knocking me out of my silent thoughts and looking slightly concerned.

 

"I...er...what makes you think that?"

 

Shrugging his shoulders, he focuses back onto the TV. Me and Tyler have never been close, he's always been the spolit one out of the two, he's always been the favourite one too, so because of how my parents treat us, it's turned us against one another through the years. But that doesn't mean I don't love him, he _is_ my brother. We do get along, mainly when our parents aren't around though. "...I heard Mum and Dad talking about him the other night, nothing good of course, but they were saying about homeless people always want pity and they're usually violent people because they sleep on the streets and that sends them crazy... and...last night I heard shouting...so I thought-" 

 

Sitting down onto the sofa's arm, immediately I cut him off. "No." Still, my parents continue to bad mouth Mark, even when I'm not around. If it wasn't so early in the morning, I'd be on that phone right now, giving them an ear full, but I don't want to drop Tyler in it either. "...Mark isn't like that at all. No matter what they say, they don't know him. He...he was just having a bad dream...since his accident he sometimes suffers from them, there's no way he'd hurt me. He isn't homeless and he certainly isn't violent or crazy. He's a great man...and a fantastic lov...erm...fantas...fantastic friend, Mark is."

 

"Mark is what?" Suddenly a hoarse voice questions behind me. Almost falling off the sofa's arm, I tilt my head over my shoulder.

 

"Oh...look who's awake." Widely I smile, whilst placing my mug onto the coffee table. Instantly I stop myself from giving him a morning kiss, it's weird having to change your daily routines so abruptly. "...How are you feelin'?"

 

Releasing a long yawn, he scratches the back of his head. "...Feeling fantastic...if I'm honest." Cheekily he smiles. "Can I have one of those?" Pointing to my mug, lightly I smile whilst stroking his bare arm (thankfully Tyler keeps his eyes glued to the flashing screen).

 

"Sit yourself down, I'll make you one before I leave." Walking into the direction of the kitchen, he decides to follow me instead.

 

"I didn't realise you had work today? Sorry...I probably forgot." Shaking his head, silently he scolds himself. Swiftly I close the kitchen door once he's inside and I quickly pull him close to place a kiss onto his lips. I've been needing that. Seeing colour reappear back into his face and his eyes light up over the simple kiss, causes me to breathe a sigh of relief.

 

"No...no work today, mate." I place the ingredients into the mug whilst the water boils. "...I've got a meeting...I mentioned it briefly yesterday before the movie. I missed it last time...so they just want to talk to me about it today, get to know some other staff an' that. It's not an audition, but if I'm successful today, then hopefully I'll be given that chance again."

 

Suddenly the colour drains from Mark's face again, now looking deflated and his lips turn into a massive frown. "Of course...how could I forget?!" Sadly he bows his head and deeply sighs. "This is a big moment for you and I already ruined it once for you...and now I can't even support you the second time around."

 

"No...no, no. You've had enough on your mind, honest, it's fine. The first time...it wasn't your fault, I'm just thankful they've given up their time to see me today. I doubt you're even allowed to come today, it'll be like a business meeting or something. It'll be boring for me so it'll be worse for you." Lightly I laugh whilst handing him his mug. "Your support means the world to me, whether you're there holding my hand at the meeting today or not. But now whilst you're awake, I was wonderin'...if you could look after Tyler today? I was going to tell him to stay in and watch TV, quietly, whilst you were sleepin', but now you're awake it'd be good for the pair of you to get a blow of fresh air. What do you say?"

 

Mark raises his eyebrows and takes a sharp sip from his steaming mug. "Wow..." Clearing his throat with a cough, he chews his bottom lip as the nerves suddenly begin to build inside of his body. "I...er...I don't have anything against him...it's just...I'm not any good with kids...sure, he's not a kid, but...well...you know."

 

"Mark, you're fine with him. I saw you yesterday gettin' along looking through the films and later on telling him stories and making him laugh. He likes you. He just gets excited sometimes and doesn't always use his brain, but that's kids for you." Stroking his cheek with the side of my hand, I stare at him lovingly. "I wouldn't leave you alone with him if I didn't trust either of you. It'd help me out... _a lot."_

 

Entwining our fingers together, he sighs again. "You really know how to twist me arm, don't you? Bloody puppy dog eyes." Pecking my lips, our foreheads press together whilst we smile at one another. "Alright...but...you owe me, ok?"

 

Pecking his lips one final time, I glance down at my watch, feeling slightly glum noticing the time. "I love you...so much." Quietly I whisper, whilst pulling the smaller male into an embrace.

 

\------------------------

 

**Mark's POV**

 

After Tyler finally decided to get dressed, an hour and a half after Gary left for his meeting, we're currently on the park playing some football. I've never been good with kids, well, to be honest, I've never actually been left alone to babysit or anything before. That just proves that no one has ever trusted me to look after their children and Gary was just desperate to get Tyler out of the flat for a bit, hopefully tire him out. I know Gary wants children, he's mentioned it to me a couple of times before, but me? I don't, well, not at the moment I don't. Ever since I became homeless after confessing about being gay, I never wanted to put my children through my miserable life. It wouldn't be fair on them, plus a lot of people don't believe in surrogate or adopting when it comes to being gay. So I'm fucked, really. That only worries me when it comes to Gary, if he wants kids, then maybe he shouldn't be stuck with m-

 

"Mark!"

 

My thoughts are abruptly wiped away from my mind as a white ball comes full speed into my face. Knocking me to the floor with a hard whack, my head turns fuzzy as I blink up at the grey looking sky. "Ah..." I whimper whilst holding my forehead. Tyler appears above my head, nervously smiling down at me and offering a hand.

 

"S...sorry...I did call, but you were on another planet." Helping me back to my feet, shyly he smiles at my mud covered face.

 

"N...no...it's fine. I was busy day dreaming, don't worry about it mate." Painting on a smile, I reassure him. "No harm done, probably knocked some sense into me." Prodding my nose, I'm surprised it didn't get broken, but thankfully the ball is almost deflated. 

 

Chuckling up at me, he picks up the muddy ball. "I don't know why Mum and Dad don't like you, I think you're pretty cool, even if you're a terrible goalie."

 

"Oh...er...cheers, mate." Lightly I laugh whilst we sit down onto a bench on the park.

 

"...Sorry...no offence."

 

"None taken. I understand that your parents don't like me, or, to rephrase that, hate me. A lot of people do-"

 

"Gary doesn't." Running his finger through the water and mud on the leather of the ball, faintly he smiles at me. "...He thinks a lot of you...I can tell."

 

Uncontrollably, a smile graces my face. It's impossible to act calm when Gary's name is mentioned. "And I think a lot about him too...I look up to him, I guess..." Shyly I smile whilst breaking eye contact. "...But I'm sure I drive him up the wall, he tells me enough times."

 

"Me and Gaz aren't close and never really have been, but I do know when he's happy. And you seem to do that, so thank you."

 

Slowly I lift my eyes up to meet the boy's next to me. Faintly we smile at one another and I feel that we've bonded. Definitely bonded more now than we did over the footie match. "You've got a good head on your shoulders, mate. Gaz is lucky to have you, that's for sure."

 

Rolling his eyes, he breathes out a short laugh. "Make sure you tell Gary that then!" Dropping the ball to the ground, he rubs his hands onto his dark mud covered jeans. "...I...um, was wonderin'. C...can I ask...you something?" Noticing the mood change, he becomes serious now, which wipes the smile off my face.

 

"Sure...anything?" Even though me and Tyler aren't close, I hope he knows that he can trust me with anything he tells me. I wouldn't go running to Gary, not unless he wanted me to tell him. I'm not like that. If I tell people that they can trust me, I mean it. Even if we aren't friends anymore, their secrets will still remain a secret.

 

Fiddling with his fingers, softly he sighs. It takes a minute or two until he builds up the courage to ask me whatever is on his mind. "Well...I...I...was...just wondering...are you...are you and Ga-"

 

"Mark!" Loudly a voice calls from the opposite side of the pitch, cutting off Tyler's question.

 

Looking up, I frown at the figure who's waving into our direction. "...Is that-"

 

"Gary?" Tyler questions, noticing his brother appear into a much clearer view. A huge grin is plastered on his face. He tenses at the sight of Gary and picks up his ball again. Before I get chance to ask what exactly he was going to say, he avoids my contact as he begins to kick the ball onto the pitch.

 

"Surprise!" Standing now just a couple of inches away from me, I continue to focus on Tyler who happily plays by himself. What was he going to say? "Hello? Earth to Marky?" A hand waves in front of my eyes and the other squeezes my shoulder.

 

"Uh? Oh...Oh hey, you!" Widely I smile up at my lover.

 

"Is everythin' ok? He hasn't been giving you any trouble, has he?" Glancing over his shoulder, he glares at his brother who scores a goal into the unguarded goal.

 

"No...no, it's been... great, actually. Rather enjoyed spending time with him." Patting the empty space beside me, I feel like giving him a massive hug, but sadly, I can't. "How was your meeting? They weren't too hard on you, were th-"

 

"Gary? Are we going home yet? I really need a bath..." Tyler interrupts the pair of us. 

 

Looking at Tyler than back to me. Gary barks out a laugh noticing the state of us. "I think you both need to get cleaned up..."

 

\------------------------

 

With Tyler now having a soak in the bath, me and Gary can finally talk over what happened at the meeting today.

 

"It went fantastic. They weren't too bothered that I didn't turn up to the audition, they're impressed with my motivation and what I want in the career. I showed them something I had written from a few years ago and I told them about what type of songs I like to cover and what artists I prefer, mainly the older generation and they loved it. Told me that I need get writing and they'll arrange an audition so I can play them. Hopefully they'll be good enough so I get a contract." Gary leans against the work surface and the smile hasn't left his face all afternoon.

 

I feel the tears begin forced back in my eyes as I continue to feel proud over my boyfriend. This has been his dream ever since he was a child and now he's finally going to achieve it. "Oh...Gaz..." Happily I sigh. Wrapping my arms tightly around the back of his neck, I squeeze him tightly against my body. "I am so...so proud of you. You deserve this more than anyone else in the world."

 

"Not so sure about that, lad. I mean, I'm sure there's better singers and writers than me...I'm kinda bricking it, but I'm also excited...very excited..." Pulling away from the embrace slightly, he grins at me whilst staring deep into my eyes. "I couldn't of done it without your support...If I hadn't of met you, I doubt I would of bothered with any of this. I guess I would of listened to my parents and I'd be working for Nigel for the rest of my life. I can't wait to hopefully see the back of him."

 

"I'm sure he'd like to see the back of you too..." Playfully I tease with a sexual joke, which rewards me with a head shake and a look of disgust.

 

"Mark! Don't be so revolting! Ugh." Gary scrunches up his face at the thought of ever being in that position with Nigel.

 

Laughing softly, I nuzzle my lips against the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry, babe." I mumble against his skin, feeling him happily sigh into my hair. "...I'm going to be here for you...no matter what, I mean it. It's going to be tough and I'm sure there's going to be times where you feel that you're slipping away, but it'll be worth it. Just think...one day you're going to be walking down the street and your name will be up in lights and you'll be standing on that stage in front of thousands...maybe even in a stadium."

 

"Wow..." Gary mumbles and his eyes widen at the thought. "You really have that much faith in me?"

 

"So much...so much, Gaz..." Running my fingers up his chest, they rest underneath his chin, our lips connect together to create a lingering kiss, but it's soon interrupted by a voice.

 

"Gary, where did you put my-"

 

Swiftly Gary draws back from the kiss, but it's too late. Turning around on the spot, whilst remaining in Gary's arms, the pair of us stare down at the boy who's mouth is slightly ajar. Looking at Gary out of the corner of my eye, I notice that all the colour has drained from his face, it's almost like I'm holding onto a ghost. I'm sure he wishes he was a ghost right now, just so that he can disappear.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Gary's POV** _

 

It feels like time has frozen. My mouth moves, but no words are spoken. Tyler's eyes fill with disappointment, as they avert to the kitchen floor. Not speaking a word, he walks back out of the room and closes the door behind him, leaving me and Mark alone and still remain in our hugging embrace. Dryly I swallow. I can't believe it. I'm scared, not because I'm embarrassed about being caught out by my brother or regret ever meeting Mark, but I'm scared I'm going to lose my family.

 

"Gaz?...Gary...?" Fingers brush against my cheek, forcing me to look down at the figure in my arms. It's Mark. Sadly he smiles up at me and holds my face in his hands. "...Talk to him."

 

"I...I...I don't know what to say..." Feeling incredibly disappointed with myself, I see the sadness build up on Mark's face. It's not fair how I'm still treating to him, he deserves better than this, than... me.

 

"Say what you need to say. If you want to deny us...then...d...do it. I'll understand..." Stroking my arms, our fingers entwine together. I've never met anyone like him before, he honestly has a heart of gold and he doesn't have a bad bone in his body. No. I can't do this to him, I can't keep hiding him. I love him and he deserves to be shown.

 

"No...no more hiding. I'm going to tell him the truth, about us...about the real me. Then...I'm going to tell my parents the next time I see them...face to face, I'll tell them. I love...I love you." Pressing my palms flat against his cheeks, I place a tender kiss onto his lips, before faintly smiling at him.

 

"...I love you too..." Quietly he whispers whilst stroking my biceps. He knows that this is a big deal for me, but I'm not going to deny anything. He's stood by me enough already, I'm proud of him and I never want to be without him, not again. I owe him this.

 

Walking into the living room, I notice the younger boy sitting alone on the sofa, rolling his football against the palms of his hands, I feel invisible. I've never had a heart to heart before with Tyler, he probably hates me for being gay...or bi...it's probably embarrassing for him.

 

"...Hey..."

 

Not taking his eyes away from the leather ball, sadly he bows his head. "...Are you and Mark...?"

 

Running my tongue lesiurely against my bottom lip, slowly I make my way over to the sofa and I perch myself onto the arm. "...Y...Yeah..." I reply minutes later. "...Me and Mark...we're...we're...together." As soon as the words finally leave my mouth, it feels like a ton of bricks have been lifted from my shoulders. The words have been dying to escape my mouth for so long and now they're finally free. Nodding his head, he doesn't speak. "...Do you...hate me?"

 

"...Why would I hate you?"

 

"...Because...I'm datin' a guy...I understand if you're embarrassed about that..." Playing with my fingers, we continue to avoid eye contact with one another.

 

"...Do you love him?"

 

Lightly I nod my head. "...Yes...I...I do." The last time I told someone that I loved them and truly meant it was to Dawn, but as harsh as it sounds, she's nothing like him. No one could ever fill my heart the way Mark does, he fixed the broken pieces back together and brought light back into my life.

 

"Then, I don't hate you. I like Mark...he's fun...and nice to me. If he makes you happy, why do you need to ask if you two being together makes everyone else happy?"

 

His words hit me like a slap in the face. Am I hearing right? Is this boy next to me even my brother?! Never in a million years did I expect him to speak like that to me, it's a shock. A massive shock. He's a teenager and he's speaking so much sense. He's so right, why do I need to ask permission from people about who I date? I'm not a child, I'm not underage and I have my head screwed on (maybe not all the time, but still I know what I want). This is my life and I've fallen in love with another man, so what? Is the Earth suddenly going to explode because of that? It's the twenty first century, men can marry other men and the same goes for women, love is love and my brother (of all people) who has been a pain in the ass for donkey's years, understands that.

 

"Wow..." A mutter out moments later. "...I...I didn't expect you to be so understanding..."

 

"Just because we argue and Mum and Dad usually play us against one another, doesn't mean I don't understand what's right and what's wrong." Lightly he chuckles. "...Oh, when are you planning on telling them?"

 

Biting my bottom lip nervously, I know they aren't going to be as understanding as Tyler. I doubted his knowledge and they'll just act like he's a dumb kid. "Er...I haven't actually planned when, I mean, I've promised Mark I will tell them...we've been together a few months and we were together when you came over with them, obviously no one knew apart from me, Mark and Rob, but you saw how things went then..." Sighing at the thought, I hate how things are going to turn out, I wish I was stressing over nothing, but they'll react badly to this, I just know it. "...Maybe next week...or the week after... I want to be face to face though."

 

Nodding his head, softly he smiles. "...Well, as long as you do tell them, then that's good. Mark deserves it..."

 

Shuffling down to take the seat next to him on the sofa, proudly I smile. This is the first time we've had a grown up conversation, this is how things should be instead of constantly fighting over pointless things. Life is too short. Wrapping my arm over his shoulder, I pat his arm with my free hand. "...Thanks for understanding, mate. It means a lot to know I have support, to me and of course Mark. Just so you know, if you ever need to talk to anyone or need a place to get away to for a few days, you're always welcome. It was nice seeing you and Mark earlier today spending time together, I hope that will happen more often. When I've spoken to Mum and Dad, hopefully the three of us could go out for a meal or something, bring a friend along if you like."

 

Smiling up at me, he raises his eyebrows. "Throw in a chocolate sundae and you've got yourself a deal!"

 

Playfully I roll my eyes. "You're such a cheeky git, you know? Now...come 'ere...give your brother a big cuddle!" Wrapping both of my arms around him, the football rolls across the floor as soon as it slips from his hands.

 

"Oh get off! Get off!" Loudly he laughs as he tries to squirm away from my smothering hug.

 

Wrapping my arms tightly around my brother, I notice Mark standing at the kitchen door frame smiling lovingly at the pair of us. Widely I grin whilst I continue the embrace and happily sigh.

 

I couldn't be happier right now.

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

_**Mark's POV** _

  
_(3 days later...)_

 

Removing the key from the exhaust, the car stills and silence becomes present. Holding onto the steering wheel, slightly Gary bows his head and the sadness grows on his face. It's going to be hard for him and I hate I'm the cause of all of this, but we can't keep hiding away. If we want a life together, today is the day we'll start our journey in the open. "Hey...it will be OK." Placing my hand onto of his knee, gently I rub my palm against the material of his jeans.

 

Giving me a faint smile, lightly he nods. "At least I still have you."

 

"No matter what happens we'll always have each other." Rubbing his earlobe between my fingers, I smile reassuringly.

 

Inhaling a deep breath, he unbuckles his seat belt. "Right...let's do this, Marko."

 

Even though Gary's merely putting on a brave face, I know that he's shitting himself. I've only met his parents that one time and even that ended in a disaster. Gary coming out as gay to them is going to be ten times worse, but no matter what happens, I'm going to support him one hundred percent.

 

Walking up the driveway side by side, Gary doesn't hesitate when ringing the doorbell. Not speaking a word, we stand there in silence. Within a minute or two a dark figure appears behind the frosted glass, which only causes my heart to race inside of my chest. Sweat instantly forms on my forehead and sickness builds inside of my stomach. Fuck, I feel dizzy...I feel like I'm going to pas-

 

"Gary? Oh, hello dear!" Wrapping her arms tightly around the back of her Son's neck, I feel invisible. Of course I wasn't expecting to be noticed, well, not straight away anyway, but I do feel incredibly awkward.

 

"Hi...Mum." Softly Gary rubs her back whilst returning the hug. As soon as they pull away, her beaming smile drastically drops when she lays her eyes on me.

 

"Oh...you brought _him_ too?" She almost scowls at the sight of me.

 

"He has a name...and yes, I have." Lightly he sighs, whilst running his tongue across his bottom lip. He can't even look at me and that's making me even more nervous. Is he having regrets already? He can't keep lying to his parents about who he really is and he can't keep denying it to himself. "...We...er...need to...speak to you. You... _and_ Dad."

 

Frowning down at me, making me feel even smaller, she nods her head and allows us both entry. Gary is first inside with me shortly following like a lost puppy. "Wipe your shoes." She mutters directly at me.

 

"S...Sorry..." Doing as she says, swiftly I brush the soles of my shoes against the rough door mat. When we woke up this morning, I actually thought Gary's Mum would be softer on the pair of us, but it seems she knows something is going on which she isn't going to like. Mum's know best an' all.

 

Continuing to follow Gary into the direction of the kitchen, still neither of us breathe a word to one another. Staring at door which is slightly ajar, he pushes it open with the palm of his hand, which causes the soft muttering of voices to come to an abrupt halt.

 

"Gary?" Deeply a voice speaks. Even though I can't see whilst I'm standing behind Gary, the voice alone still manages to cause the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. Why does Gary's Dad scare me so much? "What are-" The older man's speech comes to a sudden stop as soon as he catches a glimpse of me. "...What is _he_ doing here?"

 

Now standing side by side next to Gary in the kitchen doorway, I feel all eyes are on me once Gary's Mum appears in sight opposite us. Catching eye contact with Tyler at the far end of the kitchen table, sympathetically he smiles into my direction. "I...I think...I might go and watch TV." Hurriedly he leaves the room, allowing the four of us to continue with our conversation.

 

"Do you have to be so rude? His name is Mark, _not_ him." The blonde bitterly speaks at his Father.

 

Rolling his eyes, he folds his arms across his chest. "Well come on then, why are you 'ere? After some money?"

 

"No." Gary scoffs. "We came...well, we came here because, we have some news."

 

Frowning her face in the exact same way Gary does when there's something said he doesn't like, his Mum leans against the work surface and eyes up her Son. "...Are you in any kind of trouble, Gary?" Nervously she asks and instantly looks into my direction whilst turning pale.

 

"No, no, nothing like that. I'm fine, I mean...I'm more than fine, I'm...great...and happy." Faintly smiling whilst watching me out of the corner of his eye, it feels like my heart is about to leap out of my chest. There's no going back now. "The...well, the thing is...Mark...he and I are...erm...livin'... together."

 

Ok, that's a start. I can tell he's trying his best to avoid the whole relationship, but I can't talk for him, this is his family and if he truly loves me, he'll confess everything to them.

 

"He...he's what?!" Looking disgusted at his Son, anger already begins to show on his face. "I don't know why I'm surprised, I knew this was going to happen. I knew it wouldn't be too long before he wormed his way in! How much has he stolen from you?"

 

"E...excuse me?" Automatically I stutter out, feeling my legs turn to jelly.

 

"Is he threatening you, Gary? Oh please, tell us he hasn't hurt you." Flying from the work surface, his Mother grips tightly to Gary's bare arms and searches the visible flesh for any kind of markings.

 

Completely lost for words, I stare at the three of them with my mouth slightly ajar, totally baffled. "I...I can't believe what I'm hearing..." Never in a million years would I physically harm Gary, even from hearing those words makes me sick to my stomach. "I...I can't do this. I'm out of here." Feeling my bottom lip wobble and my voice crack whilst speaking, tears fill my eyes as I head down the hallway.

 

"Mark. Mark, no, please!" Brushing his Mother's grip off, he calls after me.

 

"Let him go! Let him go back to where he crawled out of." Loudly his Father laughs. That's it, I can't hold the tears back anymore.

 

Before I'm able to open the front door, Gary grabs hold of my wrist and pulls me back. Placing a hand onto my cheek, he brushes away the tears with his thumb whilst looking me deep in the eyes. I haven't witnessed this look before, I can't even explain it. It's almost like he's staring right into my soul, trying to read my mind with a blank expression. "We...we're...we're together." My heart almost stops when his words finally absorb into my mind. Nodding his head, he keeps his hands on me, whilst looking over his shoulder. "Me and Mark...we're together. We're...in love."

 

The tears stop and my body fills with fear. Gradually I force my eyes to look into the direction of his parents who are standing at the kitchen doorway, just inches away from where the pair of us are currently standing. If looks could kill, I would be dead and buried in seconds. His Mother places a shaky hand over her mouth and runs into the living room area, slamming the door behind her. Immediately my ears are filled with her cries, which makes me feel incredibly guilty.

 

"E...Excuse me?" Sharply the older man whispers, whilst eyeing up his Son. Taking a few steps closer, instantly my hands grip to Gary's arms.

 

"G...Gary...let's go. P...p...please..." Nervously I whisper, noticing that his Father is even closer to the pair of us.

 

"Running away? Yeah, that's all what you type can do, isn't it? Ruin families, brainwash our Son's and for what?!" Glaring at me, his nose almost presses against mine.

 

"Leave him alone." Gary growls, whilst poking his finger against the man's chest. "He hasn't ruined anything. You have, you and Mum have ruined this family with your disgusting homophobic behavior."

 

"The only disgusting thing about all this, is him. Nothing but scum...you wait until I get my hands on you!" Grabbing hold of my shirt, he shoves me against the front door, causing my back to loudly slam against it. Breathing faster, anger fills his eyes and my feet almost leave the floor. I've never been a fighter and I'll hold my hands up, I am weak when it comes to being picked on, I could never cope at school when being bullied. But this is actually worse right now.

 

"Get off him!" Gary yells. Taking hold of his Father's shoulders, he drags him off me. "You lay one finger on him and that's the last thing you'll do." Pressing my back as close to the front door as possible, I watch the two men who are up in one anothers faces. It's scary to see Gary acting like this, but I'm glad he's sticking up for me, this time.

 

Loudly the man barks out a laugh into his Son's face. "Bit late for that, aren't you? You never really defended him last time."

 

"Well stupid me at the time was hiding him from you, If I defended him then you would of worked it out that we weren't just friends. I regret that now."

 

Rolling his eyes, he smirks. "I'm talking about after that...when he was sleeping on the streets, again."

 

Turning to me, Gary's brows knit together as his face fills with confusion. What's he talking about? The only time I've been on the streets since knowing Gary was when I- Oh, shit. Gary's face reflects mine when it suddenly hits us both.

 

"T...that...that was you?!" Gary's eyes widen in horror and I begin to feel sick again.

 

"Well...not technically me. I was walking home and I saw him on a doorstep, so I might of ended up paying a couple of youths to knock him about a bit. Teach him a lesson, warn him off. Warn him off, you!" Smiling into my direction, he looks pleased with himself.

 

"Teach him a lesson?! I'll teach you a lesson!" Out of nowhere, Gary grabs hold of the older man's shirt and pushes him against the nearest wall. "How could you?! How could you hurt him like that?! He could...he could of been killed!"

 

"...Obviously I didn't pay them enough, then." He laughs into Gary's face.

 

Holding my mouth, I'm honestly speechless. Gary's Dad actually paid a couple of people off the street just to beat me up?! He's a monster.

 

Gary's face turns red with the amount of anger building up, swinging back his arm, instantly I shield my eyes. Loudly the sound of Gary's fist hitting something fills my ears followed by sharp cry of pain, but it isn't made by his father. Snapping open my eyes, I notice that Gary's fist ended up making contact with a photo frame which is fixed to the wall behind his father. Blood trickles down Gary's arm and glass sticks in his knuckles. "Ha! You can't even punch like a man!" Sniggering at the sight of his Son, he brushes out the creases in his shirt.

 

"Gary!" Rushing over to my boyfriend's side, I take hold of his wrist whilst examining his hand.

 

"Pathetic." The older man sneers. "Look at the pair of you. It's disgusting."

 

"What's your problem? I'm your Son, you should be happy that I'm happy." Gary winches.

 

"Happy? I should be happy about my Son being a...g... gay? Even saying the word makes me want to be sick. I hate it! I hate him and I hate you!" Loudly he yells at the pair of us and I feel Gary's arm start to shake as tears fill his eyes. "I...I can't look you in the eyes again." Walking into the direction of the kitchen, gently I take hold of Gary's other hand, silently telling him that it's time to go. "...I thought I was disappointed when you told me you wanted to have a career in music, but this...this is a whole new level of disappointment. I wish we never brought you into this world." Bitterly he speaks out his last words and it feels like a knife has just been stabbed into my heart. Seeing the sadness and shock in Gary's eyes, hurts me. A lot. "...I wish you were dead right now." And with that, loudly the kitchen door slams as his father disappears out of sight. The last sentence hits me like a slap in the face and I can't even describe how I'm feeling right now, never mind how Gary looks and feels.

 

Standing together, frozen in the hallway, the blood drips onto the laminate floor and manages to break my trance. "G...G...Gary? Gaz, we need...we need to get out of here. We need to get your hand checked out."

 

Looking slightly pale, he looks lost and broken. Wishing your child dead is possibly the worst thing a parent could ever say, it's almost impossible to some people to wish death upon their worst enemy, never mind their own flesh and blood. "...Erm...n...no...no hospitals. It's time to go home."

 

Removing my grip from his wrist, he heads towards the front door. "...But...Gaz...you might need stit-"

 

"We're leaving, Mark. _Now."_

 

Not speaking a word, I follow Gary out of the front door, without even looking back.

 

\----------------

 

Laying in bed with the TV almost on mute, softly I sigh to myself whilst thinking about how badly things went today. Gary decided to have an early night after removing the glass from his fist and bandaging it up, looking at the blood seeping through the white material, only makes me worry even more. I wish he went to the hospital, but obviously he wasn't in the right state of mind. I barely got a sentence out of him since leaving his parents, but I'm not surprised at all, the way he was treated today boils my blood. Hearing his father wish his Son dead breaks my heart, I can't picture my life without Gary, what a heartless bastard that man is. Feeling tears fill my eyes, shakily I breathe whilst my fingers brush against the blonde strands of hair at the back of his head.

 

Reaching for the remote, I switch off the TV before sinking down the mattress so that my head now rests on the pillows. Gary hasn't shown emotions since leaving his parents and the drive home was... well, let's just say you could of heard a pin being dropped. I hope that this doesn't affect Gary too badly, I know he will hurt for a while and I'll help him through the pain, I just hope he won't regret who he is. He doesn't deserve any of this.

 

Closing my eyes for a brief moment, in a matter of seconds they snap back open. Looking at the figure who currently has their back towards me, the sound of soft sniffling and shaking catches my attention. "...G...Gary?" Quietly I whisper, but I receive no response. "...Gaz? Gaz...come here...look at me...look at me..." Sitting up slightly against the pillows, I try to turn him onto his back. "...It's OK...it's OK to cry..."

 

"I...I...I...no...don't...I...to...to do..." Trying to catch his breath, he turns onto his back and shows his face which is full of tears. "I...I...don't...know...what...what...to do..." Heavily he sobs out.

 

"...Come here..." Pulling his figure into my arms, tightly I hold him against my chest whilst I dry his tears with my hands.

 

"H...he...he wishes me...he wishes me...de...dea...de-"

 

"Shhh...shhh..." Placing a kiss onto the center of his head, I hold my nose into the strands of his hair whilst I inhale his scent. "I love you, OK?...I love you...so...so much, Gary Barlow." Rocking him gently in my arms, he continues to cry against my chest. "...I'm here for you, I'm not going anywhere. We're in this together. OK?"

 

Without speaking a word, his hand tightly holds onto mine whilst he cries into the fabric of my shirt. Nodding lightly against my chest, I hold onto him tighter, refusing to ever let go of him. 


	21. Chapter 21

_**Mark's POV** _

 

_(One week later)_

 

It's been exactly one week today since Gary finally built up the courage to tell his parents about our relationship, which of course went even worse than what I had ever imagined. It took two days for Gary to barely speak a sentence since that day, but he knows deep down what was said by his parents, mainly by his father, was down to upset and wasn't possibly true. However, the past week hasn't been so bad, Gary got a call from Mr Weirdo, and he's been offered him an audition in London for next weekend, so it's the perfect opportunity to spend time together publicly and I also get to support him. I honestly can't wait for our little adventure.

 

"This...this is beautiful..." Happily I sigh whilst absorbing my surroundings. Sitting in the middle of the field, the exact field I use to come to when I was younger with my parents and the exact same field where me and Gary had our first _date_ , shame we didn't know that at the time. It's almost eleven o'clock and we're currently having a picnic under the stars. It was Gary's idea of making it up to me from the disaster once again with his parents, he really doesn't need to make it up to me, I know he wasn't to blame for any of it, but right now it's perfect and I couldn't be happier.

 

"Hardly dining at the Ritz though." Gary chuckles whilst popping a piece of chocolate into his mouth. "...I promise that London will be better. You're not too cold are you?"

 

"No, no, I'm fine." Moving closer to where Gary sits crossed legged, I rest the side of my head against his shoulder. "This is perfect, you know? Didn't realise you were such a romantic." The candles flicker in the darkness and the cool wind continues to blow my hair out of place.

 

Shrugging his shoulders, he coils an arm around my waist. "You haven't seen anythin' yet, butterfly. I've got better things planned for you...just hope I get to show you them one day, hopefully I get this career and then I-" Cutting himself off, swiftly he shakes his head. "...Sorry, I'm rambling on about myself again. Let's just say, the waiting around will be worth it."

 

"Oh, I know that saying too well." Nuzzling my nose against his jacket, cheekily I wink.

 

"Oh aye, why's that then?"

 

Reaching for a piece of chocolate, I hold it in front of his lips. "...I waited long enough to have you, didn't I? But...you were certainly worth the wait."

 

Widely he grins and takes the chocolate from my fingers using his teeth. "Sometimes I think this whole relationship is a dream, it feels too good to be true." Allowing me to lay down into his lap, his fingers run through my hair as I bite into a strawberry.

 

"Hmm..." I hum in reply. Ever since I first met Gary, I've been pinching myself. How the hell did I get so lucky?!

 

"Tell me your dreams, Marky."

 

Blinking up at him, I lick the fruit's sour juice from my lips. "Dreams?"

 

"Yeah...your dreams in life...what do you want? Marriage, kids, a private island, those kind of dreams."

 

Frowning my eyebrows for a minute or two, I lay and think. I haven't really though about what I want in life, ever since my parents and sister died, a lot of me died with them, mainly my happiness. "...I...er...never really thought about it, actually."

 

"...Do you want kids?"

 

"I...I...I don't know. When I became homeless, I kind of made a promise to myself, that I wouldn't ever put any of my kids through a life like what I had. I mean, if I met someone on the streets and fell in love, I wouldn't of brought kids into this world until I'm good enough to support them, I've never felt good enough to be a parent. I didn't want my future children to..." Heavily I sigh and my heart saddens. "... _Hate me_..."

 

Sadly Gary looks down at me and I try to avoid eye contact. I know exactly what he's going to say and I'm not going to believe him. "...Babe, look at me."

 

Gradually, I force my eyes to look back up at him. The wind continues to calmly blow and the stars twinkle above his head in the dark sky. It's a beautiful sight. "...I know what you're going to say...I'm sorry..." Softly I mumble.

 

"You will make a fantastic Dad. You have a heart of gold, seriously. Believe it or not, but you've made me a better man and you've certainly made me happier in life, happier than what Dawn ever made me. It just shows you don't need to know someone for years to find happiness. But...let me rephrase my question. Would you ever want to have kids...with _me?"_

 

I know that Gary has spoken about having kids before, but I never really thought he wanted them with me, but I guess I'm just being dumb, we're together, of course he means with me. "...I...I actually do have a dream..."

 

"Go on."

 

"Well..." Playing with my fingers, nervously I smile. "...One day, maybe in a few years...we might move out of Manchester, just the two of us. Buy a three bedroom house and then maybe buy a dog, I prefer the small ones, but not too small, you know?" I glance up at him, noticing that he's carefully listening to what I'm saying with love bulging in his eyes. "...Then, one day, we'll have a baby, sadly I can't give you one the natural way... but adoption or surrogate will be what we'll have to go through. I don't know why, but I can picture us having a daughter. Blonde hair like yours, chubby red cheeks and a huge grin constantly glowing. If we end up having one of each, I can see you taking him to footie matches whilst I stay at home reading fairy tales and playing dress up. Then, we'll go on family trips. Just the four of us and our dog, you'd be driving, the radio would be blasting and the windows would be down and the sun would be shining." Happily I sigh whilst I close my eyes, picturing our perfect family.

 

Gary's fingers stroke against my jacket and I notice he's still smiling down at me. "...That would be more than perfect, like a fairy tale. How many kids would you want to have?"

 

"Oh...er...I'm not sure, maybe two? What about you?"

 

"...Probably about ten." Gary laughs, but not in a joking kind of way.

 

"Ten?!" I exclaim as I swiftly sit up in Gary's lap.

 

Again he laughs. "Yeah. When I was asked about havin' kids before, I didn't want any, but...I suppose since meeting you, that changed my mind. I love kids, I don't think I'll be good when they're newborn, but when they start to know you and they're babbling away, I think I'll make a good Dad, but I can't wait for any of it...from birth to teenage tantrums. Although I have a feeling I'll be the grumpy, strict Dad whereas you'll be the cool, letting the kids get away with everything, Dad." Lightly he smirks. 

 

"I can actually imagine that." Softly I laugh at the image. "...You will make a good Dad, a brilliant Dad infact. And I know what you mean with newborns, being too scared to even hold them incase you break them." We both chuckle and Gary brushes his nose against mine. "...But you'll be on nappy duty first, you've got a brother, you'll have more experience."

 

Pushing me back slightly, I end up laying flat against the blanket and floor, whilst Gary crawls on top of me. "...Suppose it's worth it..." Lightly he smiles whilst brushing his lips against mine, but not allowing them to fully make contact. "...Have you thought about a name?" Quietly he whispers as he continues to tease his lips with mine.

 

"Hmm...Isabella? Isabella Barlow?"

 

"...Amber?"

 

"...Daniel..."

 

The blonde smiles against my lips. "I like Daniel." Kissing my neck softly, my eyes slowly close whilst I chew my bottom lip. "...Lucy?"

 

"Hmm..." Stroking my hands lightly up his spine, I tilt my head onto one side, breaking his contact away from my skin. "...I actually prefer the unique names, you know? Like...Summer, Harmony, Elwood, Monique, Casey, Fox-"

 

"Chair sounds like a good one too." Jokingly he adds. Raising my eyebrows, I can't help but smile at his suggestion. "...I'm joking, baby. I actually like a couple from there...but I can imagine us getting in a few arguments when it comes to deciding." Laughing against my neck, his lips vibrate against the sensitive area of my skin. Humming faintly in response, I feel him become hard against my thigh.

 

"...As long as you don't name them after food or a form of star wars character, we'll be fine." Cheekily I smile whilst I run my fingers down his face, stopping at his lips.

 

"No promises, babe." Pecking my finger tip, his tongue pokes through his slightly parted lips and presses against my flesh.

 

I can't help but smile everytime I look Gary in the eyes, as cheesy as it sounds, I could never get tired of looking at him. Feeling my heart swell inside of my chest and my pants tighten, I don't even need to think about what I'm about to say. "...I...I want you..."

 

Gary's eyes instantly lighten up by the words I've uttered and a lopsided grin appears onto his face. "...I thought you'd never say that..." Biting his bottom lip, he eyes me up one final time before pressing his lips against mine. Everytime I kiss Gary's lips, it feels like the first time all over again, the flutters and fireworks erupting in the pit of my stomach never fade. Pulling him closer, I feel him begin to wiggle out of his jeans, the pair of us completely ignore the fact that we're out in public in the middle of the night...not that either of us care at this _very_ moment.

 

Circling his tongue around the sensitive spot on my neck, his hands roam underneath my shirt and his finger tips brush around my navel. "...Sure you want to do this?" Warm breath breathes against my neck, sending me even more insane.

 

"...More than anythin'..." I pant out.

 

Half smiling down at me, skillfully he unzips my jeans with his free hand whilst the other teasingly rubs my growing bulge. "I forgot to bring anything..."

 

Closing my eyes as I feel my jeans being peeled down my legs, the cool breeze hits against my burning flesh. "...Make love to me, Gary." Calmly I demand as I place a single finger over his parted lips.

 

Making sure that I'm comfortable, he removes my jeans along with my briefs, allowing my growing cock to uncomfortably press against the bottom of his t shirt. Leaving his jeans and briefs on, they rest above his knees whilst he spits into the center of his palm a few times. "...If I hurt you, tell me to stop."

 

Nodding slowly, I feel his palm gently rub against my entrance, causing me to moan softly. Once prepared he positions himself carefully against me, before nudging the very tip of his cock inside. "Mmm..." Groaning lightly, I arch my back as I feel Gary begin to sink inside of me. It feels kinda rough without a condom or lube and there's a burning feeling which causes me to whimper a couple of times, but it's nothing to complain about. Once Gary's fully inside which took a lot longer than usual, I can't help but wrap my arm around the back of his neck, forcing him closer so that our lips meet once again.

 

Gradually he begins to move, forming a slow and steady pattern at first, whilst our tongues slide together and the mere friction of Gary's body rubs against my hardening dick. "F...fuck..." Sucking onto my tongue, the blonde increases the pace of his hips almost rapidly, causing him to shudder over the new overwhelming feeling.

 

"Ha...harder...plea...please." Scratching my nails down his covered back whilst my legs wrap tightly around his waist, allowing him to sink as deep as possible inside of me. Doing as I plead, the pace slows down as he begins to slowly slam himself in and out of me, drawing sharp cries from my parted lips.

 

"S...so...so good...and...so...wet..." Gary grumbles against my neck whilst his hand strokes against the lower half of my body, before forming a fist around my throbbing cock. Speeding up his thrusts once again, he moves his hand into the same speed.

 

"O...oh...oh my god..." Curling my toes, my legs begin to shake as I start to feel myself leak into Gary's palm. Rubbing my come against my own cock like lube, Gary smirks against my neck and softly bites the visible tensed vein.

 

"...Come. Come for me, Marky..."

 

Even though I've been dying to hear those words, I still try my best to hold back as long as possible, the moment is far too beautiful to get broken. But, within a couple of minutes, I let go. Shooting my load onto Gary's t shirt and his visible flesh, our bodies continue to slap together, gyrating against me almost as if I'm on fire and he's trying to put me out. I certainly feel like I'm on fire, slowly melting underneath him as my orgasm showers over me, causing me to loudly groan out his name over and over again.

 

It doesn't take long until Gary follows my lead. Coming deep inside of me, it's a feeling I can't describe, a _really good_ feeling. His cock swells as he fills me, before swiftly pulling out and finishing off on my stomach. "...Fuck...oh fuckin' hell." Panting against my neck, his face sinks into my collar bone as we lay together under the moonlit sky in a sweaty mess.

 

Pecking my lips weakly against the side of his face, my fingers claw against the sweat drench strands of his hair. "...I...I love you...I love you, so much..."

 

Lifting his head up leisurely, a half smile appears on his face. "I love you too..." He mouths before gently kissing my lips. Holding Gary tightly in my arms, the warm breeze cools down our burning bodies. Flicking open my eyelids, suddenly something catches my eye, something I never expected to see and something I never actually believed in before. A shooting star jets across the night sky and a flutter reappears back in my heart. I always thought these things were made up, especially in movies. A wide smile fills my face whilst Gary's eyes remain closed and deeply he breathes. I have everything I need in life right now, Gary mainly, but...my life isn't complete.

 

Closing my eyes, silently I make a wish. What a perfect way to finish off a beautiful night. 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

**_Mark's POV_ **

 

Standing at the doorway, I watch as Gary continues to fret around with his hair. Wearing a smart dark blue shirt and tightly fitted black jeans, it's impossible to keep my eyes off of him.

 

_How the hell did I get so lucky?!_

 

"I think we should cancel tonight...and stay _in_..." Walking into the bedroom I wrap my arms firmly around his body from behind.

 

"After going to all of this effort? I don't think so, lad!"

 

"You don't need to make effort, you always look incredible." Inhaling his shirt which is drenched in aftershave, I nuzzle my nose against his shoulder whilst holding him even tighter.

 

"You're too nice for your own good, Mark Owen." Running his hands down his covered chest, softly he sighs and holds my hands in his. "Do you think this blue is too much? I mean, does anyone actually wear blue anymore?"

 

"It looks fine, Gaz. More than fine infact." Removing one of my hands from his grip, it snakes around his back and I pinch his backside, causing him to flinch slightly. "...I love how good you look in jeans too..."

 

"Nah-uh. We need to get going." Gary raises his eyebrows as he takes hold of my wrists, whilst he spins around on the spot and kisses the tip of my nose. "Don't want to go creasing my shirt or messing up your hair, even if it is a quickie." Cheekily he winks.

 

Pouting and rolling my eyes, I agree. If we don't leave now, we never will.

 

\--------------------

 

"Mark! Ah, at last!" Howard greets me with a friendly handshake, followed by a bear hug.

 

"I wasn't that long this time, blame _him!"_

 

The older man chuckles and eyes up Gary who I proudly stand next to on the doorstep. "And you must be the famous, Gary? I've heard a lot about you." The pair exchange a handshake as Gary raises an eyebrow at me.

 

"All good stuff, I hope? Nice to meet you mate." Gleefully he speaks. 

 

"Oh yeah of course, I feel like I know more about you than you do about yourself." Again Howard laughs and steps aside to allow us entry inside of the house. "Rob arrived not long ago, he's just in the kitchen chatting to a few friends, go and help yourself to booze and snacks." Closing the door behind us, I take hold of Gary's hand as we make our way into the kitchen.

 

"Flipping 'eck, is that Gary Barlow? Christ, since when did he ever leave the house?" Suddenly a voice calls out as soon as we enter the kitchen. Within a few seconds the pair of us are being crushed to death by a hug from Robbie.

 

"Ha ha, very funny Rob." Sarcastically Gary laughs whilst returning the hug to his drunken friend.

 

"How does it feel being out of the closet then?!" His beaming smile makes me chuckle as his voice projects across the room.

 

"Drunk already Rob? That's a first." The blonde rolls his eyes and huffs.

 

"Hey Rob, how are you? I've missed you." Tightly I hug him whilst trying to hold him into place, so that he doesn't end up falling over his own feet. Swiftly Gary disappears in search of a drink for the pair of us, leaving me and Rob alone.

 

"Up and down, mate. How's you and _gay_ Barlow?" He sniggers.

 

"Nothin' dodgy, right?" I ask soundly incredibly concerned. Even though me and Rob aren't close friends, I still worry about him. _A lot_. "And don't go letting Gaz hear that nickname. You know what his moods are like."

 

"Since when do I do anythin' dodgy, Marky?" He flutters his eyelashes and takes another sip from his beer bottle. Eyeing up his face, sadly I sigh. Already I know there's a reason why he's drinking so hard again and judging by the redness of his eyes, alcohol isn't the only thing in his system. 

 

Before I'm able to give him a lecture, an arm wraps around my waist and a glass of white wine is pushed into my hand. "...Everythin' OK?" Pecking my cheek, Gary frowns and keeps a close eye on the male opposite us.

 

It still melts my heart knowing how comfortable Gary is to show that the pair of us are officially a couple and of course, how protective he is of me. 

 

"We were just catching up." I wish the pair of them could get along, I know their friendship was difficult at times in the past and recently, but it seems since I appeared in Gary's life, it's as if they've become enemies and the banter isn't always so light. "Everything is fine, babe." Stroking the bottom of Gary's back showing him comfort, widely I smile over at Rob who awkwardly stands and tries to keep his eyes open. "...I think was thinkin', it'd be nice if the three of us could go out for a drink once we're back from London? Either a few quiet drinks or maybe even clubbing?"

 

Gary looks at me for a couple of seconds then shrugs his shoulders and takes a gulp of his red wine. "Sure, sounds good to me."

 

Sitting on the edge of the sofa's arm, loudly Rob hiccups. "...L...London, aye? Didn't have you down as a big spender!"

 

"Actually...I have an interview and I thought it'd be nice if me and Mark could spend a weekend down there. We need a break away together anyway."

 

"Interview?" The younger male quizzes and even though he's over the limit with alcohol, he still looks interested.

 

"Tell him, Gaz." Tapping his arm, warmly I smile up at my lover. "I'm sure Rob would love to hear about how successful you're going to be very soon."

 

"You have too much faith in me, Marko."

 

Rolling my eyes, I take hold of his hand and I guide him onto the empty sofa beside Rob. "Have a word with him, Rob. Drill it into his head how incredible he really is, I always end up getting nowhere." Lightly I chuckle. "I'm nipping to the toilet, won't be long." Downing my glass of wine, I peck Gary's cheek before leaving the pair of them alone, finally chatting happily on the sofa.

 

\-------------------------

  
Washing my hands in the bathroom sink, loudly the toilet flushes whilst I eye myself up in the mirror. To say that I work in a hairdressers, my hair is looking shit lately. It's getting far too long, no matter what Gary says, I'm in desperate need of a haircut. Maybe Howard will give me one for mates rates?

 

Drying my hands on a nearby towel, I swiftly leave the bathroom in search of Howard, but before I'm able to cheekily ask the favour, I'm stopped in my tracks.

 

"...Hello." Sweetly a woman smiles as she walks out of one of the rooms. She's fairly tall with long black hair and a timid smile shows on her flushed face.

 

"...Oh...hello. You must be Howard's wife?"

 

Nodding her head, she runs the back of her hand across her forehead. "...That's me, I'm Katie by the way." Walking closer I go to shake her hand, until she pulls away sharply. "...Sorry...I'd shake your hand but I've been on a nappy duty." She giggles and frowns at the state she was left in just moments ago.

 

"Don't worry about it, thanks for the warning." Playfully I wink. "...I'm Mark, I work with Howard."

 

"Oh, so you're Mark!" Widely she grins and takes hold of my hands, now completely ignoring what she just told me seconds ago. "...Can you do me a massive favour?"

 

Nervously smiling, I feel myself being walked over towards the closed door of the room Katie just left. "...Erm...it depends what _exactly_ it is?"

 

"I really need to have a quick shower and a change of clothes thanks to madame in there." Eyeing up her shoulder, it shows that there's a white stain on her t shirt. "...Would you be able to keep an eye on her? She's awake so if she starts crying just pick her up."

 

Blinking my eyes, I'm almost lost for words. I'm all for helping people, but when it comes to kids, especially babies, it causes me to panic (well apart from Tyler, of course.) "B...but...I'm...I'm not any good wi-"

 

"Thank you, Mark. You're a life saver." Pecking my cheek, hurriedly she rushes into the bathroom. 

 

Chewing my bottom lip, lightly I sigh before heading into the bedroom. Instantly I'm greeted by brightly painted pink walls and soft music plays. Even though me and Gary have spoken about having kids in the future, it still doesn't make me feel calm being around Howard's daughter. Walking further into the room I peer over at the cot where a musical mobile continues to spin in a slow pace, causing the little girl to happily babble away and kick her legs. Her little red cheeks glow and her blue eyes light up in excitement. "...H...hello..." Calmly I speak whilst taking the seat beside the cot. "...Mummy's just getting changed...someone made a mess on her..." The little girl focuses her attention onto me and becomes even more excited. It seems she likes the attention...just like her Dad.

 

Within a matter of seconds she becomes restless and her happy babbles turn into distressed moans. "...Where's Gary when you need him?!" I whisper to myself, whilst looking around for something to stop her from getting too upset. "Ahh...milk? Do you want some milk, Lola?" Rhetorically I ask the young child. Never before have I held a baby, but I know that you have to keep the head lifted slightly whilst feeding them.

 

Nervously I walk closer towards the cot before tenderly lifting the small figure out of the miniature bed, she's heavier than what I thought. Shuffling back over towards my seat, loudly Lola begins to shriek. "Hey...hey...shhh...it's OK..." Laying her against my right arm and on my lap, her head rests against my bicep whilst my free hand holds the milk bottle in place against her lips. Chewing the end of the teat, it doesn't take long until the crying comes to an abrupt halt. Smiling to myself, a warm feeling grows inside of my heart and pride runs through my body. I wish I was given this chance with my sister, even though I feel happy right now, my heart still breaks slightly. It still kills me knowing I never got to meet her, I can easily picture her in my mind. Blonde hair, bright blue eyes, chubby cheeks and a little drama queen.

 

Faintly smiling down at the little bundle, her eyes begin to get heavier as she wraps her whole hand around my finger and continues to drink the milk. "...So...this is where you snuck off to..." Suddenly a voice speaks and a figure appears at the door. Feeling my heart jump over the intruder, I manage to hold my scream inside as a beaming smile fills my face.

 

"Hello..." Shyly I smile as Gary makes his way over towards me. Crouching down next to me on the floor, he tilts his head onto one side and admires the little girl in my arms. "...Katie was just taking a shower...this little one made a mess of her shirt."

 

Nodding his head, he continues to smile. "...She's adorable." Brushing her cheek with his finger, happily he sighs at the pair of us. "Like butter wouldn't melt."

 

Noticing that Lola has fallen asleep, gently I remove the teat from her lips. "...Like a little angel, minus the wings."

 

Gary smirks. "...I guess Howard will say different...bet she's a little daddy's girl though, got him wrapped right around her little finger. Will be like us one day."

 

Gradually our eyes meet and I feel my cheeks burn by his comment. My head still feels fuzzy over the fact that we could become parents one day, I still haven't had chance to collect my thoughts. "...We better get her settled back in bed."

 

"Did you burp her?"

 

"Did I, huh?"

 

The blonde shakes his head and faintly smiles. "Pass her 'ere, I'll show you." Doing as he says, very carefully I hand Lola over to where Gary's kneeing, both of us hold her like she's made of glass. "...Just rest her against your shoulder and very lightly pat the centre of her back. Milk is the worst when it comes to trapped wind, but it's better to get it out otherwise she'll be left screaming all night with tummy pains. It was awful trying to burp Tyler when he was full of colic, so we have it easy right now." Not a single word which Gary has spoken sinks into my head, I'm completely lost in my view. Gary would make such a perfect Dad, he just looks like a natural, it brings tears to my eyes just seeing him holding her right now. Seconds pass and Lola finally burps, making the pair of us chuckle at how loud she does it. Thankfully neither of us end up getting covered in sick like poor Katie did.

 

Delicately Gary places Lola back into her cot and pulls the pink fluffy blanket underneath her arms. "...You're a natural." Resting my cheek against his shoulder, the pair of us watch the child grumble in her sleep.

 

"So are you, babe. I stood at the doorway for at least five minutes before coming in. Such a beautiful thing to witness." Kissing my temple he wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me even closer to where he's standing. "One day we'll have a little family...and one day we will get our happy ending...I'm incredibly lucky to have you in my life, Mark Owen."

 

Unable to hold the tears back any longer, I wrap my arms around his waist whilst nuzzling my face against his chest, allowing his shirt to collect my tears. "...I can't wait."

 


	23. Chapter 23

_**Mark's POV** _

 

For a journey which should of taken about three hours somehow ended up taking just under six, thanks to Mr cheap-stake Barlow and his idea of traveling by coach. Though, I shouldn't complain, at least we're spending the weekend together.

 

"Jesus Christ, are you sure you've packed enough for the _three_ nights?" Gary asks as we finally make our way inside our hotel room. Dropping my suitcase on the floor, heavily he pants whilst bending over slightly to catch his breath.

 

"That's the _forth_ time you've complained about my packing." Rolling my eyes, instantly I flee towards the only window in our room to check out the view. "...You should be glad I packed lightly for this weekend."

 

Even though I'm not looking at him, I know that his eyes have widened over my words which hit him like a slap in the face. I know that man too well. "Blimey! Remind me to never take you away from the flat for more than a couple of days, otherwise you'll end up packing every soddin' thing."

 

Rolling my eyes, I smile to myself whilst I continue to gaze out of the window. I've never visited London before, but I've seen it a few times in magazines and it doesn't fail to disappoint. 

 

Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrap tightly around my figure from behind. Resting his chin against my shoulder, very softly he pecks my cheek. "...Surprised you got such a good deal on this hotel."

 

"Tell me about it." He hums. "Opposite the London Eye. Beauty, isn't it?"

 

"It looks like a photo, never in a million years did I think I'd be able to witness it right in front of me." Holding onto Gary's fingers, we continue to stare out of the window, absorbing our surroundings.

 

"We should go on it before we go home. Complete the London experience after exploring the landmarks."

 

Raising my eyebrows, I smirk. "You certainly are spending the cash lately, aren't you Mr Barlow?"

 

"Hey, if I want to treat my _supportive_ , gorgeous boyfriend from time to time, I think that I'm allowed to." Nuzzling his nose against the crook of my neck, lightly I laugh.

 

"How long have you got until your audition?"

 

Glancing down at his watch, he shrugs his shoulders. "Good few hours yet."

 

"Don't you need to rehearse? Maybe I could get a listen of the new song...?" Wiggling my eyebrows feeling hopeful, Gary shakes his head in reply.

 

"Nah uh, you'll have to wait. I might hop into the shower and freshen up, then I'll have a go on the keyboard, just to prepare myself."

 

Nodding my head, I feel his arms slip away from my body. "...I might start unpacking, I still have no clue what to wear tonight. I hope I've packed something good enough for the evenin'." Before I get chance to drop to my knees and demolish my suitcase, a hand takes a firm grip to my wrist.

 

"I've been sat on a coach for the past six hours whilst drowning in my own sweat. The only thing I want to do...is be with you...in that bloody shower."

 

Unable to hold back my grin, I chew my bottom lip whilst raising my eyebrow, already I notice Gary's jeans tighten.

 

"I'd make you get on your knees...and beg, but I don't think I'd be able to last that long." Taking hold of the v neck of his t shirt, I drag him towards the bathroom. "...Let's get those vocals warmed up, Mr B."

 

The pair of us walk into the bathroom, already my heart races inside of my chest as soon as Gary pushes me against the door and kisses me deeply.

  
\------------------

 

The hot water cleanses my naked body as soon as I step underneath the spray. Dropping my head backwards, I run my hands down my bare chest until I feel a pair of lips brush against my neck, causing a loud moan to escape my mouth. Within seconds, Gary's hands roam my body, starting from above my navel before travelling further south. "Been needing this..."

 

"Uh huh..." Grazing his teeth against my neck, he nibbles my earlobe. "...Tell me about it, babe. If the coach wasn't so busy, I would of taken you on the back seats."

 

Just by hearing those words and picturing that scenario in my head, causes me to harden even more. Hearing Gary's calm, but husky voice never fails to turn me on. Pushing me closer against the shower's wall, my stomach presses against the cold tiles, making me shiver slightly. "Oh...fuck...!" Groaning louder as soon as I feel Gary's hard cock stroke against my backside, my body begs for his touch.

 

"Moan for me, babe." Hoarsely he speaks. "Show me how much you want me to fuck you against this wall."

 

"Mmm..." Licking my lips, the water and steam fills my view. Moving my hand behind me, I grab hold of Gary's leg, forcing him to close the gap between our bodies. "...So bad...want you so bad." Rubbing my backside against his growing cock, he chews his bottom lip.

 

Without breathing another word, he spreads my cheeks with his hands and gently strokes the tip of his cock against my entrance. Dropping my face against my arm, my hands press against the wall in front of me, allowing my teeth to sink into my own flesh, as I try my best to hold it together. "If only I could cancel this audition and fuck you in every inch of this room, I would in a heartbeat." Licking the droplets from my shoulder, before I get to reply back to his comment, forcefully he slams inside of me.

 

"FUCK!" Loudly I call out. I should be use to the none foreplay by now, these past couple of weeks even more so due to the pair of us being rushed off our feet meaning the sex has to be quick, but still it always ends up being like the first time all over again. Slowly pushing himself deeper inside of me inch by inch, he stills his movements once he's deeply inside.

 

"Like that, baby? Like me bein' inside of you?" He whispers under the running water. I wish I could open my eyes and see how stunning and fuckable Gary looks in the shower, but I'm struggling to even keep myself standing.

 

The water is the only lubricant which causes the slight pain to decrease within a matter of seconds. "M...move...move, please." Desperately I groan, whilst pushing myself against his stomach.

 

Smirking against my shoulder, he does as I plead. Slowly but surely, he begins to thrust his hips against me, whilst keeping his hands firmly on my waist. "...I love it when you're so desperate for it."

 

Feeling my knees buckle, I drop my head backwards. Twisting the back of my head against Gary's collar bone, rapidly he increases his thrusts. "Oh, G...Gary..." Squeezing my eyes shut, swiftly I form a fist around my own dick.

 

"...That's it, wank yourself off. Good, lad." Biting my earlobe, he thrusts harder into me, slow but hard. "F...fuck...not gonna last long."

 

Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, fleetly I work my fist against my throbbing cock, feeling the precome leak into my fist. "...Come for me, Gaz. Need...need to feel you."

 

It only takes a further four more thrusts and Gary finally comes and sings my name at the top of his lungs. "Fuckin' hell, Mark!" Filling me with his load, he pulls out and squirts the rest onto my lower back. Within seconds the running water washes it away.

 

It doesn't take long until I follow his lead, releasing my load into the palm of my hand, I feel my legs give way as I pump out each and every last drop. "...Jesus, oh....fuck!" Falling against Gary's rapidly breathing chest, he holds me in his arms before I fall over my own feet.

 

Both of our bodies tremble under the now tepid water. Not speaking a word, the pair of us lightly smile at one another before deciding to wash each other bodies in the shower.

 

\---------------------

 

"You're going to be fine, I promise you." Taking Gary's hand as soon as he sits down at the table, widely I grin. "I know you can do this. Just do it like you did back at the hotel."

 

"I'm _not_ nervous." The blonde mumbles out his words whilst nervously smiling at me. He isn't fooling anyone. I've never seen Gary this nervous before, but I don't blame him. Even the most confident of people end up getting stage fright and I'm sure even Mr John does every now and again, it doesn't matter how professional you are, everyone gets nervous in their life. It just shows that you're human and Gary is the most human person that I know.

 

Sipping my wine, our fingers thread together whilst we continue to hold hands. "...How many songs are you doing this evening?"

 

"Erm...just two. One cover and one I wrote myself."

 

Nodding my head, I watch as he scans through the lyrics on his sheet. Not only is he singing tonight, but he's also going to be playing the piano. Of course this isn't an usual thing for him, after all he does do this as a job back at the bar, the only thing which is causing his nerves to rocket through the ceiling, is that the room is full of random strangers and two people who will be judging him through his set. "You'll do fine. If you get nervous, just picture me naked." Cheekily I wink.

 

Lightly the blonde chuckles. "I don't think it'd be acceptable getting a boner halfway through the songs, but thanks for that image, babe." Suddenly our gaze is interrupted. Mr Weirdo waves his hand into our direction, catching our attention and he mouths Gary's name. "...Shit, this is it." Stumbling out of his seat, he trips slightly.

 

"Erm...Gaz?"

 

"Uh, yeah?" Stopping in his tracks, he glances over his shoulder.

 

Sweetly I smile whilst eyeing up his lyrics and piano sheets laying on the table in front of me. "I'd forget me head if it wasn't screwed on." Rolling his eyes, he forces out a smile. "Love you." Swiftly he kisses my lips before hurrying back towards the stage again.

 

"Good luck!" I call after him. It's impossible to hold back my grins, feeling the butterflies flutter in the pit of my stomach, I feel incredibly proud of him. Watching him have a brief chat with the judges, he starts to prepare himself.

 

Sitting down at the keyboard, the room dims and the spotlight shines down on him. Taking hold of the microphone, he clears his throat a couple of times before speaking. "G...good afternoon, London. I'm called Gary Barlow and I will be singing a couple of songs this evening. One of these songs I have written myself, so I hope you will enjoy it. The song was written with a very special person in mind and both songs relate to that same person. The person who has supported me since day one of us meeting. The person who I love with all of my heart." Gary's eyes never leave mine whilst giving his speech. Instantly my cheeks swell and I feel myself become extremely hot and tears fill my eyes.

 

I am so in love with this man.

 

"This is the song I have been working on the past couple of months. It is called _Rule The World._ I hope you enjoy." Placing his pieces of paper onto the keyboard stand, he positions his microphone and begins to play the correct chords and melody. Very softly he begins to sing. "You light, the skies up above me. A star so bright, you blind me, yeah, yeah...don't close your eyes, don't fade away, don't fade away. Ooooh, yeah you and me we can ride on a star if you stay with me girl, we can rule the world. Yeah, you and me we can light up the sky, if you stay by my side, we can rule the world."

 

It's the first proper time I've heard Gary sing this song, sure I've heard parts of it whilst he's been working on it and a little more earlier at the hotel, but never before have I heard him sing it this way and never before have I seen him put so much heart and emotional into a song. Feeling the tears drip down my cheeks, even though we're inches apart from one another, it feels like it's just the two of us alone in the room. You wouldn't even be able to hear a pin drop right now.

 

As the song comes to an end, our eyes disconnect for a brief moment as everyone jumps to their feet to applaud Gary, who looks completely gobsmacked. Joining in with the crowd, the tears continue to run down my cheeks as I loudly clap and whistle when a very red faced Gary takes a bow.

 

"Wow, that was certainly an incredible song, Mr Barlow. And you wrote it all by yourself?" One of the judges takes hold of the microphone.

 

With shaky hands, Gary nods. "I owe it to my partner who gave me the inspiration." Looking over at me, swiftly I wipe away my tears before mouthing _'I love you'._ It feels like my heart is going to burst, any second now. 

 

\---------------------

 

The second song comes to an end and once again the audience are up on their feet clapping and cheering him, some even chant his name for a third song. It was another beautiful song and perfectly sung. It was a cover of Elton John's (of course) song called _Your Song_ , it's definitely my favourite Elton song by far, but this version is my new favourite. Not once did Gary take his eyes off of me again, it was like he was serenading me the entire time.

 

As soon as he takes his final bow and walks down the steps of the stage, I rush past the crowd and I throw my arms tightly around the back of Gary's neck, allowing my tears to soak into his shirt. Tightly he wraps his arms around my figure and nuzzles his face into my neck. "...I'm so...so proud of you." Weakly I sob.

 

"Babe, don't cry. Hey, look at me."

 

Blinking up at him, his smiling face almost makes my heart explode out of my chest. I'm so happy, so, _so_ happy. "You sung them so beautifully."

 

"Because I had the perfect supporter. My number _one_ fan." Kissing my lips a couple of times, he presses his forehead against mine.

 

A finger taps against Gary's shoulder, interrupting our little moment together under the spotlight. "Mr Barlow? Could we have a word? We promise, it'll be quick." Winking at me, the two judges smile equally as wide as the audience are.

 

It's obvious that they were just as impressed as we were with Gary's performances. Without even needing to hear the words, already I know Gary has received the job and he finally has the career he's been working hard his whole life for.

 

Standing alone near the stage, I watch as the two men talk to Gary in a corner of the room. Seconds later Gary punches the air and wraps his arms around both of the men.

 

Widely I smile once again. I knew it.

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

_**Mark's POV** _

 

Sitting at the breakfast table, I wash a piece of toast down with a few sips of my coffee whilst reading the newspaper. The weekend down London was incredible, but sadly it went by too fast and now we're back to reality. Today Gary is getting ready to hand his notice in after being offered a chance of a lifetime as a singer and song writer for Mr Weirdo and his gang.

 

"I was enjoying that shower far too much." Suddenly Gary comes sprinting into the kitchen and grabs a piece of toast from my plate.

 

"I know, I heard you singing. That's why I didn't bother switching on the radio."

 

The blonde's cheeks glow as he takes a bite out of his toast. "Sorry about that."

 

"Hey." Nudging him slightly in the ribs, I fold up my newspaper. "...I love hearing you sing, I'm your number one fan, remember?" I smirk, it still manages to give me tingles, Gary deserves this more than anyone.

 

"You certainly are, butterfly." Kissing my forehead, he strokes my messy bed hair. "Right, I've gotta shoot." Glancing at his watch, he grabs hold of his coat.

 

"Already? It's just gone eight."

 

"Yeah, but I need to hand my notice in before my shift, plus I need to deal with Nigel screaming at me for an hour because I've left him in the lurch." Rolling his eyes, he breathes out a laugh. "I won't be long anyway, maybe we could go for a coffee once I'm finished? I'll leave you some bus fare and I'll text you."

 

Standing up from my chair, I place my mug and empty plate into the sink. "I'd love to." Wrapping my arms tightly around his waist, I nuzzle my nose against his shirt. "Don't let Nigel stress you out too much, he's not worth it."

 

"I know, babe. I need to save me voice anyway." Winking down at me, we give one another a quick peck on the lips. "Love you."

 

"Love you too, see you soon."

 

With that, Gary's gone.

 

\------------------------

 

Washing away the suds from the plate, I give it a firm shake before placing it onto the drying rack. Drying my hands onto the teatowel, unexpeceditly there's a knock on the door. Looking up at the clock on the kitchen wall, I frown. It's barely been ten minutes since Gary left and it's very rare that anyone comes round to visit. "Back already?" I laugh as I make my way towards the front door. "Did you give Nigel the bollocking? Or...did you forget to do _somethin'?_ Good thing I'm still in me pants-" Opening the door, immediately I'm stopped in my tracks. My eyes widen and my throat becomes dry as I'm lost for words over the visitor.

 

"Mark."

 

Clearing my throat, I close my dressing robe, _tight._ "M...Mrs...Barlow. Gary, isn't here. He left a few minutes ago."

 

"I know, I waited until he left before I came up here."

 

Blinking my eyes, I work my mouth but no words manage to leave my tongue.

 

"Are you...not going to invite me in?"

 

"Er...erm...yeah, sorry." Stepping aside, I allow her entry. Glaring around the room, she frowns over our suitcases which have Gary's dirty clothes sprawled across them. "Sorry, we got home from London last night, we didn't have time to unpack."

 

"...London?"

 

"Y...yeah, Gaz had an audition and we decided to spend the weekend there." Smiling at the elderly lady, she continues to look at me with a blank expression.

 

"He's still careless with money I see." Removing her coat, she places it on the back of the sofa. "Are you going to put the kettle on?"

 

"Sure, let me just get changed and I'll be right with you." Hurrying into the bedroom, swiftly I close the door behind me. Deeply I sigh and silently whisper under my breath. "Come on, Gaz."

 

\----------------------

  
"He got the job, by the way." Nursing my cup of coffee at the kitchen table, Gary's Mum looks at me slightly confused. "...Gary. He impressed everyone at the audition and got offered a career as a singer song writer, I'm really proud of him."

 

Narrowing her eyes back down towards her steaming mug, she furrows her brow. "You're not any good at making teas, are you?"

 

"Y...You haven't even tried it yet?" I point out. It's obvious that she's trying anything that she can to make faults in me.

 

"Don't need to." She shrugs before placing it back onto the table. "I really wish you would stop filling my Son's head with his silly fantasies. He's only going to end up getting hurt if you keep egging him on."

 

Frowning my face, I shake my head. "Mrs Barlow, they are not silly fantasies and I'm not egging him on, I'm supporting him. That's all what he needs and I will stand by his side no matter what. As his Mother, you should understand that?"

 

"I know what's best for him and that ridiculous dream of becoming a singer isn't what he needs and he doesn't need you either."

 

Closing my eyes, I was expecting something like to be said, but it still hurts to hear. "I know you don't like me, hate me infact, but that doesn't stop me from loving your Son. And he loves me too."

 

She barks out a laugh. "Loving the same sex isn't normal and it certainly isn't love. The pair of you need to grow up and stop living on fantasies, it's all going to end horribly wrong."

 

Placing my hand against my forehead, deeply I sigh. There's no need to even get angry, I've heard it all before. It's like arguing with a brick wall, no matter what I say or do, it's pointless. "What Gary decides to do with his life and who he decides to live his life with, no matter what his choices are, as parents you should stand by him."

 

"And would your parents?"

 

"I'm sure they would of, they encouraged me to go after my dreams. As long as I'm happy they would be too. I know if I ever become a Dad, I would be proud of my children no matter how they choose to live their lives and I will be there to guide them if they need me to."

 

Shaking her head, she rolls her eyes. "Being gay is dangerous. I don't want Gary with someone like you, you can't even stand on your own two feet or have a roof of your own over your head."

 

"That doesn't make me a bad person? If you just get to know me I'm sure your opinion would change-"

 

"Oh please, I have no time whatsoever for you."

 

"So what are you doing 'ere? Why did you come to see me instead of Gary?" Raising my eyebrows, I give her my full attention.

 

"To try and talk some sense into you. Gary doesn't love you, he loves Dawn. You never lose love for your first love. You can't give him a family, _she can_ and that's exactly what he wants. She's beautiful, smart, loving and a very kind hearted woman."

 

Deeply I sigh, as I feel my head start to pound. I really don't want to hear about Gary's exes, especially not about the woman he almost started a family with. This isn't fair. "Gary is gay. Maybe you're right, maybe you don't lost love for your first love, but I know it's faded. Sure, maybe he does still love her, but not in the way he loves me. He's told me that and of course i believe him."

 

Again, she laughs in my face. "You're really naive aren't you, Mark? Do you really think me or Gary's Dad can believe Gary's safe with you? Look at you, you can't even look after yourself. And like I said, being gay comes with a lot of danger." Eyeing up my scars, quickly I hide them with my shirts collar.

 

"I would never put Gary into any kind of danger. I'd never dream of hurtin' him, _ever."_

 

"Then let him go." The words are almost spoken in a whisper, but hit me like a slap in the face. "If you truly love him, you'll let him go. Maybe he'll be upset, but he'll get over it. You're stopping him from living his life and I can't sit around pretending to be happy for him when I simply don't agree with his decisions. I want what's best for him and it's certainly not you."

 

Feeling my throat tighten, dryly I swallow. I know that I'm not good enough for Gary, even I see that, but it doesn't make it hurt any less knowing others can see that too. Maybe she's right, maybe I am stopping Gary from living his life. He wants a family and I can't naturally give him that, I can't be his wife and I can't be the mother of his children. His life seemed pretty alright to me before I came onto the scene, he's even losing his parents because of me.

 

"Mark?" A voice calls as the front door slams shut. "Babe? Are you in 'ere? I've been texting-" Stopping in his tracks, Gary lays eyes on his Mother who sits opposite me. "Mum? What are you doing here?" He asks smiling whilst sounding confused.

 

"It's nice to see you too, Gary." Happily she speaks and stands to hug him. Feeling completely deflated and hurt, I watch as the pair of them hug in front of me.

 

"Have you been here long? You should of called, I was just dropping my notice in at work then was waiting for Mark at the coffee shop, but he never turned up and I got worried."

 

"Sorry Gaz I-"

 

"...We were just talking." She interrupts and forces out a smile directed at me.

 

"Oh?" Gary averts his eyes towards me and picks up on my sadness. "Is everythin' OK?"

 

"Of course it is, dear. I've gotta shoot off, but I'll be back to visit you soon. Your Dad is still upset over everything which happened. You two should sort it out, _alone."_

 

Taking his eyes off of me for a brief moment, swiftly I stand up to pour the cold coffee from my mug. "Erm...maybe. I'm a little busy with my new job, I'm sure Mark's filled you in?"

 

"Hmm...we've spoken about your little fantasies, I thought you would of grown up by now, but we will talk about all of that soon." Pecking Gary's cheek, he walks her towards the front door, leaving me alone.

 

Resting my hands against the sink, I bow my head whilst I deeply exhale.

 

"Babe?" A hand touches my back, causing my to flinch. "It's me, it's just me. Mum's gone."

 

Nodding my head, I wipe my eyes. "Right."

 

"She wasn't too hard on you, was she?"

 

Shrugging my shoulders, I shake off his grip from my arm. "Nothing I haven't heard before." Walking out of the kitchen I head towards the front door.

 

"Where are you going? I thought we were spending the day together? I was worried about you not replying to any of my texts."

 

"I need to go out and have some fresh air. Clear my head for a bit. I'm sorry, I was busy."

 

Noticing my abrupt mood change, he knows that I'm upset, I'm rubbish at hiding my emotions around Gary. "Babe, sit down. Let's talk about this?"

 

"Why? What's the point? I'm not good enough for you Gary and that kills me. We had such a good weekend together, maybe it was a sign. All good things do come to an end and I can't bare the thought of losing you. I just need some time to think."

 

"Mark? No please, come on. You know what my parents are like. Please, it's just me and you, it's going to be like that for the rest of our lives and I couldn't be happier." Taking hold of my hand, his eyes fill with tears. Staring him deep in the eyes, I shake my head.

 

"It's not enough for you, you deserve more...and I can't give you more. I'm sorry. Please, let me just clear my head, I'll be home later." Pulling my hand out of his grip, I promptly leave the room and head down the stairs.

 

\--------------------

 

_**I'm sorry. I love you. Please come home. Xxxxx** _

 

"Another text from Gaz?" The older male asks whilst he sympathetically smiles at me. Thankfully Howard was working today and thankfully he had no costumers in either, today is just stock taking day and once again the new delivery man is late.

 

"Yeah..."

 

"You really need to talk to him, mate. Gary isn't the one who needs to punished through this. Like you said, he's nothing like his parents."

 

Rubbing my hand against my tired feeling face, softly I sigh. "I know, I just don't want to hurt him. He deserves better, he deserves Miss _Perfect_ Dawn."

 

"I'm sure if he wanted Dawn, he would of said something by now. You do know that sex and love between two guys is kinda different between a man and a woman, right? First of all, you both have dicks." He laughs and pats my leg, reassuring me.

 

"I know, I know." Lightly I smile whilst I breathe out a sigh. "I just want to live my life with him and I don't want to argue with him because of other people, it's not fair and it's not going to make us last and that's exactly what they want."

 

"You will live happily ever after together, as soon as you stop letting these problems get in the way. Gary's parents don't like you simply because you and Gary are in a relationship which of course they don't support. They say they want the best for him, yet they're being complete twats over this. They're being childish at the end of the day."

 

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

 

"Just tell Gary how you feel, if he doesn't already know it, but I'm sure he will. Don't argue with one another, just rise above it. Remember when he stuck up for you over his own Dad? That must of took a lot of guts, the fact he was going to hit the person who brought him into this world, says a lot."

 

Nodding my head, he's right. Of course Gary isn't to blame, I'm just using him as an excuse to hit out at because they're his parents at the end of the day. "I need to go and talk to him, explain how I feel and that he's not to blame for any of this."

 

"Good. I'll go and put the kettle on again, then you can slip off." With that, Howard disappears into the back carrying the empty plate of biscuits and the two mugs.

 

Feeling more relaxed, I lay my head back on the red leather chair. I feel a lot better after rambling on to Howard for the past couple of hours. I knew that fresh air would make me see sense. The sound of the front door opening and the bell ringing causes me to swiftly sit up. "Sorry we're-" Noticing the uniform, I raise an eyebrow. "...Oh."

 

"Yeah, sorry I'm late." The dark haired male grins into my direction. His infectious smile only causes me to smile back at him. His stubble is scattered perfectly around his jaw and he has a strong London accent. There's just something about him which I just can't put my finger on.

 

"No worries, Howard's in the back. I work here."

 

"Ah, I see. By the way, I'm Ryan." Outstretching his arm into my direction, I don't hesitate when taking it. His hand is warm but not sweaty and our hands fit together like a jigsaw piece.

 

"I...I'm Mark." Grinning from ear to ear like an idiot, softly he nods his head.

 

"Nice to meet you, Mark."

 

Our gaze is soon interrupted by Howard's booming voice. "Where the fuck have you been?!"

 

"I...erm...sorry mate, you know what the service is like."

 

"This is the second time in a week where you've been late. I'm reporting you to your manager and I bloody hope you get the sack!"

 

"Oh, come on, How. He said he's sorry. At least he's here now, that's the main thing."

 

"I'm not falling for his apologies again, Mark. I'm not a push over." Howard folds his arms and stands his ground.

 

"It won't happen again, I _promise_ you."

 

Looking up at Ryan, faintly I smile. "Third time lucky, right?" Breathing out a laugh, he nods.

 

"Yeah, what Mark said."

 

Rolling his eyes, loudly Howard huffs. "Alright, one more chance then you're gone, got it?"

 

"Loud and clear, mate. Loud and clear." Cheekily he says. 

 

"And if you think I'm helping you carry the stock in. You can think again!" Storming into the back of the room, I can't help but laugh over Howard's little moment.

 

"Cheers, mate. I owe you one."

 

"Ah, don't worry about it. He's a pushover really. He's put up with me, hasn't he?"

 

Widely he smiles and places his hand onto my shoulder. "Seriously, you're a life saver." Giving my shoulder a light squeeze, he winks at me.

 

It's the first time I've seen the guy and I can honestly say, I hope it won't be the last either.

 

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Gary's POV**

 

_(Many months later...)_

 

"Oh fuck!" Loudly I groan whilst my hands cling tightly around Mark's small waist.

 

"D...Don't...stop...almost there..." Pressing his face against the top of the piano, his naked body continues to make prints on the shiny black surface. Fucking Mark against my brand new piano wasn't on the list of things to do this morning, but I _knew_ it'd happen sooner or later.

 

Thrusting deeper and faster inside of the male, he continues to jerk himself off in time with my moving hips, until it's impossible to hold back any longer. "...F...fuck, Mark...I'm-"

 

A couple more strokes and he calls out my name at the top of his lungs. "Ah, fuck! Gary!" He whimpers as he releases his load into his fist. It doesn't take long until I follow his lead, releasing deep inside of him, until I pull out and squirt the rest onto his spine and lower back.

 

"Fuckin' hell. That was good. _So_ bloody good. " I shiver, feeling myself tremble from my orgasm. Pulling my trousers and underwear up swiftly seconds later, I glance out the corner of my eye at Mark who continues to bend over the piano, heavily panting and muttering random words under his breath. "Think you need a shower, babe. I made a bit of a mess." I smirk.

 

Sleepily he lifts his head and smiles. "Only if you come with me."

 

"I wish I could, Marko, but I have work to do."

 

Softly he sighs. "What if you finish it now then you can come out with me and Ryan?" He asks with hope in his eyes, which just makes me feel even guiltier.

 

"I can't. I'm sorry. Even if I could go out, I'd be far too knackered. Besides, I came out last week with you and Ryan, I'm not really into clubbin' as much as I use to.  What about  asking Rob?"

 

Shrugging his shoulders, his mood changes once again and it saddens me. I know that me and Mark have hardly spent as much time together as we use to do, once upon a time we were joined at the hip, but now, we have to take any chance we get when it comes to spending time together, even if that means fucking him against my expensive piano. 

 

"He's busy." Sliding off from the piano, he reaches for his clothes. "I better go and have a shower."

 

"Hey." Taking his arm before he leaves, sadly he looks at me. "I'll make it up to you, _I promise._ "

 

Forcing out a smile, he nods his head and doesn't speak a word. Disappearing into the bathroom, he locks the door behind him. It does hurt seeing Mark being upset because of me, but at the end of the day it isn't really my fault. I need this career to support the pair of us and it'll pay off sooner or later, I just wish Mark could understand that. At least we got to spend our first Christmas together a few months back and New Year, also not forgetting our Birthday's last month. A lot has happened and already it's a brand new year, that's why I want to get stuck into my work so we can finally go on with our lives.

 

At least he's going out with a friend tonight, who is a _good_ friend. I know that he's friend's with Robbie, but I much prefer Mark spending time with Ryan, that way I know he's not going to be in any kind of danger, seeing as Ryan has his head screwed on unlike Rob. I've only met him a couple of times and he comes across as decent, so I have no problem with the pair of them going out together clubbing every so often. At least it keeps him happy instead of moping around the flat and it keeps my mind at ease.

  
\-----------------------

  
**Mark's POV**

 

"Oi!" A finger pokes against my ribs and snaps me out of my daze.

 

"Eh? What?" I frown, the music loudly blasts in my ears now I'm back to reality.

 

Ryan rolls his eyes and downs the remaining liquid from his glass. "You look like a kid who's had a smacked arse. I thought you came out for a bit of fun? Not sulk over Gaz."

 

Deeply I sigh whilst reaching for my shot glass. "I know, I know. I'm sorry, mate." Downing the neat vodka, I screw up my face over the taste. "Fuck." I hiss.

 

Shifting from his seat, he sits beside me on the sofa and laughs over my reaction. "Gary did mention that you're a bit of a light weight." He shouts over the music, which for some reason has drastically increased in volume.

 

"Oh, yeah?" I clear my throat with a cough from the vodka shot. Gary can't talk, he only has to smell beer and he's on his back. "...When did he say that?"

 

"At your birthday party." A lopsided grin forms on his face as he moves ever closer to where I'm sitting. "...He told me a lot about you, actually." Staring me deep in the eyes, our faces are barely inches apart, which makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

 _Very_ , uncomfortable.

 

"I see...my...my boyfriend has a very big mouth."

 

Raising his eyebrows over my innocent comment, my cheeks furiously burn when I notice the sexual sexual innuendo. Before I'm able to correct myself, he interrupts me. "...Fancy a dance, Mark?"

 

"I...I'm not much of a dancer. I prefer drinkin'." Eyeing up the bar, I wiggle further down the sofa, creating a gap between the pair of us. Even though I've only known Ryan a couple of months, I know he can be _very_ flirty, especially around me or when he's had a drink, thankfully Gary hasn't seen anything which is worth questioning, so he still allows the pair of us to meet up every now and again. I don't want to sound vain, but I think he has a crush on me, but he knows that I love Gary to pieces and he respects our relationship. Either that, or he's overly friendly, but tonight his behavior is rather odd.

 

"Oh come on, I hear you're good with your moves." He winks and takes a firm grip to my wrist. Dragging me over towards the crowded dance floor, I don't have a say in the matter. My head continues to spin as the alcohol starts to settle in and the music doesn't help when I try to keep my balance. "Come on, Mark!" Ryan shouts over the music whilst widely grinning at me. He's been nursing one beer all night, it was pretty pointless even coming out. Then again, at least it gets me from under Gary's feet.

 

Within a matter of minutes, I finally give in and my moves start to come out. _Sigma_ loudly blasts in the background whilst me and Ryan bump and grind against one another as we madly dance together. Suddenly I feel someone slap my ass which causes me to almost jump out of my skin. Turning around, I feel myself trip and land against Ryan's chest.

 

"Hey!" Ryan angrily shouts at a group of boys who look slightly older than the pair of us. A chubby dark haired boy laughs and puckers his lips up into my direction. "Leave him alone, he's with _me."_

 

"You?!" The group laugh whilst eyeing up Ryan who I continue to cling tightly to, still unable to get my balance after tripping.

 

"Yeah, you got a problem with that? We can sort that outside."

 

The words don't even register in my head, the strobe lighting his completely fucked up my head now.

 

I feel sick.

 

"Ugh...I think I better go home." Watching the group of lads disappear into the crowd and ignore Ryan's invitation for a bust up outside, my head violently spins from the alcohol.

 

"Already?!"

 

"I knew shots were a...b...bad...idea..." Even though I've only had two beers and three shots within the hour, if I have anymore I'll end up singing Whitney Houston for the next two hours and I'd rather not be too hungover tomorrow morning.

 

"I'll call you a taxi."

 

"No, no." Lifting my hand, I take a step back and I give his chest a pat. "You stay, I just need to sit down outside and get some air. I need some peace and quiet."

 

Shrugging his shoulders, lightly he smiles. "Alright, mate. Give us a call when you're home safe, OK?" Pulling me into a hug, I feel my bones almost crack from the force of the hug.

 

"Uh huh...sure thing." Returning the hug, we part within a matter of seconds, allowing me to stumble outside in search of a wall or bench to lie down on.

 

\-------------------------

 

Thirty minutes have past since I left the club and large numbers of people start to leave. Forcing myself to sit up on the wall, I shiver from the cold air which continues to blow my sweat drenched hair out of place. I knew I should of listened to Gary when he told me to take a coat out with me, but I guess his stubbornness has started to rub off on me.

 

Still feeling slightly tipsy, the sound of faint buzzing continues to ring inside of my ears. Searching inside my back pocket for my mobile to call for a taxi, a huge black car appears in sight and stops my movements. "Fancy a lift?" Cheerfully a voice questions. 

 

Gradually my head lifts and my eyes focus onto the grinning face inches away. It's Ryan and somehow, it doesn't even manage to shock me. "N...no thanks, Ry. Just about to call for a cab, Gaz will be waiting up so I don't want to be too late."

 

"Don't be daft, I'll drop you off."

 

"But..." Blinking my eyes, I try to stop my head from spinning. "...You've had a few drinks, are you even allowed?"

 

"I'm under the limit, I'm no where near as pissed as what you are, come on."

 

Scratching the back of my head, the brightness of my phone screen burns my eyes. "...But-"

 

"For fuck sake, Mark! Just get the hell in the car, will you?!" Loudly he shouts and my body freezes from shock. The anger instantly grows on his face and his brows furrow. A few people around look into our direction, so I decide to obey his demand, it's better than causing a scene.

 

Not speaking a word, I stumble over towards the passenger's side of the car, before climbing inside. "Have you got your seat belt on?" Calmly he speaks now and faintly smiles into my direction.

 

"Erm..." Fiddling with the belt, I struggle at trying to fasten it whilst feeling light headed still. "I...one sec-"

 

"Come m'ere. I'll do it." Reaching over, he takes hold of the belt, slightly his fingers brush against my thigh and he rests his palm against my crotch, which causes a cold shiver to run down my spine. "...There you go..." Again, his fingers stroke against my thigh.

 

This alcohol is having a bad affect on me, am I imagining this? Maybe I've been spiked...? Blinking my eyes, I swallow a couple of times to clear my dry feeling throat. I really don't think it's a good idea to see Ryan again after tonight, I don't want to lead him on and I certainly don't want Gary knowing about the way he's been acting towards me recently. 

 

Suddenly the car vibrates as the engine is switched on and pulls me away from my thoughts. "Do...do you know the way?"

 

Not speaking a word, he pulls out of the car park and begins the journey. The radio isn't on and there's no talking between the two of us, so it feels a little awkward, even more awkward than his wondering hands in the club. Staring out of the window, I feel tiredness begin to creep back into my body, replacing the tipsy feeling, but I refuse to give in. It's only a short journey, so I'd rather stay awake until I'm in bed.

 

"How's thing with you and Gary?" Suddenly a voice speaks and slightly makes me jump.

 

"Erh...things...things are good. More than good actually, especially since he came out to his family."

 

"Oh...so it's serious then?"

 

Happily I nod my head. "Yes."

 

"Bit of an odd pairing though, don't you think?" Still avoiding eye contact with me, he keeps his eyes on the road. Furrowing my eyebrows over his questions, I try to shrug it off thinking it's just his way to stop the awkward silence by making conversation. 

 

"W...what do you mean by that? I think we're well suited for one another." Trying to focus my eyes onto the figure, I feel myself sink back to reality and away from the beer goggles.

 

Shrugging his shoulders, he smirks by my answer. "...I find him kind of borin'. You like partying an' that, he prefers to be sat behind a keyboard in an old folks home."

 

I really don't like this strange attitude and I really don't like how he's speaking about Gary. I thought he liked him? I guess it's probably the drink which has got to him, that makes me feel even more uncomfortable about being in the car with him. "...He doesn't sing at the bar anymore... he has a new job now, he's really good at what he does. He's starting off his career and I'm proud of him."

 

Ryan laughs to himself and rolls his eyes. "...Just don't let someone like him hold you back in life. You could do better. A lot better."

 

My throat tightens and I feel my fist clench in my lap. If he doesn't stop bad mouthing Gary, he's going to regret it. I'll always defend Gary over friends and family. Who does he think he is?! "I...I think I'll walk from 'ere." I find myself blurt out.

 

"Oh come on, Mark. Don't get your knickers in a twist, I was only messing with you. You've had a right face on you all night because of him and it's pissed me off, that's all. We've barely been out a couple of hours."

 

"I don't care. You've been acting weird towards me all night and I don't like how you're talking about my boyfriend, so please, just let me get out and I'll walk home." Ignoring what I say, he continues to drive, which only angers me even more. "Ryan! Stop the car. _Now!"_ Loudly I shout which causes him to flinch.

 

Minutes later, he obeys my demand. Pulling down a road, the car comes to a halt in what it looks like a large wood.

 

Wait, we're in a _wood?!_

 

"...You really need to know how to take a joke, Marky."

 

"Where are we? I don't remember seeing this place before?" Looking through the darkness out of my window, I see nothing but trees. Before I'm able to open the door to have a search around, the lock shoots down. Trying the door handle, it's no good. "...W...Why's the door locked?!" Frowning over my shoulder, I continue to yank at the handle.

 

"Ay, ay, easy." Suddenly a hand squeezes my inner thigh, causing all the hairs to stand up on the back of my neck. "...Calm down, we don't want you hurtin' yourself, now do we?" A hot breath breathes against my neck, whispering calmly against my ear. I don't like this.

 

"...Ryan...please...just open the door. I want to go home." Fear fills my body, instantly.

 

"Why? Gary will be asleep...what's the fun in sleeping? I can show you how to have a good time. You've been complaining about Gary hardly giving you attention lately. I told you, you can do better. " Moving his hand further up my thigh, he squeezes my crotch which causes me to yelp.

 

"Don't touch me!" Sliding up in my seat, I try to avoid his touch, but it's no use. Taking my wrists in his hands, he takes a tight grip to them and forces me back into my seat.

 

"Stop movin'!" He growls and digs his fingernails into my flesh.

 

"P...please...please, you're hurting me." I whimper, feeling the tears burn in my eyes. Was this his plan all along? To take me to the woods so that no one can hear me? I feel sick. I'm terrified.

 

"Stop moving and I won't hurt you."

 

Wriggling out of his grip, I push him against his chest, forcing him away from me, but that only lands me into even more trouble. Before I get chance to break free, he swings a fist back and punches me against my stomach. "Ah!" I cry out at the sudden pain. Repeating his action another three times, I almost throw up from the pain.

 

"Now stop it!" Grabbing hold of my face, he forces me to look at him. Tears roll down my cheeks and my arms wrap around my stomach. Laughing in my face, he removes one of his hands away from my face and places it onto the belt of his trousers. "...We're going to finish off this night...on a high." Skillfully, he unbuckles his belt single handed and unzips his trousers.

 

Who the hell is this man?! He certainly isn't the friend I thought he was. How long has he wanted to do this to me? It's almost like he's done it before. 

 

"N...no...no...no please." My bottom lip wobbles as I beg. "I...I thought you were different. I thought you were a friend!" Unexpectedly, his lips latch to the side of my neck and his tongue traces the tensed vein, before he sinks his teeth into my neck. "Stop! Stop it please!"

 

Grabbing hold of my hip, his knee presses into my lap as he pins me to my seat. "Going to make you feel...so...so good..."

 

Crying louder, I try tofight him off, but it's no good. He's much stronger than me, I haven't got a chance against him. Feeling his tongue make contact with my scars sickens me, no one has ever touched my scars other than Gary. Feeling my head pound and spin as his hands begin to roam my body, as soon as I hear the zip on my trousers being forced open, something snaps inside of my body, mainly because of the fear. Hitting my knee against his privates, he slaps his hand against the side of my face as hard as he can. "Ouch!" I cry out.

 

"You...you bastard...ah!" Cupping himself, he falls against the passenger side of the window. Finally, I'm no longer being pinned down.

 

Feeling my cheek start to throb, panic rushes through me. As quickly as possible, I unclip my seat belt and I rush over to the driver's side of the car. Ryan continues to whine over the pain I've caused, making the escape easier. Lifting the lock, I tug onto the metal handle. Cold air instantly hits me in the face as the door finally opens.

 

"No! N...no! Don't you dare! Mark!" He shrieks as I fall out of the door, landing into a pile of leaves and twigs. Seeing Ryan move in the car behind me, swiftly I stumble to my feet. "Mark! Mark! Get here now!" Yelling at the top of his lungs, I start running, running as fast as my legs can carry me.

 

Tears blur my vision, but there isn't time to stop. Running straight ahead and through the trees, suddenly I fall in the darkness and the feel of freezing cold water slaps me in the face. Landing face first into what it feels like is a bog, I don't get chance to get back to my feet. The sound of someone running nearby, causes me to freeze to the spot. "Please. Please don't find me. Please don't find me." I silently repeat in my head as my hand covers my mouth, silencing my cries. "...I...I'm sorry...so sorry, Gary..."

 


	26. Chapter 26

_**Mark's POV** _

 

After what feels like a lifetime, I finally make it home. The birds chirp outside and the sky begins to get lighter as each minute passes, but still my vision remains blurred from the tears and my head is foggy. Standing outside the flat door, shakily I inhale a deep breath before unlocking it and stepping inside. Immediately I'm greeted by complete darkness which draws a sigh of relief from leave my lips. Thankfully Gary is still asleep, it's far too early for him to be awake anyway.

 

Once the door is closed, I hurry into the bathroom and I lock myself inside. Right now, I don't feel real, I don't feel alive anymore. Heavily I pant whilst my forehead rests against the closed door, finally I feel safe again. Safe in my own home.

 

Right now I feel like breaking down, but I can't, I can't let Gary know about tonight and I can't let him see me in this state either, that isn't because I'm trying to protect Ryan, far from it. Turning around, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my whole body and face is covered in dry mud with pink and red scratches which glow on my pale looking skin. It brings a shiver down my spine and sickness hits me like a punch to the stomach, I'm familiar with that feeling.  

 

"Oh God." Inaudibly I whisper under a heavy breath. It's going to be hard trying to hide everything from Gary, especially the mental side of things. Even now when I close my eyes for a brief moment, the flashbacks come flooding back into my mind, making my hands and legs quiver. "...Why me? Why me?" Silently I ask myself as the tears build in my eyes. Maybe it was my fault, I have been too friendly with him lately, simply because I wanted the attention which Gary hasn't been giving me. I'm a selfish twat and I deserved this... _and more._

 

Shaking away the painful thoughts, I turn on the shower whilst I strip the mud covered clothing away from my body. Within a matter of minutes, I'm under the hot spray which soothes my aching bones, but that doesn't stop the tears from pouring from my eyes. In a matter of seconds my legs surrender, very slowly my back slides down the tiles until I reach the bottom of the shower where I bring my knees to my stomach and my emotions take over.

 

\-------------------

 

Laying on my right hand side, I stare against the wall. I've lost track of time, it's been at least a few hours since I left the shower and sleep has become impossible, I wasn't expecting to get any tonight anyway.

 

A further ten minutes pass and the figure starts to stir beside me, causing all of the hairs to stand on end by the sudden movement. I feel like a rabbit in headlights, never before have I been so afraid of Gary waking up.

 

"Mhmm..." Loudly he groans and stretches beside me, instantly I close my eyes whilst my back remains facing him and I pretend to be asleep. I really can't be dealing with twenty questions right now, as harsh as it may sound, I wish he'd hurry up and leave so I can try to piece my mind together before I eventually face him. Feeling his fingers run through my hair, goosebumps form on every inch of my skin. Usually I'd be purring like a cat over his gentle morning touches, but right now, I'm holding back the tears the best that I can.

 

Feeling the mattress shift and the sound of his feet make contact with the creaky floorboards, I peer through one of my eyelids. Opening the wardrobe in search of his outfit for the day, he releases a yawn and scratches the back of his bed head. It feels weird laying here, hiding my tears and fears from the man that I love. If it was an ordinary day, we'd probably wake up together, have a morning shag then lay together in one anothers arms refusing to move, but today is different.

 

 _Very_ different.

\----------------------

 

As soon as Gary left I broke down, fully broke down. My heart hurts and my head violently spins, it almost feels like it's about to explode due to the throbbing in my temples. Reaching for my mobile from the bedroom table, without even wiping the tears from my view, I quickly scroll through my contacts before hitting the call button.

 

After four rings, the voice finally answers. "...Hello?" His voice reflects the way I'm currently feeling. "...Hello?...Mark? You there, mate?"

 

Unable to hold my breathing together, I continue to sob down the phone. "...I...I'm...I'm...sorry..."

 

"Huh? What for? Is Gary there?"

 

Wiping my face with my free hand and duvet, it's painful to even cry. "...I...I...I...fucked...fucked up...so...s...so bad."

 

Sounding slightly frustrated by my lack of explanation, but also sounding extremely concerned, Robbie becomes patient with me. "Listen, I'm coming over, alright? Just stay there. Explain everything to me when I get there, OK? Are you safe?"

 

"Mhmmuh." Shakily I answer.

 

"Right. See you in ten minutes, max."

 

With that, the call is ended and I continue to cry like a baby. I haven't cried this bad since my parents died. I feel destroyed.

 

\------------------

 

"Mark? It's me." A voice calls through the front door. I haven't even got the energy to answer him, never mind move so that I can greet him. The tears has stopped and my emotions and body becomes numb. "...Mark?" The bedroom door becomes ajar and a flushed face peers around it. "Ah...there you are. Thought you had been abducted then." Jokingly he laughs attempting to make me smile, but fails. Walking into the bedroom and looking slightly uneasy, he perches onto the corner of the mattress. "...Where's Gaz?" He quizzes seconds later.

 

The room drops to complete silence, it's almost deafening. "...Gone." I mutter out the weak reply minutes later.

 

"Have you two had another tiff?" Examining me, I notice his eyes focus on the scratches on my face. "...Bloody 'ell, mate. I don't mean to sound rude but you...you look awful."

 

"I feel it."

 

Raising an eyebrow, he scratches the back of his head. "Is this to do with his parents again? He hasn't fucked off to them and left you, has he?"

 

"...It's my fault. Everything is my fault."

 

The younger man shakes his head and lightly sighs. "...It isn't your fault, Mark and you know it. Gary's Dad is an arse and a complete prick, anyone can see that. And if Gary has gone running back to them then he's just as bad, he's worse."

 

Closing my eyes firmly shut, I feel another headache coming along. The words I want to say are sitting on the tip of my tongue, but something is stopping me from speaking them. Will he even believe me? Are people ever believed when this kind of stuff is reported? Whenever I read about it in the newspapers usually it's from women who are the victims and they are blamed for everything because they brought it on themselves, mainly because of the way that they dress. I've never heard about a man being in that position before...not until it's happened to me. Then again, nothing really happened, but that still doesn't make it right.

 

Rob continues to babble on about how much of a waste of space Gary's parents are which causes me to snap. "It's nothin' to do with his parents! It's nothing to do with Gary for fuck sake!" Sitting up abruptly, there's a sharp pain present in my stomach, causing me to wince and groan from the unbearable pain. "Ahhhh. Ouch." Wrapping my arms around my body, I pull my knees into my chest whilst my face rests against them.

 

"Christ..." Faintly Rob mumbles. Nervously he places a hand onto my arm and very lightly rubs my back with the other for support. "...Mark, something clearly isn't right 'ere. Why are you in pain? Did you and Gaz have a fight? You know, a fist fight?"

 

Weakly I shake my head, still refusing to look at him. "...N...Nothing to do...with Gaz...he...he doesn't know."

 

"...So...you had a fight with someone?" Very lightly I nod my head. "Show me where you're hurting, so I know how I can help you?" I haven't even had a look at myself properly, not even during the shower this morning. "...Please, Mark. You called me for a reason and I'm sure it wasn't just for you to tell me to stop poking my nose in."

 

"S...sorry..." Painfully I sigh. Maybe I'm being over dramatic, he did knock me about a bit and he did try to force himself onto me, but he didn't actually manage to do it. But it still has put me in a lot of danger, who knows what he'll do next.

 

Sliding down the duvet and dropping my head back against the headboard, I keep my eyes closed whilst my body is now fully exposed. There's complete silence for a minute or two, it's almost as if I'm sitting here alone. "...F...fuckin' hell. No wonder you're in pain."

 

Flicking open my eyelids, I glance down at my body and instantly I start to feel sick again. A huge purple and grey bruise sits in the centre of my stomach, proving that the whole nightmare was after all real. Tears fill my eyes as I cast my mind back over to what happened just hours ago, I can't hold it anymore. "...I...I'm...I'm so sorry." Uncontrollably I sob.

 

"Hey..." Pulling me closer to his body, he tightly holds me in his arms whilst I continue to cry. "Why did this happen, Mark?"

 

"...It's...it's...my fault. I asked for this...I...I told him to stop, but he wouldn't...he wouldn't stop, Rob."

 

"Who? Who wouldn't stop? And why is this your fault?" He almost begs for answers.

 

"...I...I was leadin' him on, because Gary wasn't giving me the attention I needed. I'm so...so fuckin' selfish! I hate myself." Loudly I cry out, whilst my heart begins to hurt.

 

"Please...please tell me you didn't...cheat on, Gaz?!"

 

My throat becomes dry and I feel deflated. I don't even know how to answer that. What exactly is classed as cheating? Flirting? Kissing? Touching? Intercourse?

 

Still speechless, I cling tighter to the younger man's body. "...S...s...sorry..."

 

Deeply he sighs and it feels like I've let him down, _big_ time. "Oh...oh, Mark. Gary's going to be devastated. Why? Did you have sex with this other person?"

 

It's impossible to hold back much longer. I didn't cheat by having sex with Ryan, I'd never do that to Gary, _ever._ The only form of cheating I've done is flirt, harmlessly flirt. Lifting my head up, we finally make eye contact for the first time today. "...I...I...I flirted with him...a few times."

 

Frowning his eyebrows, he looks extremely confused. "...Right?"

 

"H...h...he tried..." Feeling my heart crack, it feels like I've swallowed a knife. "...He...tried...he tried to...rape...me, Rob." Dropping my head back against his chest, I don't even give him chance to give me a reaction. 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written roughly a year ago and final chapters are being rewritten. Direct me towards any mistakes and feel free to ask any questions :)


End file.
